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If There Were No Monsters and No Magic by Koinaka






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Table of Contents
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Story Notes:

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

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Prologue

The envelope lay discarded on the table, still unopened where it would stay for the discernible future if Bella had any sense of self-preservation. When Isabella Black, nee Swan, opened the mailbox that afternoon, she had expected many things: bills, magazines, and, of course, the customary junk mail. What she hadn't expected was the thick, cream-colored envelope with a return address that made her chest constrict painfully and her breath come in short gasps. The Cullens. So surprised to see that name that she had dropped it on the ground and spun around, her eyes darting across the edge of the forest. Once she was certain, well, as certain as she could be, that there was no one there, she had run into the house.

Why, after nearly four years had passed, were they contacting her now, and by letter, of all things? She shook her head in an attempt to clear thoughts of baseball, Italy, and other forbidden things out of her mind. Arms wrapped across her body, she felt the familiar ache begin to spread across her chest, the once-healed hole tearing once more.

She sat on the floor with her back against the door for several more minutes before finally standing up. She snatched the envelope off the table and ripped it open before she lost her nerve. She blinked once, twice, three times at the contents. All there was in the envelope was a letter, and by letter she meant the paper that contained one sentence in Alice's elegant script and two first class tickets, one adult, one child, to Hanover, New Hampshire. The letter read: If you ever find yourself stranded...

A fluttering against her stomach brought Bella firmly to the present - a present the Cullens were not a part of. Resting one hand on the swell of her small, but growing, belly, she stuffed the tickets back into the envelope and put the entire thing in her pocket. She could not deal with this, whatever this was, now. Jacob and Catherine would be home soon. With a sigh, Bella went to the cabinet and started gathering the stuff to make dinner.

She was putting the finishing touches on a salad when she heard the front door open and close.

"You're right on time! Dinner's ready," she called.

When she didn't get a reply, she peered over the wall. Jacob was standing there, staring intently at a picture of two of them at their wedding, a despondent look on his face. "Hey, where's Catherine?" she asked, walking over and wrapping her arm around his waist. She pulled away when she felt him stiffen in her arms.

"I dropped her off at Sam and Emily's," he said flatly.

"Oh," she said, her brow furrowed in confusion. "Why? Everything okay?"

"No." He shook his head. "It's not."

Chapter One

Life is nothing more than a series of moments woven together. Bella, as a photographer, understood this better than most. Photography was not something she was interested in through high school. No, it was something she stumbled across in what she now termed the aftermath of Edward, when she thought of it at all. It was her crutch then, in those dark times when she could barely function, when she was across the country with no sun to give her light. Somehow, it made it easier, safer, to observe the world through a lens instead of actually participating in it. Eventually, when the pain was more bearable, it became her passion. Because photographs were proof. Proof that moments actually happened. So, Bella spent as much time as she could capturing moments, some her own, some of others. But this... this moment. It needed no photographs to remember. In fact, Bella wished, more than she had ever wished that this moment had not happened.

"Say something," pleaded Jacob.

"What?" Bella said, her tone bitter, "What should I say, Jacob?"

"I don't know."

"You said it would never happen to you." Her tone was accusing now.

"I didn't think it would," he murmured.

"You promised me. You married me!" Her voice cracked, then, and the tears that had been burning behind her eyes finally spilled down her cheeks.

"I know."

"And now what? You're just going to throw this away? Throw away our marriage, our family just like that?"


Jacob was pacing now, walking the floor in between their television set and their couch endlessly. Bella sat, unmoving on the couch, one hand clenched in a tight fist, the other resting protectively over the swell of her stomach. Jacob ran a hand through his loose hair and let out a long sigh.

"Not just like that, Bella. Do you have any idea what this is like for me? I've spent the last month trying to ignore it, hoping it would just go away, but it won't, and I can't do it anymore, Bella. I can't."

"Oh," Bella stammered. She felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. "The last month," she repeated, and suddenly she was gasping for breath because she knew, then, that this was truly happening. Because she remembered, with perfect clarity, that day - the day when everything had changed, if she had been strong enough to admit it then.

A Month Earlier

Sunlight flooded their small bedroom, aroma of breakfast permeated the air, and childish laughter echoed off the walls. None of these very common occurences were what woke Bella up, however. No, it was a delicious heat tracing patterns on her still mostly flat stomach that roused Bella from her nocturnal world. The fingers were soon replaced by a pair of lips. Bella shivered after said lips pressed a kiss to the naked skin before the lips, and presumably the body attached to them, continued their upwards journey, trailing kisses as they went. By the time she felt a puff of warm air ghost over her lips, all semblance of sleep was gone, and she lifted her head to meet Jacob in a fervent kiss.

