wtf wus that????? u call that a story?????

Simply...lovely.

Author's Response:

Aww...thank you so much. :)  Glad you enjoyed it.

-LiLa

I kinda didn't get the story. Can somebody please explain to me? Im lost in here....

Author's Response:

Um, well, except for the night watchman and the teacher and students at the end of the story, the characters are all animated subjects in paintings in the Impressionist gallery.  This story is about a girl and a boy catching each other's eye across the room and sneaking through other paintings to meet in Monet's haystacks at the end of the gallery.  Does that help?

-LiLa

Haha. :) I actually really liked this. I’m surprised. I was initially very turned off by the first person native, in-depth description of what the two main characters were wearing and over use of the word ‘proper’. I face-palmed and almost just closed the window. However, for some reason, I decided to give the story a little bit more of a chance. And I’m glad I did.

The in-depth description no longer bothered me once I reached the second paragraph and discovered that the ‘characters’ were paintings. You seemed to refrain from overusing the same word anymore; and while I’m not a huge fan of first person narrative, you did a pretty good job with it. Kuddos!

Now, on to the story itself: It was a cute little tale and I got a kick out of everything that the poor guy went through trying to get and keep the wine and apples. Of course, he lost them all in the end. But the girl didn’t mind. I liked that too. It was a nice illustration of the sang, “It’s the thought that counts.” And  it showed that she wasn’t interested in being ‘wooed’. She just wanted to spend some time with him. Nice. ;)

I also got a big kick out of the part where the security guard comes by and the girl’s all worried that he’s going to find her out of her picture. Then he doesn’t even notice she’s gone, instead paying attention to anther panting, and the girl accuse him of being fickle. I’m not quite sure why, but that part put a large smile on my face. :D

I think you did a good job of describing the pictures too… and throwing in little touches to make the rest of the gallery seem as ‘alive’ as our two stars.  The ballerinas choosing to dance while the man’s passing through their picture, and the train deciding to startle the girl were both very amusing. But I think the best ‘little touch’ was the needle in the haystack at the end. LoL ;)

Anyway, I really enjoyed this and can easily see why it won the contest. Thanks for telling me about it. :)

Have a good day, and God bless.

Metro Kid.

Author's Response:

I absolutely adore your honesty:  "I actually really liked this.  I'm surprised."  That made me laugh.

I am so glad you pushed beyond the first paragraph.  Sorry it annoyed you so much.  The repetition of the word 'proper' was intended.  Sort of like an alliteration effect, but that's not the right word for it.  Where I used 'demurely' at the end of the paragraph, I wanted to use 'properly,' but I guess even I couldn't take the word anymore, because I kept putting it in and then taking it out again.  You know how you used 'Cullen' to refer to Edward, because you don't like using the same words over again?  I'm like that, too, as you noted in the rest of the piece. 

I'm so happy you enjoyed the little things throughout the story.  It was totally fun to write.  And on the thing with the guard - that's how girls are.  Pretend to shun unbidden attentions, but then when we don't get them, we're like, "hmmph!"

Thanks for stopping in (& staying till the end!)

-LiLa

 

OMG this is beautiful. It is full of imagination!

Author's Response:

You are awesome!!!  Thank you so much - thanks for the stars, too!

Lovely, original and tender.  The award is well deserved!

Author's Response:

Oh, thank you so much!  It was terribly fun to write, and it makes me happy that you enjoyed it. 

Thanks for the stars, too!

-LiLa

That story is absolutely lovely!! I giggled through the whole thing. My favorite was the needle. lol, Monet would, wouldn't he? 

Author's Response:

I'm so happy you liked it!  That crazy Monet and his antics. 

Thanks so much for leaving a review.  It's always nice to know that I made someone giggle!

-LiLa

Hi Lila! This is Several Ways, the girl who gave you 4 reviews and is about to give you 5!

OK, so I've read about 10 chaptrs of Add It Up (it's very long, u no?) and IT'S GREAT!! I'm so happy for you that you've got 300-something reviews! that's like, 100 more since the last time I reviewed!

Back to the story: She shld end up with Edward, obviously, but I just can't imagine him being "not that cool" when in real life...wait, what am I saying?...I mean, when in real FICTIONAL life, he's amazingly cool...so cool he's "too cool for school"!!

anyway, too much rambling...

btw, can I ask a HUGE favour? Will you review my story for me? I put it up not long ago and wld very much appreciate your opinion. Firstly, reviews make me extremely happy, and secondly, I honestly do want your opinion!

Author's Response:

So nice to hear from you again!  That is awesome that you've been enjoying Add It Up - BUT I just read on your profile that you're 15, so I'm really, really, really hoping (doubting, but hoping) that you skipped a few of those chapters in there - you know, the ones in Edward's dorm room.  But if you did read them, I feel obligated to say this -- don't try any of that stuff until you're married, got it!

Okay, with that out of the way......Yeah, human Edward is not nearly as cool or perfect as vampire Edward.  Wait till you get a load of Jasper - he's cool, but far from perfect.  For that story, you kind of need to suspend your pre-formed impressions of the guys and almost look at them as new characters -- although Twilight traits definitely come out, especially in Edward.

I put up a review on the first chapter of your story!  I'm so excited it focuses on Jasper.  He's my favorite too!  I'll be dropping you more reviews along the way - this is going to be fun!!

-LiLa

Ok, I was just looking at the other stories you wrote, and Add It Up has like 200 and something reviews! I think that makes it up for the low numbers on the other stories! Having read the summary, it does sound very appealing, so I'm going to read it now and probably somehow manage to give you 3 reviews again...Oh wait, with this one included, it'll be 4 reviews! :)

Author's Response:

Oh, hooray!  Thanks for checking it out.  Yes, that story has been extremely exciting and fun to share with everyone.  Looks like I've finally hit on what fanfiction readers are looking for!

-LiLa

*your* art

sorry bout that-it's late!

Author's Response:

Don't you just hate when you click the button and you notice something like that!  Happens to me ALL the time.  Anyhow, I'm so happy that my art knowledge was passable - Impressionism is the only thing I come close to knowing anything about.

-LiLa

Hey Lion, you know, I never really got to review this story.  I think that it deserved to win that contest.  It's got some great humor, like when the girl is stomping through the snow or when the guy takes a needle in the thigh. 

Perfect blend of romance, humor and classical painting trivia.

Ta

Master of teh Boot

Author's Response:

Thanks, but don't you have your own stories you should be working on???

-LiLa 

 

Your attention to detail was brilliant as per usual.  Congratulations on a well deserved win.  Loved the concept as I have always thought of art galleries/museums as places full of magic and I have often wondered what went on after the lights went out.

Author's Response: Hey - nice to see you on this story!  Thanks for checking it out - and reviewing and rating.  I'm so happy that you liked it.  Now you know what happens when the lights go down in the gallery!  (All that remains is to see what happens when Bella and Jasper go out on a date in 1988.)