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Reviewer: FhionaBridge1504 (Signed) · Date: July 15, 2009 02:51 AM · On: Chapter 3: Edward's First Time

Fighting her inner battle between right and wrong, good and evil, reading the rest and not reading the rest, Fhiona did not hear the timer on the oven go off, or notice the smoke billlowing out of the kitchen and into her office. She was distracted by this story until the review box emerged from the bottom of the page. 

Her mind raced, her cake was on fire and cracking, her mouth filling again and again with the bitter smoke. Her mind was thick with the memories of last chapters extra-absorbent treat. Unable to stop herself, her fingers typed this reveiw for two amazing authors.....

GREAT JOB GUYS, I LOOK FORWARD TO MORE!



Author's Response:

jasper_rox: OUR FIRST PARODY!!!!!!! YAYYYYYAYAYYYY!!!!!!!!!! lol, thanks, i was greatly amused. What an original review!! It seems there's no hope for your cake, but I hope your house at least is okay! Chapter four has been written and should be out within the week (if psymom doesn't hate us for taking so long to update) Make sure not to bake anything while you read it!! hmm... perhaps we should add that to the disclaimer...

Reviewer: FhionaBridge1504 (Signed) · Date: July 15, 2009 02:32 AM · On: Chapter 2: Fresh Air, Ravioli, and Illegal Substance Abuse

Wow... okay so I like this so much better than the real scene in twilight.



Author's Response:

jasper_rox: I think it's much more realistic. LOL! Not really. But we took restaurant scenes and dubbed them over for a real movie effect! To see the scene, watch our Trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_J9zh7ChQQ

Enjoy!

Reviewer: FhionaBridge1504 (Signed) · Date: July 15, 2009 02:28 AM · On: Chapter 1: The Epiphany (now with backup layer protection)

This is the funniest story I've read in a while. I love this part:

“This is so wrong,” Edward mumbled to himself, face pressed to where Bella had started her cycle only moments ago. “Oohhh, but its sooo gooood…”  She hadn’t, in fact, stained the seat, but that was probably for the best because he didn’t have an excuse for the Volvo suddenly having a huge bite out of it.

I laughed out loud for about 10 seconds. LOVE IT!



Author's Response:

jasper_rox: That's great! I love that scene too. Chapter 4 is on the validation list and after that Chapter 5 may or may not have a little more Volvo action ;)

Reviewer: RoseT (Signed) · Date: July 15, 2009 12:29 AM · On: Chapter 3: Edward's First Time

Ah.........sucking on a tampon like a lolly-pop!  What an image!!!



Author's Response:

Roxie: We try to make as much image as posible! It's the ONLY way to write =P

Stay tuned for chapter 4!

(also ignore my sorta cocky moment xD)

Reviewer: TwiWarped (Signed) · Date: July 14, 2009 10:52 PM · On: Chapter 3: Edward's First Time

Now that I have snorted diet Dr Pepper through my nose...that shit hurts by the way...I have to say that I was duly warned. 

This is great!  I read so many serious fics with angst, romance, sex, etc. thqat this little gem of humor completely hit the spot.  Got the referral from the Twigasm Podcast.  Those are some nasty bitches and I absolutely LOVE them.  Keep up the good work!



Author's Response:

jasper_rox: To me, Twilight isn't really terribly serious, especially the first book. It's something that makes me laugh like a maniac and image crazy stories. Especially the movie, lol!

And we love the podcast SO MUCH!!!! Those girls are AMAZING!!!! I can't believe they've read this (I knew psymom has, but y'know) We're so glad psymom stuck up for us, she is even more amazing then we ever knew!!! I squeed like a fangirl for like, 20 minutes when I heard how many fandom-famous ladies loved our little fic. Yay!

Reviewer: RoseT (Signed) · Date: July 14, 2009 04:31 PM · On: Chapter 1: The Epiphany (now with backup layer protection)

Thanks to Twigasm, I found this story.  So far, it' is very promising.  There isn't enough humor fanfics to go around!



Author's Response:

jasper_rox: WE LOVE TWIGASM!!! It is my dream to be a "What Pwns Us This Week." You hear that ladies!? I WILL PWN YOU!!

Crackfics forever! Vive la revolucion!!!

