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Reviewer: Carlisle060 (Signed) · Date: December 23, 2009 01:45 AM · On: one-shot
this was well written .
i wanted to read more , this was interesting.
:)
Reviewer: Anya Cullen (Signed) · Date: December 19, 2009 12:57 AM · On: one-shot
Love the story. I was always curious about the plane ride, and you made it perfect.
Reviewer: Essay33 (Signed) · Date: December 18, 2009 12:27 PM · On: one-shot
Very nicely done. It is difficult to write compellingly from multiple perspectives, and you did a fine job with that. I especially like the little detail of Bella rubbing Edward's hand the way he often did to calm her. I imagine she's picked up a number of Edward's traits without realizing it, as couples often do.
At the end of the fourth paragraph, you wrote, "But once he came back from wherever he had gone in his mind, the fear was almost permeable." I think you meant "palpable," as "permeable" doesn't make sense in context (his fear was capable of being penetrated?).
You've given us a very engaging first fanfic. I look forward to reading more of your work!
Reviewer: Burntcore (Signed) · Date: December 18, 2009 11:51 AM · On: one-shot
Yay! Your story made it here finally! *Does a happy dance*
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