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Unlikely Savior by Edwardishot






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Table of Contents
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Story Notes:

AU - This is how I pictured Edward and Bella reacting when they came home from their honeymoon - as my beta put it, a "calmer, gentler, more accepting Edward"

 

Twilighted beta:  blondie

Author's Chapter Notes:

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.


 

Bella was silent on the boat ride back to the mainland.  I wish I knew what she was thinking.  Even though I had never been able to read her mind, I had learned to interpret her silences fairly well.  But not today.  She fell asleep on the plane shortly after takeoff.  She propped a pillow between her and the window and dozed, breathing softly and regularly.  She was in a deep sleep, which I was thankful for.  The next few days would be hard on her, and I could only imagine the nightmares she would be plagued with.  Of that I was certain. 

 

I tried not to let my mind linger on our situation.  I didn’t want to feel any emotion, any thing at all, really.  I only wanted to be there for Bella.  But I couldn’t help it.  A small part of me wanted to be happy.  I knew our circumstances were bleak, but what if they weren’t?  How would it feel to be a human husband, knowing I had gotten my wife pregnant on our honeymoon?  Would I feel so empty?  Surprised, maybe, but not like this.  Nothing like this. 

 

I knew what I had to do – what we had to do.  Or, Carlisle, rather.  He would take care of her.  He would make this as painless as possible.  He loved her like a daughter, and I knew without a doubt he would do whatever it took to keep her safe and protected.  That was supposed to be my job, and I had failed miserably.  I had done this to her.  And I didn’t know if I would ever forgive myself. 

 

My eyes strayed to Bella’s swollen stomach.  Odd how I hadn’t noticed it yesterday.  But she hadn’t either.  Maybe it wasn’t there yesterday.  This pregnancy was not normal in any way, least of which the fact that the father was a vampire. 

 

Father…up until this moment, I hadn’t thought of myself as a father.  I was only a teenager when I had been changed, too young to want a family of my own.  And since then, I knew I could never have children, so it just never really crossed my mind to want this. To want a child with her.  To give a child to her. 

 

Suddenly, I wanted to touch it.  I knew it would only cause me pain, but I couldn’t resist the urge.  I reached down, and with my fingers spread, I very gently covered her small bump with my hand.  At that moment, if I had been able to shed tears, I would’ve wept openly.  This was one of the most painful moments of my existence, second only to leaving Bella last fall.  I was just about to move my hand away, for I couldn’t bear to keep it there any longer, when it moved.  When, and I hated to even think the word, the baby moved.  I mentally chastised myself.  I cannot think of it as a baby.  It is not a baby. It is a monster, a demon’s spawn.  So I pulled my hand away and turned my face toward the aisle, trying to forget the pain. 

 

Bella awoke just as the plane touched down.  She gave me her sweet smile.  It’s almost as if she were trying to reassure me.  I was not worthy of this woman.  I had known that all along.  And I knew it more in that moment than I ever had.

 

Alice and Jasper met us at the airport.  Bella embraced Alice, with unshed tears in her eyes.  She let go quickly, but almost unwillingly.  It was as if she knew we needed to get home.  But she didn’t want to go.  I could see her hesitate before getting into the back of the car.  She knew.  She knew what was waiting for her at home.  Agony.  And I am quite sure she was in no way concerned about the physical pain of it.

 

Bella cried silently all the way home.  I held her in my arms, her head on my shoulder.  Every few minutes, she would reach up and wipe the tears from her face, but other than that, there was no movement on her part.  I put my head on hers, and wished for this to be over soon. 

 

Alice let me know in her thoughts that Carlisle wanted to be here, but he was in the process of obtaining some equipment he needed. I winced.  She saw my face and explained it was only an ultrasound machine he was setting up in his office, so he could give Bella a more thorough examination. 

 

I tried to read her mind to see what the future would be like for Bella and I after this was over.  But I could see she didn’t know.  Bella and I both had conflicting ideas of the course we were on, so it was unclear to her.  She had no idea where our lives were headed.  She silently apologized for not being any help.  She wanted now, more than anything, to be able to see the future so she could reassure me.  She hated for me to be in the dark.

 

When we arrived home, Jasper held the front door open for us as we stepped inside.  Alice gave my hand a gentle squeeze, and she and Jasper quietly stole from the room. Would you like for me to stay? Jasper questioned with his mind.  I can help calm her.  I very subtly shook my head no.  While I appreciated his thoughtfulness, I knew Bella would not want it that way.  She would be upset later if she knew her calm was a façade. 

