The next few days continued along the same path as our first day there. Our loving, intimate moments interspersed with romantic walks along the beach and a couple of swimming adventures in the ocean. There were no more arguments, though. Just hour upon hour of spending time with each other, completely peaceful in our time alone together.
When what I guessed to be our fifth full day on the island came, we decided it was time for Edward to hunt. He had grudgingly agreed, and tried to convince me after lunch that he would go while I was sleeping that night. I insisted that he go during the day because I couldn't sleep without him next to me, and after a few minutes of my pleas he finally gave in.
"I'm only going to be gone a short time--an hour, maybe less. I'll stay here on the island, close enough to hear you. Just yell if you need me, okay?" I followed him up the stairs as he changed into comfortable looking jeans and a dark blue button-down shirt, rolling the sleeves up to his elbows.
"Edward, don't worry about me. I'm going to be fine. Please, go, enjoy yourself." A sly smile began to creep across my face. "This might be one of the last times you get to hunt alone, for awhile anyway." He glanced at me with a reproving look. I knew he wanted to argue with my insinuation that I would be changed soon, but after my "tantrum" the other day he probably decided it was best to keep quiet. I agreed. I had made up my mind, and there was no changing it. I wanted to be changed here, alone, with Edward. I would tell him those plans soon enough.
He held my hand as we walked downstairs and outside. "I'll be back soon. Call if you need me." He kissed me on my forehead and quickly disappeared into the trees.
I walked back into the house, not sure what I was planning to do while he was gone. I glanced at a completely stocked bookshelf that was placed next to a gorgeous wood-burning fireplace on the wall just to the right of the kitchen. The fireplace was made of stained concrete and brick, with a mixture of earth-toned brown and gold, a large copper vase sitting to one side complimenting the area nicely. I considered curling up on the sofa with one of the many books, but remembered that I hadn't called Charlie or Renee since we had arrived, and they would probably want to hear from me at some point.
I sat on the tan couch facing the fireplace and pulled my cell phone out of my pocket, quickly dialing Renee's number. She answered on the second ring, a slur of excitement pouring from the phone as she voiced how happy she was to hear from me.
"Oh, Bella, how are you? I'm so glad you called, I've missed talking to you so much! I emailed you a few times, but I'm not sure if you have internet access where you are. Where are you, anyway? Are you guys having a good time? How was--um--everything? You know, everything. Are you okay? Tell me all about it!"
The conversation went on like that for a few minutes. I could feel myself blush when she asked about our first night, but she moved to another topic quickly enough that I didn't have to give any details. I limited my answers to one-word or close to it, allowing her to ramble as long as she wanted. She told me she was back in Phoenix for a little while, and that she was trying to sell the house there which made me a little sad. She told me about how beautiful the wedding was, and that she absolutely adored Esme, Carlisle, and all of the Cullens. She also told me how lucky I was to have a sister like Alice who put her whole heart into making our wedding day perfect--she had no idea.
When she finally slowed long enough to hear about our time here, I told her about how beautiful everything was. I told her about the candles and rose petals everywhere, and the champagne and strawberries. I described the gorgeous house and landscape, leaving out the fact that we were on a private island owned by my new family. Instead I said we were staying at their beach house in Brazil, which was still a total shock to her. It would have been a shock to me too, but I was getting used to it now. They could probably buy Brazil if they wanted to.
I stayed on the line longer than I had expected, savoring my time with Renee. I knew there was a good chance I would probably not see her again, and wouldn't be able to talk to her for much longer either.
After we said our goodbyes, I dialed Charlie, knowing it would be a quick conversation. He answered after a few rings, the sound of ESPN blaring in the background. "Hey, Bells, how are you doin'?"
"Hey, dad! I'm doing good, I just wanted to call and check in. From the sounds of things you are doing alright." I smiled at the thought of him sitting on the couch, probably with a hot pocket, watching sports--his favorite thing to do.
"Yep, I'm doing great, Bells! Actually Sue came by with some sandwiches and brought Billy, we are just getting ready to watch the game." My heart thudded at the sound of Billy's name.
"Oh, Billy's there? How's Jake doing, is he there too?" The question blurted out of my mouth before I could think about what I was saying.
