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Reviewer: jenejes (Signed) · Date: December 04, 2009 06:25 PM · On: Progress Indeed

I like this story. It's good. I don't think that the POVs switch around too much and they flow well. Please, please tell me that Jess and Lauren are going to dike out. Oh, I don't know if the la push folks are going to factor into your story, but Leah would be perfect lesbian lover for Lauren. Anyway, I noticed that you mentioned you're reading a bunch of stories. Could you give us some recs? I love reading recs of authors I like.



Author's Response:

Thanks for the review jenejes.  you may just be onto something.  OK, things that I'm reading.....(these get updated regularly so it's worth reading....updated a little more regularly than mine is!)

on Twilighted: 

Twice As Long As Yesterday

Not Like This

On Fanfiction.net: (go have a look at my profile there for all my favourties, but my most recent favourites there would be:

Master of the Universe

Age of Consent: My Summer as a Legal Intern

Hydraulic Level 5

Same Time Next Year

Scotch Gin and the New Girl

The University of Edward Masen

Written In the Stars

 

Reviewer: Jessy-Anne (Signed) · Date: November 30, 2009 09:42 PM · On: Progress Indeed

that was a great chapter i cant wait to see what alice and bella hell even edward do with the information that they have gotten :D this is such a great story :D marvelous darling mesmerizing infact :D cant wait for more :D



Author's Response:

Goodness.  That's quite a review.  Thank you so much for letting me know you're enjoying it Jessy-Anne.  Next chapter has been submitted, hopefully it won't take too long to be validated!!  Merry Xmas

Reviewer: sherylb (Signed) · Date: November 29, 2009 02:22 PM · On: It Is What It Is

Man, I really hate James!.

Will you send me the alternate version? 



Author's Response:

Thanks for the review.  Here's the alternative start to chapter 8.....Happy Xmas

Alternative Start: to Chpater 8

Oh fuck.

Oh fuck me dead!

How in the hell was I getting out of this one? And why in the fuck did Jasper say it?  Bella looked at me, her beautiful eyes wide open with shock, waiting for what I was going to do.  Do I lie, and not take my shot?  But then Bella will think I lied to her.  Do I drink and ‘out’ us, although the boys would automatically assume I’d lost my virginity with Rosalie or....Alice. Eew.  But even still, they’d be extremely pissed that they didn’t know the real details.  Not that I’d ever technically told them about the girl they assumed it was with, but whatever.  It was still a lie by omission. 

But it was about time I manned up.  I just prayed to god that Bella didn’t have a problem with it.  But she’s the one who suggested the game, she understood there were consequences.  I reached out and picked up a shot glass.  While there were dozens of full shot glasses on the table at the start of the game there were none in front of me that had anything in them....I skulled all of those already.  Couldn’t be more obvious if I’d had to fucking pour one for myself.

Rose, Emmett and Jasper just stopped and looked at me.  Jasper had a knowing look on his face.  How the fuck did he know anything?  I heard Rose whisper what the fuck under her breath. As they watched me take the shot.

They all looked around at each other dumb founded, trying to figure out who it was, obviously knowing it wasn’t them, but clearly confused as to who it was.  It was almost funny, and if I wasn’t so fucking nervous I’d actually be laughing.  The thoughts that must be going through their heads must be comical.  Rose was surely assuming I’d slept with Alice.   Emmett was probably about to get up and beat the shit out of me for fucking his girlfriend.....

“Back the fuck up a second.......what the fuck Cullen.  Are you telling me you either fucked my girlfriend or fucked your sister?  Either way I’m going to beat the fucking shit out of you.”

Both Alice and Rose squealed “It wasn’t me” in unison.

“Then who, it couldn’t have been Bella she........” but as he turned his attention to her the look on her face gave it away.  She was bright red, and she looked incredibly awkward.  Emmett and Rose looked between Bella and I with stunned looks on their faces. “Bella, little Bella.  When the fuck did you and Bella get together.”

I looked up at Bella to make sure she was OK with me revealing what happened.  I was expecting that she’d look angry, but I couldn’t quite place the look on her face.  She nodded her head as if to indicate she was OK for me to reveal what had happened.  But I wasn’t sure I wanted them to know.  I hadn’t told them them for a reason, I wasn’t going to reveal too much now.  It was too personal, too special.

