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Reviews For Rapture "One Shot"
Reviewer: Morgana3731 (Signed) · Date: August 01, 2010 09:28 AM · On: One shot

I kinda like the idea of him "fucking" her that first time...simply because he didn't know any better and didn't realise he was putting too much pressure on his touches or going too deep. He was doing his husbandly duty for the first time--amidst a lot of self-doubt--and Bella is sexy as hell to him. Moreover they conceived Nessie the first time they had sex and am sure that was extremely intense.

But I don't think he would bite her in a million years. He wouldn't even think about tasting her bloody in such a tense, dangerous moment. And then the pillow thing...why was he suffocating her? Very odd. And way out of character.

It was fun to read, though. Keep writing.

Reviewer: Morgana3731 (Signed) · Date: August 01, 2010 09:27 AM · On: One shot

I kinda like the idea of him "fucking" her that first time...simply because he didn't know any better and didn't realise he was putting too much pressure on his touches or going too deep. He was doing his husbandly duty for the first time--amidst a lot of self-doubt--and Bella is sexy as hell to him. Moreover they conceived Nessie the first time they had sex and am sure that was extremely intense.

But I don't think he would bite her in a million years. He wouldn't even think about tasting her bloody in such a tense, dangerous moment. And then the pillow thing...why was he suffocating her? Very odd. And way out of character.

It was fun to read, though. Keep writing.

Reviewer: vixenjc (Signed) · Date: June 22, 2010 01:17 PM · On: One shot

a bit over the top, for one thing edward wouldnt bite bella anywhere because of his bloodlust and second he would do a lot more foreplay to make it easier on bella first time

Reviewer: Carlisle060 (Signed) · Date: August 07, 2009 11:01 AM · On: One shot

i thought that it was for real.. ....<

was it a dream´

dont really understand the ending....

but loved it !!!!

realyl sexy!!!

Reviewer: Kurzar (Signed) · Date: July 23, 2009 08:27 AM · On: One shot

I liked it. I like how you made Edward seem to control his "urges" with Bella. But by biting her he made it harder on himself.

I definately liked it.      --Kurzar

Reviewer: Penny_Dreadful (Signed) · Date: July 18, 2009 01:19 PM · On: One shot

i`m confused

Reviewer: cherforty (Signed) · Date: July 09, 2009 11:36 PM · On: One shot

You had me! I liked the different take you presented but you left me hanging, I need more!

Reviewer: Love2bdazzled (Signed) · Date: July 05, 2009 12:48 PM · On: One shot

Wow.   I'm glad I read the other reviews and your responses before submitting a review.  I liked: the miscommunication, so much like Bella and Edward.  I wish: this were a one-shot of something they tried after the first time. I think it makes sense that he wouldn't try something he hadn't read in others' minds the first time- he'd try to follow a script and it'd be awkward/ tender etc.

Reviewer: cherforty (Signed) · Date: June 27, 2009 08:37 PM · On: One shot

Yeah! A different then usual take on the first time and I loved it.

Reviewer: lmlx8 (Signed) · Date: June 17, 2009 03:12 AM · On: One shot

Um, where is the tenderness, the love and admiration. It was almost brutal, like an attack. Hmmm, the Edaward I know would never behave like that.

Reviewer: EdwardCullenisHOT (Signed) · Date: June 16, 2009 04:59 AM · On: One shot

I really want to read more now. MORE!

Reviewer: EdwardsWifey (Signed) · Date: June 15, 2009 10:27 AM · On: One shot

ehhh idk

Reviewer: Stephanie Cullen (Signed) · Date: June 14, 2009 05:16 PM · On: One shot

That ws different...one question..He bit her right..wouldn't his venom go into her and she instantly feel like she was on fire from it..It would change her right? Good story just don't understand how he could bite her and drink her blood and not change her...that's all!



Author's Response:

Hi - thanks for the review.  No, he learned that he can suck the venom right out, like he did in Twilight with James' venom.  So, he sucks what little there was from the bite out quickly, and then keeps sucking, so that she doesn't get any inside of her.  I think I need to put a comment onto the end of this story : ).  I decided to have him do this because in a lot of the old vampire lore, when the victim is being drained, it is an orgasmic experience for the victim.  Edward is trying to make her first time better, and it works - she climaxes continuously while he is sucking on her lip.  Anyway . . .

Reviewer: Starlight623 (Signed) · Date: June 14, 2009 04:41 PM · On: One shot

I'm really sorry, but I just don't get it.  Is he killing her or changing her?  And what's with the pillow?  I can't imagine him suffocating her.  It almost seemed to violent for my taste.  Again, sorry.



