Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 45

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 45

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 46

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 46

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 47

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 47

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 48

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 48

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 49

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 45

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 45

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 46

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 46

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 47

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 47

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 48

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 48

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 49
Twilighted :: All-Inclusive, High-Quality Twilight Fan Fiction






Your donations help keep this site running,
thank you very much for the support!
Reviews For Breakdown
Reviewer: pennylynn (Signed) · Date: July 01, 2010 12:01 PM · On: Breakdown

well done and in character. 

Reviewer: Brandinm05 (Signed) · Date: February 19, 2010 12:57 AM · On: Breakdown

holy crap- i LOVE this story :) The beginning is freaking hilarious- i don't think i've laughed so hard at a story that was so completely Jacob and Bella :) And the end.. ughhhh- I hate that she always goes back to him...  Anyway- great story, loved it.  Perfect writing :)

Reviewer: cloudshadow22 (Signed) · Date: February 18, 2010 08:03 AM · On: Breakdown

Loved your story, especially how you started and ended with the same phrase, the laughter at the beginning and the tears at the end.  I'm new to this fan fiction, but very impressed with the writing ability of so many or the writers that I have found here.  All of your stories are phenomenal!

You have the BEST figurative language..."making me feel dizzy, like my head had just been put through a tumble-dryer".  I cracked up over Jake's comments to Bella about her failure to read the werewolf clause when renewing her subscription - a terrific line.  The laundry on the bed also had me in hysterics - I have a teenage son whose laundry basket at present is piled about 2 feet over the top of the basket, but I am steadfastly refusing to touch it.  He will run out of clothes eventually and deal.

Thank you so much for taking the time to share your creative mind with us.

Nancy

Reviewer: rebirthfry25 (Signed) · Date: February 14, 2010 10:49 AM · On: Breakdown

I thought it was awsome!!!! I love Jakes's POV stuff!!! So do I get to read more or what!!!!!?



Author's Response:

Thanks!!! I'm so happy you enjoyed it. Jake's POV is very hard to get right... it took me a lot of re-writes to find his voice, that's for sure. Funny that you'd ask about more on this one... I actually just finished writing the sequel! It's called "This Is The Night", and the first part is up on this site right now if you want to go take a look. Part Two (the conclusion) should be up soon.

Thanks so much!!! -Jo

Reviewer: oceanwaters2006 (Signed) · Date: January 30, 2010 11:14 AM · On: Breakdown

Oh *cries* How did I not know this was here?? I saw your new oneshot in the queue for me and it mentioned this one and I was like...AHHH! I haven't read that one yet! So, I came to read it! LOL!

 

I love love love love!!!!!!!!!! your writing! Do I say that enough? No, I most definitely do not! You need to hear it more! LOL!

 

Such a great (and heartbreaking) one shot. Urgh, I want to punch Bella in the face and hug Jake til next Thursday, so sad. Looking forward to reading the next one in the queue. As soon as it gets near the top I'll be able to get it through!

 

Again....LOVE YOUR WRITING! Truely fantastic work!

 

XOXOXOXOXO Jess



Author's Response:

Dude, I always look forward to getting reviews from you! You flatter me too much with your love for my writing. I can't wait to hear what you think of my new story... both parts are already finished, but I'll wait for you to validate part one before I submit part two.

Oh, and "punch Bella in the face"... HAHAHA! Yes! So many people have that reaction to this story. I love it.

Thanks a million, girl!

<3 Jo

Reviewer: diamondheart (Signed) · Date: December 20, 2009 01:45 PM · On: Breakdown

Owwooooohh!!! My imitation of a wolf howl - a breaking heart wolf howl! I loved *sob* the emotional tug of war in Jake's mind, the battle between what he ought to do, what he wants to do and what he can't help but do! A good portrait of unrequited love...

I could just SHAKE Bella - which is just the way I felt reading the Saga! <><3



Author's Response:

Hehehe! I love hearing people's reviews to this story, because they always involve physical violence towards Bella in some way, shape or form. I love your wolf-howl! That's the first time I've gotten one of THOSE in response to any of my stories!!!

Thank you so much, luv! Your reviews are always awesome, and never fail to brighten my day!

(Oh, and sorry it took me so long to respond... I've been a bit brain-dead lately... you'll have to forgive me!)

<3 Jo

Reviewer: DazedNCnfused (Signed) · Date: December 16, 2009 04:43 PM · On: Breakdown

I have loved all of your stories since I read Epiphany, and this story is certainly no exception. It was wonderful!

The way you portray Jacob is absolutely fantastic, and absolutely in character.

I wish this wasn't just a one shot! I think this would make an excellent story, and it would be great to read this full-length in your wonderful Jacob POV.



Author's Response:

Hi! Thank you so much!

It's funny that you mention continuation on this one, because I'm currently working on a "sequel" of sorts. It's not a multi-chapter, but it will be about the same length as this one. The only thing is... I'm not doing it in Jake's pov. It's necessary that it be 3rd person omniscient, because Bella is by herself for a portion of it, and if I went with JPOV, it just wouldn't work. I'm not done with writing JPOV altogether, though. I'd love to do another story using him as the narrator. It was a challenge for me, but it was fun as hell and I'd love to tackle it again.

Glad you enjoyed, and thank you so much for reading my other stories as well. Also, I love you for leaving such awesome reviews! *hugs*

-Jo

Reviewer: joyful27 (Signed) · Date: November 21, 2009 06:09 PM · On: Breakdown

What a fantastic portrayal!  I had initially thought that when Jake first suggested driving away together... no, I had HOPED, rather - that you would write it that way.  I'd love to see their adventures and watch their lives unfold together.  But, you did an amazing job of keeping it in character, no matter how friggin' frustrating Bella can be at times.