Reviewer: BobbiJo (Signed) · Date: July 13, 2009 05:21 PM · On: Chapter 3: Edward's First Time

Oh god, this is just wrong! but it's funny, and I like it.



Author's Response:

Roxie: Thanks BobbiJo for the review and rating! We appreciate all the supprt we get!

Stick around for chapter 4!

Reviewer: BobbiJo (Signed) · Date: July 13, 2009 04:36 PM · On: Chapter 1: The Epiphany (now with backup layer protection)

wow... that was weird... but I liked it! haha... Even though it was a little "out there". But I like "out there" I'm off to read chapter two. Thanks for posting.

 

~JO



Author's Response:

jasper_rox: You're welcome Jo!!! I hope you enjoy chapter 2!!!!! if ur into "out there" stuff ull love chapter 3!

Reviewer: Gidget (Signed) · Date: July 12, 2009 11:54 PM · On: Chapter 3: Edward's First Time

freaking hilarious...



Author's Response:

jasper_rox: Good to hear! Chapter four up soon!

Reviewer: vampireyouth (Signed) · Date: July 11, 2009 04:09 AM · On: Chapter 1: The Epiphany (now with backup layer protection)

OMFG This really is so wrong, but oh so ight. This made me LOL, and snort, a few times. My hubby kept saying what but I know he really didn't want to know.



Author's Response:

jasper_rox: LOL! My boyfriend is always wondering why I'm so giggly after Roxie and I hang out. He'll never know <3

Reviewer: Alliebelle (Signed) · Date: July 10, 2009 08:21 PM · On: Chapter 3: Edward's First Time

*gasping for air*

Holy. Fucking. shit.

 

I am beyond disgusted. And I love it!!

 

My favorite part? The thought of Grossward's Facebook pic. Seriously guys, on the ground in his underwear, surrounded by mutilated feminine hygiene products? That's some epically hilarious shit right there!



Author's Response:

jasper_rox: Hurrah for digusted-ness!!!! Lol, Facebook is hilarious. Bella would be like, "Hmmm... those tampons sure look familiar. We must use the same brand!"

Reviewer: Mama_Marinara (Signed) · Date: July 10, 2009 02:19 AM · On: Chapter 3: Edward's First Time

You two keep crackin me up!  This story is awesome!



Author's Response:

jasper_rox: We will! Chapter 4 is written (we're editing it) In the meantime, we've created a fairly epic youtube trailer. It's full of hilarious dubbing and serious lolz!!! If you want to watch it its here -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_J9zh7ChQQ

Otherwise, stick around!!

Reviewer: booboo_kitty (Signed) · Date: July 09, 2009 05:58 AM · On: Chapter 3: Edward's First Time

SHUT UP!!  OMG when the tampon expanded in his mouth I snorted so hard and so loud that I scared my cat and I think I pulled some muscle in my nosticular area.

Great great job ladies and I can't wait until the next installment!!  *MWAH*



Author's Response:

jasper_rox: HA! Your reveiw seriously made me laugh out loud!!! I hope your cat and nosticular area recover in time for chapter four!!

Reviewer: booboo_kitty (Signed) · Date: July 09, 2009 05:43 AM · On: Chapter 2: Fresh Air, Ravioli, and Illegal Substance Abuse

Meth addict...BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!



Author's Response:

jasper_rox: YES! Thanks for the vote/review!! Chapter 4 is on the validation list and Chapter 5 is ALMOST ready after that.

Reviewer: booboo_kitty (Signed) · Date: July 09, 2009 05:37 AM · On: Chapter 1: The Epiphany (now with backup layer protection)

Oh holy hell!!  That is some funny stuff ladies!!  I can totally see Edward with his face pressed to the car seat *snort*



Author's Response:

jasper_rox: More Volvo action in Chapter 5!! Meanwhile, Chap 4 is sure to keep you loling!!

Reviewer: KristenCullen (Signed) · Date: July 09, 2009 05:13 AM · On: Chapter 3: Edward's First Time

LOL 'Thanks for dinner.....!'

omg that shit is hilarious!!!



Author's Response:

Roxie: Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for the rating and review!

Be sure to favour!

Stick around for chapter 4!

