Wow. Where do you start reviewing a chapter like this? As I read, I highlighted in red the parts that stood out to me… …now I can see a few black words scattered here and there (like “the” and “and”) - grmmpfh!
I liked the recap – especially Cécile’s rant! ;D
I appreciate Edward’s attempts to watch over Bella without violating her privacy, which he has done so appallingly in the past! A step in the right direction?
<< From the cover of forest, he looked across the field at the stalwart house, glimpsing a stream of rainwater dripping from the corner gutter. He wondered when the session would start. >>
I love the detail! You invoke such vivid images in your readers’ minds.
<< Bella's eyes looked duller, flatter against the hollowed out circles beneath them >>
Oh dear. That doesn’t sound good! Does it have to do with the events at the meadow…? She’s wasting away, wallowing in her own self pity! (?)
<< "Sure, sure," she listlessly replied, cringing when she found herself using Jacob's typical response. >>
hmm… this has to do with Jacob…
<< Knowing that Laurent and Victoria were after her, the less time she spent by Charlie's side, the better. …(or Nina for that matter). >>
Ever thinking about her dad or other people. I wonder what she’s doing to try and protect herself. Or is she merely biding her time, waiting for the inevitable?
<< Charlie settled into his police-officer-interrogation look. "I want to ask you about Jacob Black." >>
Oh wow. This feels inappropriate – she’s related to the boy; is he going to ask her, as Bella’s psychologist, personal questions about him? Charlie’s straight into police mode!
<< "Um, Charlie, I should probably let you know first that I'm going to share our conversation with Bella. >>
He’s making her nervous! ;)
<< Bells knows most of what I'm gonna say, anyway. We've been going over the Jacob situation for some time now." >>
*can imagine the parental nagging!*
<< "So you can tell Bella what I say, but not vice versa?" >>
Touchy! (and yes! ;)
<< It's just that I'm not sure I'll know the answers to your questions. The Blacks . . . they don't get along so well with my family." >>
Delving into her personal life, ‘ey, Charlie?!
<< Charlie instantly felt like an idiot. How could he have forgotten that Nina's father was responsible for Billy being in a wheelchair? >>
Oh, he forgot. I suppose he hasn’t thought through this (personal) line of questioning, properly…
<< Thinking he was apologizing for bringing up a taboo subject >>
As he should! Silly man.
<< "I'm sorry for your loss. You must miss your dad." ~ Wounded obsidian eyes blinked at him. "He was a hard man," she said eventually. "He . . . well, we didn't have the best father-daughter relationship." >>
Wow, okay. That’s more information than he asked for! Obsidian, huh? I like to use Microsoft Word’s “synonym” function to help me understand the meaning of unfamiliar words. With you, I have to use the “Thesaurus”!
<< I don't want Bella saying that about me one day." >>
He’s lucky, then, that Renee re-married and that Bella took it upon herself to move in with her father. Otherwise, she would have finished growing up without him! (I don’t think “holiday parents” can know their offspring all that well.) That’s one thing about Charlie: he seemed content to just carry on in Forks, fulfilling his police duties, whilst his daughter grew up far away. He seems like a caring man, though – I suppose he’s just passive.
<< "She won't. Do you know how much she loves you, Charlie? So much. You bringing her here, trying to help her . . . though she won't admit it, I think it means a lot to her." >>
Not so passive anymore! :D *thanks to Ms Lane, not to Ms Meyer :-x *
<< …the only way she keeps going is because of Jake, and because of you. …now Jacob won't have anything to do with her, and I'm seeing it happen all over again - that zombie look, the nightmares . . . it's pretty bad." >>
Jake too!! I wonder why… Because of the changes going on in his life? Because the pack is isolating? Perhaps to protect her? (Not another one!) Could he be upset with her for something Edward-related…..?
<< "Jacob was Bella's friend?" ~ I was so relieved that she was coming out of her shell - and now he won't return any of her phone calls." >>
That sucks. Yet teenage friends are known to fight – and be upset and/or get over it – without black hole suction draining all the life out of them. :/
<< Do you know why?" ~ "Billy won't tell me >>
There’s nothing like parents getting involved in teenage squabbles! (Let them resolve it themselves!)