Might she, sometime in your literary future, chose Jake instead?



Author's Response:

I'm currently attempting to write a "sequel" to this story. I'm not going to call it a sequel, because the structure and POV will be completely different, but it's basically going to take place hours after this one ends. And... perhaps it might end a little less gut-wrenchingly than this one does... perhaps. :)

Thanks for the lovely review, dear. It made my day! This story hardly ever gets reviews :)

<3 Jo

Reviewer: nemesisstar (Signed) · Date: September 11, 2009 07:27 AM · On: Breakdown

Oh wow...I'm sitting at work (don't tell on me) fighting back tears and trying to look like my heart didn't just break.  What a beautiful, heartbreaking story!  This could have been pulled right out of the book, it's so well-written.  You always write such believable stories and make me feel like I'm right there.  I can't wait to read anything else you post.



Author's Response:

Eeep! I'm... I'm sorry for making you cry at work! That happened to me the other day, too, actually. Not because of fanfic, but beacuse of the stupid newspaper! So many sad things going on in the world atm... Anywho, thanks so much!!! You saying that the story is believable really REALLY makes my day, because that's all I ever really want from my stories... for them to seem realistic. I hope you enjoy reading my other story. I also just added a third fic, which will probably be up in a week or two. It's pretty much the opposite of this one: total fluff. So yeah, at least you won't have to worry about more tears at work!! Lol.

Thank you!!!!

jo

 

Reviewer: Splendid Summit (Signed) · Date: September 07, 2009 09:00 AM · On: Breakdown

Jo, you simply must continue this story. This Jake is my all-time favorite Jake. His pov read so true to character. Loved the humor and snark.

Please let him get the girl. Dying for him.

Off to favorite you and hopefully find more stories by you. You are gifted friend.



Author's Response:

Hi! Thank you for such awesome comments!!! I had such a hard time writing this in Jake's POV (since I'm about as far from being a teenage boy as you could possibly get), so hearing you say that you liked my Jake... really makes me feel like it was worth the time I spent on this story. And I spent a lot of time on this story, believe you me! I almost didn't end up posting it... but that's a tale for another day.

I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I actually AM planning on writing a sequel to this story, but I wasn't considering writing it in Jake's POV, only because I was going to do something different with it. Maybe I'll have to rethink that decision, though. It's still only a concept in my mind at the moment.

I hope you enjoy my other story!!! Thanks again for reading and reviewing!

-Jo

Reviewer: Shanabella (Signed) · Date: August 30, 2009 11:55 PM · On: Breakdown

Beautifully scripted and written. I adored the interaction between B & J, perfectly in character, so much so that I prefer your Jacob to Stephenie's. The angst wasn't overdone, but was used just so that it made the reader ache for their situation (I found myself feeling sorry for both Jake and Bella.) I loved how real it was and was hoping that Bella would say yes and just drive away with him. The ending was simple, but powerful. Loved it. Something you should probably know is that I'm Team Edward (well, at least in theory. Lately, I've been leaning towards Switzerland or even Team Jake land, mostly as a result of your work. It's a big feat, trust me. If you look at my stories, you'll see how big a deal it really is!) So, basically this was incredible and thank you.

-Shanabella.



Author's Response:

I'm honestly so flattered... I... wow. To hear you say that you're Team Edward, and then also say that you wanted Bella to drive off with Jake... I'm speechless! I really don't know what to say! Okay let's start with saying that I went and read some of your fic (you're seriously talented, girl!!! Awesome writing.) and I see what you mean. Definitely Edward-centred. It makes me so happy in my little Team Jake heart to hear that you're seeing our ship in a different light... and the fact that it's my writing that has done this??? I'm still not sure I even believe that's possible... but thank you. Thank you so much. I've been battling the most horrible writers block lately, but your kind words of encouragement are definitely going to motivate me to kick my ass in gear and start writing again.

If you're looking to read more fabulous J/B stories, we have some amazingly talented writers in our little community. My other story (Epiphany) is part of a series on Twilighted called "The Bella and Jacob Chronicles", which has some fantastic fic in it. One of my favourite J/B authors also contributes to this series. Her username on here is "Slider" but other places she's sometimes known as "Stretch". Her fics are brilliant. If you're looking to read some really well-written, well developed J/B fiction, she's a great author to start with. There are tons more, and I could go on forever about the fic in the J/B community, but if you're interested in getting more recs, just PM me or something. Haha. You've made me start rambling now.

Seriously, though, thank you so much. Your comment makes me so happy I'm almost giddy! :D

Reviewer: LJ Summers (Signed) · Date: August 30, 2009 02:50 PM · On: Breakdown

Oh, this was painful to read.  Beautifully in character for both of them, but painful.  I kept hoping...that...Bella would say, Screw it, let's drive!

And, of course, she didn't.  Dammit.

 

Well written!  Especially the peanut butter.;)



Author's Response:

This is my "I wonder how J/B fans will react to this" story. I LOVE J/B, but I wanted this one to seem realistic. This is how Bella treats Jake for most of the canon series. I wanted to give the readers a chance to see how HE feels about it, to hear the heartfail from his POV. I'm glad you didn't hate it, though. I know it's hard to read, especially the end. Right now I'm planning on writing a sequel to this story that MIGHT end a little happier than this one does (I still haven't decided yet how I want the ending to go)...

Anyways, thanks for reading and reviewing!!!!!!

-Jo

You must login (register) to review.




Share/Save/Bookmark


© 2008, 2009 Twilighted Enterprises, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Unauthorized duplication is a violation of applicable laws.
Privacy Policy | Terms of Service

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the intellectual property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.