This is the first fanfic I have ever read where I felt like I should keep notes.  I just had so many thoughts that came up while I was reading it and I didn't want to forget any of them. 

There were many interesting breaks from what was put forth by SM, either in the books or in interviews she has given (like on the Twilight Lexicon).  Some of your ideas in going against the text were quite clever. 

The addition of John the incubus was genius.  Your creativity really came through and I think by that addition you really added something to the Twilight world.  It also explains a reason behind Royce's actions.  As it stood in the saga, I would hate to think (no matter how shallow she would appear) that Rosalie would choose someone capable of such evil as her mate.

Some of the changes from SM's world I wasn't sure how I felt about such as Esme and Carlisle being strangers when he changed her--leaving out how they met in Ohio when she was sixteen (as stated in a SM interview on Twilight Lexicon)--or Edward killing Esme's husband (although I certainly understand the motives behind such an action).

However, I love the depth you have added to the story by examining the bond between Esme and Rosalie.  I think this adds to both of their characters.  I also felt I understood Edward more after he told Rosalie that when changed, vampires tend to stay in their current moods until permanently altered.  By explaining that he was melancholy at the death of his family, it makes Edward on the whole seem less Emo.  This also seems perfectly in line with how he explains his life pre-Bella as being a dark night with random starlight.

Your writing has really inspired a lot of analytical thinking about the characters and their motivations for the whole series.  I can't wait to read more.

Thank you for the enjoyable read.  Can't wait for more

A very good chapter.  Edward has certainly gone out of his way to help Rosalie with her quest.  I think you did a great job describing Edward distracting her from the scent of the humans.  The plan for luring the Smythe outside was basic but so many things could have gone wrong.  Edward always trying to be the gentleman even when turning down offers.  (poor Rose) 

Oh! Edward and Rosalie are adorable :) poor Rosalie, all confused and Edward letting her down so gently.

Earlier I wanted Edward and Rosalie to have some romantic action but you've delt with that possibility brilliantly, I totally don't want that any more and understand their sibling relationship.

Please keep going :)

xxx

"He's got an arm off!" <-- A quote from the movie "Shaun of the Dead". This is an amazing chapter. I love your Rosalie, not only because it mirrors how I see her, but because she is permanently caught between "rage and sadness" and it is harder than anyone thinks to be in her shoes. This is a good piece of work.

I love, love, love this story! Rosalie is actually one of my favorite characters...by far the most misunderstood of the bunch. You make her so much more multi-dimensional.

You finally updated. THANK YOU. This was a great chapter but I would have preferred if Edward showed SOME intrest in her. Great story update soon!!

this is a great story!  looking forward to the next installment

I'm a little confused. I thought the summary said this story was supposed to be pre-Twilight? You mentioned Bella in this chapter and maybe i didn't realize it was supposed to be flashback. I am looking forward to hearing more about her revenge. Will she meet and fall for Emmett in this story?

Oh!!  The excitement of Rose's revenge is thrilling!!!  I can't wait to see what happens!

I've really enjoyed your story and hope you comtinue to make updates.

The only part I really didn't like was the fight between Rose and Edward. I can't see Edward swaring for any reason. It just seems very out of character for him.

I love 'young' Rosalie! Her and Edwards early relationship is so fascinating. I kinda want something romantic to happen between them, just a little?? A hint of secret passion? Please! Carlise and Esme never have to know and then she can find Emmett and it can all go cannon again! :)

Great story, can't wait to read more,

Thank-you

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