Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 45

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 45

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 46

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 46

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 47

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 47

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 48

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 48

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 49

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 201
Three Steps To Zero by FatApolloLove






Your donations help keep this site running,
thank you very much for the support!
[Reviews - 11]
Table of Contents
- Text Size +
Story Notes:

Twilighted Validation Beta: OCD_indeed

Author's Chapter Notes:

Disclaimer: I own less than nothing of this story. Like, seriously, characters, plot, dialogue. None of its mine. I'm just a really creative, original person, I guess.

 


I. Volterra

 

When death finally crashed into me, it was gentle. A soft nudge hitting my chest. I wrapped my arms around it without thinking, embracing it, keeping it from getting away. I wanted it more than I had ever wanted anything in my life.

 

Almost anything.

 

I had gone to the Volturi and made my case. I had tried to explain to them how it felt, I let Aro inside my head, drinking up all of my thoughts. Could he feel emotion, too? Could he understand anything of what I needed to happen? Probably not.

 

There was no evidence of the agony in my thoughts; only words.

 

And I hadn't loved her in words.

 

This was what had to happen; what always had to happen. I was pleased with the way I had finally decided for it all to end.

 

Stepping out into the sun.

 

No one would get hurt. No one would die.

 

No one who isn't dead already.

 

She always thought I was beautiful.

 

 

"I don't scare you?" I asked with a smile.

 

She looked up at me, her eyes were wide and soft. She looked...enamored.

 

I couldn't help but feel a swell of affection for her. Her and her backwards instincts. Her finger was tracing the back of my hand lightly, the heat burning and teasing at my skin. Unbearable pleasure.

 

"No more than usual," she told me with a shrug. Her lips were upturned slightly in the most adorably reassuring smile. As if she was trying to tell me I had nothing to fear from her.

 

The happiness broke across my face. I could feel it, unable to contain it.

 

She saw me, she saw everything that I was, and she still wanted me.

 

 

I knew she was the only one. She alone, out of every human I could have ever met, would look at me and remain unaffected. Finding her, loving her, was something that was never supposed to happen. I knew that now.

 

The people here, they would not remain calm when they saw me for what I was. When they saw my skin, unnatural and undeniable, when they saw everything that I am laid bare before them, they would not understand. They would see the terrible hunger inside me. They would understand the death that surrounded my existence. They would see the soulless creature walking among them and they would know the truth.

 

And that was one thing the Volturi could not allow. It was the one thing they held close, the one rule they lived by. The only rule.

 

I would force the rule, I would force my death. I could hear in their thoughts the reason they didn't want to kill me. I could hear them thinking of my talent, of my value, of my potential. As if those things existed to me anymore. As if anything of what I once was still remained. How could they not see?

 

There is nothing left.

 

They wanted me with them, they wanted to love me and use me and take care of me. Aro wanted to fix me. He was sure that I would come to love him. That if he healed me, I would love him as I loved her. There was no difference to him.

 

I didn't want anyone to love me at the end. I didn't want to love anyone. Vampires should not love. Our love could only consume and destroy until there was nothing left. I would stop the desire for love, I would crush their need for lies, I would bring the truth crashing down on them and they would kill me for it. It was the best way, the only way.

 

It was her way.

 

Brown eyes always seeing through me, always understanding the truth at the center. She had never understood my truth, though. Love had blinded her from it. And it had gotten her killed.

 

She had taken her own life.

 

Because of me.

 

She had taken the one thing in my world that meant anything, she had snatched it away out of grief or anger or hopelessness. Because I had left her.

 

I would rather die than stay away from you.

 

I didn't believe her, then.

 

It always came back around to love. To the fact that we loved each other. And to the fact that, no matter what, my love would have to kill her. Leaving, staying, it didn't matter. Distance had no effect on it, absence couldn't touch it. It remained, waiting, until it could claim her life.

 

I love you. It's a poor excuse for what I'm doing, but it's still true.

 

And now here it was, to claim mine.

 

I wasn't going to live without you.

 

When death finally crashed into me, it was gentle. A soft nudge hitting my chest. I wrapped my arms around it without thinking, embracing it, keeping it from getting away.

 

You are my life. You're the only thing it would hurt me to lose.

 

I opened my eyes slowly and I saw her.

 

Agony.

 

Joy.

 

Death had taken me. It had come and it had come to me as her; as her small body trembling in my arms. She looked like she was about to fall over, like I was the only thing holding her up.

 

I was the only thing holding her up.

 

Her hands were on my chest, the heat burning into my bare skin.

 

"Amazing. Carlisle was right." I whispered at her.

 

I lifted one hand up to brush against her cheek. I had imagined touching her face so many times while I was still alive. Her skin was so soft, so warm.

 

Being with her was living and for the first time in over a century I was alive.

 

I heard her gasping, as if she had been running. Running to get to me, to bring me with her. I could feel myself start to smile slightly at the thought.

 

"Edward," she choked out my name. I felt my stomach twist at the sound. "You've got to get back into the shadows! You've got to move!"

 

There was force behind her words, but no volume.

 

I couldn't make myself pay attention to the riddle of her words. Her hands were pressing hard against me. I could figure out why. It didn't matter, she couldn't move me. There was nothing she could do that would push me away from her again. I was never going to let go of her now.

 

"I can't believe how quick it was. I didn't feel a thing," I told her, wanting to reassure her that I had felt no pain. She was looking up at me with a mixture of happiness, peace, and horror. "They're very good."

