Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 45

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 45

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 46

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 46

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 47

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 47

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 48

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 48

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 49

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 45

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 45

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 46

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 46

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 47

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 47

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 48

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 48

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 49
Twilighted :: All-Inclusive, High-Quality Twilight Fan Fiction

Your donations help keep this site running,
thank you very much for the support!
Reviews For Spring Tide
Reviewer: RebeccaJ1973 (Signed) · Date: August 16, 2017 07:49 PM · On: Chapter 4 - A Moment's Reprieve

It's wonderful to have these two new chapters, Jason.  While I understand completely that writing is an art, and, as such, is not something that can be forced if one's muse is not cooperating, I do so hope you will be able to continue adding chapters here on twilighted until the Jason Culhane story is told in its entirety!!!  This and one other post-Breaking Dawn fanfic here on this site vie for my favorite - and both stories could easily bear up to the scrutiny of professional, published works (the writing in both is simply that good).  Actually, I've thought each time I read either series that had the stories been written as unique, original works rather than a continuation of someone else's story, I imagine they would succeed brilliantly as published literature sold to the general public (I know I'd certainly purchase them!).

Now down to a bit of constructive criticism, if I may... In the segment below, there were a couple of minor issues that interrupted the flow of the story.  The first one was the double use of the word "that" in the first sentence shown (...that, no matter how fleeting, that...).  

The second issue is less obvious and, I'll allow, more subjective.  Where it says " it let us let go..." I found myself having to reread it a couple times because I kept stumbling over the nearly back to back use of "let" (though it could just be that I was already a bit tripped up from the "that" issue and so was more sensitive).  Perhaps it could be altered to read something like, " it allowed us to let go..." (or you could substitute "permitted" or phrase "offered us the opportunity") or "let go of" could be replaced with something like "release" or "escape" so that it would read, " it allowed us to release a little of the tension and enjoy the moment..." These are just a small sample of the alternatives, of course, and your vocabulary is such that I trust you'd have no difficulty at all in providing others. ;) 

This is the section to which I referred above.  Both issues are contained in the same paragraph (conveniently enough).  Quote:

"... it finally hit us both then that, no matter how fleeting, that we were on an actual honeymoon. It was as though there was no easy way back with our driver departed, so it let us let go of a little of the tension and enjoy the moment."


~-     *>*       *.*       *o*       *?*       *o*       *.*       *<*     -~

Here's another issue with flow - or, perhaps it is just confusing (though I admit I'm having difficulty myself trying to reword it so that it reads smoothly while continuing to convey your original message):

"The script was very flowy but precise, most likely Edward's, which was probably why Alice had undoubtedly twisted his arm into writing it."

I think it could be written as somethng like, "The script was very flowy but precise, most likely Edward's, which Alice had probably twisted his arm into writing."  After reading it a few times, I decided it was the word "why" in the sentence that was causing most of the confusion - it was making it sound as an explanation of why Edward was the one writing the note rather than illustrating that Edward had been reluctant to write it leading Alice to offer the arm-twisting inducement (this is just my own personal interpretation of this segment, however, and I encourage you to ask for additional opinions to be sure others agree that this not only is a bit confusing as written but also as to how it might be phrased to better convey your original meaning. ;) While I may be able to proof-read someone else's work, having the ability to "turn a phrase" with ease and elegance is not an asset I possess).


~-     *>*       *.*       *o*       *?*       *o*       *.*       *<*     -~


I'm totally confused on what this part means (I had thought it was going to be some reference to kissing the Blarney Stone when it began):

"I believe in Ireland they say what are you like." 

"That they do. I guess I am a little infatuated and a bit in love with you, Leah Culhane."

What does it mean when she said, "I believe in Ireland they say what you are like"?



~-     *>*       *.*       *o*       *?*       *o*       *.*       *<*     -~


There are a couple things about your writing that I don't believe I have mentioned but which deserve commenting...  First, I want to compliment you on how you handle the intimate scenes.  I am not prudish by any means, but some writers turn their fanfics into little more than smut - or perhaps I should politely call it erotica (I have nothing against that genre, I just prefer to choose when to read that type of material rather than having it slipped in unexpectedly under the guise of something less risque).  You handled it in a way well suited to SM's original style (of course, with Jason's age at the start of Equinox being only 16, too much detail could become problematic with various governments).