 

Carlisle was at the foot of the stairs waiting for us.  He came forward to embrace Bella.  He looked at me over her shoulder.  I’m so sorry, son.  I don’t know what to say.  This spoken silently, Bella unaware. 

 

Bella let go of him first.  She stepped backwards, and I thought she was turning to me.  But she took one look at Carlisle’s sympathetic face and collapsed to the floor.  Luckily, he and I were both fast enough to reach her and keep her upright.  I immediately scooped her up in my arms.  I thought she had fainted.  But she was fully awake, her body wracking with sobs.  I was tempted to sit with her on the bottom step and let her cry it out, but I was also felt an urgent need to get her upstairs so Carlisle could examine her.  With the way things were progressing, I wasn’t sure what kind of timeframe we were dealing with. 

 

I carried her up the stairs, at a pace that would be slow even for a human.  She had her arms wrapped around my neck, her face buried.  She was holding on for dear life. 

 

Carlisle led the way, stopping outside his study.  He opened the door for me to step inside, ahead of him.  I saw where he had set up a hospital bed, as well as some medical equipment I had not seen in here before.  I could only assume it was the ultrasound machine Alice had mentioned.

 

“Bella, Edward is going to lay you on the bed, alright?  I am going to examine you, and I will tell you everything I am doing before I do it.  Right now, I just want to check you out, okay?  Blood pressure, pulse, that sort of thing.  Understand?”  Carlisle motioned for me to put her on the bed.  Suddenly, it looked like some sort of torture chamber, his office.  As Bella lifted her head and looked around, I was sure she was thinking the same thing. 

 

She nodded at Carlisle and released her hold on me so I could lay her down.  She adjusted herself onto the pillow, then turned her face to the far wall. 

 

Carlisle busied himself checking her over, while I stood by her head, my hand in her hair.  In long, slow strokes, I ran my hand from her forehead, up the pillow where her hair was spread.  So beautiful, so soft it felt under my fingers.  My poor, precious Bella.  I’ll make it go away.  I swear, I’ll make it go away.  I remembered uttering those words before, what seemed like ages ago.  And I had been able to keep my promise then.  I only hoped I could do the same this time.

 

As soon as Carlisle was done with his initial exam, he explained to Bella about the ultrasound machine.  “This should allow me to see inside your uterus, to look at the fetus.  Before we discuss anything further, I think we should take a look.  It won’t hurt a bit.  It will be cold to the touch, but it won’t be anything invasive.  I will simply move the wand over your stomach in different places, okay?”  Bella nodded. 

 

She reached for my hand.  I grasped hers and squeezed as hard as I could without hurting her.  She squeezed back.  And then she looked into my eyes with hope.  I knew what she was thinking then.  She was thinking that the machine would give us a picture of a perfectly normal, healthy, human baby.  And then everything would be alright.  I looked away, not wanting her to see the disbelief in my eyes.  I knew it would not be the way she hoped.  In order for that to happen, the baby would need two human parents.  And it had only one.

 

I kept a close eye on Carlisle as he moved the instrument over her, and then looked at the computer screen.  I could hear his thoughts. He was perplexed, concentrating, worrying. 

 

Finally, he put the wand back on the table, wiped Bella’s stomach with a towel, and gently pulled her shirt down.  He reached over and turned the monitor off.

 

He cleared his throat and began.  “Bella, Edward, I was unable to get a clear picture of the fetus.”  Bella squeezed her eyes tight, and tears escaped.  But she made no sound.

 

Carlisle continued, “At this point, I feel it is necessary to perform an amniocentesis.  It is a very common procedure that is performed all the time during pregnancy.  However, this method is invasive.  I will have to insert a syringe attached to a needle into the womb and withdraw amniotic fluid.”  I expected Bella to react when he said ‘needle’, but she made no movement or sound.  Her eyes were open now, fixated on his face.  She was taking in everything he was saying to her. 

 

“The good news is this will give us information that we couldn’t have gotten from the sonogram alone.  I will be able to accurately determine how far along you are, or rather, how far along your body thinks you are.  The bad news is that, under normal circumstances, the doctor uses the ultrasound to see where the needle is being inserted, so as not to touch the fetus.  I won’t have that luxury, but I promise to do everything in my power to make sure that does not happen.”  He seemed confident, and I think Bella believed him.  I know she believed in him.  She was hanging on every word he said, convinced he was her salvation.  He had never failed her before, why would he now?

