Damn I knew I should have walked down the aisle to that!!  Too bad I didn't know you then to help arrange that particular detail.  Oh, and send me Elephantdick Cullenlicker when you get a chance.  I've got something he needs to take care of.

Author's Response:

Me? A wedding planner? *laughs hysterically* That is just... *laughs hysterically again* ...well, you know me and my crazy imagination. Maybe I should use my ideas for good and not evil. *pause for dramtic effect* Nah!!!

Elephantdick Cullenlicker (right up there with Jacock Blackdick) is my top bitch...so you best treat him right. I rent him out by the hour...and for you...since I know you'll be spending a lot of time with him...I'll go half price...

I would give this 20 stars if I could!!  Perfect Classic Emmett-sweet and goofy and smart.   Your writing is wonderful, the idea was so original & so well executed.  I laughed out loud!

I just happened to scroll back on twilighted a few days, otherwise I may have missed reading this gem.  I don't know what the rules are, but you should post this again, and again so more people can read it.

It was just very good, I'm going to favorite you right now!

 

 

 

 

Author's Response:

Geeze, that's really nice of you! Coming up with ideas is a blast. Now if only I could apply what I enjoyed doing the most (being a goof off writer/dreamer) to real life! Who knew that my middle school English teacher was wrong about me not being a decent writer? These stories were fun to do, and I always love that my Beta gets my stuff up so quickly! I'll be honest in saying that I don't know what the rules are here, either (I am one of those dorks who has never done a search on here, so I don't really know how the stories are listed). I'm not used to doing stuff with my writing online. I'd repost if I knew how (if it didn't break any rules, of course...lol). Thanks for favoriting me! I feel all special (No, really...my buddy is asking me why I'm all blushy and smily right now).

This was sweet and hysterical.  Thanks!

Author's Response:

I'm glad you liked it. ;-) Thanks for reading.

I was just about to sign off for the night when I noticed that you had a new story.  Squee!

As always, your writing is such a breath of fresh air filled sharp and witty takes on these beloved characters;

"Bella wasn't like the rest of us. Not only was she a human, but she was fiercely annoying when it came to anything relating to her wedding. She drove Edward crazy with her requests that the wedding be some modern day ‘court-house two witness minimum affair.' Edward countered and played on her guilt factor and told her that she owed it to her parents to do it the right way. Edward usually didn't wear the pants in their relationship, but he got to her with his "What about your mommy and daddy?" comments. Bella finally gave in and told him that they could have a real wedding. But the kicker is that she didn't really want anything to do with the planning.

Enter me and my brilliant plan."

 

Emmett Cullen wedding planner.  Fabulous!!  you bring together once again my faves Seth and Leah who are in on the plan.  The skirmish between the wee angry fey Alice and Emmett was absolutely hilarious.  In fact, from the Imperial March to the wedding vows to the Chicken dance...I was tearful mess of laughter by the end.

 

Awesome job Lindsay!!

 

 

 

Author's Response:

I am thrilled that I was able to provide you with laughter again! Thank you for reviewing. I wasn't planning on doing anything else, but I wrote this goofy little story to keep my mind occupied and to make me smile, and knowing that it has made you smile as well really cheers me up and warms my heart (I know...I'm being all corny...lol). You're always so kind to me. Thank you for that. :-)