The other area I wanted to be sure to praise was your handling of details with regard to clothing, decorations, etc.  I cannot begin to tell you how utterly bored I become when I am reading (anything from fanfic to professionally published novels) when an author carries on and on about the most inane details - every ruffle and bow, ribbon and pearl, cut and style of a dress only to then drag us through it again reading about shoes, jewelry, accessories, and so forth.  I am a woman and if I am skimming over all of that to avoid all the tedious details, I cannot imagine many men enjoying those detailed descriptions (I won't even start on the ones who feel the need to describe every morsel of food laid on the table during a five-course meal).  The way you gave us enough details to picture the engagement party and wedding along with the gist of what people were wearing was perfectly balanced - enough information for a reader to picture the scene but without giving us a description of every tiny detail.

One other consideration I keep meaning to mention yet have managed to forget repeatedly until now is my appreciation for your not begging for reviews at the end of each chapter.  I admit I do not understand the obsession so many fanfic authors seem to have about review counts (I can understand wanting to see a high count on the number of times their story has been read as well, of course, as hoping to see the highest possible star rating, but the issue with reviews escapes me).  While reading various stories here on twilighted, I've seen authors beg, bribe, and even threaten to withhold updates until receiving the number of reviews deemed acceptible, and all of it has the tendency to make me not want to review!  I'm not sure if you refrain from asking people to review because you realize that the review count does not necessarily equate to the quality of a story or if it is just not your way, but, whatever the reason, I thank you!  Your stories are superb, and I appreciate not having all the review-begging tainting the experience.

~-     *>*       *.*       *o*       *?*       *o*       *.*       *<*     -~

As with my previous reviews, I wrote this one as I progressed through the chapter to ensure I didn't forget things by the time I reached the end... and a very good thing I did!  What a cliffhanger...and there are no more new chapters yet!!! :(  So, from this one lowly reader who just happens to tremendously enjoy reading your story and who now desperately wants to know what happens next, please, please, please find the time/inspiration asap!  The not-knowing is going to drive me bonkers for a while now.


Author's Response:

Hi, Rebecca, thanks so much for your reviews. They mean a lot. I am unfortunately a bit stuck for time and inspiration at the moment. Me and my wife are due a baby soon so suffice it to say my focus is elsewhere! I do intend to eventually finish Spring Tide and I'm sorry it's come out so far in dribs and drabs. Thank you for your suggestions and to answer your question, what are you like is an Irish/UK turn of phrase usually said to or about someone who has done or said something silly or outrageous, and it can be said mockingly or as endearment. Hopefully I'll begin writing properly again before the year is out. 

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: February 12, 2017 01:49 PM · On: Chapter 4 - A Moment's Reprieve

  Heya, Jason!!!  Always a pleasure to have you back!        ^_^

  Ah, l'amour!  Alice really had the bestest of the ideas.  You two really needed that just-you-two time after all that happened lately.  Points for her:

  '"Your honeymoon, of course.(...)       We're not sending you far, and not for long. It's two nights in Seattle. You'll have a nice room in a fancy-ish hotel, a romantic meal or two, and you'll see the sights. Mostly, you'll just have some precious time alone, time together that you deserve and might not get for a while."(...)  I picked Leah up, her legs wrapped around me, and let her down on the bed as our hands found zips and buttons.(...)       We found each others lips again, found our way under the sheets, and, at last, allowed ourselves to be lost in this moment and in each other.'

  But, as Murphy demands, you couldn't have more than one nigh, before everythig goes up in flames.  Literally!!

