Edward and Bella sat at opposite ends of the couch, neither knowing how to start. They had been sitting that way for the past twenty minutes. Periodically, one or the other would start to speak, only to clam up quickly before any sound could escape their open mouths. Edward would run a frustrated hand through his hair and Bella would bite her bottom lip.
“You’re gonna make yourself bleed if you keep that up,” he finally said, breaking the silence.
“Well you’re gonna make all your hair fall out.”
And so they continued to sit.
“This is ridiculous, Bella. We need to talk.”
“I know,” she said after a pause. “I have an idea. Why don’t we sit at the table across from each other and just,” she made a hand motion in the air, “just air out all of our…”
“Grievances? Are we an international peace council now?”
“Our concerns.” She glared at him. “And since you have decided to start off the discussion as such a jackass, you can go first.”
And with that, Bella promptly plopped down onto the hard kitchen chair.
Edward ran another tense hand through his hair. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m not trying-“
“Just sit and start talking.” In truth, Bella’s heart was aching for what she knew she was putting him through. When calm, Edward would caress her cheek and whisper ‘love’ in her ear. However, when he was tense as well, his hand instead nervously ran through his hair and his pet name changed to ‘baby’ which was usually spoken in a desperate plea.
“I just don’t understand why you insist on being to obstinate about marriage. I know that you want to get married and have kids.” The glare Bella had been sporting since they sat down deepened and she began biting her bottom lip again. “I know you are worried about what my family thinks of you, but they have really started warming up to you since we started dating.”
“Edward, if I’m going to be a member of your family ‘really started warming up to you’ isn’t gonna cut it.”
“Okay, how I phrased tha-“
“This isn’t about phrasing, Edward. You, yourself just admitted that your family is not my biggest fan. After three years of dating, they and I should at least be in temped waters, but let me tell you, from where I’m sitting, these waters are down right chilly.”
“But it is getting better and I love you so-“
“So we should be able to make it work,” she cut him off. “And I would agree except love is not always enough. If it were, my parents, we would still be together.”
“You cannot punish me, and us, just because your parents couldn’t make it work, love.”
“My parents still love each other. They just don’t have enough else in common to live together. And now-“Bella took a deep breath feeling the tears well up, “now they still pine after each other.”
“Renee remarried.”
“And she loves Phil. But when she asks about how dad is doing…I can see that there is still something there. And you’ve seen my dad’s house. It’s a goddamn shrine to their marriage.”
“Bella, that won’t happen to us.”
“You can’t know that,” Bella’s voice cracked when the tears began to spill over. “And with your family feeling the way that they do…”
Edward slammed his fists against the table and began pacing her small apartment. He couldn’t deny that she had a valid point, but still.
“You’re so sure that it wouldn’t work. That my family would interfere.”
“They think I’m some money-grubbing whore.”
“Only Rosalie and my grandfather. Besides Rose is an in-law and doesn’t count and Grandpa is senile and thinks everyone, my mother included, is out for the family fortune.”
At his words, Bella jumped up and began pacing herself. “First of all, you defending your family for thinking that way doesn’t help you case. Secondly, Rosalie has complete control over your brother and Aro controls the family’s purse strings and therefore Carlisle and Esme.”
“Emmett and my parents can think for themselves.”
“Funny, they really don’t act like it. Alice is the only one who has ever truly made me feel welcome.”
“What about me? Do my actions count for nothing?”
“They do count. But honestly, you spend so much time defending them, you’re hospitality in that house gets…kind of lost.”
Edward looked at her blankly, stunned. “How long have you felt this way?”
“Since the first time you took me to your house,” Bella finally admitted after a short pause. She suddenly felt very shy.
Edward groaned. “Well what the hell do you want from me, Bella? I mean…seriously…what?” He was practically in exasperation as he once again ran a hand through his disheveled hair.