“Bella visited Forks in Summer before moving here.  Let’s just say we met then.”

“Get the fuck out of here Cullen you can’t just leave it there?”

“Fuck off McCarty, Bella’s sitting right here you know.”   Just then Bella raised her hand and gave a little wave so people could acknowledge her presence.

“Sorry, Bella.  But I don’t understand how I missed that shit.  I don’t remember seeing you.”

“I do,” chimed in Jasper.   What the fuck?  I looked at Jasper incredulously.  “What?  As if I wouldn’t have noticed her, she’s good looking.”

“Guys, I’m sitting right here.”

“Sorry Bells,” replied Jasper.

“I was at Edward and Alice’s party just before school went back.  I came with Angela.”

“Sounds like she’s not the only person you came with.”

“Emmett!!”  More than one of us shouted at him.  Bella just looked a little embarrassed but we were all drunk enough by now that hopefully she didn’t feel too bad about the comment.  But it did take me straight back to that night and her comments about experiencing her first ever orgasm during sex with me. 

 

Reviewer: kerrylee (Signed) · Date: November 29, 2009 11:23 AM · On: Progress Indeed

Really enjoyed the chapter. It was fun that Jasper and Alice were both connecting the dots for Edward & Bella at the same time.

Reviewer: LizzieMac09 (Signed) · Date: November 28, 2009 04:21 AM · On: Progress Indeed

Oh, and now I've run out of chapters *pouts*!  It's so funny that neither girl has any idea of how much their respective hearts' desires fancy them.  Of course, poor Jasper is totally c*ckblocked by Edward, so he has little choice at the moment but to try and ignore his feelings for Alice.  Unfortunately, I think Lauren is playing the long game - she knows that he normally shags and runs, so she's decided to make him think she's a challenge by pretending that she's not that into him so he'll come back for more.  And Edward needs to watch out for Jessica, who I think will do anything to keep him - including possibly letting herself get pregnant, or at least letting him think she is.  She's clearly not a girl who is going to give up without a fight.



Author's Response:

LizzieMac, thank you so much for all of your fabulous reviews.  i've been feeling guilty for a few weeks for taking so long to respond to you seeing as you put such effort into them.  I truely appreciate the way you give me your thoughts - they really help keep me focused. 

Loved both Emancipation Proclomation and Wide Awake - if only I could write they way those authors do!! I must admit that I had planned a scene in this story where Bella breaks down at school and the only person who can sooth her is Edward, which is confusing to everyone because no one knows they really know each other.  But after reading Bella's break down in Wide Awake in the gym I knew there was no point!!  it had already been done so perfectly.

Anyway, very nteresting thoughts on Jessica and Lauren in particular.  I have some interesting things planned for both of them!!

Keep reviewing (and I'll try to update faster for you next time).  Next chapter has been submitted so hopefully it won't take too long to be validated.

Reviewer: LizzieMac09 (Signed) · Date: November 28, 2009 03:47 AM · On: It Is What It Is

Oh, I much prefer this - you need to maintain the mystery a bit longer and, with it, the UST between Edward and Bella.  If you had let it all come out you would seriously limit your options for the continuing plotline.

Reviewer: LizzieMac09 (Signed) · Date: November 28, 2009 03:32 AM · On: Busted

Oh God, poor Edward - damned if he does, damned if he doesn't.  If he takes the drink they'll all know about him and Bella and if he doesn't she'll believe that he lied about his virginity to get in her pants.  Jasper is such a douche!

Reviewer: LizzieMac09 (Signed) · Date: November 28, 2009 03:15 AM · On: Hers

This was a really good chapter and I laughed out loud over the Simpsons bit, remembering his amusement when he saw her knickers and how he (or she?) said the Simpsons would always remind him of that moment.  And at least now they've managed to stop being quite so antagonistic towards one another.  James obviously made sure that Bella locked herself down so she would come to rely on him totally - a very manipulative move on his part because clearly now she thinks he was helping her when, in fact, he was making ensuring her inability to move on without him.  But now she knows Edward has a similar story and that he overcame his unhappiness with the help of others, which she obviously needs to realise and understand in order to break the hold that James currently has over her. 