 

They had done what I had asked and no one had been hurt. Had the people around me even seen anything? Or had they stopped me before I had taken that final step out of the shade of the clock tower?

 

I was ecstatic at how much it had ceased to matter.

 

I leaned my head forward and pressed my lips to her hair. It was so soft, so fragrant beneath me. I could feel her struggling in my arms. Fighting to push me back, fighting to pull me closer.

 

Selfishly, I ignored her.

 

"Death that hath sucked the honey of thy breath, hath had no power yet upon thy beauty."

 

She was here. She looked just as she always did. More beautiful than I remembered, more beautiful than my memories could ever do justice. She was staring up at me as if I was the only one who could save her. Still.

 

I breathed in, never moving my face from her hair. She smelled just the same as always. Better. I could feel the ache in the back of my throat. It was there. And yet, there was no venom in my mouth, no tightening of my muscles. I had no instinct left that could hurt her.

 

"You smell just exactly the same as always," I told her, a smile touching the corners of my mouth. "So maybe this is hell," I mused. Then I tightened my arms around her slightly. "I don't care. I'll take it."

 

"I'm not dead," she cut me off suddenly, her voice loud now. Her beautiful, gentle voice. What was she saying? "And neither are you! Please, Edward, we have to move! They can't be far away!"

 

Her words were hurried, she seemed genuinely scared. She had nothing to fear anymore, didn't she know that? We were together, no longer in the world. Nothing could come between us, nothing could hurt us, nothing could tear her from me.

 

I could feel her struggling in my arms. I watched her with confusion. I wanted to comfort her, really I did. But all I could think was how wonderful it sounded to hear her say my name.

 

"What was that?" I asked her, hoping to ease whatever fears she might still carry with her. She had been dead longer than I had. How much time had passed for her?

 

"We're not dead! Not yet! But we have to get out of here before the Volturi..."

 

I felt my stomach drop as their thoughts cut sharply across her panicked tirade.

 

Edward.

 

Edward. He's here. There's a human with him.

 

They had found me. Had found us. And they were delighted at the opportunity to kill us both.

 

Kill us....because we weren't dead.

 

Instantly the agony of still existing flitted into my body. And then it was removed just as abruptly by the one simple fact that was staring me in the face.

 

She's alive.

 

I held her in my arms for a moment longer, her warm weight still thrashing around. She still thought I was crazy, still thought I had lost my mind. I breathed her in for the merest fraction of a second, savoring her in a moment so quick that she wouldn't notice, I'm sure.

 

I found her heartbeat.

 

With that one sound, I released her from my arms only to grip her shoulders and swing her quickly, gently around behind me. I pressed her against the brick wall beside me and whirled around to face them.

 

Felix and Demetri stepped forward, towards me, their faces pleasant and mocking. They had come to kill me. They had felt my resolve, and they were here to end it.

 

Bella.

 

"Greetings, gentleman," I said calmly, pleasantly. I didn't want her to know what was happening. How close we were. How afraid I was. "I don't think I'll be requiring your services today. I would appreciate it very much, however, if you would send my thanks to your masters."

 

They exchanged looks. I could see annoyance on each of their features.

 

He changed his mind?

 

What is he playing at?

 

Felix stepped forward slightly, staring at me with some mix of smug control, confusion, and disbelief.

 

"Shall we take this conversation to a more appropriate venue?" he offered me, blankly. This wasn't an option, I knew. He wasn't asking.

 

"I don't believe that will be necessary," I told him, allowing myself to glance at his thoughts. "I know your instructions, Felix. I haven't broken any rules."

 

"Felix merely meant to point out the proximity of the sun." Demetri sneered. "Let us seek better cover."

 

He was going to do it. Aro assured us he would. He had every intention of doing it.

 

Yes, I had.

 

I looked between the two of them. I knew they wouldn't give, wouldn't break. I couldn't have the Volturi coming after me. Coming after Bella. And I had to be where she was, that much had been settled already in my mind.

 

"I'll be right behind you," I told them with a slight nod.

 

They blinked back at me, waiting.

 

"Bella." I let her name roll off my lips slowly, smoothly. Her name. I was talking to her, she was there, she could hear me. And I was saying her name. "Why don't you go back to the square and enjoy the festival?"

 

I only had the chance to feel the slight stirrings of pain at the thought of being apart from her again. I might survive this, in which case our separation would only be temporary. Or I might not. Then it would be so much longer. I would wait forever, of course, but would she be in pain over it?

 

This is Bella? This is the child?

 

There was wonder in Felix's thoughts as they cut me off. Wonder...and annoyance. He couldn't kill me now. Not without the brothers' permission.

 

"No, bring the girl," Felix snapped impatiently. To her it sounded like a whisper.

 

My body went rigid and if it had been possible in that moment, I would have shuddered. A sudden icy hand was clenching at my chest.

 

Her...in that place.

 

"I don't think so." I shifted slightly, knowing that such a refusal gave them all the permission they needed to use force. Maybe not kill me; they had their ways of....compelling me to come with them.

 

But they would not take her.

 

I could hear her at my back. She had mouthed the word ‘no'. I could hear her lips move, I could smell the fear rolling off of her in waves. It wasn't fear for herself, I knew.

 

I begged her to be calm so quietly that I was sure only she could hear me. Maybe she couldn't.

 

"Felix, not here." Demetri stepped forward, drawing level with his friend. I could see him glancing past us, outside the alley. His thoughts were filled with caution. And rage. He turned back to me. "Aro would simply like to speak with you again, if you have decided not to force our hand after all."

 

Shame.

