“Jacob!”  I exclaimed.  

Edward released me and nodded his silent appreciation toward my best friend.  “I’m pleased that you decided to come,” he said genuinely.  

“I didn’t do it to please you.”  Jacob’s tone was cold, but there was no challenge in the words.   

Edward nodded.  “I know,” he said, and brushed his fingers lovingly through my hair.  “You still have my gratitude.  Thank you.” 

Jacob’s expression was solid—emotionless as he looked down at me and his eyes melted into a grin that seemed more like defeat than happiness.  “Looks like I missed something important,” he said. 

My smile could not have been more opposite his.  It widened impossibly as I flung my arms around his shoulders, the white lilies of my bouquet smashing into the back of his head and filling his hair with petals.   “You came right on time!”  I laughed into his lapel. “They’re just about to bring out the food!” He chuckled quietly. 

“It’s about time!”  Emmett interrupted as he passed us, punching Edward again on his way toward the receiving line.  Rosalie was on his other arm, stealing all of the light from the room as usual.  “I’m starving!”   

Jacob snarled.  I glared at Emmett, and hugged Jacob tighter until he passed.  He hugged me back awkwardly.  “Easy, Bells,” he sighed, pulling his head down to avoid the shower of baby’s breath that was falling from my broken bouquet.  “You know you have to throw that later.”  Then he looked up at the line of smiling people that was beginning to form at the doors, waiting to receive Edward and me.  “Looks like your duties as a bride aren’t over quite yet.” I looked back at Edward, who was waiting patiently, whispering something unintelligible to Jasper. 

“Will you stay for the reception?” I asked. “Sure,” he reassured me, releasing me from the hug.  “That’s what I came here for.” My grin reflected in his dark eyes as I turned to my stunning groom, but Jacob grabbed my hand. “You’re really beautiful today, Bella,” he whispered, his voice seeming to shake.  “I can’t find the words.”     

“There are no words,” came the smooth reply from behind me.  Edward’s arms slipped around my shoulders and I heard his slow breath as he took in the scent of my hair.  As usual, I blushed crimson.  “You would have to invent an entirely new canon to describe the level of magnificence that you present at this moment.” 

Jacob flinched.  A moment of intentional silence passed between the two of them, and I noticed that the crowd was getting larger.  A few guests were looking impatiently in their direction.  Then Edward nodded.   

“Of course,” he said, responding to thoughts instead of words.  “You two will have all of the time that you want when the reception begins.  It seems like a conversation that you both need very much.” 

Edward’s face was earnest, his stance relaxed.  I stared up at Jacob puzzled.  A half-smile played at his lips as he met my insistent gaze, but said nothing.  Edward wound his fingers between my own, and started toward the head of the line. “Join us, please, Jacob,” he added.  “You were, after all, Bella’s choice for best man.” 

Jacob held back, looking too much like he was about to back out.  I cut in quickly.  “Come on, Jake!  You know most of the people here anyway!” Reluctantly, he followed us, placing himself timidly between me and Seth in the line.  The people began to pass by in a blur of handshakes, hugs, and congratulations.  Carlisle and Esme passed first, Esme pulling me into a hug that was so tight, it forced the breath out of me. 

“Oh Bella, we are so happy that you are finally an official member of our family!” she said, exuberant. 

Renee, Phil, and Charlie were close behind.  Charlie seemed ecstatic to see Jacob in his proper place in the wedding party.  He clapped him heartily on the shoulder and pulled him out of line. 

“Good to see you Jake!” he boomed.  “We’d thought you’d gotten yourself into a bit of trouble there for a few months.  Nice to see that you’re back in Forks.” 

Jacob looked awkward.  “No trouble Charlie…just wanderlust, I guess.”  He looked like he wanted to say more, but he closed his mouth.   

Renee put her hand on Edward’s shoulder, an act that both men seemed to be too uneasy to do, and smiled her carefree smile.  “Edward, you’ve got a great family, but we’re very glad to have you to add to our strange little coven too.” 

Edward’s lips twitched, and I stifled a laugh.  “Thank you very much, Renee,” he managed as my parents moved on.   

Leah let out a hiss as she passed by Edward without shaking his hand, and took mine only half-heartedly, eyes focused on her prodigal pack member instead.  True to Edward’s word, Mike’s mother mentioned the quality of my dress four times before Mr. Weber gently nudged her on and took his turn, shaking each hand firmly and hugging his daughter on his way out.  I was wondering what the humans in Forks were thinking of Edward and Jasper’s cold hands when a high musical voice startled me. 

“Edward!” it sang, and I cringed, imagining the waist length strawberry blond hair and perfectly slender form that accompanied it.  “What a beautiful ceremony!  It is such a pleasure to see you again, and under such happy circumstances!” 