Reviewer: LizzieMac09 (Signed) · Date: November 27, 2009 10:17 PM · On: His

I love Alice, she's so great!  And at least she now knows that Jasper thinks she's hot - she's going to be so mad at Edward if/when she finds out that it's him that's been c*ckblocking her with Jazz, even if it's for all the right reasons.  And Alice is so devious, with her clever ideas for getting Bella into Edward's arms and bed.

Reviewer: LizzieMac09 (Signed) · Date: November 27, 2009 10:00 PM · On: Alice

It's good to get a little outside perspective on what happened with Edward in the immediate aftermath of his night with Bella and to have some insight into Edward's feelngs and why he ended up with Jessica.

Reviewer: LizzieMac09 (Signed) · Date: November 27, 2009 02:40 PM · On: Friends

I really like this story.  I don't usually bother too much with the ones set in high school - although there are some really good ones, like Emancipation Proclamation and, of course, Wide Awake, but this one is drawing me in - the fact that it starts right from the get-go with Edward and Bella having sex, and then they are set right back by circumstances.  James seems to have been quite a good guy, but he's obviously got an inner bastard which is likely to make a reappearance, especially if/when he comes to Forks and susses out the connection between Edward and Bella.  I think I will keep reading!

Reviewer: Ryansmama04 (Signed) · Date: November 26, 2009 10:42 PM · On: Prologue

interesting chapter 1. I think this will be added to my favorites :)

Reviewer: reneegonzales (Signed) · Date: November 26, 2009 10:23 PM · On: Progress Indeed

Good story, prefer reading your chapters than online shopping for my kids Christmas I should be doing.  Enjoy your holiday weekend !  (then get back to work on our next chapter, haha!)  rated 9 only because I miss the spicy stuff!



Author's Response:

Thanks for the review....and hopefully you've had a chance by now to finish the kids shopping.  I haven't.  I've just submitted a new chapter....hopefully it will get validated quickly and be up in time for Xmas!!

Yes, I miss the spicy stuff too....that's why I wrote a story where at least you get some in the first chapter!!  They're getting there though.  Soon, I promise.

Reviewer: MichelleLeah (Signed) · Date: November 26, 2009 04:33 AM · On: Progress Indeed

Gah! This is so good, but the suspense is killing me.

Reviewer: cullengirl06 (Signed) · Date: November 25, 2009 09:37 AM · On: Alice

i love ur storyyyy!!! 

Reviewer: twilightelle99 (Signed) · Date: November 25, 2009 05:47 AM · On: Progress Indeed

Please update soon! I can't wait for more!! :)

Reviewer: twilightelle99 (Signed) · Date: November 25, 2009 03:30 AM · On: Friends

I'm guessing that you're fairly young, b/c you seem to have the teen psyche down perfectly. You're an excellent writter and story teller. I happened upon your story by accident, and I'm so glad I found it! You're doing a great job, and I can't wait for more! Back to reading....

Author's Response:

Thank you so much for your review!  No, I'm not that young (getting a little depressed about the next borthday actually.....which hideously is going to coincide with Jessica's in my story (clearly didn't plan that one well).  Anyway, thanks for the review.  The next chapter has been submitted so hopefully it gets validated quickly.  Have a lovely Xmas!

Reviewer: Helpless_Delicious (Signed) · Date: November 24, 2009 08:37 PM · On: Progress Indeed

I really like your story and the way you portray the characters!

Reviewer: Sometimesirun (Signed) · Date: November 24, 2009 07:44 PM · On: Progress Indeed

I like Alice's P.O.V. in this story.Usually its all caps and too hyper but this is perfect.:P The slight oocness of each character just makes the story so much better. I love how Bella and Jasper are becoming friends I would like to see that continuing especially since shes the only one who knows he likes Alice.Plus I want the other version of the I never game plzzzz.I really want to see Em's reaction lol.