 

"Certainly." I matched his calm, reasonable tone flawlessly. "But the girl goes free."

 

That was always the condition.

 

"I'm afraid that's not possible." Demetri looked like he was trying to hold back a smile. "We do have rules to obey."

 

Only one. And she had broken it. I had broken it.

 

"Then I'm afraid that I'll be unable to accept Aro's invitation, Demetri." I said his name, harshly. He wanted to tear us apart again. He wanted to kill us both. Or just her. He wanted to take her from me. That was the only way to hurt me, and he knew it.

 

I could see in his thoughts how badly he wanted it. Felix's frustration at not being able to kill me was nothing compared to Demetri.

 

"That's just fine," Felix said gently. His excitement was building.

 

"Aro will be disappointed." Demetri's sigh suggested that his master was not the only one who would be unsatisfied with just my death.

 

"I'm sure he'll survive the letdown." I sneered back.

 

We get to kill him after all.

 

We can take care of the girl afterwards. I wonder if she'll beg us for death the same way he did.

 

They spread out slightly, and I saw immediately what they were doing. Slowly pushing me back into the alley where we couldn't be seen. So much easier to take care of everything without any of the people outside realizing it.

 

I didn't move an inch. I couldn't. I would not leave her, I would not let them take her. There was nothing else to do but stand and wait for death.

 

I had wished for it so passionately only minutes ago. And now I would do anything to hold it off. To have more time with her. I didn't want to die.

 

Well, this is just great. What have you gotten yourself into, Edward?

 

I heard the sarcastic question come at me from the opposite direction. I knew that voice anywhere. At the same time I heard the light tripping of her graceful feet. Dancing to us. Always dancing.

 

Felix and Demetri heard it, too. I could hear their low hisses as she came into view.

 

"Let's behave ourselves, shall we? There are ladies present."

 

Alice was at my side in that instant. Her eyes flashed to Bella briefly, then met mine for a long moment.

 

I thought I would never see you again.

 

I looked back at her and I nodded solemnly, remorsefully. She looked away from me, understanding, to the two guards standing by the mouth of the alley. I followed her gaze to see that they had straightened up and were looking at Alice with disgust and no small amount of displeasure.

 

What is this?

 

"We're not alone," Alice reminded them casually, motioning to the people just outside the alley who were watching us carefully. I could hear the woman's panicked thoughts as she registered my defensive stance, Bella's slight frame pressed against the wall behind me.

 

Demetri let some of his annoyance show through for a moment. "Please, Edward, let's be reasonable."

 

"Let's," I agreed, completely serious. "And we'll leave quietly now, with no one the wiser."

 

"At least let us discuss this more privately." Demetri's voice was angry now.

 

The police had joined the family who had been watching us. They were listening to the woman's concerns silently, every once in a while throwing a glance in our direction.

 

Again, I imagined it.

 

Her...in that place.

 

My jaw snapped shut in fury. "No."

 

"Enough."

 

I heard her voice at the same time I heard her thoughts, all focused on one thing: me. Jane stepped into the alley, her cloak billowing around her tiny frame. Her eyes were sharp and crimson and I heard her as her mind registered Bella's presence, Bella's scent.

 

She's going to take us, Edward. One way or another. Don't fight.

 

I heard Alice's thoughts confirming what I already knew.

 

I dropped my arms silently, relaxing the defensive crouch. That was everything, then. They would take me, take her, and now they would take Alice and that was all there was to it. No fighting, no struggle. Everything would just...end.

 

"Jane," I sighed her name.

 

"Follow me." Jane said, her face expressionless. She wasn't surprised by the lack of resistance she met. She always expected it, wherever she went.

 

Alice didn't hesitate. She stepped forward, ignoring Felix's smug grin, and walked after Jane silently.

 

I turned to Bella, then. Her body was still pressed up against the wall. Her heart was beating rapidly in her chest, her face was pale. When she saw my face turn to look at hers, her eyes immediately focused on me.

 

I couldn't get close enough to her, even now. I wrapped my arm around her waist lightly and I pulled her gently up against my side. She didn't resist me. Instead, she followed along beside me. Her eyes never left my face. I could see the confusion, the whirling questions bubbling to the surface.

 

God, I missed that.

 

I wanted nothing more in that moment than to ask her what she was thinking.

 

Instead, I shook my head at her slightly to keep her from talking. Felix and Demetri could hear us.

 

"Well, Alice," I said, keeping my voice conversational. As light and casual as I could, considering where we were going; considering the warm weight that I could feel pressed against my side. She's alive. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised to see you here."

 

Alice looked back at me briefly. "It was my mistake. It was my job to set it right." Her voice was just as carefree as mine.

 

Will you ever forgive me for this, Edward?

 

I shook my head minutely, as if to say "there's nothing to forgive". My fingers twitched around Bella's waist lightly, and I gripped a small piece of her shirt as tightly as I could. She didn't notice.

 

"What happened?" I asked. It was harder to make my voice sound casual. I could hear Felix and Demetri listen more carefully for Alice's answer.

 

"It's a long story." Alice looked at Bella for a moment, a slight scowl crossing her features. Then she looked back up at me. "In summary, she did jump off a cliff, but she wasn't trying to kill herself. Bella's all about extreme sports these days."

 

Her words were simple enough. But her mind was on other things. I couldn't keep the flashes of images all straight as I saw them.

 

 

Bella's face.

 

Sad and firm.

 

"Alice, I wasn't committing suicide."

 

 

Charlie looking hopeful.