Reviewer: KristenCullen (Signed) · Date: July 09, 2009 05:03 AM · On: Chapter 1: The Epiphany (now with backup layer protection)

omg! lol

i heard about this story from the twigasm podcast and i could help myself!

so effing funny already!!!



Author's Response:

jasper_rox: Thanks!!! We are SOO SOOOO  honoured to be on the podcast!!! PSYMOM IS AMAZING!!! We are so lucky to have her as a beta. Stick around for more cottony fun!!

Reviewer: anna123 (Signed) · Date: July 04, 2009 11:21 PM · On: Chapter 3: Edward's First Time

This story is hilarious! I love it!! :D:D  



Author's Response:

jasper_rox: AWESOME!!! Chapter has been written!!! FINALLLY, I KNOW!!!! We just have to edit it and get it validated, it should be up this week or early next (depending on how busy psymom is)

Reviewer: guccisassy (Signed) · Date: July 04, 2009 02:16 PM · On: Chapter 3: Edward's First Time

Geez!  Disgusting, shocking, hilarious!  How long will this be? What is the update schedule?

Thanks!



Author's Response:

jasper_rox: No, thank you! The length is a secret, but we'll tell you when we're nearing the end. The update schedule depends on our lives, but Chapter four will be soon. We promise. Fur cereals.

Reviewer: guccisassy (Signed) · Date: July 04, 2009 02:15 PM · On: Chapter 3: Edward's First Time

Geez!  Disgusting, shocking, hilarious!  How long will this be? What is the update schedule?

Thanks!



Author's Response:

jasper_rox: *echo*echo*

Reviewer: valelf (Signed) · Date: July 03, 2009 07:16 PM · On: Chapter 2: Fresh Air, Ravioli, and Illegal Substance Abuse

LOL! She thought he was a meth addict! That's hilarious!



Author's Response:

Roxie: She sure did!!! THanks! Be sure to favour and rate! Chapter 4 coming out soon!

Reviewer: kshaudae (Signed) · Date: July 03, 2009 01:35 AM · On: Chapter 3: Edward's First Time

OMG! That's the funniest, most gross, horrific thing I have ever read! I love it!



Author's Response:

jasper_rox: And we're glad!! More coming soon!!!

Reviewer: kriskit5 (Signed) · Date: July 02, 2009 07:34 PM · On: Chapter 3: Edward's First Time

this is the funniest fanfic that I've read, but you got to wonder what does happen during that time. Edward Cullen, dazzeling vampire and tampon theif. Please write more.



Author's Response:

jasper_rox: You wonder, we know. That's what we're here for baby! And we're writing, chapter 4 will be up as soon as it's validated! YAY!

Reviewer: caperves1979 (Signed) · Date: July 02, 2009 05:13 PM · On: Chapter 3: Edward's First Time

I love this fic.  You give new meaning to the term "cotton mouth"  What if some debris is stuck in his teeth?  How the hell would he explain tampon string between the teeth?  What about his breath?  Does she use scented or unscented?  Does he have a preference?  What if he kisses her?  I don't care if she thinks he smells like sunshine and rainbows, the thought of her kissing him after he has been sucking a tampon makes me gag.  Yuck, Yuck, Yuck.  I can just see him counting the days until her period.  Will she be regular and give him something to count down to or will she be irregular and keep him guessing?  So so gross and I can't get enough. 

I'm ready for chapter 4.  This fic is like my extra-absorbent treat!



Author's Response:

jasper_rox: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down! In order: we haven't thought about debris, hmm... We'll see. Venom takes care of his breath, he swallows all the blood anyway. As for scented/unscented/Ed's preference, these will be answered soon, in a later chapter. Ew, he won't kiss her with tampon breath. Probably. Regular/irregular? You'll just have to wait and see!!

Chapter 4 is coming we promise!!! We're getting together tomorrow to work on it! (as well as some other extra-special surprise bonus treats!!)

Reviewer: courtenay (Signed) · Date: July 02, 2009 01:57 AM · On: Chapter 2: Fresh Air, Ravioli, and Illegal Substance Abuse

OMG. I nearly wet my pants. METH ADDICT. Classic. I love this so far.



Author's Response:

Roxie: Thanks, courtneay! I'm thrilled that you think "meth addict" is classic! Perhaps it already is classic!

Be sure to favour and rate! =D

Chpater 4 coming out soon! =)

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