She was every bit as flawless as I had feared, with strange wild mannerisms and an intense look in her light honey eyes.  I backed up, not wanting to give Edward a chance to compare us and realize the horrible mistake he was making.  He took my arm and pulled me to him.   

“Tanya, Kate…this is my wife Bella.” 

Wife.  I blushed and mumbled something that might sound like a greeting.  The color in my cheeks seemed to draw a reaction from the beautiful couple behind them.  They both let out a light, natural series of notes that must have been laughter, but seemed more like melody. 

“A truly blushing bride!” the woman said in a trilling Spanish accent.  “She’s absolutely exquisite, Edward!”  Then she turned to me and offered her hand.  “I’m Carmen, child.  This is Eleazar.  We are so pleased to meet you!” 

“Me too…” I said weakly, feeling utterly intimidated in the face of all this beauty. 

Carmen laughed again. “I’m so very sorry that our other daughter couldn’t come…” she began, but Tanya finished. 

“She’s allergic to dogs,” she said bitterly, staring over at Jacob and Seth.  They both growled under their breath and Edward had to grab Jacob’s shoulder as he took an instinctive step toward the vampire in front of me.  

Edward turned to Tanya, eyes smoldering. “Those dogs came to our aid when even our own family had refused,” he hissed between clenched teeth.  “Bella is alive today because of them.  I owe them everything.  They are our friends, so I must ask you to please be civil to them while you are here, Tanya.” 

The tension was only visible to those in our little circle.  Then Tanya smiled a horribly fake smile and moved on.   

“I am very sorry,”  Edward apologized to Jacob and Seth.  “I hadn’t taken into account the animosity that Tanya must also feel.  I had no idea.”   

Neither Seth nor Jacob responded, but both seemed to look like they no longer wanted to be there.  After that, I had trouble paying attention to anyone passing by. 

“Thank you so much for coming, Jake.  You have no idea how horrible I’ve felt imagining you off somewhere hurt, or alone, or…” I broke off.  Jacob was laughing at me. 

“Bella, I can’t really get hurt,” he chuckled, then his face became more serious.  “And I’m never alone.  You know that.” 

“I do, but you get mad at me when I try to use that method of communication.” 

Another chuckle.  We moved slowly away from the crowds of people gathered around silk covered tables full of food, out of the shimmering light provided by the millions of white Christmas bulbs that Alice had nearly killed herself—if that were possible—putting up, and into the relative privacy of the cedars. 

I glanced quickly back at Edward, who had graciously promised not to listen to neither thoughts nor words.  He met my gaze, nodded, and then turned his attention to Emmett and Jasper, who were laughing at Rosalie as she tried to gracefully refuse the food that Charlie was forcing on her.   It suddenly occurred to me that Emmett and Jasper had made no promise not to listen…and Edward was such a fan of technicalities.  I scowled.  He would have already picked everything out of Jacob’s head before anyway.   

“So, where have you been, Jake?”  I began harmlessly. 

He shrugged his massive shoulders.  “Here and there.  Up north mostly…hanging out with the timberwolves.”  He smiled, but it did not reach his eyes.  It wasn’t the smile that I had been waiting to see.  “I’ve been running a lot…running and thinking almost constantly.”  He looked off into the darkness.  His eyes were bleak.  “Bella, I came back to tell you goodbye.  I realized that I didn’t do that before I left the first time.” 

“The first time?” I frowned.  “Jake, are you leaving again?” 

He nodded.  “Tonight.” 

“No!  You have to say hi to Charlie…and you haven’t even seen your dad yet!”  This was getting annoying—all this appearing and disappearing.  I crossed my arms over my chest. 

Jacob laughed. “You look just like a little girl not getting her way!”  He pulled my arms away gently and hugged me.  “I’ll stop by and say hello to Billy on my way out, and I already talked to Charlie.” 

“But Jake, you just got here!  Stay a little while!  A night or two at least!” 

His jaw clenched.  “Where will you be in a night or two, Bella?” 

I looked down at the ground.  I had no idea how to answer that.  Edward had been very careful to hide every single detail of our honeymoon from me.  All I knew was that I would be lying somewhere isolated with the man of my dreams, hopefully enjoying my last human request.  A smirk appeared accidentally on my face.  A grimace appeared on Jacob’s. 

“Oh, Jake, I’m sorry,” I attempted, but he brushed me away. 

“Don’t be, Bella.  You made your choice, and as much as it kills me to admit it…he’s OK.”  And I could see that it actually caused him physical pain to say it.  “I know him now…enough to not be able to hate him, and you have to understand how much I want to hate him.  But I can’t, even for what he is.  He’s…he’s…” he swallowed hard.  “He’s good, I suppose.”  I smiled, but he quickly added, “For a bloodsucker.”  I sighed. 