 

"Ever since she started hanging out with Jacob Black, I've noticed some real improvement."

 

 

Bella biting her lip and looking apologetic.

 

Her hair was wet.

 

"Jacob is....strong."

 

 

"If it weren't for the werewolves, Victoria would have gotten me by now."

 

 

"He's not here. He's at the funeral."

 

 

"Edward won't call again. He believed her."

 

 

Alice stifled her memories at the look on my face and I felt my stomach clenching painfully.

 

It's okay now, Edward. She's okay.

 

Was she?

 

At the center of it all was Bella's face, her eyes sad and agonized, her face hollow and contorted in pain. The beautiful girl that I had left, wasting away. Dying because when I left, I had broken the very heart I had meant to save.

 

We reached the small opening in the back of the alley and Alice leapt into it without hesitating. I felt Bella stiffen beside me and stop moving, eyeing the blackness cautiously. It wasn't dark to me, I could see Alice waiting below, but I knew Bella wouldn't be able to see that.

 

"It's alright, Bella," I whispered into her ear, a thrill shooting through me when my lips came into contact with her skin. "Alice will catch you."

 

Her head turned so she was looking at me for the briefest second. Then she turned and crouched next to the hole slowly. She still trusted me.

 

"Alice?" Her voice was small and shaky. I wanted to wrap my arms around her. I could hear Demetri and Felix behind me, so I didn't move.

 

"I'm right here, Bella." Alice's voice drifted up from the opening, soft and inviting, meant to reassure Bella. I could see her small shoulders tense slightly again and she didn't respond.

 

I moved to her in an instant and wrapped my hands around her wrists. Her skin was so hot and soft and perfect under my fingers. Silently, I lowered her as her eyes snapped up to my face.

 

She was resolved and unwavering and nervous and she was looking at me in a way I couldn't understand. I felt my stomach tighten and I never wanted to let go of her.

 

And just like before, I let her fall.

 

 

Bella's eyes were panicked and desperate. She was going to break.

 

Pleading.

 

"Don't go, Alice. Please don't leave me."

 

 

I saw the memory flit through Alice's mind.

 

Then I was beside her, wrapping my arm around her again to hold her to me for as long as she would allow it. I could feel the heat of her pressing into the bare skin of my chest and I almost choked out a sob at the sensation of it.

 

I gently pulled her forward, towing her slowly beside me as we wove our way through the tunnel. I knew she couldn't see anything and I felt her stumbling as she tried to keep up. I tightened my grip on her and then most of her weight was on my arm and I was almost carrying her.

 

I could hear Demetri behind us, annoyed at how slow we were going. I could hear the curiosity raging in Felix's thoughts. And then there was Alice, thinking of anything except Bella. How much they had all missed me, what life for them was like when I wasn't there, Esme's tearless crying.

 

I ignored all of it.

 

I could only focus on one thing as we walked, and that was the small girl next to me. The silent warm at my side.

 

Her eyes were on the ground, her brow furrowed in concentration as she tried to keep from falling. The hand that she had wrapped around my waist was tight and gripping and dependent. I reached my own hand across to her face, ghosting my fingers over her forehead, her cheeks, her lips, savoring the feeling of silk on my hands.

 

I was never going to see her again and now she was here.

 

I could hear ever beat of her heart, feel every pulse of her blood. Her scent washed over every one of my senses. I couldn't resist the urge to lean down and bury my face in her hair, inhaling and pressing my lips to the top of her head.

 

Her breath hitched slightly and I felt her grip on me tighten slightly.

 

Her entire body was shaking and I knew it was because she was cold. I heard her teeth start to chatter and I thought it would kill me to let go of her.

 

I released her, grasping her hand tightly because I couldn't surrender the contact.

 

She was still looking straight ahead, but I saw her brows furrow and her jaw set. She stuttered a forceful protest and then she was throwing both her arms around my waist instead of one.

 

Terrified and unsure, this was our reunion and it was perfect.

 

When we reached the main building, I felt Bella relax under the light at the same time I tensed. I could feel the imminence crushing down on me, threatening to take everything away from me once more, in the very instant I got it back. Every step we took through the immaculately furnished rooms of the palace I felt it coming closer.

 

Down the elevator and past Gianna, walking until Alec joined us. Then he lead us into the large stone hall where several hours before I had begged them to kill me.

 

So much had changed since then.

 

 

Charlie leaning back in his chair, looking confused and heartbroken.

 

Coffee mug in front of him, forgotten.

 

"Not normal at all. Not like someone....left her, but like someone died."

 

 

Alice has slipped for a moment.

 

Every inch of me tensed as she caught her thoughts, pushing them back, and then we were in the main room and I didn't have time to recover.

 

I heard every thought, every pair of eyes turn to us as they heard us enter, as they smelled Bella's blood. I could feel the hunger and the control and all the battling within each and every one of them as they watched us closely.

 

Then Aro was moving forward and I wasn't going to be able to protect her anymore.

 

"Jane, dear one, you've returned!" he exclaimed happily, his voice light and jovial.

 

I quickly stole a glance at Bella. She wasn't relaxed, she had tensed again slightly, but she didn't look afraid. At least, not on the surface. She was appraising Aro's appearance calmly, as if trying to decide what she thought of him, her eyes filled with curiosity and respect. She knew he was different than Alice and I.

 

I watched as Aro drew himself to Jane and kissed her lightly, on her lips. I cringed slightly at the show of affection.

 

I remember first hearing about the Volturi and their guard, trying to understand the connection that linked them together. Were the guard their children? Their lovers? Their slaves?

