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The Dirty, Horny Girls Chronicles by KariAnn
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This is a compilation of fics written by KariAnn, achelle131, cfmom, and MsShayB, the original Dirty, Horny Girls!


Keep in mind that the stories in this series are not necessarily "sequels" to one another, unless specified by the author.  For instance, In Pursuit of Normalcy and Defying Destiny are both post-Breaking Dawn, but they exist in decidedly different "universes."


*Stories listed in alphabetical order by title.

Categories: Pre-Twilight, Twilight, New Moon, Breaking Dawn, Post-Breaking Dawn, AU
Characters: None
Parent Series: None
Stories: 6
Series Type: Moderated



Jacob Black has been in Renesmee's life from the beginning - emerging gradually from the role of protector to best friend. 


When Nessie's feelings for her best friend begin to shift in a decidedly more-than-friendly direction, will Jacob be prepared to meet the requirements of the imprinting and respond to that shift?  Or will the fact that he literally helped raise her inhibit their relationship from progressing forward?



Sexy CoA banner by the awesome, amazing, beauitful achelle131. Imprint Me banner by the fantastic artbeatsandlife.

Categories: Post-Breaking Dawn Characters: Jacob, Nessie, Renesmee
Series: The Dirty, Horny Girls Chronicles, Imprint Me: The Jacob and Nessie Archives
Chapters: 11 Completed: No Word count: 41069
[Report This] Published: August 10, 2010 Updated: October 31, 2010


dEFYINGdESTINY-TWO1-1.jpg picture by shaybevans

"An elder once told me never to question one's journey until you've walked a mile in their shoes. I was only fourteen years old then. Who knew that the love of my life would betray me- coldheartedly? Now, I am judged...and ridiculed for the feelings I hold about my past. My journey hasn't been easy and nor had I expected it to be, but I can't refrain from asking the typical question..."Why me?" Yes, they're getting married! Yes, I agreed to be in their dumb ass wedding! Do I have to like it? Hell No!"

Come with me on a journey back to the Quileute Reservation and meet Miss Leah Clearwater, the only female shape-shifter. Leah has snagged a job at the Seattle Times just to get a break from the reservation. She has found herself dreaming about her high school sweetheart, Sam Uley. However, Sam and Emily, her second cousin, are in the final planning stages of their wedding; a wedding that, although she wants no part of, she must participate in to support her cousin. How will Leah cope? Whom will she turn to for solace? What does the future hold for Leah?


Categories: Post-Breaking Dawn Characters: Billy, Brady, Claire, Collin, Embry, Emily, Jacob, Jared, Kim, Leah, Other Character
Series: The Dirty, Horny Girls Chronicles, Leah in Love
Chapters: 4 Completed: No Word count: 26828
[Report This] Published: August 25, 2009 Updated: December 19, 2009

Fractured Hearts by cfmom Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 2428]

We've all turned the pages on the four blank months in New Moon. Edward left Bella in the woods and told her didn't want her anymore; his arrogance expected that she would just move on with her life. What he never expected was that she wouldn't be able to move on any more than he would. An angry Bella is something he couldn't fathom. What he didn't take into account is that Bella believes that true love is worth fighting for, and she's going to fight to keep Edward and her family. The Cullen abandonment hurt her deeply, but she's turned that pain into rage. What will happen when Bella decides to let them know she's not willing to let them walk away and leave her behind? How will they handle one mere human girl that's extremely pissed off, and willing to do whatever takes to bring them back? The saying "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" has never rang more true. Bella's angry and on the warpath. Not even a clan of vampires will be able to stop her.

Fractured Hearts

"My heart may have fractured when he left me, but I adamantly refuse to let it shatter. I'm stronger than that, and I'm ready to get nasty. This is going to be a side your family has never seen out of me. I hope you're prepared, because when I'm done taking your stupid, arrogant brother down a few notches, I'm coming after you. Yes, you heard me correctly. You may be small, fast, and graceful, but I'm filled with enough rage at this point to go vampire on your pixie, ballerina ass!"  ~Bella - Chapter 2: Voicemails

Special Thanks to achelle131 for the amazing banner!

Categories: New Moon, AU Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Charlie, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jacob, Jasper, Laurent, Quil, Rosalie, Victoria
Series: The Dirty, Horny Girls Chronicles
Chapters: 31 Completed: No Word count: 234336
[Report This] Published: April 17, 2009 Updated: October 25, 2010

Missing Dawn by KariAnn Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 334]

This is a series of missing moments from Breaking Dawn, starting with the wedding night at Isle Esme.

Will include Edward's POV when Bella realizes she's pregnant, and many other scenes that we missed during 'Book 2' - Jacob's perspective.  Most chapters will be Edward POV, but some will be Bella POV as well.

***PLEASE NOTE:  This story is on a temporary hiatus until I've completed my other multichaptered fic, In Pursuit of Normalcy.  I apologize for the inconvenience, but I encourage all my readers to check out IPoN.***

Thank you so much to achelle131 for the gorgeous banner!

Categories: Breaking Dawn Characters: Bella, Edward
Series: The Dirty, Horny Girls Chronicles
Chapters: 7 Completed: No Word count: 38973
[Report This] Published: March 14, 2009 Updated: May 27, 2009


In Vanity and Patience, Rosalie's patience and pride are tested, as she is forced to endure Emmett's struggle for control as a blood-thirsty newborn and wait for him to notice her. Emmett enjoys his newborn strength and abilities, but is faced with the first-time feeling of remorse for his uncontrollable acts of violence and cold indifference while blinded by bloodlust. Can he control his thirst enough to recognize his soulmate in his beautiful angel before it's too late? 

This is a collection of V&P's side-shots, from Emmett's point of view.

Updates will be slow, as V&P is my priority to complete. They will not be posted in sequential order at all times, as my writing will be based on how I feel.

Warning: Lemons in future chapters. Rated NC-17 for a reason. Violence, adult language, drugs, assault, and sexual content.

 Part of:

Categories: Pre-Twilight Characters: Carlisle, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Rosalie
Series: The Dirty, Horny Girls Chronicles, The Vanity and Patience Series
Chapters: 5 Completed: No Word count: 28410
[Report This] Published: August 11, 2009 Updated: February 23, 2011


Rosalie is content to live her vampire life to its fullest, regardless of her resentment of her immortal situation. One day while hunting she comes across a dying man with an innocent face that she cannot resist. In an act of strength, she brings him home to change him into one of them.

How does the vain and selfish Rosalie deal with an irrational newborn vampire who can’t see past his lust for blood to even notice her? Will she be able to swallow her pride and have the patience to stand by him? Will Emmett be the man who can change her life for the better?

All Chapters are Rosalie's POV

Warning: Rated NC-17 for a reason. Some chapters may contain adult language, violence, assault, and sexual content. Lemons in future chapters.

Thank you to my super-efficient Twilighted Beta, Texbelle!

Got Twitter? Follow Me! @achelle131

V&P Awards and Recognition:

  • Mentioned on The Lazy Yet Discerning Ficster Blog
  • Indie Twific Award Finalist Best Canon (WIP) 
  • Sparkle Awards Alice Award Best PreTwilight Second Place
  • Golden Chocolate Awards Best Rosalie and Emmett Runner Up
  • Rec'd and Reviewed on the Altered Lions and Sacrificial Lambs Blog

Part of:

Categories: Pre-Twilight Characters: Carlisle, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Rosalie
Series: The Dirty, Horny Girls Chronicles, The Vanity and Patience Series
Chapters: 30 Completed: Yes Word count: 192931
[Report This] Published: April 14, 2009 Updated: December 28, 2011



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