I stood in the living room of the cottage tucked away in the Forks woods. Actually, it was impossible to label my stance as "standing"- I was practically vibrating with impatience. I disliked being held up when on a mission, and I had been waiting for nearly three minutes. Is there no respect for the smallest Cullen? Honestly, Edward, hurry up! I stomped one foot (clad in a metallic silver Gucci flat), and the floorboards shook.
Chuckles came from the bedroom down the hall and my favorite brother sauntered into the room a few seconds later, pulling on a white button down shirt. The expression on his face was one of annoyance. He glared at me, obviously not appreciating the interruption.
"Alice, you may be the smallest, but you make up for it by being the most irritating. I thought we weren't leaving for another hour, at least. Why are you so early? I was busy," he whined. He was such a child!
"Edward, there will be plenty of time for that tonight, and tomorrow, and the rest of forever," I huffed. "Anyways, I saw a traffic jam outside of Seattle. We're going to have to get a head start if we want to avoid it."
I looked him over- he was wearing the white Brooks Brothers oxford that I given him for his last "birthday" and khakis, Yves Saint Laurent aviators peeking out of one pocket. After so many decades, it was unusual for me to have to guide Edward's fashion choices, but I still liked to keep an eye on him.
He rolled his eyes at that particular thought. "Thanks for your concern, Alice."
His outfit was acceptable, but not nearly as brilliant as my ensemble: grey cashmere James Perse sweater dress, knit Alice + Olivia leggings, and a black Botkier bag. I topped off the look with some silver jewelry, 65th anniversary presents from Jasper (Tiffany's, of course).
Bella entered the room and gave me a hug. "Edward, she's right. Forever is a big time slot to fill up, and we are certainly capable of doing so. Let Alice have her fun... for now." She winked at Edward and moved to slip into a pair of old tennis shoes.
"Thanks, Bella. At least someone around here appreciates me." I stuck my tongue out at Edward. Alright, so we were both children. "Wait, Bella, no! You can NOT wear those ratty, disgusting excuses for sneakers." I ran to Bella's closet and reappeared a few seconds later clutching five inch stilettos.
"I am not wearing those, Alice. I'll look ridiculous. Edward, help me out here."
"Actually, I quite enjoy your legs when you're wearing heels. I have no argument."
I was smug. "Bella, don't bother, I'll just guilt you into it. I've already seen you wearing them today, and you look great. Plus, it's not like you'll trip or anything." I gave her the onceover.
"Ugh, you obviously did not pay any attention when you got dressed today." I shot a look at Edward, who shrugged, shameless. "It shouldn't be my responsibility to put together a decent outfit for you, but apparently, it is. Come, Bella." We made our way to the closet. I picked out a pair of black D&G skinny jeans, a teal silk Theory tunic, and some skinny silver bangles. "Here, put these on. No questions." She obeyed, putting on even the shoes with minimal grumbling. I transferred her iPhone, wallet, and a black strapless bra into a dark Chloe hobo. Perfect!
"Alice... are you sure about this? I feel way too dressed up. And anyways, aren't we going to buy new clothes?" Bella looked at me uncertainly.
"Bella. How many times must I repeat myself? No one. Dressed. By. Me. Ever. Looks. Bad." I paused between each word to emphasize my point, looking her up and down once more. Much better; the limited edition Louboutins really made the outfit. "Let's go. We'll be taking my Porsche."
We went back to the living room, Bella strutting along gracefully in the new shoes. Edward joined us toting a bedraggled Renesmee, who was also annoyed at being disturbed from her slumber. Well, tough. She'd get over it as soon as she was distracted by Esme or Jacob. Edward stopped in his tracks and, ever the male, stared at Bella's ankles. He's lucky to have a sister like me to treat him so well. She smiled bashfully, and I could tell she'd soon come to see my side. No one resists the power of a good stiletto.
We arrived at the white house, the glass windows glinting in the sunrise. Edward went inside to drop off Ness. I saw that she would be well behaved all day, completely enthralled as Jacob read her a favorite novel. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban had always been one of Nessie's favorites, possibly because of the werewolf element. I followed Edward into the house, exchanged pleasantries with the family, and grabbed my keys.
I kissed the dashboard of my baby good morning and started the engine. We purred harmoniously as the others filed into the beautiful machine; Bella was still a little grumbly. Oh well, she would warm up to the idea once she saw the pristine stores and flawless garments. I sighed in contentment, positive that by the end of the day, Bella would be a fellow shopaholic.
"We'll see, Alice. She's as stubborn as you." Edward was amused, and a little proud.
"Yes, but she owes me a lifetime of servitude for planning the best wedding anyone has ever seen. By the way, I know you're going to try and sneak off today…" I paused and sifted through the unknown."…It won't work though, because I'll catch you, excellent!" I beamed.
Soon (rather than later, my car scoffed at standard speed limits), we arrived at the exclusive Seattle shops. I quickly got down to business. "Bella, Edward. We'll be doing Louis Vuitton first, and eventually we'll get to Chanel, YSL and Juicy. Here's the deal, Bella. You are not allowed to walk into shops and glare at the beautiful merchandise in disgust, nor are you allowed to mope. Okay?" I was deadly serious. I was obsessed with shopping, and determined to make this an enjoyable day.
"Alice, calm down. And here's a rule for you: don't overwhelm Bella. You can be a little scary when you get carried away, so be careful," Edward said. Zip it, Edward. This is my thing, and you'll get her back when I'm done. Besides, if you're good, we'll pick up something for your lovely wife at La Perla. I began translating my favorite story (Alice in Wonderland) into Japanese to keep him from seeing my vision of Bella in expensive, lacy, lingerie. He could afford to sweat and wait a little bit after all he had put me through this morning.
"Alright, that's about it. Remember the normal stuff: act human; don't speed. We'll stick together, and Edward, if you think you're getting out of this, you're wrong. I'll be keeping an eye on you even when Bella and I are picking things out. Bottom line: no funny business." I looked to see whether they would try anything, but nothing naughty would happen all day. Good.
"Okay, first stop. Bella, you need some decent handbags and wallets. Now, stay away from the monogrammed bags, they're not actually real leather. The calfskin stuff is okay. We'll get a few silk scarves for Esme, she always likes those."
"Alice, I'm sure she'll like that very much. But if you're trying to make up for the torture you're putting me through by charming me and getting gifts for other people, I see right through you." Bella raised an eyebrow.
I gave her an innocent look. "What's wrong with being a little generous? It's perfectly normal for children to buy their mothers presents."
"Yes, but those presents aren't in the four-digit range." Bella was stubborn, as always. Edward gave me an 'I-told-you-so' look. He received an icy glare in return. "Enough fighting, ladies. Let's get this over with," he scolded.