“Jake…” 

“No, just don’t say anything yet, please Bells,” he demanded.  His face was indecipherable.  “Just let me get this out, OK?” 

“OK,” I complied. 

He took a deep, slow breath and began again. “While I was running, I was thinking about how stupid I was…how selfish to be in love with you, and to want you to love me back, when I could find that girl that I’m supposed to be with, and imprint on her at any moment.  Where would that leave you?” 

The question wasn’t meant to be answered, so I stood quietly and waited for him to go on.  He was looking back at the party, watching as Alice and Jasper spun across the dance floor.  Emmett and Edward were still deep in conversation. 

“I tried to make it you,” Jacob continued solemnly.  “It’s just not something you can force, you know?  So I guess I won’t be able to keep that promise I made to you after all.  One day, I’ll find someone who’ll make me forget all about you and how much I love you—I really love you, Bella!” 

“I love you too, Jake…”  But it wasn’t the same.  The center of my world had shifted completely and irreversibly…had gravitated to the pallid angel who stood wrapped in the light of our wedding reception.  I felt his pull with every fiber of my being, and Jake saw that as clearly as he saw the pain on my face at the realization.  He nodded silently, biting his bottom lip, seemingly afraid to continue. 

“I don’t want you to say anything.  I don’t want to hear anything about it.”  His determined tone worried me.  I looked up at him, obediently silent.  “I’ve also been trying to…understand.  To think about the decision you’re going to make from your point of view.”  His face wrinkled in what could have been concentration or disgust, and he folded his arms around his enormous frame. 

“You’re…you’re dying for someone you love.  That’s not exactly it, but it’s the only way I can stomach it…and I guess I’m going to have to stomach it.”  His voice was hard as her reached the last words.  I opened my mouth to respond. 

“Don’t!” he stopped the words before they could confirm his fears.  “I don’t want to know.  I just want to say that if it’s like that…dying for someone you love, then I think I would do it too.” 

Shocked silence.  I couldn’t even begin to understand how much this conversation had to be hurting my best friend.  I reached my arm out and touched his cheek.  He moved away, but I saw how reluctant those movements were. 

“I would die for someone I love,” he pushed on.  “I would die for you, so I guess I can’t blame you for wanting to do what you are going to do, but everything inside me…my heart…my whole mind…all of the instincts that come with the werewolf package…they hate what you’re going to be Bella!  I can’t be here to watch that blush fade from your cheeks and watch you turn cold and…die.  I can’t see you like that!” 

His breath was coming in rapid bursts now, but it wasn’t anger that colored his face.  He stared up at me intensely, and I knew that this was goodbye.  My best friend was leaving, probably for good, and there was not one thing that I could find inside my head to say…not one word of comfort, or anything at all to make him stay.  The tears came freely though.   

“You chose him…that ring on your finger proves it, and that’s why I can’t stay here anymore.  I can’t sit by and watch you die.  Your bloodsucker has had a century to learn how to control himself and even he wouldn’t be able to just sit back and watch while you killed yourself.”  His body suddenly shimmered, his fists clenched, and I took a few cautious steps backwards. 

“Jacob?”  I asked.  No other words would come. 

He closed his eyes and breathed deeply.  The shimmering stopped in his upper body, ran slowly down through his legs, and then he was still. 

“I’m going north, again, Bella,”  he said, his eyes still closed tight.  “I’m going in search of whatever it is I need to bring back to protect the tribe.  I’m not going to think of you anymore.” 

And when he opened his eyes, they did not search for me.  They forged through the darkness and into the lighted area where my new husband now sat with Kate and Tanya, his eyes darting anxiously toward our position.  The two boys locked eyes for a moment, and I saw Edward’s teeth come together…almost heard the snap in the distance.  He winced and closed his eyes.  I glared over at Jacob. 

“Stop it!”  I yelled, and Tanya and Kate’s heads snapped up frighteningly quickly.  Edward put out a restraining hand.  He stared Jacob down, and gave him the slightest shake of his beautiful bronze head. 

“Never,”  he said, not loud enough for me to hear.  I read his lips.  Tanya was rising to her feet despite Edward’s insistence.  He rose with her and held her back. 

“That dog was causing you pain?” she said malevolently, shooting daggers at Jacob.  “You let them cause you pain!?”  

Edward forced her to sit down again.  She was still snarling.  I moved in between her and Jacob. 

“Goodbye Bella.  I love you.”  Jacob’s voice came from behind me now.  I turned to tell him that I love him too. 

But he was gone.