I'm so glad that Edward didn't turn into a self-loathing ball of repression again!!!

Nice to see the mature turnabout in his attitude!! Yay! Bella!

Shay

Author's Response:

Haha mature or sex-driven? ;) Jk... My characters do go a bit OOC at times, but I think it would be almost impossible to build a healthy relationship if they never moved past their issues... Edward always being over-protective and self-loathing and Bella not saying what she thinks about 80% of the time would make for a rough start!

I enjoy the little moments of your story.  I think, though, that I would at this point want to see where you're going with it, you know?  Introduce a serious point of tension, maybe, or a huge conflict between the two.  

Because, you know, it's way too early to be so happy. lol

You really do have an eye for detail and I know you've got more plot-significant points up ahead. I just think the pacing could be improved by introducing them earlier.  But then, you know my fondness for cliffhangers and driving my readers nuts. :)

I really am so pleased this is here and look forward to the next installment!

Author's Response:

Thank you for the suggestions, LJ!  I really, really appreciate the feedback!  After I wrote the story and began reading it in its entirety I realized the first 2-3 chapters are a bit mushy and boring.  I wasn't sure how to adjust it at the time, but any future stories I write will definitely have some type of conflict, or at least a hint at one, toward the beginning of the story!

Thanks so much for the rating!! :)