<< I suspect it's something to do with the friend/boyfriend thing you just asked about. Jacob wants to be more than a friend, I think, but Bella doesn't see it that way . . . or maybe she's too broken to see it that way . . ." He looked anguished. "That damn Edward Cullen. If I could get my hands around his neck, I'd, I'd . . ." >>
I think she’s starting to see that, Charlie. Now I know that any father would think that a boy deserves a smack for dumping their precious daughter but, come on, couples break up all the time. People are sad, but then they pick up the pieces and carry on. You CANNOT blame Edward (a “teenage boy”) for *apparently* not being his daughter’s soul mate for ever and ever and ever and… *gags* Bella needs to learn how to deal with life’s knocks.
<< "What did you want to ask me about Jacob?" ~ Charlie rested his elbows on his knees and leaned forward. "How trustworthy is he?" >> << "And Sam?" Charlie interrupted. "Sam Uley? What do you know about him?" >>
Back into interrogation mode!
<< He was a really cute kid, big smiles, very friendly . . ." her voice drifted off, remembering her son Adam playing with Jacob on the beach, both toddling around in sand-covered diapers, the pale sun glinting off their brown skin . . . >>
Aw, fond memories of better times. :(
<< "I believe the elders of the tribe hold Sam in high esteem, according to my mother. >>
How old is Sam? *her source is in Denmark* Oh wait, my source came through! :)
<< why all these questions, Charlie? You probably know the answers better than me. You're friends with Billy and Uncle Harry, right?" >>
So true! Nina’s is far outside the Quileute inner circle!
<< "Geez," he cracked a wry grin. "Sometimes I forget Harry Clearwater's your uncle. You sure make me feel old, Nina." >>
I never thought about an age difference! How big is it? Nina is in her mid 30s and Charlie his early 40s?
<< her smile slowly faded. "You're not old at all. You were very spry and strong that night . . ." she swallowed hard, a look of fear shadowing her face, "that night you saved me." >>
Wow - Nina’s really not afraid to bring up personal topics!
<< He squirmed a bit on the sofa, looking younger than his age and reminding Nina of his daughter. "Uh, just about anyone would've done what I did." >>
So like him! What he said is true – at least I hope so. But his help is not something that Nina will forget!
<< She gazed at him fondly. "You were there. Thank you." >.
I wonder how many times she’s thanked him for this…
<< I've got a theory about what's going on with those Quileute boys, and I wanted to run it by you." ~ Nina nodded, seeming to gather herself after strolling through painful memories. She looked intrigued. ~ …I think those boys have gotten into steroids." >>
HA HA! Not a bad theory, Charlie! How else could one explain their unusually rapid physical changes?! (Now, is this a Ms Lane, or a Ms Meyer, idea?) (Never mind, my source came through again. Great idea! *pats you on the back* :)
<< "I just got a crime report from D.C. about steroids - they're at an all-time high >>
You, Jen, would know a thing or two about steroids! ;) *You and your co-worker’s husband!* :o
<< Billy says Jake's been sick, with mono, but I think that's crap. >>
Do you think he’s lying, Chalie?? Is Billy in on the ruse? (Must be!)
<< Have you seen how big that boy's gotten?" ~ "I did see him pumping gas last month," Nina answered. "He's shot up like a pine tree." >>
As do all teenage boys when they hit a growth spurt!
<< have you seen the size of his arms? Ain't no way that's natural." >>
Well you’re right there, Charlie!
<< "Sam's the damn ringleader, far as I can tell. Bella told me that Sam's got a little cult, and one by one the Quileute boys are joining it." >>
And there again! A cult, huh? That’s quite an accusation. I’m learning more and more about the dynamics of this wolf pack…
<< Recalling Sue's frantic phone call, worried about Seth's behavioral changes, Nina slowly nodded, putting the pieces together. >>
YES!
<< "Steroids can cause excessive irritability, rage even." ~ …Charlie looked grim. "I don't want Bella around any of it, if it's true." >>
Ah, everyone wants to control little Bella. I suppose that it is her father’s responsibility to keep her away from bad influences. Unfortunately for Charlie, he’s SCREWED! The forces of darkness have surrounded her – it’s either the wolves or the vampires, now, dude! *admit defeat?!*
<< "Are you sure about this? Aunt Sue used to have Sam Uley babysit Leah and Seth, and she'd always say what a responsible young man Sam was. >>
Nina: the voice of cautious reason. :)
<< "No, I'm not sure, but you can bet I'm gonna investigate. >>
Ooh, the copper is on the case!
