Sam had left me a long time ago. I had loved him, and he’d ditched me like trash. He’d promised me forever, and left me broken.
I was used to it, now. Now the pain was just a dull punch to my heart when I saw Sam. The pain was worse when he was with Emily, but I couldn’t make myself angry with her for what Sam had done. She was my cousin, and I loved her, even if she had stolen the love of my life, and she was the one least to blame for the whole mess. I couldn’t really blame Sam either, now that I knew why he’d left me.
But I couldn’t carry so much pain inside myself. So I lashed out, becoming bitter and angry. I heard what Sam thought, and knew he was sad that he’d done this to me. It gave me vicious satisfaction that he was suffering for what he’d done.
Still, I was becoming better. Since I joined Jake’s pack, I wasn’t forced to mingle with Sam and Emily. I didn’t even have to talk to them if I didn’t want to. I had gotten into a meditation class that helped me deal with my anger, and I’d stopped snapping at everyone who tried to talk to me. I was in college, now that I’d gotten my phasing under control.
Even so, sometimes the pain came upon me unexpectedly, pouncing like a wildcat. A taste, a scent, a sight, or a sound could cause the loss to consume me all over again.
I was very happy that night. I’d just bought a new car, so I could go wherever I wanted without having to phase and listen to Seth, Jacob, Quil, and Embry the whole time. That little bit of freedom felt like I’d grown wings. Even just driving down a lane near my community college was a small victory that made me rejoice.
I played with the radio, trying to find a channel. There wasn’t much selection, so I settled on a country station.
The old song ended and a new one began to play. A nasally announcer said it was called 'You Were Mine' by the Dixie Chicks.
I can’t find a reason to let go
Even though you’ve found a new love
And she’s what your dreams are made of.
I can find a reason to hang on
What went wrong can be forgiven
Without you, it ain’t worth living alone.
My foot unconsciously slammed against the brake, and the car shuddered to a stop. I’d seen that idiot Bella cling to her midsection whenever she thought of Edward during the time he’d left her, and I’d always thought she was weak. But if there was one thing I knew, it was that I was not weak. I was a wolf, for goodness sakes! But hearing my own thoughts sung out so clearly was like a coal buried in my heart, burning a hole from the inside out.
Sometimes I wake up crying at night
And sometimes I scream out your name
What right does she have to take your heart away
When for so long you were mine?
Memories of the nightmares I’d had, where Sam had left me again and again, surfaced. Those times where all I could do was sob out his name, like he could hear and would come back. The shock and horror when I realized he was dating Emily. The confusion. The rejection. The pain. I’d wanted to scream, accuse him, but I couldn’t. I felt like a beaten animal, hiding from the person that had abused it.
The song continued to play, but I ceased to hear it. All I could hear was the beat of my broken heart, the heart that had never really mended, and my sobs, the tears that had never really stopped flowing.
At the end of the song I finally managed to quiet my tears, just in time to hear:
I remember when you were mine.
If only I could forget! But I would never forget. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, but I was the only girl wolf in history. I didn’t even know if I could imprint, so I would probably spend my whole life wishing for a love that was never meant to be.
There was a tapping noise at my window.
I looked up, and my world broke.
Not broken. Remade. All the ties that bound me to life were instantly snapped, and wound around a new center. Something new was the core of who I was. Something like love.
I rolled down my window, and a man leaned into my car. He had a strong jaw, a perfectly sculpted nose, deep brown eyes, dark velvet skin, and slightly overlong black hair.
“Are you alright, ma’am?” His brow furrowed in concern. “You just stopped in the middle of the road.”
I stared into the face of my imprint, and the answer came with conviction. “Yes. I’m alright now.” I scrubbed away the traces of my tears. There was no reason for tears anymore.
He smiled shyly. “What’s your name?”
“Leah Clearwater,” I replied. “What’s yours?”
“Aiden Monroe.” He suck out a hand to shake.
“Nice to meet you.”
I remember when you were mine.
Yes, I remembered, but it didn’t hurt any longer. I’d found someone else to be mine. Sam was my past, and Aiden was my future. Sam was only a figure in my rearview mirror, and Aiden was the destination I couldn’t wait to get to.
He smiled at me, and for the first time in a long time, I smiled back with my heart full of love.