"Good morning," Jacob murmured huskily once they parted.

Bella's only response was to grab a hold of his t-shirt with one hand and pull him back down to her. Her other hand buried itself in his ebony locks.

"Mornin'," she mumbled against his lips before she nipped his bottom lip and deepened the kiss. Jacob groaned and pressed against her, his hardness becoming more evident to her as their kiss continued.

Bella pulled away only long enough to pull her t-shirt over her head. Jacob was about to do the same when a cheer erupted from the living room.

"Crap," groaned Jacob. "I forgot the reason I came in here in the first place. Our dads are in the next room. There's a ball game on today, but they've agreed to babysit so we can go to Seattle and pick up the cradle from that store..." he trailed off, unable or, more likely, unwilling to continue with that train of thought when Bella's hips thrust up to meet him.

"Bella," he gasped as Bella's hips continued moving against him. "They're right in there! What if they hear?"

Bella gave him a pointed look before grinning wickedly. "Then you'll just have to be very quiet, won't you?" She said as she unfastened his pants and slipped one of her small hands inside.

There was another cheer, followed by a crash, and then a giggle.

"Jake?" called Charlie, "Got any clean towels in there?"

With a sigh, Jacob untangled himself from Bella and got off the bed. He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I'll go. You stay in bed."

Sighing herself, she shook her head. "No, I'm up now. Besides, I smell breakfast, and that must mean one of you cooked. I should, at the very least, go and see what damage was wrought on my kitchen." She fumbled for her t-shirt and put it back on.

"Hey," said Jacob, defensively. "I can cook, you know."

"Sure, sure. If by cook you mean pour milk and cereal into a bowl," Bella said, teasingly, grinning at her husband.

"Yeah, well, that just shows how much you know because I can also make toast," he retorted triumphantly.

"And we all know how difficult that is." She disappeared into the bathroom, and when she returned, she was fully dressed and carrying a towel. "Come on, then, let's see what you cooked me."

The kitchen, it seemed, was undamaged. The same could not be said for Catherine, their two-year old daughter.

"Mama!" she squealed when she caught sight of Bella. "Ball!" She said and offered a very sticky baseball to Bella. The hand that held the ball was just as sticky the ball was - along with everything else on her. She was wearing a tiny little Mariner's uniform that was soaked with what appeared to be orange juice.

"We had a bit of an accident," Charlie admitted, gesturing to the puddle of orange juice on the floor. "She's got an arm on her, that's for sure," he muttered.

Bella narrowed her eyes at her father. "Small?" she echoed, handing him the proffered towel and scooping the sticky toddler into her arms. She peppered the tiny girl with kisses. "What in the world was your grandfather thinking?" she asked.

Catherine giggled. "Ball!" she repeated, handing the ball to Bella. Bella took it from the small girl and dropped it in her father's lap.

"I can see that. You, little girl, are in need of a bath," Bella said, taking the now squirming girl into the bathroom.

Half-an-hour later, the two of them emerged, Catherine clean and dry, Bella, slightly damp. Charlie, Billy, and Jacob were engrossed in the baseball game, but upon seeing Bella, they looked appropriately contrite.

"Sorry, Bells," Jacob said. "I suppose we could have given her a bath. Come here, my little Kit Kat."


Bella growled low in her throat. "How many times do we have to go through this? My daughter is not a candy bar!"

"Sure, sure," Jacob said, easily, as he tickled Catherine mercilessly for a few seconds.

Bella glowered at him, but he was not deterred at the least. He deposited Catherine in Charlie's lap and grabbed Bella's hand, pulling her towards the door.

"Have fun kids," called Charlie, not even bothering to take his eyes off the screen. Catherine was mimicking Charlie's posture, staring at the screen with a look of concentration.

"Please try to make sure my house and daughter are in one piece when we return," Bella pleaded.

"This may come as a surprise to you, Bells, but between Billy and me, we've raised four kids. I'm sure we can handle one two year old for the afternoon."

"And you two turned out just fine," Billy interjected.

Bella cast a sideways glance at Jacob warily. Somehow, she was not reassured, but the dads had watched Catherine before, and she was always returned - relatively - unscathed.

"Fine," she conceded.

"Kids are pretty resilient, you know?" Charlie said, helpfully, "You survived Renee after all."

Bella opened her mouth, but before she could reply, Jacob was dragging her out the door.

The car ride to Seattle was pretty quiet. They talked about inconsequential things, and Bella dozed off and on for a good deal of the trip. This pregnancy was already taking it's toll on her and she hadn't even reached the twelve-week mark yet. That was to be expected as she was having twins, but she still wasn't used to the exhaustion -- or the ridiculous bouts of morning sickness.

