Your donations help keep this site running,
thank you very much for the support!
Reviewer: murasaki86 (Signed) · Date: July 16, 2009 11:13 PM · On: 4 Pawns Attacked?

Amazing! And still suspense even though its a part of we know. Can't wait to see Maria reappearance and I can't wait to see how they find Nahuel. Keep it coming please. BTW, Congrats on the nomination ;) Did you make it to the Finals? You know I will continue to vote!


Author's Response:

DTRH is the only one that's made the finals, and it's done so in two categories:  Best Canon Complete and Best Characterizations (non-E/B) Complete.  Yay!  Get ready to vote!

Reviewer: antipyro (Signed) · Date: July 16, 2009 04:39 PM · On: 4 Pawns Attacked?

Oooo, a goody to boot!

You are soooo loved; I am your love, whatever you need....MWAH!  If I ever think up some worthwhile smut, it's yours.

I never thought that I'd get into this story, but if I twittered, it would be about this.  Profound, remarkable, ingenious and all those really great words I can't think of now - belong to you for this story!

Yes, please, please, post really soon.

Reviewer: sarawthouttheh (Anonymous) · Date: July 16, 2009 03:38 PM · On: 4 Pawns Attacked?

You always write the nicest things about me.  I don't think I'm that nice.  Time to work my Alicey you-know-what off so hopefully it'll be cuter and littler.  :P

Reviewer: antipyro (Signed) · Date: July 13, 2009 01:30 PM · On: Strategy

Great chapter!  So intertwinned with logic and me goosebumps!

Reviewer: antipyro (Signed) · Date: July 13, 2009 01:03 PM · On: Interposition

Maria, ever the strategist and always defending, weighing her options.  It appears that Alejandro is not the same companion as Jasper was, and she's fighting to get him back.  Will Alice foresee any of this, before it's too late???

Poor Jenny, having her tongue ripped out like that, then killed, and still, the t-shirt was stuffed down her throat.  Surely the police would find out her tongue had been removed by force - something a rapist wouldn't do....Has Maria left her self open to suspicion????

Author's Response:

Maria's techniques for body disposal and so on will be discussed a little more in a future flashback chapter...  Jenny was a little too clever and she sort of improvised there, but she's been at this for a long time.  She'd ditch the body accordingly. 

Will Alice forsee anything?  I guess we'll have to wait and see... 

Maria's desire to bring Jasper back into her world will be explored further in chapter 12.  After all, she did visit him before...

Reviewer: sarawthouttheh (Anonymous) · Date: July 12, 2009 01:58 PM · On: Strategy

Share Jackson?!

Author's Response:

You have to share with me.  I'm going to make you feel sexy.  ;)

Reviewer: jewelsie (Signed) · Date: July 12, 2009 10:56 AM · On: Strategy

More Please!!?

Author's Response:

I've just been waiting for this to clear to put the next in the queue!  I'll upload it today and then, we await validation :)

Reviewer: Twinklefae (Signed) · Date: July 12, 2009 08:44 AM · On: Strategy

LOL  I love this story.  Alistair taught Alice to sometimes let the other side to charge ahead and then surround them, surprise them.  (And I'm sure Alice has always loved to surprise people.)

I love reading Alice pre-change and Alistair together.  They're just too sweet!  Even with all the asylum stuff going on.

Author's Response:

Alistair always understood that Alice was a little girl underneath the trauma of her family locking her away, and the horrors of shock treatments.  Little kids LOVE surprises.  He also respects her intelligence and insight, which naturally makes a game like chess a fun one to teach her. 

I always find the flashback chapters so easy to write, and I believe that's in large part to how natural the interactions play out between these two.  They're both similar creatures in their own ways - book smart, readers, imaginative, strategists, witty and ultimately alone in their own worlds.  I could almost write an entire story set in the asylum.  :)

Reviewer: minnesodagirl (Signed) · Date: July 12, 2009 05:21 AM · On: Strategy

so maria is a threat- but maybe not in this story- you wouldn't have put it in the end notes- and i think that if you do a post bd story maria would be interesting to include- but i still dont think that she is a threat in the context of this battle- because you stay on cannon and she's not mentioned at the battle- so shes later- right?

update- i want my theory to be right

and your story is great

Author's Response:

I am mulling a post-BD story with Maria in it.  That said, this story will NOT end at the end of BD but extend a little further.  Keep that in mind!

I will say no more other than I do not do things without a purpose.  I mention Victoria in DTRH, which seems extraneous until you consider a) that I was connecting to the future canon of Eclipse and b) this story, where I've brought her up again to flesh out things that are coming.  I've brought in Maria for a reason.  You'll ee why soon enough ;)

Thanks so much for reviewing consistently.  I love feedback and reader theories.  Sometimes, they help me see why a chapter isn't flowing for me and help me redirect it or finetune it.  <3

Reviewer: Jalice (Signed) · Date: July 12, 2009 04:48 AM · On: Strategy

I nominated and voted for Down the Rabbit Hole an Through The Looking-Glass for the Indie Awards.  Both stories are fabulous stories and I hope you win.  You deserve it; DTRH is the best canon story I've ever read and this one is quickly becoming my second favorite.

