I Sure hope you finish this.  Great relationship suspense, mixed with a real plot...  Fantastic. 

LOVE the story so far. Keep up the good work :)

This is my favorite chapter so far. I do agree with your chapter note about Leah and Rose. I always loved those two. They are such great bitches lol.

Though even though I enjoyed reading this chapter I was a little upset to be honest that it was only Leah's point of view. That you didn't write Embry or Jared waking up and seeing everyone. Nobody said anything but Rose..which I found odd in a way. Even though they should not be loud for the vampires would have heard them. But it just seemed kinda weird that Emmett, Esme, Embry and Jared were there with them if only the other two spoke.

Hmmm...

Sounds like they need a military mind, and he already left with Alice.  I know you said that would be a weakness on your part... but really, rush them all at once without a plan...?  Sounds like Bella is the only one with half a sense.  Sure, they can be rushed... but they need a plan.  Remember, Alec's power moves slowly and it creeps.  If the attack is spread out - then it could work.  Plus, he's already over exerted himself big time - as proven by the fact that Leah and Rosalie have broke free of his "spell."

First, they (Cullens/wolves/Denalis) need to see what they are up against... is it just Alec, or is Jane with them?  I have a sneaking suspicion the Volturi split up.  Edward can read minds up to five miles out on the ones he knows well... but even three miles out would ensure he wouldn't be detected.  Remember, his mind reading skills have a much greater range than his hearing range.  He also can see through the eyes of whomever he is reading - which would allow him to do some strong recon work; hence provide good Intel.  Then there is Bella's undeveloped shield, and why isn't she working with it?  Certainly Eleazar would have encouraged her to develop it... and where is Kate?  Her offensive power is critical in an attack.

Good tale... suspense time right now... work on a smart believable attack.  

Thanks for sharing your talent!  :-)

Loving the story! More, more, more! Can't get enough of a well written, fabulous story. I am following this one and will be through all the chapters to the finish! :o)

Great story! Great writing skills!  :o)

Disney Vampire

Author's Response:

Thanks for the love.  I will finish, but I can't make promises on when.  I was hoping for labor day weekend, but that doesn't feel possible right now.  It's just nice to know the small bits I've managed to hack out are appreciated :)  Thanks and hugs!!

Just found your story! I LOVE this tale of our favorite Twilight characters in a new and improved "Breaking Dawn". I am happy to see new and different versions of that book, because it was not my favorite book of the series. I am always looking for new stories written around it.

I really like your story and cannot wait for more! I will be watching for chapters now.

Excellent plotline and writing skills! A good original story with a lot of imagination! Great work!

Disney Vampire

Author's Response:

Oh you brave soul for reading unfinished fan-fic!  Thanks so much for the encouraging words.  It really does mean a lot to me.  I am still plugging along with my story, but my pace is pretty uneven.  I hope to have another chapter up in a few weeks, and feedback is always appreciated!  Love your name, btw :)

great update! I can't wait to see what happens to the family and how they rescue them!

I think it takes real talent to write depressing situations like this, and still make them interesting and touching, instead of just annoying. Well done. 

Author's Response:

Thank you!  I was worried that this whole thing would get a bit tedious to read, but Edward and Bella have a lot to work through.  I wanted to show them struggling w/ the decisions and helplessness, yet still relying on each other.  I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Ugh, I agree with you. No burning babies, ever, in any context. Double ugh!

And I'm loving your story so far. It works for me how innapropriate Bella and Edward's argument about Jacob was.  And I love how broken Carlisle is right now. I get so excited when I get to see some of his humanity coming out, instead of the elegant, in control leader/father figure we usually see.

Author's Response:

I'm glad you're enjoying Carlisle's struggle.  This whole story is really a screenplay or movie in my head.  I really wanted to give Peter Facinelli a little more to do as Carlisle, so it seemed interesting to have him fall apart.  Then the rest of the family has to deal with the kidnappings AND their usually calm center not being there.  I just wanted to give the character a little more range.  Too bad Peter will only get to act out these scenes in my head.

Interesting story so far.  How long do we have to wait for the next chapter?

Author's Response:

The next chapter is coming along pretty quickly.  I hope to have it up in the next two weeks.  After that I make no promises on when I'll be able to complete stuff.  I have this annoying day job, and my kids keep expecting me to feed and clothe them.  I would much, much rather work on this story, so I'll hang in there until the end.  I do have the plot mapped out right out through the last chapter, and a scene at the end that I'm really looking forward to writing.  Thanks for reading :)

wonderful update! thanks!

Author's Response:

Yay!  Thanks for returning :)

great chapter!

wow!!!

Author's Response:

Thanks! This was a fun chapter to write.  I'm glad you enjoyed it :)