  'The waves passed over the masses running down the streets away from a threat I had not yet seen. Then, I realised the threat was among them. Vampires. I counted five, eight, fourteen, and then it became clear that there at least several dozen.(...)       At street level, everything within a one-block radius was in ruins. I noticed then just beyond the wrecks of several vehicles in front of us stood two vampires. One was ebony-skinned, completely bald, and had a look of absolute menace in his blood red eyes.(...)       Suddenly, the girl looked more focused and just as she eyed us with a similar degree of odium to her counterpart, the wind ceased, the last raindrops fell, as if someone had thrown down a bucket of water, and the clouds evaporated.(...)       "Know this, we are here. Your fate is sealed."       "Who's we?"       "His guard. His army. Your death."       The distortions around him intensified.(...) I encompassed us both in a solid sphere of blackness and lifted us off the ground and over the water. Suddenly, the shimmering blur around him turned a fiery orange like molten metal, and shot in our direction. It impacted the blackness like a missile, erupting in a blinding explosion like had happened before. It did not breach the sphere, but the force projected us far from the city and across the water like a skipping stone.'

  Hell, I feel bad for you two.  You should have a break.  Just a tiny one?

  But I admit this will shake things.  The waiting is over!

  I imagine the black guy with a hot temper is the replacement of your late (and good riddance) cousin Sorcha (what are the odds of finding two of those?).  And the girl...  If I had to guess, she is Aro's version of Storm of the X-Men.

  I have to give it to Aro.  Instead of waiting until his main army is ready, a surprise attack with a very capable Special Ops Strike Team.  Good strategy.

  And I'm really scared for you, guys.

  Please, have mercy on my nails and don't take too long to free us of this cliffhanger.  If you don't post again soon, my fingers might not survive the wait!        :-P

Author's Response:

Hi, Costa, thank you so much. I hadsn't realised I hadn't responded. A lot going on life-wise as me and my wife are expecting. I hope to be back to writing more soon.

Reviewer: brandylover26 (Signed) · Date: January 15, 2017 03:55 AM · On: Chapter 4 - A Moment's Reprieve

Absolutely loved this chapter, please keep going!

Author's Response:

Thank you so much, it's my intention for this year to focus more on my writing, so hopefully I'll have a new chapter up soon.

Reviewer: brandylover26 (Signed) · Date: January 15, 2017 03:51 AM · On: Preface & Chapter 1 - Celebration

I love this story! Please keep writing! I really want to know what happens next!

Reviewer: xanath (Signed) · Date: January 10, 2017 01:37 PM · On: Chapter 4 - A Moment's Reprieve

Great chapter, Keep up the good work.  Thanks


Author's Response:

Thank you, this year will hopefully be better for writing consistency!

Reviewer: Debbie1870 (Signed) · Date: September 09, 2016 10:14 PM · On: Chapter 3 - Big Day

I really want to keep reading on!  Great story.  Keep writing.  Thank you.

Author's Response:

Thanks so much Debbie, I'm working on the next chapter, it should be up in the coming week.

Reviewer: Debbie1870 (Signed) · Date: September 09, 2016 10:14 PM · On: Chapter 3 - Big Day

I really want to keep reading on!  Great story.  Keep writing.  Thank you.

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: September 07, 2016 01:05 PM · On: Chapter 3 - Big Day

  Jason!!  I thought I wouldn't hear from you again.  Welcome back, man!!!        X-D

  "Well, am, Jason, I told you Alice came to me with a proposal."(...)         "I want to plan our wedding."(...)        "I also want to move the date up, a lot."        "How much is a lot?"        "Saturday."        "Saturday the...?"         "...This Saturday."(...)        "I want to be your wife, Jason, and you my husband, and I want it to happen before this battle comes. Who knows, Jason, maybe we'll survive and be together anyhow but if the worst happens, I want to be married to you when it does. I want for you and me to face it together as husband and wife. So, Jason, will you marry me on Saturday?"        I smiled in adoration for one second before saying, "Of course, I will."        Heheeh!!  What can I say?  That I deeply wish that the worst doesn't happen.  And congratulations!        ^_^ 

  "Well, man, it's all over for you now."        "What?"        "Pretty soon, the ball and chain will be firmly locked in to place, and there'll be no going back. You're toast."        "Seriously, Emmett?"        "Damn straight."        "This coming from the man who's remarried his wife over a dozen times."(...)        "Just giving you some advance warning from a man of experience."        "No kidding."        "Excuse me?"        "Well, let's face it, Emmett, you're pushing on a bit. You ain't no young whipper snapper anymore."        "Do you want your wife to walk up the aisle to your severed head?"        "Calm, Emmett, calm, I'm only joking."        "You know I don't like the age jokes."        "I do."        *snickers*  Ah, you and Emmett... 