 

I knew now, that muddled, hazy truth: they were all three.

 

I wonder how much of what was happening here Bella would pick up on.

 

Jane and Aro spoke softly, separated by a slight distance now. He was smiling at her and thinking about me. About Alice and I and the human girl at my side. I pulled her closer to me again. Her arms tightened around me, the length of her body pressed against my side. I could feel her from her ear on my shoulder all the way down to her legs crushed as close to me as possible.

 

At last, Aro turned to our small party and his face lit up immediately.

 

"And Alice and Bella, too! This is a happy surprise! Wonderful!"

 

I felt Bella draw away from me slightly, going rigid with confusion when she heard him speak her name with familiarity. Of course, she wouldn't understand how intimately he knew her. How he had seen everything of her that I had seen, mirrored in my thoughts over and over.

 

Aro quickly commanded Felix to go alert Marcus and Caius to our return and the large vampire obeyed without protest, his thoughts closed to me.

 

Then Aro turned back to me, his eyes kind and sympathetic and amused. "You see, Edward? What did I tell you? Aren't you glad I didn't give you what you wanted yesterday?"

 

I wanted to sneer at him and tell him I was still angry, that he still couldn't see. But it didn't matter anymore. There was no reason for anger, because she was here.

 

I tightened my grip as much as I could without bruising her and consented, "Yes, Aro, I am."

 

"Glad" wasn't really the word.

 

"I love a happy ending." Aro sighed wistfully, eyes flickering between the two of us. "They are so rare. But I want the whole story. How did this happen? Alice? Your brother seems to think you infallible, but apparently there was some mistake."

 

I stiffened as I heard his attention turn to Alice, to her sight, desire lacing every single one of his thoughts. He wanted her. He wanted what she had.

 

I could see by the way her fists were balled tightly that she knew it, too.

 

She was relaxed, calm and smiling, when she replied, "Oh, I'm far from infallible. As you can see today, I cause problems as often as I cure them."

 

"You're too modest." Aro's eyes sparked and danced with delight. "I've seen some of your more amazing exploits, and I must admit I've never observed anything like your talent. Wonderful!"

 

What is he talking about, Edward? What did you tell him?

 

Alice's eyes were on me, then. I didn't look back, keeping my gaze fixed intently on Aro, focusing in on his thoughts.

 

"I'm sorry." Aro chuckled with a wave of his hand. He had seen Alice's surprised glance in my direction and he knew her question without having to ask. "We haven't been introduced properly at all, have we? It's just that I feel like I know you already, and I tend to get ahead of myself. Your brother introduced us yesterday, in a peculiar way. You see, I share some of your brother's talent, only I am limited in a way he is not."

 

I could hear the envy in his tone.

 

"And also exponentially more powerful," I remarked truthfully. I looked at Alice briefly. "Aro needs physical contact to hear your thoughts, but he hears much more than I do. You know I can only hear what's passing through your head in the moment. Aro hears every thought your mind ever had."

 

It was a dangerous talent, but it was also the reason I was sure he would help me. When he heard about Bella, of course he would help me. I had been wrong because I hadn't understood him then. Hadn't understood how his thoughts worked. How much he wanted me.

 

Alice raised her eyebrows.

 

Frightening, she remarked.

 

I nodded my head once and Aro saw it.

 

"But to be able to hear from a distance..." He sighed, gesturing between us and our wordless exchange. "That would be so convenient."

 

Without waiting for a reply, Aro looked past us and I whipped my head around quickly as I heard the thoughts of Caius and Marcus enter my consciousness. They strode into the room with Felix, their faces completely empty.

 

Bella twisted in my arms to watch their entrance as well. She shrunk against me slightly when she saw them, but she didn't look at me for comfort or answers.

 

"Marcus, Caius, look!" Aro smiled at his brothers. "Bella is alive after all, and Alice is here with her! Isn't that wonderful?"

 

I could hear the curiosity in their thoughts, with none of Aro's enthusiasm. They didn't care one way or the other what had happened, what confusion. I knew they were here simply to bide their time until we got to the main event: the trial.

 

"Let us have the story," Aro demanded, his voice kind and excited.

 

I watched as the other two brothers slowly made their way back to their seats to wait. Marcus stopped next to Aro momentarily and touched the palm of his hand.

 

The two vampires are as bonded as any of the guard are to us. I've never seen something so familial between any two of our kind. Very odd.

 

I could hear the slight surprised in Marcus' tone, but he didn't dwell on it for long. Relay information and stand aside. He made his way over to Caius without a second thought while Aro pondered the new information, muttering under his breath.

 

Alice looked at me, frustrated slightly.

 

What was that?

 

"Marcus sees relationships. He's surprised by the intensity of ours." My voice was low and quiet my eyes were soft when I looked at my sister.

 

Aro smiled to himself and shook his head. "So convenient." Then he turned to us, his eyes fixing on Bella good-naturedly. "It takes quite a bit to surprise Marcus, I can assure you."

 

I felt Bella's head turn to look at Marcus. I saw her lips twitch at the corners as she registered the blank, unsurprised expression on Marcus' face. I fought a smile of my own. She was fearless.

 

"It's just so difficult to understand, even now," Aro said, tapping one pale, narrow finger against his chin thoughtfully. His eyes wandered to my arm, which was wrapped tightly around Bella's shoulder, her own clinging to my waist. "How can you stand so close to her like that?"

 

"It's not without effort," I replied, keeping my voice calm. It was true and not true. Right now, standing beside her was the most effortless thing I had ever done.