Anyway, I love, love, love the flashbacks so I'm glad there will be at least a few in this story.  I hope Maria makes a pretty lasting impression in the story.  I've always been disappoint in the fact that Maria was such a huge part of Jasper's story and we hardly get any insight into her at all.  Actually none of the other Cullens backstories are elaborated enough, in my opinion, in the saga at all.  I guess that's why fanfiction exists.  Oh, and the The Walrus and the Carpenter is actually one of my favorite poems if only for the passage:

"The time has come," the Walrus said,

"To talk of many things:

Of shoes--and ships--and sealing wax--

Of cabbages--and kings--

And why the sea is boiling hot--

And whether pigs have wings.


Yeah, sorry for the mini rant,  good luck in the indies, and... update soon?

Author's Response:

I would just like to say that validation has been a lot slower lately around here.  I'm actually ahead by almost two chapters and just haven't been ABLE to update, know what I mean?  I'll throw chapter 10 straight into the queue now.

I'm a huge fan of the flashbacks and there will be at LEAST one more.  I love Alice and Alistair together.  And, of course, I have promised they will meet at some point in this story.  :)  I really can't wait for that chapter;  I look ahead in the outline and I'm so thrilled because even the circumstances are incredibly fun and unusual.

Thank you so very much for the support over at the awards.  My read counts have definitely climbed from being nominated, and that alone has been wonderful for me.  I love the idea of more people finding my stories and hopefully enjoying them.  <3

Reviewer: minnesodagirl (Signed) · Date: June 22, 2009 02:44 AM · On: Interposition

great chapter- really want to see what peter and char think of nessie...and jake

also what happened to jasper and alice- all we got was info that they are in mexico- please bring them back- really

and maria- will she be a threat- because she isnt so why involve her?

Author's Response:

We'll get back to Jasper and Alice, promise.  I'm laying down foundations for a few thngs...  There's a flashback coming up then Jasper and Alice tracking the Amazons down.

As for Maria...  Why would you say she ISN'T a threat?  I'm not saying she IS...  but why not?  Victoria managed to avoid Alice's visions...

Reviewer: Slim2None (Signed) · Date: June 21, 2009 12:16 PM · On: Interposition

Oooo, evil backstory!  I love it when you get to know the villains better. 

Thanks for writing.  Can't wait to see what happens next.


Author's Response:

I do enjoy playing with the villains too!  So much so that I may just play with Victoria in a one-shot.  Maria is just twisted.  She therefore rocks.  ;)


Reviewer: murasaki86 (Signed) · Date: June 21, 2009 07:09 AM · On: Interposition

To my fellow reviewers,

Just a reminder to go nominate this story at for the Indie Awards. They recognize lesser known stories. From all the comments I read, I think we all agree this story deserves it. Nominations are cumulative, so the more nominations a story recieves the more likely it is to go to the next round. Don't just notice that this story is on the list and think the job is done, it isn't.

Cheers and happy nominating

Author's Response:

How much awesome are you made of?  TONS. 

So much <3 for you.  I'm touched!

Reviewer: murasaki86 (Signed) · Date: June 21, 2009 12:25 AM · On: Interposition

Maria is interesting. Can't wait to see her try to attack Alice and fail. I would love to see Alice in a fight, supposedly she is a fierce pixie according Eclipse.

Author's Response:

Alice is definitely fierce!  That snippet in Eclipse was awesome.  Also, in the film she ripped James' head off, which I loved.  That said, there are definitely curve balls coming...  This will by no means be a straight battle.

Reviewer: Isis (Signed) · Date: June 20, 2009 11:39 PM · On: Interposition

Cool!  I hadn't thought of Maria.

Author's Response:

She snuck on in and sort of demanded to have fun and, well, it was either let her or end up like the poor tourist in Tijuana.

Reviewer: elana (Signed) · Date: June 20, 2009 10:23 PM · On: Interposition

I must be slipping....  I didn't even think about Jasper and Alice encountering Maria.  Brilliant!  A confrontation is almost certain.  I wonder if this why Alice said that Kachiri needed to stay with them?  I also sense another opportunity for Alistair to play an important role...

Maria is underestimating Alice. 

Author's Response:

You're underestimating Maria's understanding of Alice's abilities, though...  and that's ALL I am saying.  ;)

Reviewer: sarawthouttheh (Anonymous) · Date: June 20, 2009 07:02 PM · On: Opening Move...

Also, antipyro is the shit.  Thanks for that review babe!  I AM EVERYWHERE.

Reviewer: sarawthouttheh (Anonymous) · Date: June 20, 2009 07:01 PM · On: Interposition

PINK TEXT SNARK!  Wow, I wish I could make this review pink.

