well, i do like the beginning but here's my small opinion (i'm not saying that everyone thinks this)  i've read loads and loads of stories and what grips me the most are a couple of things.  romance - don't be too long in introducing them.  loyalty - don't be having writers block half way thru, cuz that just sucks for us!  and keep it snappy.  some stories just drag things on and on and its not fun.  but your writing seems very well, keep it up

Author's Response:

Hello - first of all: thank you so much for your review! :)

Second: I totally agree with you on all counts, but would like to add something:

The introduction: will happen fairly early on. I believe in introducing main characters, which is Bella and Edward, in the first chapter of your story, which is what I'll be doing :)

Loyalty: I wont degrade you by promising that I wont suffer from writer's block on some point. I sincerely hope that wont happen, and I will, in case it do, try to build a strong network of friends, family and readers who'll gladly help me overcome a possible obstacle in the future. That being said, I'm currently writing the 3rd chapter of this multi-chaptered-fandom, and I have a fairly strong sense of where I'm taking it, so I'll try to maintain the path I'm on an keep the writing to an absolute maximum! :)

Snappy: I can't promise the first chapters will be snappy as you've put it - There's a lot of suspense intermingled into this story, and that makes the first chapters a bit more 'messy' and 'dragged', but everything will make sense later :)

 

And lastly: once again thank you for your thoughts! :)