 

"But still - la tua cantante! What a waste!" He moaned, remembering her blood through my memories.

 

I laughed humorlessly. "I look at it more as a price."

 

One that I am willing to pay for the rest of her life.

 

"A very high price."

 

"Opportunity cost," I shot back. He wasn't going to understand. He had seen everything that had been in my head, everything she meant to me, and he still didn't get it. There was nothing I could say that would explain it. It was simply...ours.

 

Aro laughed. "If I hadn't smelled her through your memories, I wouldn't have believed the call of anyone's blood could be so strong. I've never felt anything like it myself. Most of us would trade much for such a gift, and yet you..."

 

He trailed off with a smile.

 

"Waste it," I finished for him, unable to keep the bitterness and sarcasm out of my voice. He had no idea.

 

Again, Aro laughed at me. "Ah, how I miss my friend Carlisle!" I started slightly at the mention of my father's name, but said nothing. "You remind me of him - only he was not so angry."

 

I smiled ruefully, agreeing, "Carlisle outshines me in many other ways as well."

 

"I certainly never thought to see Carlisle bested for self-control of all things, but you put him to shame," Aro mused, smile still fixed firmly in place.

 

"Hardly," I scoffed, impatience coloring my voice. Enough of this. He had seen my killing spree, he had felt how close I had been to killing Bella over and over. This was all just preliminary talk and I couldn't bear it.

 

Not with her here.

 

"I am gratified by his success," Aro continued, oblivious to my tension. "Your memories of him are quite a gift for me, though they astonish me exceedingly. I am surprised by how it...pleases me, his success in this unorthodox path he's chosen. I expected that he would waste, weaken with time. I scoffed at his plan to find others who would share his peculiar vision. Yet, somehow, I'm happy to be wrong."

 

He was telling the truth.

 

I said nothing.

 

"But your restraint!" Aro sighed. He wasn't complimenting me. Not exactly. "I did not know such strength was possible. To inure yourself against such a siren call, not just once but again and again - if I had not felt it for myself, I would not have believed."

 

It was just one more reason he wanted me.

 

I kept my face carefully expressionless as I looked at him. I could feel Bella's eyes on me for a moment, her breathing calm and even. I kept my eyes on Aro, though.

 

"Just remembering how she appeals to you..." Aro laughed slightly and I could hear the bloodlust passing through his thoughts. "It makes me thirsty."

 

I knew he meant nothing by it, not really. Still, my body tensed automatically, shifting so that Bella was behind me slightly.

 

"Don't be disturbed," Aro told me, his smile fading a little, his eyes growing concerned. "I mean her no harm. But I am so curious, about one thing in particular."

 

I wonder if I can hear her.

 

I took every ounce of self-control I had not allow the deep growl in my throat to escape. I couldn't.

 

"May I?" Aro asked, lifting his hand, his eyes sparkling and excited and fixed directly on me.

 

"Ask her," I snapped, my voice as flat and emotionless as I could keep it.

 

He wanted to touch her.

 

"Of course, how rude of me!" Aro exclaimed with a wide smile. "Bella," he turned to her now, "I'm fascinated that you are the one exception to Edward's impressive talent - so very interesting that such a thing should occur! And I was wondering, since our talents are similar in many ways, if you would be so kind as to allow me to try - to see if you are an exception for me, as well?"

 

Bella looked at me suddenly, her eyes flashing up to my face, filled with fear and apprehension. I could see the thoughts whirling behind her eyes, and I knew that she understood there was really no choice in the matter.

 

I nodded to her, to reassure her. Aro wouldn't hurt her, that much I was still certain. I had to continue to tell myself that as she turned back to Aro and raised her small, delicate hand. I could see it trembling slightly as she held it out in front of her.

 

Aro smiled at her kindly and moved forward, closing the gap between them. When he reached out to take her hand, I felt my fingers twitch against her waist, and my right hand balled into a fist at my side.

 

He was surprised at the warmth.

 

Then I could hear him straining to hear it, pushing his gift at her as I had tried to do so many times before him.

 

Nothing.

 

It was the same for him as it was for me. Only silence.

 

"So very interesting," he murmured, smiling at her kindly and then drifting back towards his brothers.

 

Bella looked up at me curiously, as if looking for approval. I kept my face completely impassive, struggling not to smile. Or kiss her.

 

Fearless.

 

I was still paying attention only to her when Aro's words broke me out of my revere. His thoughts running into me like a freight train.

 

"I wonder if she is immune to our other talents....Jane, dear?"

 

"No!" I growled out savagely, knowing what Aro wanted immediately. I felt Alice's hand on my arm, trying to calm me, but I shook her off.

 

I watched with horror as Jane smiled up at Aro, happily. "Yes, Master?"

 

Growls were ripping out of my chest uncontrollably as I heard the intentions of their thoughts, of the pain they meant to put Bella through. A little science experiment. I could hear all the other vampires around me, in shock over my audacity.

 

It wasn't fucking audacity.

 

I simply couldn't control the fury building inside me. They couldn't do this to her. She hadn't done anything to them. She was innocent and delicate and she was human. The pain was unbearable for vampires, it could kill her; drive her insane. And not a single one of them cared at all.

 

Aro continued as if he couldn't hear my warning growls. "I was wondering, my dear one, if Bella is immune to you." He had nothing to fear from me and he knew it.

 

I knew it, too.

 

I released my hold on Bella and pushed her behind me, so that I was completely blocking her from their view. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Caius move forward to watch, curiosity in his thoughts. I snarled in his direction once. He didn't notice.