  'We heard the footfalls first and off in the distance, we could see them coming our way, fast.(...) Garrett said, "Six against forty, those are rather steep odds."(...)        I was preparing to release a blast of the mindfire down slope to meet them when they all just stopped.(...) Then from among the group, a redheaded woman stepped forward.(...) She called up to us, "Are you minions of Aro?"        Edward decided to respond, "No, we are the ones he seeks to destroy." After a short delay as he took in the collective thoughts of our adversaries, he added, "You must be friends of Isolde."'        *whew*  They interrupted your bachelor party, but reinforcement trumps party-poppers!        :-P

  I'm very happy for you and Leah, Jason, and can't wait to hear from you all again.

  Just a hint:  one of the aspects of the story I'm more anxious to hear from is what will happen when the humans realize what is happening, since Aro isn't worried about drawing attention this time.  So, whenever you have something for us...        ;)

Author's Response:

Hi, Costa, so glad to hear from you. Again, apologies for the massive delay in getting back to this story. I hope to have another chapter up between now and this day week which will start address the whole human response to the situation. Thanks for reviewing and continuing to follow this story.

Reviewer: RebeccaJ1973 (Signed) · Date: May 09, 2016 10:15 AM · On: Chapter 2 - Two Fronts

"the cottage, which they’d quickly rebuilt after the Volturi’s last incursion, hoping that they hadn’t done so just to have it torn down again." -- I see one of my questions from last chapter has been addressed. :)


" Not that I was in a position to judge them as a strange couple, after all, my mate wasn’t even the same species as me." -- just a quick nerd moment here.  Technically, two beings who can reproduce a viable offspring which can also reproduce are in the same species.  They would just be different breeds of said species (for example, a horse and a donkey can reproduce to create a mule but mules are sterile, therefore horses and donkeys are different species.  However, if you take a Chihuahua and a Great Dane and mate them, they will produce offspring which can then reproduce more offspring leaving them different breeds within the larger species group).  I know, this is another unimportant little tidbit, but the scientist in me couldn't let it pass without comment (it is something I think everytime I see someone comment that the vampires and werewolves/shifters are different species from humans and each other). ;)


"“I do not require more power, Jasper. I merely want things to remain as they are, which they will not if I try to abstain from this war, or join the opposing side. I’m not stupid, Jasper. I know Aro means to tear through the continent like the coming of the apocalypse, and I would much rather be a willing participant than just another conscripted pawn.”

Jasper shook his head and replied, “You really are a fool, Maria, or you’ve just convinced yourself that volunteering out of fear and lack of choice is the same as choosing. You are just a tool to the Volturi, one which they will run into the ground just as soon as those that they forced to join their ranks.” Jasper looked about and said in a raised voice, “And that goes for the rest of you, too.” 

There were some murmurs, shuffling, and sideways glances among Maria’s recruits. The Mexicans had not even flinched. Peter had calmed somewhat by then, so Carlisle stepped forward to address the other vampires. He said, “Jasper is right. You think by siding with Maria, with Aro, that you are choosing the winning side. Perhaps that will be the case, but it is not you who will claim victory, for few of you will live to see it. You are nothing to the Mexicans, or to the Volturi, nothing but sacrificial pawns to be deployed and expended until Aro gets what he wants. Join them and I guarantee you even if they win, you will not like the world that you will find yourselves in. You want to live as you always have, for things to remain as they are, well, that is not what you are choosing right now. You are choosing to help the Volturi make the greatest power grab in the history of our kind, to expand their tyranny beyond all restraint. You are choosing to enslave yourselves to them, and under Aro’s imperial rule, you will never know freedom, and you will never again know peace. The choice is still yours, however, so I urge you to make the right one.”" -- I love your writing in that segment.  Maria's description of what Aro has in store for the Americas is such that it causes you to grasp the sheer magnitude of the coming war, but Carlisle's speech was inspired!  Who would want to side with someone in a coming war if they knew the one whose side they took would then make slaves of them...assuming they lived that long?  Bravo!