Anyway, what you've added to this chapter makes it even more epic.  Kudos.

Author's Response:

Why thank you!  Your comments about her brief mention with the tourist shirt inspired me to be a little more evil...

And if this review were pink, it would be epic.  More epic than our cliche ;)

Reviewer: antipyro (Signed) · Date: June 16, 2009 08:26 PM · On: To The Middlegame

Did the map from Charlotte and Peter save them any time, or was it just a convenient route out of the way of humans?  Here's hoping that their forest tryst didn't cost them any time either....LOL.

Now that I've caught up to the whole story, I've really got to make these reviews all that much more 'needy'. 

Oh, please, please, the next chapter, so I don't have to whither like Alistair, going over and over the same story in my mind!!!  (How's that?)  Just post the damn story and let me know when I can read it, already!!!  Love you all....sooooo much!!!!

Author's Response:

The map gave them a way to go that would help them travel more during sunny days (lots of 'unbeaten path'.  So in a sense, it helped speed things along a bit. 

As for the next chapter, it's in the queue!  However, be patient;  my beta is a new mommy and taking some time off with the wee one, so other betas are covering her duties.  It shouldn't be TOO long, I hope.  I also submitted a one shot "what if...?" extension of chapter 15 of DTRH that should be very pleasing. 

This weekend I'll be working on chapter 9 and also starting an entirely new story, all while protesting horrible conditions at a local animal shelter, doing laundry, planning a vacation AND partying with friends!  Gah!  Did I also mention I am writing an album with a friend?  *collapses*   Bear with me!  My writer's block has at least gone off and died again.

Reviewer: antipyro (Signed) · Date: June 16, 2009 07:55 PM · On: Gambit

I must say that although I didn't find many typos or mistakes before, there is a presence of sarawithouttheh now in your writing.  Great work, both of you.  Alistair is so sad.  I'm glad he'll get some relief from Carlisle.

Author's Response:

Hahahaha really?  Because she honestly has changed very, very little.  Mostly she just snarks and mocks Peter or demands mancrush fic between Alistair and Carlisle.  LOL.  That said, I've come to discover that she and I are very similar creatures, and I almost write to encourage her snark and amusement.  Maybe that's what it is? 

Sara rocks my socks, for sure.  As do you!

Reviewer: antipyro (Signed) · Date: June 16, 2009 07:23 PM · On: Rauzer Formation

Just as you get to the good part......Arggghhhh!

Reviewer: antipyro (Signed) · Date: June 16, 2009 06:46 PM · On: Fianchetto

Mistakes????....Like I really care (I'm not dissing you on content).  The story is magnificent on it's own, nevermind interweaving it to canon; Although, I love it for that too.

I love the way Alice stops and 'sees' what may happen, clearly a unique perspective and story line.  This is like, soooo kuul!  Yu da masta' of all things Alice, babe.

Author's Response:

I'm a perfectionist!  What can I say?  I care a hell of a lot about Alice and gettin her story right, since Stephenie left us hanging with so very little to go on. 

And I am quite happy to be a master of Alice!  *bows*

Reviewer: antipyro (Signed) · Date: June 16, 2009 03:19 AM · On: Deflection

It amazes me that the 'dividing line' between Quileutte land and Cullen land has never been described or identified.  Huh!....I guess they go by a feeling, or something like that.....???

Did Jasper have anything to do with Sam allowing the passage, being mellowed out by Jasper's thoughts???  It's written here quite distinctly, but I wasn't sure if Jasper had an effect on the wolves.

I love all this background stuff.

Author's Response:

I'm wagering so, since in Eclipse in the heat of hunting Victoria the scuffle with the wolves and Cullens happens because Paul thinks Emmett crossed over the line. 

Jasper is always working to smooth things over, especially when protecting Alice.  The thing is, he can affect emotion, but not will.  Sam ultimately had to choose to allow passage on his own, but Jasper could keep him calm enough to rationalize it out.  Know what I mean?

I know things are moving a little slow with getting this one to the meat of it - the search for Nahuel - but I really wanted to play with the lost moments that seemed ripe for drama or exposition.  Chapter 6 is very much about that (and bringing back an old favourite from DTRH).  Chapter 8, which is coming soon, is where things finally launch and you'll begin to see why this journey to bring back a hybrid took 3 weeks. 

Reviewer: antipyro (Signed) · Date: June 16, 2009 02:38 AM · On: King's Indian Defense

It seems so much more real here than in the book.  You're great!

Reviewer: antipyro (Signed) · Date: June 16, 2009 02:12 AM · On: Opening Move...

Read DTRH and loved it, so I'm following suit and am intrigued with this one.

You must login (register) to review.


© 2008, 2009 Twilighted Enterprises, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Unauthorized duplication is a violation of applicable laws.
Privacy Policy | Terms of Service

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the intellectual property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.