 

Upon Aro's request, Jane turned towards me, towards Bella behind me, her face innocent and smiling.

 

"Don't!" I heard Alice's voice at the same time that I launched myself at the small vampire. If I could just get to her before...

 

The fire ripped through me, through every inch of my body. White hot pokers shoving into every pore, my muscles rigid with pain. I was on the floor, I was aware of my body writhing, moving, but I couldn't feel the stone on my skin or the air around me. The searing agony of being flayed alive, burning inside my own head.

 

Then it stopped.

 

I felt every single muscle in my body relax for mere seconds, and then I was struggling to stand, my eyes locking on Bella immediately.

 

She was wrapped in Alice's arms tightly, straining towards me, her eyes wild with panic and fear and worry. I heard Alice whispering comfortingly in her ear, trying to calm her as she fought pointlessly against my sister's stone arms to get to me.

 

I was on my feet in an instant, filled immediately with horror as my eyes locked with hers. I waited for the pain to begin.

 

She stared back at me.

 

My eyes flickered to Jane. She was glaring at Bella, her jaw clenched, clearing pushing her gift out with incredible focus.

 

Nothing.

 

I looked back at Bella. She was fine.

 

In an instant I was back at her side, touching Alice's arm gently. With a small smile and a nod, Alice released her and then she was in my arms again. Warm and safe and perfect.

 

Aro began to laugh, honestly amused now. "This is wonderful!"

 

Jane hissed in annoyance.

 

"Don't be put out, dear one," Aro said with a smirk, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder. "She confounds us all."

 

Jane wasn't comforted.

 

Aro turned to me again, smiling and still chuckling slightly. "You're very brave, Edward, to endure in silence. I asked Jane to do that to me once - just out of curiosity."

 

Again, he praised me. I couldn't stand this.

 

Aro sighed when I glared back at him, not bothering to mask my contempt. "So what do we do with you now?"

 

I stiffened, and I felt Alice's similar reaction beside me.

 

This was it.

 

"I don't suppose there's any chance you've changed your mind?" Aro asked me, his eyes lighting with hope. "Your talent would be an excellent addition to our little company."

 

I hesitated.

 

I couldn't be rude, I wasn't even sure that I still had the choice. Still, I wouldn't agree to it. I couldn't.

 

"I'd...rather...not," I said slowly, deliberately.

 

Aro studied me for no more than a second. He was disappointed, but he had been expecting my answer. And he accepted it, I realized with relief.

 

Then he turned to Alice.

 

"Alice? Would you perhaps be interested in joining with us?" he offered, smiling enticingly. He wasn't going to give up.

 

In spite of the way he presented himself, I loathed Aro much more than either of his two sullen brothers. He was all smiling and friendliness and manners. But if you took that away, if you saw what he really was, it was horrifying; the way he worked those intergenerational lines from every angle, out of his own sickness.

 

The thing he wanted from his Guard, the thing he wanted from Alice and I, no one should ever want.

 

"No, thank you," Alice declined politely and immediately, not even pausing to think about it.

 

"And you, Bella?"

 

What?

 

His question caught me completely off guard, only thinking of it the moment he asked it. I hissed in response without even realizing that I was.

 

Bella didn't move. Or speak.

 

"What?" Caius' voice cracked like a whip into the silence, echoing my own incredulous question.

 

"Caius, surely you see the potential," Aro chided him affectionately. "I haven't seen a prospective talent so promising since we found Jane and Alec. Can you imagine the possibilities when she is one of us?"

 

This wasn't happening.

 

I felt the fury rising in my chest again, building towards a growl.

 

"No, thank you."

 

Immediately I calmed at the sound of her voice, soothing and washing over me. It was barely more than a whisper, and I could hear it crack with fear, but she had refused them. Of course she had refused them. She wasn't still harboring the insane desire to become one of us.

 

Aro sighed at her answer. "That's unfortunate. Such a waste."

 

The second time he had called Bella a waste.

 

"Join or die, is that it?" I hissed, unable to contain myself. "I suspected as much when we were brought to this room. So much for your laws."

 

I deliberately threw in the jab about their laws, knowing if there was any way to make them falter, it would be to mention the very foundation with which they maintained power. Without it, everything they had could crumble out from under them.

 

It was the only leverage we had.

 

"Of course not," Aro said, his eyes widening slightly with surprise. "We were already convened here, Edward, awaiting Heidi's return. Not for you."

 

As soon as I felt the stirrings of hope in my chest, Caius hissed lowly, "Aro, the law claims them."

 

"How so?" I demanded quickly.

 

Caius glared at me for a moment, knowing I could hear his thoughts and knowing why I was forcing him to speak them aloud. Then he pointed condemningly towards Bella. "She knows too much. You have exposed our secrets."

 

"There are a few humans in on your charade here, as well," I shot back. Their laws left room for no exceptions.

 

"Yes." Caius' face twisted into a disturbing, calm smile. "But when they are no longer useful to us, they will serve to sustain us. That is not your plan for this one. If she betrays our secrets, are you prepared to destroy her? I think not."

 

Bella leaned forward slightly in my arms, towards Caius. "I wouldn't -" she started to say, but stopped immediately when Caius shot her an icy look.

 

"Nor do you intend to make her one of us," Caius went on, ignoring Bella's attempt at assurance. "Therefore, she is a vulnerability. Thought it is true, for this, only her life is forfeit. You may leave if you wish."

 

I bared my teeth.