Author's Response:

Thanks for the Review.  I kinda like Alice in this story - a little more subtle than usual.  Hopeully you like Emmett's reaction in the alternative start to chapter 8....Happy Xmas

Alternative Start: to Chpater 8

Oh fuck.

Oh fuck me dead!

How in the hell was I getting out of this one? And why in the fuck did Jasper say it?  Bella looked at me, her beautiful eyes wide open with shock, waiting for what I was going to do.  Do I lie, and not take my shot?  But then Bella will think I lied to her.  Do I drink and ‘out’ us, although the boys would automatically assume I’d lost my virginity with Rosalie or....Alice. Eew.  But even still, they’d be extremely pissed that they didn’t know the real details.  Not that I’d ever technically told them about the girl they assumed it was with, but whatever.  It was still a lie by omission. 

But it was about time I manned up.  I just prayed to god that Bella didn’t have a problem with it.  But she’s the one who suggested the game, she understood there were consequences.  I reached out and picked up a shot glass.  While there were dozens of full shot glasses on the table at the start of the game there were none in front of me that had anything in them....I skulled all of those already.  Couldn’t be more obvious if I’d had to fucking pour one for myself.

Rose, Emmett and Jasper just stopped and looked at me.  Jasper had a knowing look on his face.  How the fuck did he know anything?  I heard Rose whisper what the fuck under her breath. As they watched me take the shot.

They all looked around at each other dumb founded, trying to figure out who it was, obviously knowing it wasn’t them, but clearly confused as to who it was.  It was almost funny, and if I wasn’t so fucking nervous I’d actually be laughing.  The thoughts that must be going through their heads must be comical.  Rose was surely assuming I’d slept with Alice.   Emmett was probably about to get up and beat the shit out of me for fucking his girlfriend.....

“Back the fuck up a second.......what the fuck Cullen.  Are you telling me you either fucked my girlfriend or fucked your sister?  Either way I’m going to beat the fucking shit out of you.”

Both Alice and Rose squealed “It wasn’t me” in unison.

“Then who, it couldn’t have been Bella she........” but as he turned his attention to her the look on her face gave it away.  She was bright red, and she looked incredibly awkward.  Emmett and Rose looked between Bella and I with stunned looks on their faces. “Bella, little Bella.  When the fuck did you and Bella get together.”

I looked up at Bella to make sure she was OK with me revealing what happened.  I was expecting that she’d look angry, but I couldn’t quite place the look on her face.  She nodded her head as if to indicate she was OK for me to reveal what had happened.  But I wasn’t sure I wanted them to know.  I hadn’t told them them for a reason, I wasn’t going to reveal too much now.  It was too personal, too special.

“Bella visited Forks in Summer before moving here.  Let’s just say we met then.”

“Get the fuck out of here Cullen you can’t just leave it there?”

“Fuck off McCarty, Bella’s sitting right here you know.”   Just then Bella raised her hand and gave a little wave so people could acknowledge her presence.

“Sorry, Bella.  But I don’t understand how I missed that shit.  I don’t remember seeing you.”

“I do,” chimed in Jasper.   What the fuck?  I looked at Jasper incredulously.  “What?  As if I wouldn’t have noticed her, she’s good looking.”

“Guys, I’m sitting right here.”

“Sorry Bells,” replied Jasper.

“I was at Edward and Alice’s party just before school went back.  I came with Angela.”

“Sounds like she’s not the only person you came with.”

“Emmett!!”  More than one of us shouted at him.  Bella just looked a little embarrassed but we were all drunk enough by now that hopefully she didn’t feel too bad about the comment.  But it did take me straight back to that night and her comments about experiencing her first ever orgasm during sex with me. 

 

Reviewer: Sometimesirun (Signed) · Date: November 24, 2009 07:27 PM · On: It Is What It Is

I want to see the other version even if I am behind please please!!!Loved it.



Author's Response:

Thanks for the review!!

Here's the alternative start .......have a happy Xmas!

Alternative Start: to Chpater 8

Oh fuck.

Oh fuck me dead!