"We have joined with the Mexicans in the hopes of preserving our way of life, but your words have certainly brought us a fresh perspective. My question to you is therefore quite simple. If we were to join your side, what can you offer us that the Mexicans and Volturi cannot?”

“I don’t know quite what you mean.”
“Let me rephrase, what guarantees can you give us? You say a world in which the Volturi have won and have absolute power will be one of servitude and terror for those of us left standing. Yet, you have not said what we can expect afterward if victory should fall to you.”
Carlisle considered but a moment and replied, “For now, I can guarantee you will not be used, you will not be needlessly sacrificed, you will not be forced into any action against your will. In fact, if any of you choose to abandon Maria now and flee this place to find shelter from this storm, we will not pursue you, or press you into serving our cause instead. Do you think Aro would say the same or Maria for that matter?”

Maria looked sour, but she still did not respond. Najac regarded her with narrowed eyes but still maintained his perpetual smile. He returned his attention to Carlisle and asked, “And what about after you win? We all know the Olympic Coven is large with many powerful gifts to hand. You also have the allegiance of these shapeshifters, and you have many loyal friends among our kind, too, themselves gifted. In a world with no Volturi, that equates to a great deal of power. How do we know that you will not try to fill the vacuum left by the demise of Aro? How do we know that you will not see fit to impose your way of life upon us? We know you feed upon animals and coexist with the humans. What if that’s not what we want? What if we want to return to our lives as they were before the war when all this is over?” " -- I gotta hand it to Najac, he asks intelligent questions and is looking to the future and not just getting through the present intact.



"If your covens have gifts or anything of use to him, he will find a way to exploit it. " -- This was a point of argument I was thinking of after finishing Equinox, that when trying to convince other covens to join them, they need to emphasize that if they have anything Aro wants he will take it from them.  And even if they do not have any gifted members at present, who is to say that they will not have one at some point in the future?  Are they willing to have someone snatched from them to satify another's greed?  

I'm glad to see you utilizing that argument because that is what it boils down to for everyone - no one will be safe from the Volturri should they win.  Aro was bad before but at least he pretended he only acted when laws were broken.  But after this, why bother?  If he wants it, he'll take it without pretense of justice or who he has to kill to get it.  They must understand that this upcoming battle is everyone's fight and that their freedom, way of life, and very lives are at stake now.


" It was a ploy. The whole attack had been cover so she could make good her escape." -- Wouldn't Edward have known this was her plan, that she'd run while her followers were killed?  In a situation like they were in, he would have been scanning the minds of everyone around him to be sure there were no surprises coming and to make sure they got all the information they could, but I would expect his largest concentration would be on Maria since he knows from Jasper what kind of person she is.

I hope I am not insulting by asking questions like these...I don't mean to be, and I certainly don't intend them as criticisms.  It is just in my nature to spot holes in a plot line (my husband loves to spot editing mistakes in movies and television - things like hair being over one should in one shot and then over the other shoulder in the next, or someone's shirt not being buttoned the same, etc.  He nitpics movies and I nitpic  But it doesn't make us like the movie or book any less just because we spot these things). ;)



Alas, I've reached the end of this saga - or at least I've read all that is currently available.  I would truly love to see this third story finished.  The teaser for it was the most exciting of the three and one I very much wanted to read, so if you ever decide to finish it...

Reviewer: RebeccaJ1973 (Signed) · Date: May 09, 2016 07:53 AM · On: Preface & Chapter 1 - Celebration

""So what are we celebrating?"

"My engagement."

