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Reviews For Kept From Destiny
Reviewer: mrs-J-Hale (Signed) · Date: September 03, 2010 02:08 PM · On: Chapter 7

OH MY GOD, that was a brilliant take on the meeting and i can totally picture it, the sex scene was good too lol keep it coming, no pun intended hahahaha xxx



Author's Response:

Thanks!  Glad you liked it.  I've been a little stuck on the following chapter but I hope to have it completed and posted within the next few weeks :)

Reviewer: baebin (Signed) · Date: May 05, 2010 05:28 AM · On: Chapter 7

SO WONDERFUL! please continue, i've been traumatized by authors abandoning their fics and leaving me wanting. DON'T ADD TO MY EMOTIONAL SCARS!!

Reviewer: mothlights (Signed) · Date: April 14, 2010 07:58 PM · On: Chapter 5

I was afraid Alice was going to leave immediately, and then she gave him his own line about keeping her waiting. I like the turnaround where it's Alice that's kept him waiting, because of the switch in how they meet.

I liked the interaction between Alice and Edward. Those two have such an interesting dynamic to me, with him seeing her visions and her blocking her thoughts. 

And of course am hoping for her to get a vision in which she can stay with the Cullens... though at this point I can't imagine Jasper will be ok with just letting her go without some way to find her again... we'll see...

Thanks for posting.

Reviewer: mothlights (Signed) · Date: March 12, 2010 07:15 AM · On: Chapter 3

What a great reply to my earlier review. I agree on all counts. And like you said, you're already AU, so having them meet in a way that works best for this is better than rehashing the meeting from the books. 

I hadn't realized you had 3 chapters up that I haven't read (should have - you're in my favs). I'm running 2 stories at once, but only 1 chapter left on one of them, and them I'm going on a reading spree. Will certainly be back for more. Thanks.

Reviewer: chibi_estefy (Signed) · Date: February 19, 2010 01:57 PM · On: Chapter 7

Aaaw, I don't want Alice to leave them again >_<. Can't wait for next chapter!! =D



Author's Response:

Thanks.  I'm working on the next chapter now.  Hopefully, barring any sudden blocks or strains on my time, it should be up within a week.  If not less.  :)

Reviewer: sevanderslice (Signed) · Date: February 18, 2010 03:13 PM · On: Chapter 1

This is so wonderful!  I actually ache for Alice as she feels the need to go back to James.  It makes the image of Alice ripping James's head off in the Twilight movie that much for satisfying.

I eagerly wait or more.



Author's Response:

Thanks for the review :) I'm planning on hopefully having the next chapter done and sumbitted for approval by the end of the week at the earliest, or the end of the month at the very latest.

As for the image of movie-Alice.......weellllllllllll.......I can't go into too much detail, since that would be spoiling things.....But....let me just say you should keep that image in mind.  Mind you, this is just me speaking out of possibilities.  Some thoughts I've had for the future of this story and possible resolutions/conclusions.  Soooooo, I'm not saying anything definitie....But, I could be dipping into some imagery from the movie to inspire one or two things later on down the road :D

Reviewer: hkmmurph (Signed) · Date: February 18, 2010 06:14 AM · On: Chapter 7

I'm so glad you updated, and it was totally worth the wait! :D

But now I'm curious as to what James is going to do. Well, I'm a little more than curious. I wanna know now. >.>

Reviewer: dnabgeek (Signed) · Date: February 18, 2010 01:48 AM · On: Chapter 7

this is really good so far... can't wait to read more :)

Reviewer: mothlights (Signed) · Date: December 22, 2009 09:02 PM · On: Chapter 4

Loved Jasper's perspective. I was really hoping Alice was going to make it there before James figured out she was gone. I'm not surprised that Edward and Jasper were good friends. With Jasper arriving alone, he and E would be the only ones in the family who knew what it felt like to be so aware of others and to be without a mate. 

Reviewer: mothlights (Signed) · Date: December 17, 2009 09:37 PM · On: Chapter 3

Loved the spark of defiance in hiding visions from James. And the lack of dialogue makes her seem even more isolated. So Jasper finds the Cullens alone, and it's after Alice sees him that she gets the courage to run off. That works better for this than finding him first. Looking forward to more.