Everyone had seen the confrontation at the wedding, and knew Jake and I were not happy with each other. I hoped Charlie wouldn't push the subject about our argument. He had always wished that I had chosen Jake, but I was married now, and I didn't expect him to give me too much grief about the Jake situation.
"No, Jake's not here. But don't worry, he's--um--he's doing better." I could tell there was something else lingering in his words, but with Sue and Billy there I decided not to press the subject. I knew he was doing 'better,' whatever that meant, so that was okay.
"Oh," was all I could muster. I was quiet for a minute, then regained my focus when Charlie started asking about the trip.
As I had suspected, the conversation didn't last much longer. I told him the same thing I had told Renee about where we were, and he was satisfied to know I was having a good time and that I was safe. We disconnected after only a couple of minutes on the line, and I looked up at the clock. Edward had been gone fifty-three minutes, and would be returning shortly. I hoped he was enjoying his hunt, although there were probably no mountain lions on this island.
I slumped down in the couch, curling my knees to my chest and resting my chin between them as I waited for Edward to return.
Don't you come back with a tan now, Bells. I might not recognize you, was the last thing Charlie had said before we hung up, and it had made my heart ache with loss. I had already made my decision, and I had thought through the consequences--accepting each of them in time--but it was still hard to accept when there were mentions of a future I knew would not exist. I buried my face in my knees and took two deep breaths, trying to hold back the sobs that I felt rising in my chest.
I quickly raised my head when I felt a cool, smooth hand touch my shoulder. My eyes met with Edward's as he sat on the couch, pulling me into his lap. He wiped away the tear that had begun to run down my cheek, his eyes consumed with worry.
I curled up in his lap and wept as he stroked my back lovingly, trying to calm me. "Shhh, baby, it's okay. Everything will be okay. Shhh, Bella." I didn't think he knew why I was crying, but appreciated that he didn't ask me to explain in that moment.
***
I had let the tears drain from my eyes slowly, eventually falling asleep with Edward still holding me on the couch. I awoke a couple of hours later, still in the same position on his lap, his hand still running over my hair. Edward began fixing me dinner as I went upstairs to take a long, hot shower. I stood under the water completely still for a long while, thinking about my earlier conversations with my parents and my subsequent breakdown. I knew what I wanted to do--my mind had not changed--I just didn't realize the decision would be so difficult when it came time to follow through.
I thought about my explanation to Edward as I numbly went through the routine of my shower, trying to figure out how to tell him what had happened without stalling him from changing me as soon as possible. My options were: I spoke with Charlie and Renee and it was hard to accept that I had to let them go so soon (truth always the foremost option). I spoke with Renee and she was selling my childhood home (also the truth, just not the reason I was crying), or I had smashed my finger in the phone when I closed it after my phone call with Charlie (not even close to the truth, and not very believable).
I came to the conclusion that the truth was the best option. I would just have to explain my thought process to him, allowing him to see that I still wanted to be changed more than anything, despite the consequences.
I quickly dried off after completing my shower, leaving the towel weaved in my hair and sitting in a twisted mass on top of my head. Not concerned about my attire for the evening, I dressed in a white tank top and navy blue pajama shorts that I was thankful Alice had added, probably seeing that I wouldn't want to wear silk and lace every day. I descended the stairs and saw Edward in the kitchen filling my dinner plate with pasta, carefully placing a sliced grilled chicken breast on the plump noodles and pouring alfredo sauce over the top. The smell of the delicious looking meal reached my nose, causing my stomach to rumble in approval. Edward set the plate on the dining table and pulled out a chair, motioning for me to have a seat.
I ate the meal slower than I normally would have, savoring the moment which I assumed was the quiet before the storm. Edward seemed very patient and unassuming leaning against the counter, a content smile sitting on his lips as he watched me eat from his position in the kitchen.
When I had finally emptied the plate and gulped down a glass of water, I turned in my seat to face him, preparing to talk about my breakdown. His eyes were glued to mine, obviously concerned but not searching for information or an explanation as I thought they would be. He was amazing.