 

When she spoke, her voice was hoarse.  “I trust you.  Do whatever you need to do.”

 

“Bella,” I said, “do you understand about the needle?”  I wanted to make sure she was fully aware of what she was saying, she seemed so calm.  Normally needles scared her to death. 

 

“Yes.  I am fine.  This isn’t about me anymore.” Then she turned her head to the wall again. 

 

At that moment, I heard Esme come to the door.  “Carlisle, is there anything I can get for Bella?”

“Bella, would you like some water, maybe something to eat?  Edward said you’ve been nauseated.  How about some crackers, maybe a soda?” Carlisle said this so softly, so lovingly.  He could be so comforting to his patients.  I hoped it was working on Bella.

 

“No, thank you.  I don’t think I could keep it down right now.  But, thank you, Esme.  That’s very kind of you.”  Bella sounded so weak, so pathetic.  I wanted to scoop her up in my arms and beg her forgiveness for what I had done to her.  But now was not the time.  That would come later, I was sure.

 

“Edward, I am going to start the procedure now.  Would you like to step out of the room?  There may be a little blood when I insert the needle.”  Carlisle’s eyebrows shot up.  He knew I was close to the breaking point, and he didn’t want me to show any weakness in front of Bella.  I was almost immune to the temptation of her blood now, but he didn’t want to take any chances. 

 

“I’m fine.  I don’t want to leave her.”  Jasper and Emmett would have to come and drag me out.  I would never leave her again.  Not for a long time.  If that was what she wanted, and I hoped it was.

 

Then Bella spoke. “It’s okay, Edward.  I want you to go.  I will be fine with Carlisle.  He’ll take care of me.”  She smiled at him then.  My unbeating heart twisted in my chest.  I was right.  She was counting on him to be her savior.  The…baby’s savior.

 

“If that’s what you want.  I’ll be right outside.  All you have to do is whisper.”  I would never admit it to her, but I needed a moment out of her sight.  I needed to collect myself.  I vowed to be nothing but strong for her. 

 

As I rounded the corner into the hall, Esme was standing there waiting for me.  Though she was not the mother from my childhood, she had loved me for much longer, and knew me much better.  She opened her arms, and like a child, I fell into them.  Thank goodness she was a strong as me, for if not, I would’ve knocked her over.  We sank to the floor, and I finally let go.  I sobbed until I was almost convinced tears were falling from my eyes.  She crooned, and rocked, and cried with me.  She knew my pain, knew it only too well.  And I could see in her mind what was waiting for my Bella.  And I cried even harder.  I would never forgive myself for doing this to her.  “It’s not your fault, Edward.  You had no idea.”  This she said out loud, as if simply thinking it would not be enough to convince me.  But I knew she was wrong.  It was all my fault.

 

We stayed like that for what seemed a very long time.  Then I heard what Carlisle was thinking, and in one swift move, I lifted both Esme and I to our feet and practically flew into his office.  At that exact moment, he opened his mouth to speak.

 

“Bella, I am going to have to try again in another spot.  Again, I will be careful of the fetus.  But the needle will not penetrate the area I originally chose.  So just hold on a few more minutes.  This will be over soon, I promise.”  She nodded.  Once again, tears flowed from her eyes. 

 

I brought her hand up to my mouth and kissed it.  Then I put her palm flat on my cheek.  She moved her thumb back and forth, again as if she were trying to comfort me.  What had I ever done to deserve this woman?  I had hurt her over and over again.  But this time, I was likely to have destroyed her. 

 

Edward, I heard in Carlisle’s mind, I need to try again.  Help to keep her calm.  She needs you.  I can feel her body tensing up.  It’s not helping the situation.

 

I leaned over her then, partially blocking her view of Carlisle.  I looked into her eyes.  “Sweetheart, he is going to have to try again.  If you want him to stop, he will.  You have been so brave, but you don’t have to go on.  I know this is difficult for you.”

 

“I don’t care if he has to stick me with a thousand needles.  I am fine.”  

 

I looked over my shoulder and nodded for Carlisle to continue.  I stayed where I was, hoping it would help a little if she weren’t able to actually see what he was doing. 

 

A few moments later, Carlisle withdrew and laid the needle aside.  I looked, and my face fell when I saw the syringe was empty.

