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Reviewer: pastel (Signed) · Date: May 23, 2014 01:40 PM · On: If everything could ever feel this real forever
LOL, those medical terms. They make Edward sound slightly crazy. I understand that he has several medical degrees and that he's a vampire, but I never even imagined Carlisle thinking this way unless he was actively trying to diagnose an illness. (So it would make sense if Edward was actively calculating the various bones in Bella's body that seemed to be injured, but LOL, he was doing it while he and Bella were expressing their love for each other.)
Yeah, I definitely think Bella's brave. If I were Bella there with this kind of Edward, I would definitely run for my life, hahah.
Reviewer: pastel (Signed) · Date: May 23, 2014 01:12 PM · On: i'm afflicted, you're addicted
I find it a bit unusual that Edward's eyes in this chapter would be the "warm honey tone that delighted and excited" Bella, considering he sucked the contaminated blood from Bella's shin only a few hours ago. Even if it were a few days ago, based on the books, his eyes would be red, just like how his eyes turn black out of [blood] lust.
I am also a bit surprised that Bella and Edward were able to suddenly confess their feelings so abruptly. Considering their situation, I thought that the progression of their relationship would be at a much slower rate.
Anyway, thank you for the story thus far. I've only read two other Twilight fanfictions with this sort of plot (a plane crash that strands the two on a deserted island), so it is quite original.
Reviewer: Kendra (Signed) · Date: June 19, 2012 07:09 AM · On: If everything could ever feel this real forever
I just knew after that first chapter that you were going to take us on a ride and leave us stranded. I guess that's just what happened, huh? Anyway, well worth the read and I'm glad you left us in a happy place. As a matter of fact, I don't think I would mind changing places with your heroine right about now...
Reviewer: Kendra (Signed) · Date: June 19, 2012 02:56 AM · On: Strange and beautiful
What a great opening! Your chacters are engaging and colorful and it makes you want to know them more. I loved the stewardesses reaction and E's response, and him sharing the thoughts of people with B.
Reviewer: midnightgirl (Signed) · Date: July 20, 2010 06:36 AM · On: If everything could ever feel this real forever
this story is good but, when you use the big words to describe his body it really takes away from the story. its to clinical, its like an anatomy lesson most people cant relate to those kind of words.
Reviewer: midnightgirl (Signed) · Date: April 24, 2010 12:59 AM · On: If everything could ever feel this real forever
this is a wonderful story. so romantic. i hope that you continue it soon.
Reviewer: moxiejava (Signed) · Date: March 28, 2010 12:16 PM · On: If everything could ever feel this real forever
Reviewer: wendemyre (Signed) · Date: March 15, 2010 12:29 PM · On: World was on fire...no one could save me but you
WOW! This is great!!
Reviewer: peregrin (Signed) · Date: March 02, 2010 08:39 PM · On: If everything could ever feel this real forever
abandoned?
Reviewer: Lamiko (Signed) · Date: February 09, 2010 09:01 AM · On: If everything could ever feel this real forever
plz plz plz continue i really like this story
Reviewer: daggers4u (Signed) · Date: November 17, 2009 07:42 AM · On: If everything could ever feel this real forever
*swoon!!**
wo uh, that was pretty kinky for ol Emoward!! And go Bella with yo horny self!!! LOL
Reviewer: daggers4u (Signed) · Date: November 16, 2009 04:00 PM · On: Strange and beautiful
Ohhh..I like it!
Reviewer: fandjio (Signed) · Date: November 16, 2009 02:09 AM · On: If everything could ever feel this real forever
It's an excelent story. I love it! Thank you for writting it
Reviewer: Disneyvampire (Signed) · Date: November 14, 2009 02:26 AM · On: If everything could ever feel this real forever
Oh, please, please, please update soon! I am so looking forward to another chapter on this lovely tale. I really would like to see another chapter! Please!!!
Ever faithful reader,
Disney Vampire
Reviewer: jbluvs2sing (Signed) · Date: November 05, 2009 02:28 PM · On: If everything could ever feel this real forever
Baby steps...that's what they need to take. Loved the chapter!
Reviewer: jattyca (Signed) · Date: November 04, 2009 03:41 PM · On: If everything could ever feel this real forever
I am always thrilled when I see that your story has updated. I wish it wasn't so long between updates, but then I read your chapter, and see how much effort you put into it, and how extraordinarily good the writing is, and I am content to wait as long as you need for the next update.
