Unfortunate Understanding by Heartbroken1

Sam’s smiling face stared back at me. He lifted my chin with his finger and pressed his eager lips to mine. He wrapped his arms around me, drawing me into his strong chest, and I felt safe, whole.

Shaking my head to dislodge the painful memory, I paced back and forth in my room, pondering the thoughts that kept creeping into my mind. Never in a million years would I have thought that I’d have something in common with Jacob Black.

Yet here we were, two peas in a pod. Both of us pining away for loves that would never be ours.

My heart held empathy for him. I understood his pain. Only a few years ago, I’d experienced something eerily similar.

“Sam’s gone,” Emily said through the bleeding slices covering her face.

“Oh, honey,” my mother comforted her, “I’m sure he’ll be back as soon as he knows what’s happened to you.” She looked at me. “Get me some gauze and the peroxide.”

I turned my back and headed toward the bathroom.

“Sam,” Emily cried out.

My tears matched hers, although for very different reasons.

Sam did return to the scarred girl who loved him, and eventually he would take her as his wife. Emily asked me to be her maid of honor while they declared their love and promised to love only each other forever.

While picking out flowers, Sam walked in and wrapped her in a passionate hug, lowering his lips to hers.

Instead of witnessing them kiss, I stared at the white roses and picked at the baby’s breath that resembled the ones that would someday make up her bridal bouquet. To this day, the scent of roses makes my throat constrict and my eyes tear up.

A sniffle, followed by a sob, filled the silence around me as a single tear dripped off my chin. I wiped it away and sat down, staring into the vanity that sat directly across from the foot of my bed.

What a pathetic sight… Wet cheeks, a trembling lower lip and bitter, heartbroken eyes looked back at me.

Although I hadn’t seen Jacob break down, and never would, I had seen the same devastation and agony when he’d met my gaze.

Scrutinizing my reflection caused my anger to build, my heart started to pound and my eyes narrowed. The fury coursing through my veins was palpable. The shaking started, first in my hands and then my whole body started to react.

I took a deep breath, relaxing a bit, and cursed softly. Damn you, Bella!

After the battle with the newborn bloodsuckers, Jacob’s world came crashing down around him. His beloved Bella couldn’t even wait until he was healed before strolling in and adding a broken heart to the rest of his wounds. Unfortunately, heartbreak doesn’t heal as quickly as the rest of his body.

The others said it was for the best…

“It’ll be okay when Jacob finds his imprint.”

“Good riddance to the leech lover.”

“Yeah, she’s not good enough for him anyway.”

Good enough or not, Jacob loved her, and with her goodbye, he began another transformation. This one had him changing as well, but not into something strong and powerful. This one left only a shell.

The physical changes were evident to anyone who knew him. The far away look in his eyes. The dark circles shadowing them from lack of sleep, probably because he was avoiding his dreams. He was losing weight. And there was no such thing as a smile on his face anymore. The happy-go-lucky guy we all knew no longer existed.

Jacob was broken, devastated.

I recognized the symptoms right away. I’d seen them before…

When Sam walked out of my life and into the arms of my cousin, it nearly destroyed me. The moment I saw them together all those years ago, I knew that my heart would never recover. Even after all that time, watching them together is still excruciating; knowing that she was the one in his heart, in his bed.

And, to add insult to injury, now I’m able to see that love, that devotion, through Sam’s own eyes, feeling his imprint. That was more painful than not understanding what had happened.

Jacob’s loss was like ripping the scab off of a healing wound. All of my buried emotions rushed back to the surface the first time we had phased at the same time. The hurt returned like opening a flood gate on a dam, whooshing into my memory with such force it caused me to break down into sobs.

“I’m sorry, Leah, I just can’t…”

“Can’t what, Sam? Love me?”

He pulled me into a hug and as much as I wanted to return his embrace, I couldn’t. My hands pushed against his warm chest.

“I just wish you loved me.”

“Leah, I do love you.”

A bitter laugh filled the air as my tear-filled eyes met hit gaze. “Just not enough.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, pulling me close for the last time.

My eyes drifted back to the face in the mirror. Tears were streaming down my cheeks as the emotions were so close to the surface. It had been years since I’d let myself remember what Sam and I had had together.

I hate Bella. Damn her! There was no way my heart would ever let me hate Sam, so I would hate her -- gladly.

Taking a tissue, I wiped the tears away and blew my nose. This heartbreak had to stop, for my sake, and Jacob's.

Something had to be done. The rest of the pack seemed to be content to pussy-foot around the topic, afraid to cause anymore pain to their precious Jacob.

Sam told us, “Just let Jake grieve. In time, we’ll have him back.”

I knew better, but didn’t argue. This was something Jacob would never completely recover from, anymore than I had. I kept my knowledge to myself. My brothers were already irritated at me, there was no need to add fuel to their fire.

Well, I’d had enough. I couldn’t take reliving my hurt -- and his -- over and over again.

Someone had to put a stop to all the anguish…

And, with no other options, I was just the wolf to do it.