Wow!  I loved this chapter!!!  I'm really worried now!  Poor Bella! She's so confused!!! awwww wishing she never moved to Forks breaks my heart! 

This was such a touching chapter!!! I loved every minute of it

AAhh this chapter was so hard!! I love the way you wrote some of the parts: "a bright meadow, a stormy field, a ballet studio, a broken mirror, a broken promise, a broken heart…" my heart clenched when I read that line.

I love that Bella doesn't believe him, it's so much more realistic (sorry SM) than the NM version. She should be in shock, and she should be angry!! I just hope she realizes the truth soon... I can imagine this whole conversation is rather awkward, especially for Edward, with his whole family sitting around.  I also loved the way you kept in what is probably my favorite line from all of NM, "Truly, I do." You kept it there but in a different way, like he's answering a question instead of confirming Bella's belief.

Poor Edward, though... I feel so bad for him. He's gone through so much and now it's going to be even harder on him until Bella believes him. Please tell me she eventually believes him!! Lol... update soon, I'm dying to know!! ;o)

Great chapter. I like the way Bella hasn't just completely forgiven him yet. She's right: you aren't supposed to treat a loved one that way. Hope someone has a Kleenex. She deserves time to think things through with a whole box of them. It was very well written and has given me things to think about. Thanks for writing.

I read this all in one sitting and i loved it! It was so well done! Your writing moved me to tears! The flow that you had to your story was amazing. This is one of the best fan fics I have ever read. I love how you write emotionally so that the reader can really connect with the characters! I am hooked on this story! The time and effort you put in this is evident.

'I’ve hurt you.” he repeated. “In ways that I can see in your face, and in ways that are hidden from me. Every mark on you body, every bruise, every scrape, I feel. Every tear that runs down you cheek in a pain that runs through my heart… it‘s, excruciating… and yet it isn‘t enough. I can’t live with myself, knowing that I’m responsible. I don’t deserve the gift of getting to see your face again, and yet I can‘t look away. I can’t leave you again. I can’t stop loving you. I know that you can’t trust me now, I know that maybe the mistakes I’ve made are irreversible. Maybe you can’t return my feelings anymore, but Bella, you have to know that they haven’t changed…'

SO perfectly written!

 

awww....i really like the last paragraph....

i know exactly where you are coming from with your son.  i have 2 boys of my own who are both about to turn 4 and 1.  both of them are already obsessed with computers, laptop or desktop.  can't so anything without one or both getting into it. 

all that is to say, take your time.  and i love your story.  i can't wait for the next chapter.

Chasing after a toddler and trying to type. Gah!

I have been enjoying your alternate take on the ending of New Moon. To me the book ended far too quickly and it really bothered me that Bella took him back after one pretty speech and blamed herself for the break up.I thought the ending was rushed. And after all that Bella had been through emotionally, it really really bothered me that SM wrote her as instantly being cured of depression and suicidal tendencies simply because she was standing in Edward's presence. Please continue with your story. You have lots of room to cover in showing how forgiveness happens between the two that SM just skimmed over.

 

So I like that you have her get mad. In terms of constructive criticism - you have a unique situation here that I think you can expand in the next chapter. Edward obviously knows that he has greviously wronged Bella and wants to make amends - is desperate to alleviate her suffering. Considering how overprotective he is of her - we have to see the emotional fallout on Edward of her being harmed and him not being able to stop it. The whole reason NM happened in the first place was because Edward considered himself to be the main threat to her safety. Here you have him literally having to be there while she is harmed - so we need to see how he handles that issue. It's not something that can, I think be written about in just one chapter. That's fodder for your sequel.

At the same time, Bella has literally just been tortured. I don't think she is capable at the time of really processing anything. So Edward is throwing all of this information at her, complicated emotional information - and frankly - she's not in any shape to really listen to him. I like the irony of the situation. I do think that in the next chapter - as well as in the sequel you mentioned, you need to expand on the physical and psychological ramifications of what she's been through and how that impacts her reaction to Edward.

I just love that you have her not trust him and be mad. Good for you! Keep writing! Best, Books

Truely amazing.. Wonderful job, and a sequal would be excellent!! Thank you for taking the time to write this!

she will have to settle for edwaeds shirt cause vampires dont carry kleenex...

Wow, what a very emotional chapter to read first thing on a Saturday morning.  Very well written, it was good to see the thought process of Bella and as much as this seemed to emotionally drain me, I loved how at the end you made me laugh with the wishing for a kleenex. :)

I don't feel so anxious waiting on the next chapter...but that doesn 't mean I don't want you to update right now, it just means my fingernails are safe right now ;)

<gasp> you cannot seriously just leave it at that??  How can I have a nice twilight when I need to read more??

Come back!!!!!  Update update update!