Charlie's mentioning of Renee had caused Bella to face a frightening truth. She was going to have to tell Renee she was pregnant - again. To say Renee had been displeased the first time would be a vast understatement. One wedding would have been more than enough for Renee. She had given Bella minimal support when she had announced her impeding nuptials to Edward though she hadn't bothered to mask her relief when they had called it off. When Bella called to tell her she had married Jacob, Renee let her know what a huge mistake she had made. When Bella told her she was pregnant the first time, they had the worst fight they'd ever had, both saying things they should not have said.

"You are ruining your life!"

"No," Bella had said coolly, "I don't think I am. I love Jacob, and we might be young, but this is right for us." It hadn't been exactly planned, but Bella had had no intention of telling her mother that.

"Love him, then, if you insist on it, but a child, Bella... Don't you realize you're trapped there now? Is that what you want? To turn out like me? Stuck in a miserable little town in an unhappy marriage with a child that you..." Through the phone, Bella could nearly hear her mother's jaw snap shut.

"Don't want?" Bella finished for her, her voice thick with tears. "Like you didn't want me?"

"That's not what I meant -"

Bella cut her off then. "No, Mom, I do understand, really. I was more a mother to you than you were to me, after all. When I should have been worried about homework and friends, instead I was worried about whether you would remember to pay the bills or buy groceries, or if you would finally manage to kill yourself in another one of your 'hobbies'. So, I doubt I could ever turn out like you because I will never treat my child like that or like this."

The silence after that was deafening.

She hadn't spoken to her mom again until Catherine was nearly two months old, and Catherine was eight months old before Renee or Phil met her in person. All in all, Bella wanted to avoid telling her altogether, though she knew it was inevitable.

"I know that look," Jacob commented from the seat next to her.

"Oh?" asked Bella, arching an eyebrow, "Do you now? And what, exactly, does this look mean?"

"You're thinking of Renee."

Bella scoffed but then sighed. She chewed on her bottom lip, brushing a piece of her brown hair behind her ear. "Fine, you're right, I am."

Jacob let out a barking laugh. "Just tell her and get it over with. I don't know how many more nights I can stand to listen to you practice speeches in your sleep."

She shot him a sharp look. "You tell her if you think it's so easy!"

A grimace was his only response.

The furniture store Bella had wanted to go to was really just a fancy name for the home of an elderly man who refinished antiques. Bella had discovered an absolutely darling little cradle while wandering at a flea market with Emily only days after she had found out she was pregnant. They still had the crib Catherine used, but
Bella hadn't been able to pass this find by. This had turned out to be a good thing as it wasn't long after picking up the crib they found out about the twins.

Jacob left Bella in Barnes and Noble while he drove the fifteen minutes to pick up the cradle. Bella was ecstatic for the chance to browse the store alone, but when Jacob returned with a haunted look about him, she wished that she had gone with him, if for no other reason than to know for sure what had happened. He had assured her he was fine, but it was clear he was not.

Since that day, he had been different. Angrier. Moodier. Unhappy. Bella had brushed it off as stress. He spent his days at the station, his nights either in the garage rebuilding cars for the few clients he had managed to scrape up or on patrol. She knew he worried about money a lot of the time, especially now. A new baby would have certainly made things tighter, but two would be more than a bit of a strain.

It all hit her like a ton of bricks: Jacob's extra hours in the shop, his seemingly unnecessary trips to Seattle for parts he "couldn't buy in Forks or Port Angeles." They were supposedly for a new client he had received, but now she realized, with horror, that maybe it wasn't a for client after all. Maybe he'd been seeing her all along. His imprintee. His soulmate.

"Oh," she said softly, dumbly, "Oh," she repeated once more. "You've been seeing her, haven't you?"

Jacob was staring transfixed at the floor, unable to meet her penetrating gaze, but finally he nodded once. "I have, but not like you think, Bella. I would never do that to you, you know that. We're only friends now, nothing more." The 'yet' went unsaid.

Bella sent him a withering look which may have been more effective had she not been crying. "Do I know that?" she said, scathingly, "I don't think I do. It's obvious that I know nothing about you. Because the Jacob I know wouldn't abandon his family for someone he's only friends with."

"I'm not abandoning you, Bella. You act like I have a choice. I don't! You knew the risks before you got into this," he said. "It happened to Quil, Jared, and Sam. Not to mention Seth," he paused then. Seth's imprinting had surprised everyone. "I should have - we should have - realized it was inevitable. It's fate, and I can't fight it. Please don't ask me to. I love you, Bells, that hasn't changed, but I can't be with you that way anymore."