Her eyes nearly fell out of her head. She smacked Dermot over the head before saying with her finger in his face, "I will have you killed, my love, before the Volturi ever get here. Why did you not tell me about this? He’s, for all intents and purposes, your brother, and you don’t tell me he’s getting married? " -- Ha!  Wait 'til she learns he already has two children running around the place! :D


"Edward arrived with Bella and Renesmee not long after." -- just wondering where Edward, Bella and Renesmee are living now that their fairy cottage was burned by the Volturri (though the stone would likely still be standing, I can't image they'd bother to repair it at this time with so much else going on and the possibility they would have to move soon).


"Sue Clearwater couldn’t even bring Charlie along, as none of them would really understand mine and Leah’s relationship, or accept it for that matter." -- I think Charlie would be okay with it as long as he knew it was one of those "Need to know" things and not what it appeared.  By now, he has to have noticed that none of the Cullens are aging, especially his daughter, so I don't think it would be that great of a stretch for him.  If Edward still looks 17 seven or so years after he first met him, having Jason look 16 wouldn't necessarily mean he was that age.  And they could just tell him the freshman cover was just the public story.  I know Edward told him about their use of public cover stories when Charlie first met Renesmee because when Charlie demanded "no more lies" he said it was important for him to know the story the public would be told.  Again, it is not much of a stretch to extend that to Jason.  Just my take on it, though. ;)



""We-were in California, near San Diego. We found her, we found that bitch, Maria."

"Calm down, Peter, what happened then?"

"We made contact but before we could say a word, she had her coven mates subdue us. She killed her, Jasper. She killed my Charlotte."" -- I had caught this quote in another review for this story and wondered at the time why Alice would not have seen this, especially given the closeness between Peter and Charlotte and Alice and Jasper.  Given the degree to which this news would upset Alice and devastate Jasper, it would be a significant future event.  Unless Maria has a hybrid or some other being who could block Alice's visions (in which case Alice would be seeing a blank), it feels off.  I had thought before (even during Breaking Dawn) that when any of them are seeking a particular person, Alice is as good as having a tracker because she only has to see which decision would lead them to the one they sought (like how she knew what hunting routes would be safe for them to use during the stand-off with Sam's pack while Bella was pregnant.  She said she'd know which routes to avoid because they would be the routes that disappeared in her visions).  Once the decision was made for Jasper and Peter to get in contact with Maria, Alice should have seen what would result (again, barring her having something that would block her visions, but, again, that would lead to her seeing a blankness rather than not having a vision - if that makes sense.  I suppose it would be like looking at pitch blackness verses looking at a void).






Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: April 15, 2014 04:40 PM · On: Chapter 2 - Two Fronts

  “Wait, she is building her own army?”(...)        “Okay, knowing that, do we still think letting Maria come to us is wise?”        Edward replied, “What else can we do?”
“Well, I’m thinking we make a pre-emptive strike. It’ll be hard enough to fight Aro’s horde without another charging at us from the south.”        “Jason, that might just weaken us before the real battle begins.”        “Or it could do the opposite.(...) Putting down Maria and the Mexicans will get Peter back into the right frame of mind, and it may boost the confidence of the others. Who knows? We might even be able to convince her allies that our side is the better bet.
”        Edward, always playing safe.  Of course, it helps it really worked your way in the end.        ;)

  'Fiona came to Jasper before we left. I noticed Alistair standing off a distance near the porch. He and Fiona had developed a rather peculiar relationship in the last month, though nearly everyone wondered what exactly was going on between them. They did nothing but aggravate each other.(...)        I wasn’t sure what to make of it. The idea of Alistair and Fiona together didn’t sit right with me. It was comparable to putting a lioness and a cheetah in a cage and seeing how well they got along.'        In other words, what an interesting couple.  Heheh!  I wanna see how they will get along.  I also wonder if she will convince him to become a vegetarian.  I don't think she would have much tolerance to a human killer.  Well, maybe he could become adept of the "package diet", at least.