 

He knew I wouldn't leave. He knew it and he was pleased about it. I was an annoyance, an irritation, and he didn't understand me. He wanted be gone as much as he did Bella and he knew the surest way to get that was to take her from me. We were connected.

 

"That's what I thought." Caius smile slightly at my hostile response.

 

"Unless..." Aro interrupted and Caius' eyes slid, annoyed again, to his brother. "Unless you do intend to give her immortality."

 

He didn't like the way the conversation was going, didn't like the idea of losing the three of us. He had seen in my mind, he knew of my resolve to keep her unchanged, and yet he was hopeful.

 

Change your mind, Edward. It could save both of your lives.

 

I hesitated, looking Aro directly in the eye. He blinked back at me calmly. "And if I do?" I asked him, my voice very quiet.

 

Aro smiled. "Why, then you would be free to go home and give my regards to my friend Carlisle." Then he paused and looked at Bella, then back at me. "But I'm afraid you would have to mean it."

 

They were his rules, too.

 

Aro raised his hand towards me, towards the proof he needed to let us all live. Could I give it to him? Could I really, truly change her? Take her life, her soul, condemn her to the life of a monster? She would hate me for it, and it would kill me.

 

I looked down at Bella to find her staring up at me, her eyes wide. I kept my face impassive, my lips tightening into a thin line. I couldn't speak and she was staring at me.

 

"Mean it," she whispered and I could see her eyes shining with feeling. "Please."

 

I felt someone had taken a sledgehammer to my chest as she looked at me, her eyes imploring and sad, the hint of her whispered plea hanging in the air between us.

 

She didn't want this. She couldn't.

 

Before I could answer, I felt Alice move past me, towards Aro. I tore my eyes away from Bella's to watch as my sister stepped fearlessly to Volturi, her hand held confidently in front of her.

 

I saw Aro's eyes flicker with barely contained excitement and he met he halfway, his arm outstretched eagerly, taking her hand with enthusiasm.

 

I couldn't block it out.

 

I saw our life, I saw myself and Carlisle and Emmett and Esme and Rosalie. Jasper more than anyone else. I saw Bella laughing; grumbling in a clothing store; wincing as her hair was yanked into an elaborate weave. And then I saw blood.

 

 

Carlisle standing beside Alice.

 

Bella lying in my room, on a bed that wasn't mine.

 

Alice leaning over her, smoothing her hair out of her eyes.

 

"Are you ready?"

 

Bella nervous and frightened and sad.

 

"Yes."

 

"He'll come back. He just needs time."

 

Bella sighing weakly.

 

"I know."

 

Carlisle reaching out to grip her hand.

 

Tears running in tracks down her cheeks.

 

"Why doesn't he want this like I do?"

 

She wanted forever.

 

So did I.

 

Alice bending over and sinking her teeth lightly into Bella's neck.

 

 

Alice pulled her hand away from Aro as he began to laugh. "That was fascinating!" he exclaimed, looking at Alice happily.

 

Alice's smile was dry and flat. "I'm glad you enjoyed it."

 

I didn't like that, she told me silently.

 

"To see the things you've seen - especially the ones that haven't happened yet!" Aro shook his head, wonder evident in his voice. Both Caius and Marcus looked truly curious now.

 

"But that will," she assured him, her voice quiet and even.

 

"Yes, yes, it's quite determined. Certainly there's no problem." Aro waved his hand airily at her comment.

 

"Aro," Caius began. I could hear the disappointment in his voice mirrored in his thoughts. He wasn't convinced.

 

"Dear Caius," Aro cut him off, easily, pleasantly. "Do not fret. Think of the possibilities! They do not join us today, but we can always hope for the future. Imagine the joy young Alice alone would bring to our little household...Besides, I'm so terribly curious to see how Bella turns out!"

 

The breath I didn't need hitched in my throat. They were going to let us go.

 

I would have plenty of time to think of a way to keep Bella human. I could still save her life, still be happy with her until she died. We were together again and I would keep her safe and we could survive this.

 

"Then we are free to go now?" I asked, keeping my voice very even, not daring to hope. I waited for Aro's answer with baited breath.

 

"Yes, yes," Aro said with another wide smile. "But please visit again. It's been absolutely enthralling!"

 

"And we will visit you as well," Caius added, his tone dark and suspicious. "To be sure you follow through on your side. Were I you, I would not delay too long. We do not offer second chances."

 

Don't try to run, Edward. And don't try to outsmart us. It can't be done and then all of you will die.

 

I felt my jaw tighten at Caius' unspoken warning and I nodded once.

 

I heard Felix groan from across the room and suddenly I was aware of the faint, nervous, twittering thoughts coming from outside the room.

 

I barely heard Aro confirm my fears, that Heidi was on her way. I was too focused on the thoughts of all the people, on Bella warm and safe and confused at my side.

 

Oh, God.

 

Quickly I asked permission to leave and Aro granted it. He took Felix's cloak and handed it to me. I was barely paying attention. The thoughts were louder now. I could hear their footsteps.

 

So could the rest of them.

 

I heard every thought in the room shift, becoming less controlled, less composed. They were getting eager, excited. They could smell Bella's blood in anticipation of their meal. I could hear them wanting her.

 

And she simply stood there, unmoving and lost and perfect.

 

And alive.

 

* * *

You must login (register) to review.




Share/Save/Bookmark


© 2008, 2009 Twilighted Enterprises, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Unauthorized duplication is a violation of applicable laws.
Privacy Policy | Terms of Service

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the intellectual property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.