Reviewer: Disneyvampire (Signed) · Date: November 04, 2009 12:39 PM · On: If everything could ever feel this real forever
I just found your story a couple days ago and sat down and read the whole thig in one sitting! I could NOT stop reading! This a great story and I LOVE it! I am now anxiously awaiting the next chapter. I want to see where this goes. I hope they finally get to Australia and they have a double wedding with Emmett and Rosalie...heeheehee
I really am looking forward to more of this story. It is one of my favorites!
One thing I want to mention: I know you are in the medical field. There are several times you use the medical term for a particular muscle or bone ie: Zygomatic arches, as well as many others. I am also in the medical field, albeit for animals. In the Veterinary world, we use EXACTLY the same terminology as those in human medicine.
I don't think some of the readers here would know what some of those medical terms mean amd they would be put off by the "big words" and, really, if you thnk about it, folks don't speak like that in real life. They speak in those terms in hospital settings and medical offices, but you would not hear a Doctor use those words in a casual conversation at a cocktail party with a Contracter.
I don't think using those terms is wise for your story. It detracts from your story, makes it less romantic and makes it sound like a medical paper. I would use an everday term, such as" she stroked me gently and I could feel her fingers moving over the rippling muscles in the middle of my back." You do NOT have to tell us which muscles she stroked, just that they were in his back...better for the romance and warmth of a STORY, less like an article in a Medical Journal on the skeletal and muscular systems.
There is no need to spell out the medical name of the muscle or bone. I just feel that most readers are going to get lost in the terminology and it makes your story less personal. Just my opinion however.
Your story is great other than the use of medical terminology which really has no place in it. The only exception MIGHT be when Edward examines Bella after the plane crash. Since he does hold many medical degrees, he might think in those terms upon examining her, but it still is cold terminology for a romantic, warm love story. Not many would speak like that in the real world outside of a medical facililty or University, right? And I really don't think Bella would think in medical terminology as she is NOT in the medical field.
That is the only problem I have with the story. Otherwise, it is fantastic, well written and beautifully thought out. You have written a marvelous plotline and I am not only curious, but anxious to read more. I really love your story! Who would not want to be stranded on a deserted island with Edward Cullen, bloodsucker or not?
I give you 10 out of 10 possible points! Yay! And PLEASE another chapter vwery soon!
Best wishes and great luck in your chosen field. It takes a special person to go into Human Medicine and I have all the respect in the world for you. You sound like you are dedicated and I salute you! :D
Disney Vampire
Reviewer: HeatherA9 (Signed) · Date: November 03, 2009 11:24 PM · On: If everything could ever feel this real forever
I REALLY like that Bella knows herself well enough to not be too conflicted about wanting him. And, I thought the way they were together was very sweet, although I'm sure his viewpoint would show quite a bit more danger.
My favorite lines came near the beginning - her reaction to the vampire thing, the list, and then the "It could have been worse. He could have been a werewolf." comment. I laughed so hard at that it scared the dog right off the couch. As always, thank you for sharing!
Reviewer: viola cornuta (Signed) · Date: November 03, 2009 08:22 AM · On: If everything could ever feel this real forever
just lovely and hopeful
Reviewer: marie-jo (Signed) · Date: November 02, 2009 11:27 AM · On: If everything could ever feel this real forever
Welcome back: I am so hapy that you updated this excellent story. I'm glad that Bella finally knows the truth about Edward. I cannot wait to see in which direction this story will go!
Reviewer: sherylb (Signed) · Date: November 02, 2009 05:58 AM · On: If everything could ever feel this real forever
"The only man who would ever matter."...LOVE IT!
So happy she knows the truth and they started fooliing around!!! I SO want him to change her!
Reviewer: RomperStomper (Signed) · Date: November 02, 2009 05:53 AM · On: If everything could ever feel this real forever
I need a drink and a fag now thanks
Reviewer: sconnolly318 (Signed) · Date: November 02, 2009 05:04 AM · On: If everything could ever feel this real forever
Thanks for updating! :-)
Reviewer: Daylen (Signed) · Date: November 01, 2009 08:41 PM · On: If everything could ever feel this real forever
whew hot times on the deserted island for B&E! And really, what else are they to do out there? hehe
Reviewer: lacyangel32 (Signed) · Date: November 01, 2009 11:40 AM · On: If everything could ever feel this real forever
I'm so happy that you finally brought us another chapter! I love this story line and cant wait to read more! Thanks for sharing!
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