 

Once again, Carlisle pulled Bella’s blouse down.  But this time, he also covered her up with a blanket.  He sat down at the end of her bed, and began:

 

“Bella, I was unable to penetrate the uterine wall, so I could not withdraw any amniotic fluid.  After failing to get a picture from the ultrasound, and my inability to insert the needle into your uterus, I don’t believe there is any way for me to determine the condition of the fetus.”  Carlisle glanced at me then, letting me know what was coming.  I grabbed Bella’s hand with both of my own, and held my breath.

 

“Bella, when I was trying to perform the procedure, the needle almost broke each time.  It was as if it were hitting a wall of concrete.  The only thing I can compare your uterine wall to is…” he took a deep breath and sighed “…..vampire skin.”  Bella sucked in her breath.  I turned her to me and pulled her into my embrace.  But she didn’t stay there.  She leaned back onto the bed, and took a few deep breaths to pull herself together.

 

“That doesn’t mean anything is wrong.  His father is a vampire.  We can only assume he will possess some of his characteristics.”  She stated this matter of factly, with no emotion. 

 

I winced.  She said his father.  A son.  She believed she was carrying a boy.  She was far too attached already.  I had read somewhere that a woman becomes a mother as soon as she gets pregnant.  Bella was already a mother, concerned only for her child.

 

“Yes, Bella,” Carlisle replied.  “However, considering the fact that your body has progressed in a few days time to what in a normal pregnancy would take several months, we have to assess that as a negative.  And with the fact we cannot look at or perform any kind of tests on the fetus, this again poses a serious problem.  Your blood pressure is very low, your pulse faint, and your physical appearance alone is cause for alarm.”  Bella opened her mouth to speak, but Carlisle help up his hand to stop her.

 

“I know you haven’t been feeling well, and I can see the stress and strain you are under. However, you are in much more of a weakened state than any normal pregnancy would cause.”  He leaned forward and took her other hand.

 

“Bella, I know what you wanted me to say.  I know what you wanted to happen here today, what you believed I would tell you.   But it is not so, Bella.  This is not a normal pregnancy, this is not a healthy pregnancy, and I don’t believe it is a viable pregnancy.”  He gently laid her hand back on her lap. He stood up and walked to my side, and put both of his hands on my shoulders.  I am so sorry, Edward.  I would give anything to be able to tell her what she wants to hear.  I could almost hear the emotion in his mind.  And then I could see that this was costing him something, too.  After all, this was his grandchild, in every way that mattered.  And in a very short time, he was going to have to….my mind trailed off.  I couldn’t even think the words.

 

“I will give you two a moment.  Call me when you need me.  I will be downstairs, to give you some privacy.”  And then, silently again, Edward, I don’t know what sort of time table we are dealing with here.  I want her to have time to come to terms with this, but I also feel that time is of the essence.  He walked out, closing the door behind him.

 

I rose from where I was sitting and moved to the edge of Bella’s bed.  I leaned down and lifted her to me.  She was about to lose control, I could tell.  The small glimmer of hope she had been holding on to was about to go.  I stood with her in my arms, and carried her to the overstuffed chair in the corner of the room.  I sat with her cradled in my lap.  We sat silently for a long while, until she released what I could only describe as an animal sound of anguish.  I held her as tight as I could without crushing her, and my silent sobs matched her own.  Our bodies were trembling violently. The only difference between her grief and mine were her tears, soaking through my shirt.  I held her for a long time, until we stopped shaking.  But her river of tears continued.

 

Downstairs, I heard Alice leave.  She could hear everything, and she couldn’t take it anymore.  She loved Bella, too, and this was probably more devastating to her than any of the other members of my family.  I heard her tell Jasper to stay, in case I decided I did need him.  Besides, she wanted to be alone right now.  But she wouldn’t be far, and we need only call her to come home if we needed her.

 

“Shh, shh.  It will be alright.  It will all be over soon.”  I tried my best to soothe Bella.  I wanted to give her the time she needed, but I remembered Carlisle’s words.  So, I very slowly stood and took her back to the bed.  I softly whispered, “Carlisle,” as I laid her down.  I knew he would hear me. 

 

Bella knew as well.  She let go of me and curled into a ball on her side.  “I want Esme,” she wailed.  Only a second later, Esme knocked softly, then came through the door.  Carlisle was standing behind her.  I joined him in the hall to give them a moment of privacy.  I concentrated very hard on staying out of Esme’s head.  If Bella wanted me to know what she was saying to her, she would tell me.  But I could guess.  She was talking to the only person she could identify with right now. 