Author's Response:

I'm sorry, but I can't help laughing.  I keep repeating my explanations over and over in my responses to the reviews - I should probably just revise the story.  So . . . no he isn't killing her or changing her  . . . or suffocating her.  So, in the old vampire lore, usually when the vampire drinks the victim's blood, the victim experiences something akin to an orgasm.  Edward is trying to make her first time better for her.  He sucks the little bit of venom right out, and keeps sucking so that no more goes inside of her.  She climaxes constantly while he is sucking, so his little plan works.  Then the pillows - he isn't suffocating her.  She just doesn't understand.  He is trying to protect her from himself when he climaxes, and he rips them apart.  She is just having a hard time breathing as it is, and she doesn't find out until the next morning why he put the pillows between them.  You're right, it is violent - enough to make Edward swear off sex until she is changed.  He is disgusted with himself the next day, like in Breaking Dawn, but she only seems to remember the intense pleasure . . . .

Reviewer: apollo13 (Signed) · Date: June 14, 2009 03:54 AM · On: One shot

What the hell?!?! Edward was so OC! Why the hell was he suffocating her, and biting her?!

 



Author's Response:

No, he isn't suffocating her.  She doesn't understand though.  He just puts the pillows over her face to keep himself from ripping into her when he climaxes.  He bites her and sucks some of her blood because I remembered that in a lot of the old vampire lore, when the vampire drinks his victim's blood, it is often an orgasmic experience for the victim.  I decided that it would be that way for my story, and this is Edward's way of trying to make Bella's first time more pleasurable for her.  It works - she climaxes continuously while he is drinking from her lip.  Hey, thanks for the review!

Reviewer: miss-moon123 (Signed) · Date: June 14, 2009 02:07 AM · On: One shot

Brilliant..:) Nothing less.. :)

Reviewer: Lola84 (Signed) · Date: June 13, 2009 06:41 PM · On: One shot

Uh, wow. Shit. Wow. Was this a one-shot, or is there more? Because, just... wow.



Author's Response:

Um, yeah, one shot.  Maybe read "What a Way to Go" - that's pretty hot, too.  Thanks for the review!



Author's Response:

Um, yeah, one shot.  Maybe read "What a Way to Go" - that's pretty hot, too.  Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: Twilight_obessesed (Signed) · Date: June 13, 2009 10:35 AM · On: One shot

Wow that was HOT great job loved it



Author's Response:

Thank you.

Reviewer: nanny (Signed) · Date: June 13, 2009 08:53 AM · On: One shot

what about edward pov dont end it like this omg 



Author's Response:

I really want EPOV, too.  I will work on it.

Reviewer: EdwardCullen_Sexy (Signed) · Date: June 13, 2009 08:35 AM · On: One shot

OMG!!!!!!!!! I LOVED THIS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BAD IT WAS SOOOO AWSOME!!!!!!!!! PLZZZZ HURRRY AND WRITE MORE. UR READERS DEPEND ON U!!!!!!!!! AWSOME STORY!!!!!!!!



Author's Response:

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reviewer: jemimag (Signed) · Date: June 13, 2009 08:03 AM · On: One shot

can we get edward's pov?



Author's Response:

Yes, I will work on EPOV.

Reviewer: cherry (Signed) · Date: June 13, 2009 07:55 AM · On: One shot

I like it! How abiut from E pov lol?



Author's Response:

I would like to do EPOV - I will work on it.

Reviewer: twilight_lamb (Signed) · Date: June 13, 2009 07:40 AM · On: One shot

Wow!!!!! Is all I can say!!!

Author's Response:

Thanks!

Reviewer: justjo (Signed) · Date: June 13, 2009 07:15 AM · On: One shot

Em. That's kind of nasty. What's with the lip sucking and suffocation and distance during the act? Why so fast? I don't really buy the rapture aspect, because the rest is so grim. And it's not because there's pain, that's not an issue for me, just this doesn't make it seem fun...



Author's Response:

Hey justjo - thanks for your comments.  I had been thinking that in traditional vampire lore, when the vampire is sucking the human's blood, it is often an orgasmic experience.  I decided to make it like that for my story, and to have Edward know that.  By drinking a little of her blood, he hopes to help her through the pain of her first time - to make it more pleasurable than painful.  Then with the pillows - he isn't trying to suffocate her at all.  He doesn't press down on them - he is trying to protect her from himself, when he climaxes, and he is ripping them apart.  She is just so worked up that it is hard for her to breathe anyway, and she has no idea what is going on with the pillows.  I guess the rapture is that when he is drinking her blood, she just starts climaxing continuously, and the whole experience is pretty intense.  In my mind, this whole thing would be very upsetting to him the next day, like in Breaking Dawn, but she would only remember the intense pleasure of it.  So . . . anyway . . .

Reviewer: VampiresWillNeverHurtYou (Signed) · Date: June 13, 2009 07:13 AM · On: One shot

Woah, that's very different than any other wedding night ff I've read :o

But I liked it. A lot :D



Author's Response:

Thanks!

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