"You love me," she whispered brokenly. "Not enough though, never enough. I am never enough. Always lacking. Wasn't enough for him, not enough for you. Oh, God," she moaned as a wave of nausea threatened to send her to the floor retching. Her arms were wrapped around herself, but not tight enough, not nearly tight enough.

"Bella, no - it isn't that! I swear," his voice broke then, the moonlight illuminating the tears as they fell down his tanned skin. "You are enough, I just... I hate this! I should get a choice, damn it!" he snarled.

Bella's heart was beating wildly in her chest, the sound of it echoing in her ears. Fate. Her breathing hitched. Soul mate. She shivered. Choices. And that's what is all boiled down to, really. Their choices. Jake's choices. Bella's choices. Leaving Renee. Coming to Forks. Going to the beach. Meeting Jacob. Falling in love with Edward. Edward leaving. The period of darkness she could barely remember. Buying the motorcycles. Finding her own personal sun. Edward coming back. Choosing him. Him leaving once more. Loving Jacob. Marrying Jacob. Scenes flashed through her head; her life - their life - set on a never ending loop, and it was all too much for her. She stood up suddenly, she took one last look at Jacob before darting towards the front door.

"I've got to go get Catherine," she said.

"Wait, Bella, please don't leave like this. I can't stand to see you like this, and to know that I'm the reason why. I don't want to hurt you."

"And yet you do," she murmured before leaving the house, and Jacob, behind. She walked mechanically out to her small car. Her old truck had finally breathed it's last breath three years ago, and by then, Charlie had been more than happy to help the young couple buy a car deemed safe enough for Bella and the baby.

Bella let out a shuddering breath as she thought of Charlie. If Renee was unhappy with her choices, Charlie was the exact opposite. He had been more than thrilled when Bella and Jacob got together. He already thought of Jacob as the son he never had, and where Renee thought Bella was making a mistake, Charlie had been ecstatic when Catherine was born. Having missed out on so much of Bella's childhood, he really relished watching Catherine grow up. This would be difficult to explain to him.

She parked in front of Emily and Sam's house and took a minute to attempt to pull herself together. She was fairly certain everyone inside would already know--there are no secrets in a wolf pack after all. She wasn't going to stay long though, couldn't stay long, really, because she knew that seeing Emily and Sam together would break her heart all over again. Their love was too much even when Bella had been happy, but now...now, she knew she couldn't handle it.

Her hand was raised, poised to knock, when the door opened. Emily ushered her inside, pressing a cup of tea in her hands as she pushed her into a chair.

"Catherine's asleep," Emily told Bella when she looked around for signs of her daughter.

Bella nodded slowly, taking a long sip of tea. Finally when the silence stretched into several minutes, she sighed. "What do I do?" she whispered.

Emily's ruined lips turned in a sad smile. "What do you think you should do?"

Bella shrugged. "I can't stay there - here," she clarified, softly. "It would be too hard to see... well, everyone really."

"You should go, then. But this is your home, too, Bella, and we all care about you. That isn't going to change."

"Where would I go, if I left?" Bella asked, herself more than Emily. The plane tickets were heavy in her pocket. If you ever find yourself stranded... No, no, no, she couldn't go there, wouldn't go there. "Renee and I barely speak anymore, and my dad... he loves me, but he can't possibly understand what is going on."

Emily nodded sympathetically. "You are welcome to stay here with us for a while, if you need to. You know that, right? Sam and I both adore Catherine."
It was true. Catherine was the first child born to a member of the pack, and it certainly showed. She had the entire pack - even Paul and Leah, two of the more difficult members - wrapped around her tiny finger.

"Thank you," she told Emily earnestly, "For everything, really. You've been a wonderful friend, but I couldn't impose. I'll just spend the night with Charlie tonight. Things will look better in the morning." She hoped they would, at any rate.

"Of course." Emily took the cup out of her hand and sat it down on the table. "Catherine's on my bed. I'll just go get her for you. Her bag is on the couch."

Emily followed Bella out to her car and embraced her tightly after she buckled Catherine into her car seat. "Call me if you need anything."

The drive was a blur to Bella, and she barely recognized the house she pulled up to, though she should have. She certainly spent enough time there--rather Catherine spent a lot of time there.

With her daughter in one arm, she used her free arm to knock on the door.

The door opened quickly. "I thought you would turn up here," was the dry comment.

"I just... can I...we... can we come in?" Bella asked.

Leah scowled, but moved aside so Bella could enter the house.

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