  “Is there something else, Leah?”        “Yes, am, it’s important, but it can wait. Alice came to me with a proposal just before her vision, and we need to discuss it. It’s nothing to worry about, so don’t let it distract you.”        “O-kay, well, I’m sure anything Alice suggests is bound to be exciting.”        “I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised, but I do want your input first before we agree.”        Yeah, sure, just another small mistery to swirl in my head.  No problem.        :-/

  '“I am Najac of Haiti. This is my mate, Jessanna, and our daughters, Leila and Cassandre. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”        He always spoke with a smile, his voice dripping with charm, and his introduction of his coven mates as his daughters unsettled his fellow recruits and the Mexicans. Perhaps they were a real family. The younger two did resemble their “father” and “mother”.'        A real family changed together...  Intriguing idea.  Are they?  That made me curious. 

  'I glanced sideways at the river, sweeping it as far as I could up and down its course. The water was too chaotic with too much detritus for me to even guess what anything was. Jasper was assuring Peter that Maria would meet her reckoning eventually, but the fact was that this time, she had eluded us.'        Tsk!  One less demon would be a good thing.  At least, she's alone now.  Won't be of much help to Aro.  And this small victory will raise the moral of the troops.

  Just keep going, Jason.  Can't wait to see how all this will evolve.        B-)

Author's Response:

Thank you, Costa. I hope to get back on this soon. I hit another mini-funk after this chapter, and I may be getting back to the working world soon, so hopefully that'll be a little motivating to my writing. I'll try to have the next chapter up within the month of April at least. Thanks for reviewing.


Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: April 05, 2014 12:45 PM · On: Preface & Chapter 1 - Celebration

  Jason, bro, good to see you back!!  And congratulations for your engagement.  Even if I'm a little doubtful you all will have time for the Big Day in the near future.        :-)

  'We had dozens of vampires at the house now and in the surrounding property. The Quileutes were going crazy. Nearly every one of their youngsters who’d reached puberty had turned at this stage, bringing the packs to three dozen members between them.'        Hmm...  I imagine it make it hard to hide things from the non-initiated members of the tribe.  I mean, they will wonder why the heck are all their kids making themselves scarce all of a sudden, won't they?

  'Before he could respond, she’d disappeared upstairs with Alice, but the two of them were excitedly babbling on about one fashion tip or item or another. I looked at Dermot and said with dread, "Man, what have you done?"'        What indeed.  The world is not ready for two "Alices".        X-P

  "We-were in California, near San Diego. We found her, we found that bitch, Maria."(...)        "We made contact but before we could say a word, she had her coven mates subdue us. She killed her, Jasper. She killed my Charlotte."        Crap!  I never had any particular liking for Peter and Charlotte.  But his loss...  That's tough.

  A good start, Culhane.  You know, something I'm anxious to see is when all pretenses are blown to pieces.  When Aro's actions became so evident that they make their way to the media.  The reaction of the residents of Forks, especially the ones they are closer to...  That will be so interesting!        ;)

Author's Response:

Thanks, Costa, I suppose it's been a long time coming. I was in a bit of a funk after Equinox, so I took my time getting back into the writing and doing this first chapter.

Yeah I can't wait to get into the reallly dramatic parts myself when the Volturi make their final moves and don't count out the big day just yet. Remember, we have two Alices!

Reviewer: xanath (Signed) · Date: April 01, 2014 07:27 PM · On: Preface & Chapter 1 - Celebration

Jason,  I am sooooo glad to have you back writing.   THANK YOU THANK YOU for not leaving you followers.  Your stories of Jason are some of the best I have read. 

Author's Response:

Thanks xanath, and thanks for your patience with me. I was in a bit of a funk in writing terms for several months after I finished equinox and then it was slow going getting the first chapter done. I'm glad you enjoyed it, and the second one is nearly ready so I'll be posting that shortly, Thanks so much for reviewing this first chapter of the last story in this series.

You must login (register) to review.


© 2008, 2009 Twilighted Enterprises, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Unauthorized duplication is a violation of applicable laws.
Privacy Policy | Terms of Service

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the intellectual property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.