“I need to come first, Edward,” Bella shouted. “Not your parents, not your sister-in-law, not your grandfather. “
Her abruptness shocked them both. The last time Edward had been shocked by Bella’s words was back when they first started going out. He felt they should wait awhile before spending the night together. Bella disagreed and had explained her reasons in rather graphic terms. However, as Bella recalled, that argument ended with a warm body hovering over her repeatedly during the night to do delicious things to her body as well as some very tangled limbs in rumpled sheets the next morning. Bella doubted this argument would end so pleasantly.
Bella attempted to calm her breathing and gather her thoughts. “Edward, in order for me to really give this a try, I need to know that I come first. When your family starts asking you to choose between us, I need you to choose me. Our children and I need to come first.”
Edward slowly stalked toward her. Reaching his hands up and holding her face delicately, he looked her in the eyes.
“You do come first, love,” he leaned in to give her a tentative kiss. ”Always first.”
Edward leaned back in for a kiss which soon turned more passionate than either intended. The next thing she knew, Bella was slammed against the wall, wrapping her legs around his waist and he moved to relocate them back to the couch. Bella could feel him begin to fumble with their clothes and couldn’t help but internally smirk.
Maybe this fight could end pleasantly after all.
The pair finally made it from the couch to the bed and dozed off several hours later. Well, Edward dozed in any case. Bella lay there wide awake and marveling at their stupidity. Sure, it was a good time, but they had gotten almost nothing done and regardless of how much she had appreciated the orgasm, she would have preferred a resolution.
Glancing at Edward one last time, she slipped out of bed and over to the phone. She quickly dialed Alice’s number. She finally picked up and agreed to meet her at the local coffee shop. Bella dressed and was out the door before Edward could wake up. She really needed to get some perspective from Alice before she and Edward screwed things up any more than they already had.
Alice was already waiting for her with a cup of coffee when she arrived. Alice had managed to snag a table near the back where no one would bother either of them.
“I don’t know what to do,” she said as soon as she dropped herself into the chair across from Alice.
“Well, why don’t you walk me through what happened?”
Bella proceeded to explain the events to Alice starting with the reason for the fight and ending with the abrupt end to the latest battle earlier that afternoon. Alice barely managed to contain her smirk at the ending of her little chronicle with no little effort.
“Bells, you realize that this is how you guys end all your fights. It’s no wonder nothing ever gets accomplished.”
“I realize that, Alice,” venom evident in her voice. “But how am I supposed to atop the cycle?”
“Keep your knees together?”
Bella made an almost inhuman sound of annoyance and started gathering up her things. “Never mind if you’re gonna make fun of me.”
“No. Just wait and sit back down.” Alice patiently watched as Bella resituated herself. “Look, the only people you nee to worry about are Emmett and our parents. All of them love you. Don’t worry about Rose, she hates everyone but Emmet and as for Grandpa Aro, well he’ll probably be dead soon and Dad will become the family patriarch. I really don’t want you to feel as though you have no allies.”
“That isn’t the point, Alice. I mean, I hear what you’re saying, I do. But it really doesn’t matter to me so much that your family could like me better. It’s Edward. He wants to get married; he wants to have a family. We can’t do that if I’m the only one defending our relationship to his family. We both have to defend it.” Alice looked down at her coffee mug in defeat. “I do want to marry him, but I feel like whenever the Cullen family gets involved that I’m the only one saying that we belong together. It’s his family; he should be shouting louder than anyone.”
“I see your point. I just wish you would try to hold out a little bit longer.”
“Alice, I’ve been holding out for three years. I’m tired of waiting to be the priority.”
“I know, it’s just that we were always taught that family comes first, you know?”
“With all due respect Alice, Rosalie comes first to Emmett and Jasper comes first to you. I want to come first to Edward and I really don’t think that it’s an unreasonable request.”
At that, Bella’s cell started ringing. “It’s Edward, Alice. I’ve gotta go and talk to him.”
Alice got up and gave Bella hug good-bye. “You will always be my best friend and I will always consider you a sister,” she whispered before walking out the door.
Bella sighed and looked down at the phone. “Hello, Edward.”
