this is to humiliating! i couldnt read it!!!!!!!!
ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:D

I was laughing so hard that the tears were falling from my eyes so fast I couldn't read! TOO FUCKING FUNNY! I almost peed myself! (AH a sequel!)

Can't wait for you Easter Follow up (hmmmm chocoalte bunnies? Lots of them?)

ROFLMAO!!!!

LOVED IT!

hahhahahah omg!i think that was the most hilarious thing i've ever read.awww poor bella.haha that's so embarrassing.i loved this.haha hilarious :D

Author's Response:

Giggles: I'm glad you thought it was funny! The embarrassing and the odd are what we're going for. Hence the 'Circus' reference in the title.

Oh no...not my Jakey...you guys better not do anything that will hurt him! *glares at you warningly* You mess with Jake, you best be messing with me.

...haha. Actually, I can't wait to find out what you do with him!

Hope you guys don't mind me reviewing twice. :)

~Mystic

Author's Response:

Giggles: No, we don't mind. Shits and I are both Team Edward though... well, I'm solely Team Edward but she gets endearing hang-up's on other characters as well, just not Jakey. (Yeah, Shits is a harlot when it comes to character involvement. She likes her some vamps.) Anyhoo, thanks for reviewing this shit again. We appreciate it!

I'm telling ya, you read my mind. That really sick, twisted place always snickered over the thought of B getting massive diarrhea and/or having an historic poo with E just down the hall.  Loved it!

Author's Response:

Yeah... we are sick and twisted. But as long as we get a few laughs... we won't feel like pariah's! Thanks!

this is the kind of stuff I scold my kids for saying to eachother...but when it comes from someone I'm not responsible for it is absolutely hilarious!!!!! Thank you fo rhtis story...and all the fun new quotes I'll be trying out on my husband...

Author's Response:

Giggles: Yeah... I wrote this shit (pun intended) with help from Shits (yep, still intended). We aim to offend... and maybe even please a little. Wonder how these new quotes will go over with your hubby cakes?

I actually read this earlier but i had to walk away for a bit but i'm back now, this story had me in tears i was laughing so hard.

Never in my life had i laughed till i cried and you did it. Just scaning over this to get to the bottom to review had me in stiches, it's awesome and so unique.

Can't wait for some more.

Love Leila

Author's Response:

Giggles: Yeah... I blush... I blush... I couldn't have done this without my partner in crime, Shits... who validates my nonsensical rambling about IHOP and shoo-shoo. Just you wait... It gets worse.

I am laughing so incredibly hard right now, it's unbelievable. Please continue this.

 

...LOL. Bathroom humor. XDD

It's official, I adore you.

Author's Response:

Giggles: Yeah, we have a few things up our sleeves with The Cullen Circus. We intend to push the boundaries a little further.

It's unofficial, because I haven't asked Shits... but I think we adore thee as well.

Oh. My. God. I never ever ever have read anything like this. And I was laughing hysterically the ENTIRE time. God, when Emmett said “What the FUCK was that!?” I actually had to stop reading a few minutes just to laugh. And the brown stain... HAHA!

Now, I'm going to share a little horrible history with you mostly because it was rather traumatic. Not even for me. I work at a pet store and one night we were getting ready to close and a customer said she saw the most foul thing ever in our lady's room. So, naturally the managers sent me and my friend Ashley to investigate since we were the only females working... And there was a thong laying on the ground right in front of the toilet COVERED in shit. Like epic amounts of it. It was just plain nasty.

So my friend Ashley turns to me and says in her most stoic voice, "I don't know what's worse. That this lady had explosive shit coming out of her ass, or that she no longer has underwear on if it happens again."

Anyway, since we work at a pet store we have had to clean up poop before. Dog poop, I mean. But I do not get paid enough money to tackle human poo. So we went and told the manager our discovery. And he was so grossed out by it that he couldn't clean it up like we normally do... He actually had to have a sign up on the bathroom door so no ladies would enter while he cleaned it up. The man came in in full habitat cleaning gear-- which looks just like a scrubs bodysuit complete with a mask-- and uses some snake feeding tongs to lift up the soiled undergarments to throw them in the garbage can. Then he had to scrub the floor and sanitize the tongs.

I just thought I would share this with you since you shared with us your interesting story ;)

Author's Response:

Giggles: Well... I worked at Burger King... and I was a newb so I had bathroom duty... and someone put a shitty baby diaper on top of the TP dispenser... poo-side-down. (Didnt even roll it up!) The shoo-shoo looked like crunchy peanut butter and smelled like hot sewage. Needles to say... I only worked at BK for three weeks. I was traumatized... but have now recovered. Which is why I can now point and laugh at a human with a hot vamp BF who sullied herself in his bathroom. I know I wrote it... but... you know what I mean. Maybe?

 

Toxic knickers are... just... wrong.

 

Thanks!

OH. MY.

Seriously laughing my ass off - for some reason I totally was picturing the scene in Dumb and Dumber where Harry shits on the broken toilet.  I was half hoping for Bella to say "FLUSH, YOU BASTARD!"  

Bwahahahahahahahaha

Author's Response:

Shits: Oh dear lord. We didn't even think of that, but that would have been epic. Thanks so much for the review.

I think I laughed so hard a bit of wee came out!!!! My cat came to see what was wrong coz I was laughing so loud!! This is hilarious...can't wait to see what you come up with next!

xxx

Author's Response:

Oh! I'm sorry! Not about the laughing... but about the wee. Because... it's unpleasant in the panties... like wet socks. Ya' know? Thanks for reviewing!

OH MY GOD! I almost ended up fired cause of u guys, couldn't stop the laughs. EPIC LOL!

Author's Response:

Giggles: o.O -  Don't let our shit clog up your cash flow... But hey... I hope we made the day better!

not just laughing, CACKLING!WEEPING! in sympathy, horror and memories

no one's human moments should be shared with his or her beloved--but the whole family?  

Author's Response:

Giggles: yep.. the WHOLE family. The whole vamp family with super-senses, nonetheless. I would have put a cork in it if I were Bella... or made up some bullshit excuse as to why I had to go home.

-Sigh- Bella will learn....