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Reviewer: Phoenix Rising (Signed) · Date: April 11, 2009 04:30 PM · On: Hypocrisy
You're right, it was a subtle chapter. But it was good, and showed some more about Bella's thought processes about Edward. And I'm glad she's on better terms with Alice. And I agree with Edward, ABBA is very irritating...
xoxo Sarah
Reviewer: Emeralds and Rubies (Signed) · Date: April 11, 2009 08:49 AM · On: Hypocrisy
Great story so far! I'm absolutely loving it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please update as soon as you can :):):)
Reviewer: vipervixen33 (Signed) · Date: April 11, 2009 06:51 AM · On: Hypocrisy
I just found this story and I'm completely taken aback by it. It's so much better than Twilight. o_o I love it muchly. Keep it coming!
Reviewer: folm (Signed) · Date: April 11, 2009 03:29 AM · On: Scarred
I originally read this chapter at around 1 30 in the morning & had to come back to review. This may be the best chapter yet. That line that Edward said about giving up everything because Jacob was supposed to be the safe choice. I think I gasped aloud, and my heart stopped for a second-your story, your dialogue was just that great & I could Feel Edward's anguish. Just wanted you to know. I couldn't give this story up if I tried!
Reviewer: folm (Signed) · Date: April 11, 2009 03:16 AM · On: Hypocrisy
I am continuing to love this story. I feel sorry for Jake then realize he almost killed Bella, so I get why she won't talk to him. Your pacing is great- no need to rush things.
Reviewer: sbr0275 (Signed) · Date: April 11, 2009 02:32 AM · On: Hypocrisy
this story is great and i love it!! keep posting more more more!!!! i wish this was made in to a film, cant wait for you next chapter.
Reviewer: folm (Signed) · Date: April 10, 2009 03:28 PM · On: Fine
what a great, imaginative twist!
Reviewer: folm (Signed) · Date: April 10, 2009 02:45 PM · On: Monster
Thia chapter was great, I know Bella is Brave, but she kicks ass here. "I can love a vamp..but I couldn;t love a coward" Perfect.
Anyone who whould give you one star for basically letting Edward stay true to his angsty, martyr-ish, over-analytical behavior is an idoit. (its really late, I can't think of anything smart, hell I can hardly type)
Reviewer: folm (Signed) · Date: April 10, 2009 01:40 PM · On: Sparks
1st of all, "fluent in crazy"- I love that
Good for Renee, recognizing that Bella hasn't been, but needs to be a teen. I don't like it when writers treat Renee like an imbecile-Bella loves her & considers her her best friend, after all.
Just so you know, during Bella & Edwrd's lunch I got a tingly feeling, your writing is that good!
Reviewer: folm (Signed) · Date: April 10, 2009 01:21 PM · On: Unrequited
Okay, first of all, at my suggestion, my brother was God's gift to women a few years ago. (That is the easiest costume) so that was funny.
Oh, Bella, you are so dense!
And I agree with you about Alice. I like how you have written her & given her a chance to shine, er sparkle, haha
Reviewer: folm (Signed) · Date: April 10, 2009 12:18 PM · On: Friends
Get off the fence!! The chapter was great. Dialogue was wonderful, And Bella totally got that she & Edward are playing the same game!! Bella is so sharp- no wonder Edward likes her so much, haha
Poor Bella, I can just imagine how she feels, thinking Rosalie is Edward's girlfriend...
Reviewer: folm (Signed) · Date: April 10, 2009 12:04 PM · On: Acquaintances
okay, I have been reading straight through, & not reviewing (I know that's awful) but this is so good I just keep clicking "Next". Truly, your writing is sublime, just fantastic. I know I should be giving concrete examples, but I like it all- your characterizations, the flow of the story, your sense of humor that shines through Bella. Its alll wonderful. (Hope the bar exam went well, I am another Illinois lawyer. At least with writing like this, I am certain that the legal profession won't suck out your soul-your writing is that good ;)
Now I have to hit that next button, my husband thinks I'm reading news...haha
Reviewer: bsmithy (Signed) · Date: April 10, 2009 08:55 AM · On: Terminal
'It was better than grunting “me Bella, you Edward,” but not by much'
i think that is my favourite line in the story so far! It actually made me lol :)
Reviewer: LilacHoneySunshine (Signed) · Date: April 09, 2009 11:53 AM · On: Hypocrisy
Okay, your writing really makes Edward and Bella COME ALIVE. I love nothing more than picturing those two, in my mind, in the situations you put them through. Edward smashing Jacob into his Rabbit literally made my mouth drop. I was thinking "Damn!" and just visualizing him walking towards Jacob with a look of pure rage and anger on his face, ahhh...i like angry Edward sometimes. And for some reason, I like him abusing Jacob. Anyway, I cannot wait for the next chaper!
Author's Response: Angry Edward is appealing, I agree. Thanks for the review :)
Reviewer: Stardust1 (Signed) · Date: April 09, 2009 07:53 AM · On: Hypocrisy
Oh please, please, please!....I need to know what's next for this two...Have I told you yet how much I like your characters?. I know that in every legal sense they SM's but, this is not her Edward, not her Bella, this are yours. You can put other names into the story and it will be one of those heart-breaking ones you just can't stop reading. I'm glad I found it during the holly week break because I would have gone mad without having the time to keep on reading.