How in the hell was I getting out of this one? And why in the fuck did Jasper say it?  Bella looked at me, her beautiful eyes wide open with shock, waiting for what I was going to do.  Do I lie, and not take my shot?  But then Bella will think I lied to her.  Do I drink and ‘out’ us, although the boys would automatically assume I’d lost my virginity with Rosalie or....Alice. Eew.  But even still, they’d be extremely pissed that they didn’t know the real details.  Not that I’d ever technically told them about the girl they assumed it was with, but whatever.  It was still a lie by omission. 

But it was about time I manned up.  I just prayed to god that Bella didn’t have a problem with it.  But she’s the one who suggested the game, she understood there were consequences.  I reached out and picked up a shot glass.  While there were dozens of full shot glasses on the table at the start of the game there were none in front of me that had anything in them....I skulled all of those already.  Couldn’t be more obvious if I’d had to fucking pour one for myself.

Rose, Emmett and Jasper just stopped and looked at me.  Jasper had a knowing look on his face.  How the fuck did he know anything?  I heard Rose whisper what the fuck under her breath. As they watched me take the shot.

They all looked around at each other dumb founded, trying to figure out who it was, obviously knowing it wasn’t them, but clearly confused as to who it was.  It was almost funny, and if I wasn’t so fucking nervous I’d actually be laughing.  The thoughts that must be going through their heads must be comical.  Rose was surely assuming I’d slept with Alice.   Emmett was probably about to get up and beat the shit out of me for fucking his girlfriend.....

“Back the fuck up a second.......what the fuck Cullen.  Are you telling me you either fucked my girlfriend or fucked your sister?  Either way I’m going to beat the fucking shit out of you.”

Both Alice and Rose squealed “It wasn’t me” in unison.

“Then who, it couldn’t have been Bella she........” but as he turned his attention to her the look on her face gave it away.  She was bright red, and she looked incredibly awkward.  Emmett and Rose looked between Bella and I with stunned looks on their faces. “Bella, little Bella.  When the fuck did you and Bella get together.”

I looked up at Bella to make sure she was OK with me revealing what happened.  I was expecting that she’d look angry, but I couldn’t quite place the look on her face.  She nodded her head as if to indicate she was OK for me to reveal what had happened.  But I wasn’t sure I wanted them to know.  I hadn’t told them them for a reason, I wasn’t going to reveal too much now.  It was too personal, too special.

“Bella visited Forks in Summer before moving here.  Let’s just say we met then.”

“Get the fuck out of here Cullen you can’t just leave it there?”

“Fuck off McCarty, Bella’s sitting right here you know.”   Just then Bella raised her hand and gave a little wave so people could acknowledge her presence.

“Sorry, Bella.  But I don’t understand how I missed that shit.  I don’t remember seeing you.”

“I do,” chimed in Jasper.   What the fuck?  I looked at Jasper incredulously.  “What?  As if I wouldn’t have noticed her, she’s good looking.”

“Guys, I’m sitting right here.”

“Sorry Bells,” replied Jasper.

“I was at Edward and Alice’s party just before school went back.  I came with Angela.”

“Sounds like she’s not the only person you came with.”

“Emmett!!”  More than one of us shouted at him.  Bella just looked a little embarrassed but we were all drunk enough by now that hopefully she didn’t feel too bad about the comment.  But it did take me straight back to that night and her comments about experiencing her first ever orgasm during sex with me. 

 

Reviewer: LisaF29 (Signed) · Date: November 24, 2009 05:18 PM · On: Progress Indeed

Great chapter! Can't wait for more!!

Reviewer: ddiva (Signed) · Date: November 24, 2009 04:32 PM · On: It Is What It Is

I loved this chapter. Edward owes Alice big time for the distraction. And loved the conversation between Bella and Jasper. I do hope Jasper man ups and confesses his feelings for Alice. I am curious about the other version of this chapter though. I wonder what would have happened if it had all come out then. Looking forward to more!



Author's Response:

Thanks for your review.  I've just submitted a new chapter so hopefully it will get validated quickly and go up soon....in time for Xmas perhaps.

I don't thin revealing it to everyone would really have changed the outcome of the rest of the story (now that I think about it).  But here it is anyway......

Alternative Start: to Chpater 8

Oh fuck.

