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Reviewer: leeseeq (Signed) · Date: August 19, 2010 09:34 AM · On: Revenge

To me this scene was a little out of character for Edward and also for Bella.   I don't think she woulf be feeling genuine fear of Edward like she was in this scene.  I agree that she should have called him on his behavior  in a couple of scenes in the books but even without that his DID learn, as he was learning to be more human himself.  This was an interesting take on the scene though.

Reviewer: welshcakes68 (Signed) · Date: May 26, 2010 02:53 AM · On: Forgiveness

Loved that Kleenex line.  Yes,she can be a bit of a dormat sometimes.  The term 'pet' I always thought was kind of accurate.  I'm definately going to go check out the window one cause you are right. Just....no. *WC68*

Reviewer: mrsgunsage (Signed) · Date: May 22, 2010 09:45 AM · On: Forgiveness

Oh HELLS yes, that was much better!!! 

 

I hate Canon Bella for her "roll over and take it" persona.  There are SO many scenes that could be rewritten to not set women back about 200 years...

Reviewer: VictoriaCullen (Signed) · Date: May 21, 2010 02:23 PM · On: Forgiveness

W-O-W! I loved, loved, loved this!  I did always feel like Edward was a little smothering at times--even though I understood it. 

Reviewer: Sweetpea123 (Signed) · Date: May 20, 2010 06:17 AM · On: Forgiveness

Yes, I would like another fic in this series because I enjoyed this one so much. Thanks, great job!

Reviewer: Gelsamina (Signed) · Date: May 19, 2010 12:39 PM · On: Forgiveness

I'm interested in another Loose Canon story



Author's Response:

I'll see what I can do. :o) Thanks for reviewing!

Reviewer: dumbbrunette_2006 (Signed) · Date: May 19, 2010 11:12 AM · On: Forgiveness

Good story...it did make me frustraded that bella just let him off the hook with the hole tailgating thing and i think you should do another loose canon.  it would make my day if u did



Author's Response:

It's definitely on my list of stories to write. The scene where she left her window open after he dismantled her truck drove me insane. But I'm glad you liked this one, and thanks for reviewing!

Reviewer: aneka2010 (Signed) · Date: May 19, 2010 09:52 AM · On: Forgiveness

Wow!  this is better than the one Stephanie Meyer wrote in her book.

Excellent writing



Author's Response:

Thanks a lot! I hated that scene with a passion and had to rewrite it so Edward didn't get away with being an ass. Glad you enjoyed!

Reviewer: shishi167111 (Signed) · Date: April 11, 2010 08:16 AM · On: Revenge

continue! continue! continue! :) i love this story ssoo much ive now read it 3 or 4 times now lol....yes im a little obssessed, but who cant be??!! :)

suggestions: i think it would be really dank if ya got Bella to start laughing while Carlisle is looking over her, and have Bella spill the beans; that she caused the wreck.....haha! lets see Edward's face then....Bella can act??...



Author's Response:

I could see Bella laughing, because she's still giddy after the narrow miss she had with Edward, but Carlisle doesn't exactly evoke humor during these situations. Sorry I didn't reply sooner; I only just got around to updating over here. Thanks for your review!

Reviewer: Isabelli_mari (Signed) · Date: March 16, 2010 03:08 AM · On: Revenge

please continue, i'm begging you!!!!



Author's Response:

Well, I'm so happy you liked it enough to want a continuation! The second chapter will be posted here before too long. Thanks for reviewing!

Reviewer: Olinka (Signed) · Date: February 16, 2010 12:50 PM · On: Revenge

hehe, that's right :)



Author's Response:

Someone needed to take Edward down a peg. XD Second chapter will be posted here soon!

Reviewer: Essay33 (Signed) · Date: January 03, 2010 07:23 AM · On: Revenge

I only just now read this, so forgive the late review please!

I'm of two minds about what you've done here...your writing is as always excellent. And I do think that Edward was overbearing in his behavior regarding Bella's desire to visit La Push. The two really needed to talk honestly about the situation, but when do teens--even 109 year old teens--ever talk truly honestly about their relationships?

What bothered me was the excessive payback in Bella deliberately causing Edward to wreck his car...that was a very SoCal "valley girl" thing to do. Not something I could envision the hyper cautious Bella Swan ever doing. She one-upped Edward with that act--no, she triple-upped him; he doesn't want her to visit another man, so she wrecks his beautiful car. Very unattractive juvenile behavior. Were you trying to make your readers hate her or empathize with her?

I take it you did not continue with this story? What would Bella's response have been to her truck's distributor cap removal? I'm afraid to ask, but I think the road she's on (no pun intended) is not going somewhere good. She's not establishing her independent adulthood, she's being secretly spiteful. Carlisle needs to ream BOTH of them out.

I liked reading the story though, even if it did make me cringe. Good writing is always a pleasure to read.

 



Author's Response:

"Secretly spiteful" is the key word here. When people are afraid to speak up, say if they're used to being silenced or fear some kind of retaliation, they tend to find passive-aggressive ways of getting their own back.

I like the series, of course, but Edward's behavior was borderline abusive, for me, at times. I know he loved her, but he was a very controlling personality. The visit to La Push and tampering with her truck -- and particularly her response to that, which was worse than any Harlequin heroine! -- was . . . no.