Author's Response:

Hey, sorry for responding out of the blue well after you made this comment.  I was reading over the reviews and just felt like responding to something you said here.  I'm glad you liked the idea of Jasper finding the Cullens on his own.  I had actually toyed with the idea of it happening the other way around---Alice deciding 'eff this, I'm off to find him' and then the two of them joining the Cullens togehter.  But, two three (lol one came to mind as I was writing the first one) things stopped me:

A. That would be too much like what actually happened between them in the books.  Not the James part of course, but the whole him being lost and lonely+her waiting for him or seeking him out+them embarking on the new life togehter.  Since this is an alternative take to the books we know and love, I just felt that their meeting had to be alternative as well.

B. (continuation of A), going along with Jasper's pre-Cullen state (both in book and in this story), in the fic, Alice really isn't any better.  She's lost, lonely, isolated as all get, pretty broken, etc etc.  I think, looking back, perhaps there was some subconcious part of me that felt like.....there is no possible way these two can meet up like this, and in any way shape or form be productive.  It would've been way too easy for them to just be like......meh, we're together, we'll hunt humans, hide/run from James, and just be happy together even though we're both pretty damaged.  I needed one of them to be, if not totally okay, at least remarkably less un-okay, for them to even have the faintest hope of possibly having a chance to work.  Jasper being with the Cullens, as you see in the following chapter, doesn't neccesarily make him 100% a-ok, but he's less lost and willing to attempt to stick to a new lifestyle.

C. I felt like--given how much Alice fears James--for her to overtly defy him (as supposed to just subtly doing so by keeping things from him and manipulating him as she had been doing) by leaving, there had to be some serious fire behind it.  Wanting and yearning for him is pretty powerful, sure, but there needed to be more.  In seeing Jasper with the Cullens, she's seeing him kind of in a sense, have the chance she can't have.  He's come across them, whereas she can't go to them even though she's had visions about them and wants to be part of that family.  She sees him having a good life with the Cullens, and in loving him, seeing him throw that away would not only bother her in the ways I mentioned in the chapter (not wanting him to go back to being alone), but also bothered her in the sense of "you have this, I don't, I won't let you be an idiot and ruin it for yourself".  So, that was enough for her to finally go to him.

 

Haha, sorry for the uber long reply/explaination of my motives, haha.

Reviewer: mothlights (Signed) · Date: December 17, 2009 09:21 PM · On: Chapter 2

Hard to read about Alice killing a child, but again the writing is very well done, and James is exactly as I would expect him to be. Thanks for posting. 

Reviewer: mothlights (Signed) · Date: December 03, 2009 06:08 PM · On: Chapter 1

ch 1 - I just found this on the 'pimp someone else's story' thread in the forum. Glad I did, though dang it's hard to read about James all over her in the first ch! Poor Alice. Can't wait to read more.

Reviewer: GoldenNomad (Signed) · Date: November 28, 2009 04:39 PM · On: Chapter 4

Absolutely Loved this chapter! Had to grab a couple tissues. :)

Reviewer: Diana_in_Houston (Signed) · Date: November 14, 2009 06:30 AM · On: Chapter 5

What a great take on Alice / Jasper!  Alice is still changed by a sympathetic vampire to protect her from James, and Alice's protector is destroyed for his efforts.  It makes perfect sense for James to then act as he does in your tale.  James is a tracker, and of course he would have tracked the newborn Alice.  James would be lonely and intrigued.

I don't know exactly how to characterize their relationship ... abuser / victim?  mentor / protegee?  leader / subject?  Their "relationship" is multifaceted, definitely disfunctional and  abusive but also extremely well written.

It's criminal that such a great story has so few reviews, so here's mine.  I noticed though that even though there aren't a lot of reviews (yet)  that your tale has gotten the attention and support of some pretty impressive fellow authors, and that's worth a lot.



Author's Response:

Thank you for your review and insight :)  I think in writing the dynamics of their relationship, I used a combination of the examples you've stated but the main one of course, having been stated a few times within the story--is sort of jailor/captive.  He doesn't actually care for her but she can't leave.

