BPOV
Standing on that ledge, looking out at the raging sea, I found it hard to believe that I had come so far. I had left my home three days previously; just jumped in the car and started driving. It wasn’t until I saw the “Welcome to Washington” sign that I noticed where my subconscious was taking me. Back to the place where it all started. Back to my home town of Forks, Washington. Well technically, I was standing in La Push, at the edge of a cliff overlooking the Pacific Ocean.
I knew that I wasn’t going to jump. I didn’t have the heart to do that to my husband, to my child. Edward had been nothing but perfect in every way. It was this perfection that drove me to the edge of this cliff, 2,000 miles from Chicago...from home. I couldn’t stand to look at his face, into his eyes that were filled with such love and admiration; not when every time I saw them, all I could think of was how I had betrayed him. I had done something that he could never forgive me for, something that I would never forgive myself for, and yet he had never found out. I was sure that when I came home that night that he would be able to see it in my eyes. That he would be able to see the immense guilt that emanated from my every pore. But he didn’t, and I've lived with this secret for five long years.
I heard something behind me snap and the sound brought me back to the present. I turned around and found myself standing face to face with my past, all 6 feet 5 inches of it. He looked just the way I remembered him. Tall and muscular with russet colored skin and long black hair. He had it tied in the back, at the nape of his neck, and I couldn’t help but think about how I used to love running my fingers through the silky strands. Standing here, staring at this man brought back all the memories that I had worked so hard to bury.
“Hello Jacob.” It was all the sound I could force from my lungs. The sight of him sent my heart into a panic and I was sure that he would be able to see it beating underneath my shirt, threatening to jump from my chest.
“Bella, it’s been a long time”
“Five years.”
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Ten Years Earlier
BPOV
“JACOB BLACK!! PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT!” I couldn’t help but laugh as Jacob carried me through the house. It was the day of my high school graduation, and Charlie and I went over to the Black’s house to celebrate. Charlie and Billy had been best friends for longer than either Jacob or I had been alive. By the time Jacob and I were old enough to walk, our fathers had been planning the wedding. They were so close, so to them, it only seemed natural that we would be too. The fact that Jacob Black had turned out to be one of the best looking guys in school didn’t exactly hurt either, even if he was a year younger than me.
“Aww, but I like carrying you. You’re so light that it’s like I’m carrying nothing anyway.” When we made it to his bedroom, he set me gently on my feet. Charlie and Billy were so oblivious to anything that we did that they didn’t even think twice about Jacob and I being alone in his room together. Either that or they would sooner believe that we were doing nothing rather than believe that their children weren’t complete angels. “I like that it’s so easy to carry you. I doubt that it would be so easy to carry Lauren.” He seemed to shudder at the thought.
“Oh? And what, exactly is that supposed to mean?” I asked as I wrapped my arms around his waist.
“Just that my girlfriend is definitely the prettiest, sexiest girl to have ever graduated from Forks High.”
“Sure, sure,” I answered as I rolled my eyes.
“She is. I wouldn’t say so if it weren’t true.” And with that he lowered his head to my face and his lips captured mine in one of his incredible kisses. We heard Billy’s voice coming down the hall, and we broke apart. Though Billy and Charlie had hoped that Jacob and I would be a couple, we hadn’t actually told them when we'd started going out. I think it was because we couldn’t stand to see the looks on their faces, that “I told you so” look. Jacob went to his computer and I sat at the edge of his bed.
“Now where could those kids have gotten off to?” Billy seemed to ask to himself. We heard a knock on the door and Jacob yelled, “Come in dad.”
“What are you two doing in here? Charlie and I are waiting to start dinner. We have a lot to celebrate tonight.” He threw a wink my way, turned, and left the room. I left my spot on the bed and grabbed Jacob’s hand, and we walked back out to the dining room in silence. Usually I was the one to cook, but because this was “my day,” Charlie had insisted on preparing dinner. I was terrified of what he would come up with and when I saw the Italian food all the way from Port Angeles, I let out a little sigh of relief.
We all gathered around the table. It was quiet for a few moments before Billy spoke. “So Bella, Charlie here tells me that you’ll be starting at Dartmouth in the fall. That’s quite a prestigious school.”
“Yeah it is. I can’t wait to start, but I’m really going to miss you all.”
“Especially Jacob huh?” Charlie said with a smirk. The heat rushed to my face, and I dipped my head to hide the blush.
Dinner continued on with polite conversation, and every now and then, Billy or Charlie would send me a knowing look, and I would blush again. After the dishes were clean and put away, Billy and Charlie went to watch a game, and Jacob and I went to talk in the back yard.
It was a rare cloudless night in Washington, so Jacob and I decided to make the most of it. We were lying on a blanket in the cool grass, just staring up at the sky, fingers intertwined at our sides. The stars lit up the sky and the moon was huge. It was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen. Jacob let out a sigh and rolled over so that he could face me, his elbow propping him up.
“Promise me that when you get to New Hampshire, you won’t leave me for the first frat boy who smiles at you.”
He was so serious that I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing. “Jacob Black, that is the most ridiculous thing that I have ever heard. I love you, you know that. No frat boy, no matter how cute, is going to come between you and me. Do you understand that?”
“That’s what you say now, but when you get up there, you might change your mind.” I knew that he was really worried about this, but I couldn’t help but find his worrying adorable.
“You have absolutely nothing to worry about Jake. We’re solid as a rock. Now stop talking about Dartmouth like I leave tomorrow. I don’t leave for another two months, and I plan to spend every moment of those two months with you.” The corners of his mouth turned up into a smile and I just admired his face. When he smiled like that, he eyes seemed to sparkle.
“Every moment?”
“Every moment.”
Later that night, as Charlie and I drove back home in silence, I began to think about what Jacob had said. Could I really leave him for someone else? Did I love him because of him, or was he just the best choice out of slim pickings? I banished that thought as I began relive all the things we had been through together. What we had was not something that could be undone. Was it?