 

“I want her to be under full anesthesia, Carlisle.  I want you to put her to sleep, and when she wakes up, this will all be over.  She cannot be awake for the procedure.”  I saw in his mind he was in complete agreement with me.  “And I want to be with her.”  This was not part of his plan. 

 

“Edward, I know you want to be strong for her, but she won’t know you aren’t there.  I will have Esme stay with her.  And, if you want, I will call Alice to come back as well.  And you can be there when she wakes up.  I know you don’t want to believe it, but this is your child, too.  I can see how you are hurting.  I’m sorry, son, I cannot allow you to be in the room.  You don’t want to see this.”  He was serious.  And worse, he was right.  “Considering how the fetus is protecting itself, this is going to be much more complicated than a textbook ab…”  He stopped.  But I heard him finish the word in his mind.  I flinched, almost as if I had been struck.  “I’m sorry, forgive me, that was insensitive.” 

 

I conceded.  “Alright, Carlisle.  But let me go in and be with her until she falls asleep.  Then I’ll leave.”

 

“Of course,” Carlisle agreed.

 

“Edward, come in.”  Esme’s quiet voice called to me from the study.  I rounded the corner to see her kiss Bella’s forehead and smile.  She turned and caressed my cheek as she left. 

 

I went over and sat next to Bella.  I told her that Carlisle was going to put her to sleep, and when she woke up, I would be with her. 

 

She looked at me then, and I had never seen her look so broken.  Not when I found her in the dance studio near death.  Not even when I left her in the forest outside Charlie’s house.  And she grabbed my hand and begged, tears streaming down her beautiful face.

 

“Please, Edward, please don’t do this.  I won’t ask you for anything ever again.  And I’ll stay human.  I promise.  I will never again ask you to change me.  I’ll stay human, and I’ll take care of the baby.  I will grow old and die, and I’ll never complain or……”

 

I cut her off.  I couldn’t stand anymore.  “Bella, I would do anything for you if I could, but if we don’t end this now, you could die.  And I will never let that happen.  Not now.  Not ever.  I will change you tomorrow.  We can be together forever.  But, please, don’t ask me for this.  It’s the one thing I cannot give you.” 

 

She nodded then, as if she were agreeing with me.  As if she knew I would put her life first, protect her no matter what the cost.  And she looked me straight in the eye and said, “I understand.  I love you more than you could possibly imagine.  And I’m sorry.”  She paused, then looked at the door.

 

“Rosalie….?”

 

“I’m here, Bella.”

 

I didn’t know when Rosalie had come in.  She and Emmett weren’t here when we arrived.  I suppose she had just gotten here.  I had been so wrapped up with Bella I hadn’t even noticed.  But now I could see in her mind why she hadn’t been home when we arrived.  She didn’t want me to read her thoughts then.  She knew she would have to come home later, when I was too preoccupied to notice.  And I was furious.  I turned to tell her to leave.

 

Then, Bella screamed “No!” just as Rosalie hit me square in the chest, knocking me into the far wall.  She grabbed Bella and ran out of the room.  I could read in her mind that she wasn’t taking her far, just to my room.  Our room now.  She laid her in the big bed and told her to rest, she was safe now.  She would take care of everything. 

 

By the time I sprang from the floor and rounded the corner, she was standing guard outside the closed door.  I saw in her mind the phone conversation she had with my wife before we left the island.  While I loaded our luggage into the boat, Bella called Rosalie.  She begged for her help.  She knew Rosalie had once desired a child, and she knew she would help her to save hers.  She asked Rosalie not to be here when we arrived, just in case everything was fine.  She didn’t want me to feel betrayed that she had gone behind my back.  But when Rosalie and Emmett arrived, they found Carlisle downstairs, and he explained the bleakness of the situation.  At that point, she knew it was only a matter of time before she would make her move…

 

“You can’t do this,” I hissed.  “I know you have always hated Bella, but to condemn her to die like this is inexcusable.  And even if the…baby…survives, do you honestly think I would ever turn it over to you?  After you helped to kill its mother?”  I refrained from screaming, knowing Bella would hear.

 

I grabbed her by the arm and pulled her to the other end of the hallway.  “How can you be such a monster?  This will kill her!”  And in that moment, I wanted to slaughter Rosalie.  But Emmett came up behind her.  I could see in his mind that Rosalie had explained everything to him.  And although he didn’t really agree with her, he would protect her. 