"Edward, I'm really sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to lose it like that, and I'm sure you're going crazy, not knowing what happened." I took a deep breath and continued. "I had called Renee while you were gone and talked to her for a little while, telling her about our time here and catching up. And then I called Charlie, and he . . . " My breath caught and I felt my throat tighten with the sob I knew was coming. I took a deep breath and blinked hard, keeping my eyes shut for longer than normal to hold back the tears. When my eyes opened Edward was at my side, reaching out to push back a strand of hair that had fallen from the towel.
"Bella, it's okay. I know, and it's okay." He leaned to kiss my forehead and then kneeled next to me so we were at eye-level. "Everything is going to be alright." His eyes were full of understanding, and something else--forgiveness?
He said he knew, but how could he know? Did he overhear my conversations? Could he hear what Charlie had said on the other line? But he couldn't have known I had decided that I would be changed here, and that I hadn't planned to see them again, could he?
"What do you mean? I mean, how do you. . ." My voice sounded frantic with the mixture of confusion and near-sobs.
He looked down toward my lap for a moment, and then back up at my face, meeting my probing gaze. "Well, I got a call from Jasper while I was out hunting and they had heard. And then I caught your conversation with Charlie as I was on my way back. I'm sorry, love. I know this must be hard. I'll be here for you, however you need me to be." I was completely bewildered at this point. I got a call from Jasper... they had heard--What did that mean? How could they have possibly heard? Did Alice have a vision? Did she see my decision and see that I was upset about it?
Edward waited for me to speak, and when I didn't--still trying to understand the events that had occurred--he finally asked me to explain my thoughts. "Bella, please tell me what is wrong. He is happy now, he has found his purpose. Isn't that a good thing? Were you sad because you were, jealous?" I saw a tinge of sadness cross his face as the word escaped his lips.
"Edward, what are you talking about? I don't understand what happened... how did Jasper know what was going on? How did you know what was going on?" I thought about his words, trying to determine what he meant. He is happy now, he has found his purpose. Something wasn't right. We weren't having the same conversation, but I had heard similar words before. From Charlie. No, Jake's not here. But don't worry, he's--um--he's doing better.
"Is this about Jacob?" I must have sounded almost hysterical because Edward's eyes went wide, his face filling with confusion. "Yes, Bella. Isn't that what you were talking about? What you were upset about earlier?" My tense muscles eased slightly at the realization that we were having different conversations and I hadn't completely lost my mind, yet. My confusion, however, did not subside. I still had no idea what was going on with Jake.
"What about Jake? What do you mean, "He's happy now?" My dad said the same thing on the phone, but he didn't tell me why." My eyes fixed on his, waiting for any indication of what he knew.
"Oh, I see. Well, he--um--he's imprinted, Bella." Oh. A flood of emotions ran through me - everything from excitement to curiosity to extreme protectiveness, but no jealousy. No disappointment. I was, relieved.
A rush of air blew out of my mouth as my face formed into a smile. "He did? That's great! When? Who is she? Do we know her?" Edward sat back on his heels, obviously pleased we had cleared up the confusion, but still seemed a little tense. He hadn't told me everything.
"Well, that was a big misunderstanding," he chuckled. "Yes, Jacob imprinted. It is great, I hear he is very happy." He smiled, his eyes still watching me tentatively.
"Who did he imprint on? Do we know her? Is she okay with everything?" There were so many questions running through my head. I wanted to call Jake and congratulate him - I knew he had felt left out when many of his pack brothers had imprinted and he still had not--but I didn't know if he would accept my call. We hadn't exactly parted on the best of terms.
"Jasper didn't know all of the details, but he said she seemed to be happy with Jacob, too. He and Alice were in Port Angeles shopping this morning, and happened to run into them. It was obvious that they were together, but Jasper picked up Jacob's feelings and knew right away what had happened. He said her feelings weren't nearly as strong, but she liked him very much. Especially the attention he gave her." He said it as though she needed the attention--as if she would require that from any boyfriend. I didn't like the sound of that. I wondered if this girl used the fact that he was so instantly devoted to her happiness to her advantage.
I immediately felt very protective over him, as though he were my son bringing home a new girlfriend. I had no reason to feel this way, though. Jake was not my son, not even close. Plus, I had no idea about this girl--she could be perfectly nice. I didn't even know her name, because Edward still had not answered that question. "Edward, who is she?"
He took in a breath and very matter-of-factly said, "Jessica Stanley."