Now, the thing you have to consider with Bella here is that she (a) only had a few minutes to think, (b) knows Edward can't actually be hurt (I doubt she had time to consider that a fire might start), (c) knows a new Volvo is pocket change to him, and (d) is feeling very stung and wants to lash back.

It's not the smartest thing she ever did, but then again, she's been dealing with his control for a long time. If it were me, and I'd kept things bottled up that long for some reason, I'd be about ready to snap. So I was hoping readers would empathize . . . but also see that if she'd talked to him earlier, or gone to Carlisle, maybe it wouldn't have had to happen this way.

Then again, men like Edward are kind of mulish, so he might not have listened any other way . . .

I don't like the idea that girls read about Bella letting him control her (and leaving that gol-darned window open!) and think that's okay. It just isn't. Neither is this . . . but I think it's a little better than just driving to Angela's and apologizing to Edward later for sneaking off. :o)

Thanks so much for leaving such a detailed review! It's been a while since I focused so much thought on this oneshot. I was thinking that Carlisle's talk would be the next chapter, then a separate oneshot, maybe a "Loose Canon" series, about the truck incident . . . but I haven't gotten up the self-righteous anger to write that one yet!

Reviewer: lookingforhoofprints (Signed) · Date: December 21, 2009 02:58 PM · On: Revenge

Hahahaha, I NEED to see C-dog chewing Edward out. It would be epic.



Author's Response:

I'll see what the muse has to say. :o) Thanks for reviewing!

Reviewer: catharticone (Signed) · Date: October 18, 2009 03:36 PM · On: Revenge

Oh yes, please write one more chapter for this one!  I'd love to hear Carlisle's lecture.  And the series you have in mind sounds great, too.  I'm going to look forward to it!



Author's Response:

I'd love to get Carlisle's lecture, but . . . that's me. I don't think Eddie would agree. :o) We'll see what happens!

Reviewer: Nicka (Signed) · Date: October 10, 2009 07:04 PM · On: Revenge

Funny

Author's Response:

Thanks; I love to entertain!

Reviewer: shishishi (Signed) · Date: September 22, 2009 02:44 PM · On: Revenge

lol!!!!

ome that was perfect!!!! u better make another chapter



Author's Response:

I might end up doing that, or at least some other oneshots with the same idea (Bella standing up to Edward). Thanks for reviewing this one!

Reviewer: Kel-bel Cullen (Signed) · Date: September 22, 2009 08:19 AM · On: Revenge

Lol, this is hilarous!



Author's Response:

Thanks for your review! It makes me really happy when I can make other people laugh.

Reviewer: twimomof4girls (Signed) · Date: September 20, 2009 06:28 AM · On: Revenge

Yea!  A Bella with a backbone - even if she has to be devious to show it.  Love it!



Author's Response:

Sometimes, with a man like Edward, you have to go about things sideways. :o) Thanks for reviewing!

Reviewer: mzcullen (Signed) · Date: September 17, 2009 10:25 AM · On: Revenge

perfect; keep writing!



Author's Response:

I couldn't stop if I wanted to. :o) Thanks for reviewing!

Reviewer: catharticone (Signed) · Date: September 17, 2009 08:16 AM · On: Revenge

This is an excellent, interesting perspective that I wish we'd seen in the book.  Your first chapter is well-written, with nice dashes of angst and subtle  humor.  I love your attention to detail as you unfold the story gradually.  I hope you will continue this tale soon! 



Author's Response:

Thanks so much for your review. I had some fun with this, and it's good to hear that others were entertained as well.

What I might do with this one is add a chapter where Carlisle treats Bella and lectures Edward, but that would be it for this incident. I'm planning on a "Loose Canon" series, though, rewriting scenes like the one where Edward disables her truck so she can't visit Jake. She won't be leaving her window open in my version, rest assured. :o)

Reviewer: hc4metal (Signed) · Date: September 16, 2009 01:00 PM · On: Revenge

good story

made me laugh - bunny



Author's Response:

Thanks for the review! I live to entertain. :o)

Reviewer: scrider (Signed) · Date: September 16, 2009 11:15 AM · On: Revenge

I am enjoying your story! I am interested in seeing how these changes in Bella lead their relationship.

Update soon!

 

Sarah



Author's Response:

I do plan to continue this as a series, but just as unconnected oneshots. Glad you liked it, and thanks for reviewing!

Reviewer: spinifex (Signed) · Date: September 16, 2009 06:54 AM · On: Revenge

interesting - please continue!



Author's Response:

I believe I will, though when I'll be inspired to do so is up in the air. :o) Thanks for reviewing!

Reviewer: amazeofgrace (Signed) · Date: September 16, 2009 06:32 AM · On: Revenge

ok now I couldn't finish this one, I mean what if Edward's car exploded from bella's little stunt there? Then how would she have felt as he burned into a cloud of purple smoke? Sorry I wouldn't risk hurting him, Vampire or not!



Author's Response:

I hadn't thought of that, and I see what you mean. But I can see Bella doing this if she were pissed off enough (and had a spine), and she probably wouldn't realize the potential consequences in the two minutes or so she had to think.

Perhaps Carlisle could point it out to her later . . . Anyway, I appreciate the review, because I missed that angle myself.

Reviewer: 24601 (Signed) · Date: September 16, 2009 04:27 AM · On: Revenge

Awww... poor Volvo!



Author's Response:

I know, I feel worse for the loss of that beautiful car than for Edward. Thanks for the review!

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