Aw, thanks so much for the thought.  As it is, I'm grateful for the reviews and attention I've gotten.  When I started writing this, I sort of had a feeling it wouldn't get a lot of reviews, the darker depictions of things might've steered people away, so I'm definately not one to pout over lack of reviews.  So, with that sort of feeling of 'okay, don't expect a landslide of reviews, and don't take lack of review as indication that my writing or the story are not good' each review I've gotten, my little heart has been warmed more and more and I am happy that people have enjoyed my little tale enough to drop me a little message.  :)

Reviewer: evrythingmusic1 (Signed) · Date: November 14, 2009 06:13 AM · On: Chapter 5

Aw poor Alice, she's almost like Bella in a way but she can't resist Jasper for long, nobody can! hehe :)

Reviewer: nats_twilight (Signed) · Date: November 14, 2009 04:41 AM · On: Chapter 5

please please please make her stay

Reviewer: JayJayHale (Signed) · Date: November 09, 2009 11:07 AM · On: Chapter 4

Nicely done...I like how you reframed from actually using the word 'ppixie'. Its over done so kudos to you there. There was something that bothered me...in the first paragraph you used the phrase "hellish war' three times...it was a little distracting.

 

Have you thought about a banner? I could make one for you if you don't feel up to it!

 

Look forward to the next chapter...

 

JayJayHale



Author's Response:

Yeah while writing I was like "am NOT going to use 'pixie', am NOT going to use 'pixie'...not at all" heh.

Oh wow, yeah if you'd be willing to make a banner, that would be amazing!  I posted an entry on my livejournal a few days ago asking if anyone on my friends' list would be willing but alas no takers.  I was going to do one myself except my graphic making skills are...eh...I do make lj icons and have attempted to make lj headers, but yeah my skills are meh, haha.  So, yeah, a banner would be several types of incredible, thank you!

I've made some strides with the following chapter, so it might be completed by tomorrow (*fingers crossed*)

Reviewer: JayJayHale (Signed) · Date: November 09, 2009 01:15 AM · On: Chapter 3

Okay so you should totally thank Totoro for sending me over here to read this. She has been singing your praises like a canary and I have to agree with her. While the begining seems slow and there are certain things that one needs to get used to...this is really good.

 

Your a good writer and don't feel to disappointed that you are not getting the reviews. I can tall you some of the reasons why. First: there is not a lot of dialogue...though I am sure this will change in the future but many people respond better when there is dialogue. Second: This is obviously a Alice/Jasper fic with James as a secondary character. The whole idea is very awesome but most people are E/B fans. 

Now the story looks like it is about to warm up and I am eager to see where you take it. I am favouriting you because I am now really interested...Just like Totoro said I would be. Funny that girls has some precog herself me thinks!

I will continue to pimp you out if you continue to write...deal?

See you next chapter!

 

JayJayHale



Author's Response:

Oh I am definately grateful for Totoro's endorsement, haha.  When she told me she was reccing the fic I was touched. 

I haven't been too upset by the lack of reviews, I sort of figured that the darker subject matter might've been turning people away from reviewing or something, was just happy to have it up and hope people were reading it and giving it a chance :) Of course, I am pleased as punch to be recieving reviews :-D

Haha, that sounds like a fine deal to me, thank you!  I submitted the 4th chapter for review last night so after Totoro gives it the green light it'll be up :)  That's the last completed chapter at the moment but I'll try to have the fifth chapter completed this week.  Thanks again for your readership and review :)

Reviewer: Killerbunys (Signed) · Date: November 08, 2009 02:24 PM · On: Chapter 1

Very nice!  You capture the inital blankness for Alice very well.  Nicely done.

Perfect Alice isn't realistic.  As a newborn with no memory of her human life, she wouldn't understand that she needed to abstain from drinking human blood. 

It's early yet, but so far I like  your take on James.  James was a monster and killing machine, but I was always fascinated with his knowledge of Alice, and I wished it was something SM had explored more.  The scene at the end was uncomfortable, but plausible.  The relationship between James/Victoria had a lot to do with sex after the kill and less about his emotional attachment to her.

Kudos for taking on a pairing other than E/B.  Don't take it personally that you haven't gotten tons of reviews, it has nothing to do with the quality of your writing.



Author's Response:

Thanks for the review :)

 

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