 

“Edward, I know what you think of Rosalie right now, but she is not trying to kill Bella and take her child.  She feels sorry for her, and she wants to help her.  Bella wants to keep the baby, and you have to respect her right to do that.  As much as you want to protect Bella, she wants to protect her child.”

 

“Would everyone stop calling it a child!”  This time I did shout.  I couldn’t help it.  “It’s not a child!  It is a monster that is killing my wife!”

 

“Now you’ve done it,” Rosalie growled.  She went back to my room and went inside.  I could hear Bella weeping. 

 

“He didn’t mean it, Bella,” she crooned.  He’s just scared for you.  He loves you very much.  I read somewhere that a woman becomes a mother when she discovers she is pregnant, but a man becomes a father when he sees his child for the first time.”  I froze.  I didn’t remember the second part of that narrative.  Hearing it made me tremble.  “As soon as your baby is born, he will fall in love with him.”  I wanted to strangle Rosalie.  She was only feeding Bella’s fantasy of a bouncing baby boy.  How cruel she could be.

 

I made my way to our bedroom doorway and paused.  “Bella, may I come in?”  Rosalie glared.  “Not on your life,” she said.

 

“It’s okay, Rosalie.  He won’t hurt us,” Bella reached for me.  I walked to the bed.

 

“Fine, but I’m not leaving you alone with him.” Rosalie was definitely pushing her luck with me.  I was moments away from tearing her head off.  Emmett would just have to get over it.  He could find another mate, one who wasn’t such a shrew!

 

I stalked toward her. “Yes, you are.  You can stand guard outside the door, if you like.”  I grabbed her arm and led her back into the hall.  I slammed the door behind her.  I imagine Emmett told her to let us be, because she didn’t try to come back in.

 

I went to the bed and kneeled next to Bella.  She reached out to stroke my cheek.

 

“I’m sorry, Edward.  I just couldn’t let you do it.  I know you only want to protect me, but I only want to protect our baby.  Don’t you understand?”  She put both her hands on her stomach and slowly began to caress it.

 

“But, Bella, this could kill you.  You don’t know what you are carrying.  The odds are very much against it being a normal baby.  You heard what Carlisle said.  He can’t see it.  It has built a barrier around itself.  No baby could do that.  That is not you and me together.  That is just me, the demon in me!”  I had to make her understand.  She was going to die for nothing!

 

“You are not a demon!  I know you think you are, but I have never, in all the time I have spent with you, seen any evidence of that.  You are a wonderful, loving, generous man who would do anything for me.  And I am asking you to do this.  To support me, to love me, to love our child.”  She grabbed my hand and joined it with hers on her stomach.  Then she sat bolt upright in the bed.  “Next to you, he is the most important thing in my world.  And I will not let you kill him!”  Her eyes burned with fury then.  I had never seen her so angry. 

 

“But, Bella, that’s just it.  I am not a man.  I am a vampire!  And vampires can’t have children!  If you want a child, we will find another way.  I promise, I will give you a baby, just not mine.”  I was begging now.  Begging for her life.  But I knew she had made up her mind.  And with Rosalie as her guard dog, and Emmett backing her up, there was nothing I could do. 

 

“Edward, you are not listening to me.  I don’t want a baby, I want your baby.  I never even thought of children before, not until this happened!  But when I discovered this, what we had done together, I knew I could never let him go.  Don’t you understand?  This is a miracle.  This is a chance for us to have tangible proof of how much we love each other.  Can’t you see him?  Your bronze hair, and green eyes like yours when you were human?   Or maybe even my brown ones.  Doesn’t that make you want him more than anything?”  I had no answer for that.  Everything in me resisted what she was saying.  I could only bury my head in her lap.  She stroked my hair, and I wrapped my arms around her back and held on, as if I would never be able to do so again.

 

Several minutes of silence passed.  Her anger died down, but not her resolve.  She wasn’t giving in.  And unless I wanted to lose her forever, right now, I had to yield to her.

 

“Alright,” I resigned.  “If this is what you want, I will support you.  And love you.  You were right when you said I would do anything for you.” I paused.  “And I will do this.”  I rose to sit on the bed next to her.  I lay down and pulled her to me, her back pressed against my chest.  “And I will love our child.”  Even as I promised her, I wasn’t sure if I could really do it.  Not as long as it was killing my wife.  But I would try. For her.  Because I would do anything for her.

 

 

 

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