<< I'll get going so that Bells can have her time with you. She really needs it. Please help her." >>
The poor, helpless man. Sadly, he can’t help his daughter by simply roughing someone up! (that’s more up his alley!)
<< "I'll try, Charlie. Thanks for giving me that information. I'll keep my ears open about the steroids, okay?" >>
So diplomatic. The poor woman has a lot to deal with, with this client-family!
<< He fidgeted, nervously flapping his police uniform jacket, looking uncertain about the proper way to say goodbye to her. A vision flashed in his mind of her helplessly splayed across the hood of a car, crying out with fear and pain . . . ~ Nina reached out her hand, and Charlie took it gratefully, pumping the handshake with an anxious energy. "I'll go, then." Taking a glance around her office, he stepped out the door. >>
That’s definitely Charlie! Hopefully, though, should anything develop between the two of them, they’ll stop seeing each other primarily as “the hero” and “the victim”.
<< "Come on in," Nina warmly said. >>
*likes her* :)
<< Bella managed to make it over to the sofa without tripping, and she collapsed onto the cushions. Instinctively she clutched her ribcage, feeling a deep loneliness burning a hole inside of her. >>
Ugh. Oh Bella, something is seriously wrong with you! (Bring on the heavy drugs!)
<< The melodious strains of Bach filled Edward's ears, thankfully mesmerizing him enough to block out the departing words between Charlie and Nina inside the house. >>
I wondered about that!! *fondly remembers the time when her mother said something forceful about her sister’s boyfriend a split second before he knocked on the door – now THAT went down well!* Edward punishes himself enough without contemplating Bella’s father’s opinion of him!
<< The classical music selections on his iPod seemed to work better at distracting him than the modern songs. Any classical tune seemed familiar and comforting, as long as he steered clear of "Clair de Lune"… >>
The old soul. :) Sorry, I mean the old soulless undead. *groupie sigh* :)
<< He should've never taken that car ride with her, when she'd begun to piece together what he was. He should've never returned to Forks, letting himself seep into her life like a proliferating bloodstain. Now her precious life was in grave danger, all because of his selfishness. >>
Yay for “proliferating bloodstain”! You took the words straight out my mouth, Fred! ;) Her life IS in a terrible mess right now… :s …But who could foresee Victoria and James coming into town. (*it suddenly hits her* Alice? Let’s blame Alice! ;) There’s no point in blaming yourself for the actions of others.
<< the music did not drown out the soft gallop thumping the earth beneath him. >>
Victoria?! The wolves?!
<< Edward perked up his head, slowly peeling off the earphones, causing some conversation to drift across the field to the forest that concealed his presence. Apparently Bella had replaced Charlie on the therapy couch. ~ "Your father's worried about you, Bella. The nightmares have returned?" ~ "Yes," Bella whispered. … Edward's grimace >>
I love the way that your parallel scenes overlap. :) A natural, realistic Edward POV.
I’ll have to sum up my thoughts regarding the rest of the chapter because every word was intense:
I LOVED the meeting between Edward and the pack! It is so well written! You should direct a movie! *can see (and smell) (and hear!) the scene* Then again, the books are always better. ;)
Can wolves speak or is all their communication telepathic? i.e. Is Edward the only non-pack member who can communicate with them? …Never mind. *got her answer* ;)
It’s intriguing to read about the wolves and their interactions with the vampires… *should read New Moon already!* ;)
Tense standoff!!!!!!
So Sam’s the level headed one. A natural leader. *grateful that Sam assumed the leadership role despite Jacob’s heritage* Yes, I got that from my source too. ;)
*dejected sigh* Bella has degenerated – she’s as bad as she was before. (Worse?)
She dreams of a “graceful, bitter” Jacob? …it’s almost prophetic. Makes me wonder about her potential future vampire ‘gifts’… *even though, yes, I know about the shield*
At least she realises that she was effectively leading Jacob on.
Maybe Jacob’s better off with Sam?? Friendship shouldn’t be isolating; Jacob should be able to be friends with both of them (…unless something unhealthy is going on?!)
Interesting outsider perspective on the pack! They look like a cloned army?!
Ugh, dive off a cliff, whiner! ;D
Poor Nina, she sure has her hands full! *hopes that she earns the big bucks!*
Despondent, sarcastic Bella. I feel as though she needs to witness some of the real suffering that’s out there – to wake her up and make her see that her self-involved, teensy little world isn’t as cataclysmic as she thinks!
