Me, me, me Please. I'm here, in line. I want to slap Rene...
Even in your universe i can't stand Jackob, i'm sorry, is stronger than me. I hate him.
More please^^

Uh oh....what is Jacob going to do?  Can't wait for the next chapter!

 

And yes, I want to slap Renee ;)

Fantastic! A very interesting and unique idea, I look forward to an update, you portray characters very well.

Interesting premise. I'm looking forward to the part where he comes back after his supposed death.  One thing you might want to take into consideration.  When you set a story in the past word choice has to come into consideration.  It's doubtful the word 'gross' was in the vernacular back then or 'Are you kidding me.'  It's difficult to write dialogue like Edwardians or how people in the early 1920's would have spoken, and I suppose it will depend on how much you care about your story on how hard you check over your work before posting.  Nothing's worse in a historical fic than reading that a 19th century girl saying she avoided being "snarky" (fic I read at ff.net)

I'm adding this story to my favs but if too many modern slang words and phrases yank me out of the story then I won't be able to follow it for long. Sorry, they make me twitch. 

Author's Response:

Thanks for reading. To be honest, it's extremely hard to know what was or wasn't said back then. I am trying to be respecful of the time frame that I've set the story in, but, and I don't want this to be taken that I don't give a crap about the story, I'm not getting paid for this. So, while I will try to do my best to make this as good as I possibly can, I can't afford to devote hours upon hours of research for a story that will never be anything more than fan fiction. Again, please don't take that to mean that I'm just going to churn out crap. I do put a lot of time and effort into my stories.

The next chapter will have Bella saying "What the hell is this?" out of anger. And I actually looked that up and found that that particular phrase was, although shocking at the time, in published works back then. So, it is quite possible for the "gross" to be used. No clue on the are you kidding me one though. :)

i eed more.. it's good.. so cute. please update soon

This is good so far...I'm intrigued to see how you play it out. This chapter and the write up on the story make it very interesting. Can't wait to read more!

Love it, hope for more soon.

i like the stiory... update soon so.

Absolutely love it so far, adding to my favs and waiting for an update.

This is a beautiful start. I should have expected it to be, after all, it is from your hand. I'm excited for more. Much more. I loved the length of the chapter, the originality, the disfigurement, the Blacks, the young love. I love that Renee does not like Edward. I love that he is a prodigy of the piano all the same. Everything is sparkly and new feeling here. I'm in.

 

~Mia

awwwwwww that is so sweet... and oddly twisted... but so sweet!

I like the twist you have set up here to make this a bit different kind of Bella and Edward -story.

 

"And besides, I like your hair," she added with a smile before reaching her little hand out and ruffling my bronze, wayward locks.

That was so cute!

the count of monte cristo? ooh no...you are not going to have Edward arrested while pregnant Bella marries Jacob out of duty are you?

Author's Response:

I'm only going to loosely follow the movie. However, if you think about the Twilight universe, there is a different sort of physical "prison" that Edward could be bound in.