Oh fuck me dead!

How in the hell was I getting out of this one? And why in the fuck did Jasper say it?  Bella looked at me, her beautiful eyes wide open with shock, waiting for what I was going to do.  Do I lie, and not take my shot?  But then Bella will think I lied to her.  Do I drink and ‘out’ us, although the boys would automatically assume I’d lost my virginity with Rosalie or....Alice. Eew.  But even still, they’d be extremely pissed that they didn’t know the real details.  Not that I’d ever technically told them about the girl they assumed it was with, but whatever.  It was still a lie by omission. 

But it was about time I manned up.  I just prayed to god that Bella didn’t have a problem with it.  But she’s the one who suggested the game, she understood there were consequences.  I reached out and picked up a shot glass.  While there were dozens of full shot glasses on the table at the start of the game there were none in front of me that had anything in them....I skulled all of those already.  Couldn’t be more obvious if I’d had to fucking pour one for myself.

Rose, Emmett and Jasper just stopped and looked at me.  Jasper had a knowing look on his face.  How the fuck did he know anything?  I heard Rose whisper what the fuck under her breath. As they watched me take the shot.

They all looked around at each other dumb founded, trying to figure out who it was, obviously knowing it wasn’t them, but clearly confused as to who it was.  It was almost funny, and if I wasn’t so fucking nervous I’d actually be laughing.  The thoughts that must be going through their heads must be comical.  Rose was surely assuming I’d slept with Alice.   Emmett was probably about to get up and beat the shit out of me for fucking his girlfriend.....

“Back the fuck up a second.......what the fuck Cullen.  Are you telling me you either fucked my girlfriend or fucked your sister?  Either way I’m going to beat the fucking shit out of you.”

Both Alice and Rose squealed “It wasn’t me” in unison.

“Then who, it couldn’t have been Bella she........” but as he turned his attention to her the look on her face gave it away.  She was bright red, and she looked incredibly awkward.  Emmett and Rose looked between Bella and I with stunned looks on their faces. “Bella, little Bella.  When the fuck did you and Bella get together.”

I looked up at Bella to make sure she was OK with me revealing what happened.  I was expecting that she’d look angry, but I couldn’t quite place the look on her face.  She nodded her head as if to indicate she was OK for me to reveal what had happened.  But I wasn’t sure I wanted them to know.  I hadn’t told them them for a reason, I wasn’t going to reveal too much now.  It was too personal, too special.

“Bella visited Forks in Summer before moving here.  Let’s just say we met then.”

“Get the fuck out of here Cullen you can’t just leave it there?”

“Fuck off McCarty, Bella’s sitting right here you know.”   Just then Bella raised her hand and gave a little wave so people could acknowledge her presence.

“Sorry, Bella.  But I don’t understand how I missed that shit.  I don’t remember seeing you.”

“I do,” chimed in Jasper.   What the fuck?  I looked at Jasper incredulously.  “What?  As if I wouldn’t have noticed her, she’s good looking.”

“Guys, I’m sitting right here.”

“Sorry Bells,” replied Jasper.

“I was at Edward and Alice’s party just before school went back.  I came with Angela.”

“Sounds like she’s not the only person you came with.”

“Emmett!!”  More than one of us shouted at him.  Bella just looked a little embarrassed but we were all drunk enough by now that hopefully she didn’t feel too bad about the comment.  But it did take me straight back to that night and her comments about experiencing her first ever orgasm during sex with me. 

 

 

Reviewer: myedward1 (Signed) · Date: November 24, 2009 04:27 PM · On: Progress Indeed

Great story!  Can't wait to read more of it!!

Reviewer: krisandrob (Signed) · Date: November 24, 2009 02:03 PM · On: Progress Indeed

Well things are coming together!

Reviewer: reneegonzales (Signed) · Date: November 04, 2009 08:39 PM · On: It Is What It Is

I really liked this version (people don't keep private things private anymore!)  This chapter made me want to go to a drinking party and ask questions and find out wierd stuff about other people (I don't get out much and I'm probably older than you!)

But I do want to see your other version    sbrunt@carolina.rr.com

Thanks!  Great job!

 

 

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