I won't pressure you into writting something soon. I writte ficts (in spanish of corse) and I know that sometimes they just don't want to say anything. But please be sure that no matter when, you have one more eager reader of this story wating for your update.
Once again, I love your Edward, he's so...human. And Isabella, is just one drama queen, but I love her because it is not easy to keep on living when so many thing are falling apart in your life. See?, I'm talking about them like they are my classmates....jejejeje. Your the one to be blame for that.
Thanks for your time and for making my life a little more interesting by posting this story,
Stardust1.
PS: Sorry about any mistakes in my use of english. I'm still learning. ;)
Author's Response: Your English is spectacular! Do not apologize! I love that you call Bella a drama queen b/c those are my thoughts exactly...although aren't we all drama queens within the confines of our own psyches? Or maybe that's just me ;)
Reviewer: Mysticnyx06 (Signed) · Date: April 09, 2009 01:59 AM · On: Hypocrisy
update soon for my sanity!
Author's Response: My own sanity requires me to post soon lest I over-obsess about this chapter. So, yeah, it's coming ;)
Reviewer: samgiroux (Signed) · Date: April 08, 2009 01:36 PM · On: Hypocrisy
Ok so i just read your entire story... in one effing sitting. I cant tell you how much i am loving your writing. The angst is so full and exciting, i find myself near tears at some parts and literally laughing out loud at others. YOUR AWESOME!!
Author's Response: Thanks! Anyone who reads this sucker in one sitting deserves some sort of medal, but you'll have to settle for a virtual high five.
Reviewer: gynyphurr (Signed) · Date: April 08, 2009 10:36 AM · On: Hypocrisy
Reviewer: Mysticnyx06 (Signed) · Date: April 08, 2009 10:28 AM · On: Crushed
I'm really glad this chapter ended the way it did because Jake is really starting to get on my nerves... enjoying the story so much that I've been reading it @ work every day for the past 3 days...
Author's Response: Jake is tough to write, b/c I agree with you: the character (in almost any fanfic) annoys me to death. And reading at work? I'd click my tongue at you, but that would make me a hypocrite b/c I do that constantly myself ;)
Reviewer: Stardust1 (Signed) · Date: April 08, 2009 09:51 AM · On: Crushed
Answer to number 3...Billy is perfect. Anyone but Edward can see how in love bella is with him. That's exactly what makes him so wonderful. :D...I don't think I can sleep without knowing what happens next!
Reviewer: Stardust1 (Signed) · Date: April 08, 2009 08:56 AM · On: Sparks
So good....so sad. Will they ever say it out load?...please...
Reviewer: Stardust1 (Signed) · Date: April 08, 2009 07:48 AM · On: Hallowed
oh God...that thing with Sam and Leah was just sad. The pumpkin replacement is the sweetest thing...I love 'your' Edward. :D
I'm from Bogtoá Colombia, so I might add that your spanish was perfect ;)
Reviewer: BabyBlues (Signed) · Date: April 08, 2009 04:18 AM · On: Hypocrisy
Really looking forward to the next updates - hope they'll come soon. I'm very new to this whole twilight fan fiction thing, but it has me totally trapped!!
Love your story!
Author's Response: Twilight fanfic will steal away all your free time. Trust me. But I'm happy you choose to dive in with my story as one of your first. Thanks for the review!
Reviewer: eridoodle (Signed) · Date: April 08, 2009 02:11 AM · On: Preface & Chapter 1: Sixteen
This story is absolutely wonderful. I literally check it everyday for an update. I've read a lot of Twilight fanfiction, and this is the first one that's ever made me forget the original story. The way you write the characters is so believeable. It's like Stephenie Meyer herself is writing this or something. I like how you stay true to the story while at the same time adding your own personal twists. And I love your version of Edward. I think he's romantic.
Great job with the story, and keep the chapters coming!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I try to make Edward romantic without coming across as a total pansy, b/c to me, romantic is not being some gushing puppy dog who follows a girl around. I like romance...with an edge.
Reviewer: whomel (Signed) · Date: April 08, 2009 02:06 AM · On: Truth
I feel like I'm long overdue in writing you a review. I just finished chapter 24.
I'm not a big fanfiction reader, but I started reading this story in January right after my little brother and only sibling was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of lymphoma cancer. I live far away from my brother and I felt helpless because I can't be with him all the time. I started reading this as a form of distraction... I needed an escape from my life and the comfort of a story that was both well-written and original yet familiar and similar to the Twilight series. About two weeks ago my brother was put on life support because he got sicker, and I read little bits and pieces of this story in the waiting room when I'm not allowed to see him. This has kept me sane and provided me with a little happiness during this terrible time because I know that when I read a chapter I can escape temporarily from my troubles and focus on this wonderful story. Thank you, and I look forward to reading more.
Author's Response: I've sat in front of my computer for a solid hour trying to think of something to say to this review that will do it justice, and the simple answer is that there's nothing I can write that will show you how much this review has meant to me. There's a saying that writers only truly remember the negative reviews, but after reading what you wrote, all I can think about are your words and the fact this little story has meant something to you during such a difficult time in your life. As an aspiring writer, that's the best compliment anyone's ever paid me. This is the only review I've ever read that's made me actually cry and also made me completely wipe away memories of negative things others have said. I can't thank you enough.
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