<< "Stay away from cliffs, Bella." ~ "Sure, sure." >> Ah, but the whole series is about her jumping off that cliff.
Whoa, I wasn’t this negative / harsh to her in my head when I read it the first time! I just despair.
<< 'Cause you'll heal over…. someday >> I hope it’s soon. For everyone involved. What ARE you going to do with her?! We need her whole before she reunites with Edward!
<< I’m eager to show you what I’ve planned. *rubs hands together excitedly* >>
*eyes you with suspicion* hmm…. I can’t wait to see what you have up your sleeve! :D
I love this story, Jen. Well deserving of its award. :)
Author's Response: You weren't joking when you said this was the longest review ever! I got some comments over on fan fic that it felt like a filler chapter, just setting things up, so I'm a little surprised (but pleased) you got so much out of it.
Yay for Edward not eavesdropping this time, yeesch. Thank you for pointing out that passage you liked about the leaking gutter.
<< Ever thinking about her dad or other people. I wonder what she’s doing to try and protect herself. Or is she merely biding her time, waiting for the inevitable? >>
More than you know. And we'll find out what the inevitable is soon.
Actually, I don't think Nina's related to the Blacks, but Charlie's questioning is obviously still uncomfortable.
<< He’s lucky, then, that Renee re-married and that Bella took it upon herself to move in with her father. Otherwise, she would have finished growing up without him! (I don’t think “holiday parents” can know their offspring all that well.) That’s one thing about Charlie: he seemed content to just carry on in Forks, fulfilling his police duties, whilst his daughter grew up far away. He seems like a caring man, though – I suppose he’s just passive >>
Excellent point! I kind of like to think that Charlie has missed Bella terribly, but his low self-esteem as a father prevented him from insisting on seeing her. He couldn't help it that she hated Forks. But he could have fought harder for her.
<< Jake too!! I wonder why… Because of the changes going on in his life? Because the pack is isolating? Perhaps to protect her? (Not another one!) Could he be upset with her for something Edward-related…..? >>
This is pretty funny. It's straight from canon, so it's not a big mystery, ha ha. Jake has been aloof because he's not allowed to tell Bella that he's a werewolf, and he fears Bella rejecting him b/c he's a monster. Too bad he doesn't realize that she's drawn to freak shows!
<< People are sad, but then they pick up the pieces and carry on. You CANNOT blame Edward (a “teenage boy”) for *apparently* not being his daughter’s soul mate for ever and ever and ever and… *gags* Bella needs to learn how to deal with life’s knocks. >>
You tell her, Nixy! *laughs about future chapters*
<< I never thought about an age difference! How big is it? Nina is in her mid 30s and Charlie his early 40s? >>
Their age difference isn't huge. I think Nina is 40 and I'm guessing Charlie's around 45ish? But because Nina's mother Wuti Clearwater Whitefish is significantly older than her brother Harry, it kind of makes the ages weird.
I'm glad you liked my steroid story! And that your Denmark connection let you know it was Ms. Lane and not Ms. Meyer's. ;)
<< Ah, everyone wants to control little Bella. I suppose that it is her father’s responsibility to keep her away from bad influences. Unfortunately for Charlie, he’s SCREWED! The forces of darkness have surrounded her – it’s either the wolves or the vampires, now, dude! *admit defeat?!* >>
Hee hee. Bella won't be controlled, not by her father, not by Jacob, and not by Edward either!
<< The poor woman has a lot to deal with, with this client-family! >>
Really? This family's a piece of cake compared to some of my clients! :D
<< The old soul. :) Sorry, I mean the old soulless undead. >> *groupie sigh* :)
ROFL!
<< I LOVED the meeting between Edward and the pack! It is so well written! >>
Yayyy! Thank you, Nixy. There actually wasn't much interaction between the wolves and vamps in New Moon. More in Eclipse, though. That's why it was fun to write Edward interacting with the wolves here.
<< Ugh, dive off a cliff, whiner! ;D >>
Ha ha ha.
Despondent, sarcastic Bella. I feel as though she needs to witness some of the real suffering that’s out there – to wake her up and make her see that her self-involved, teensy little world isn’t as cataclysmic as she thinks!
Man, you are on her case! Smack her good for me.
I'm eager to write the next chapter, maybe next weekend. Reviews like yours are intensely motivating! Thank you so much for following my blog, writing these stellar reviews, and being so encouraging. It means a lot to me! xx
