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Reviewer: Emmalemma (Signed) · Date: July 16, 2014 07:16 PM · On: Wherever you go
brillianntly written, you really captured that moment
Reviewer: Emmalemma (Signed) · Date: July 16, 2014 07:14 PM · On: Wherever you go
brillianntly written, you really captured that moment
Reviewer: renee aubin (Signed) · Date: November 24, 2012 03:32 AM · On: Wherever you go
I was re-reading ch. 27 of “Mistaken Trust” before starting the new chapter, and was startled to see that you wrote a BD missing moment. I hated that book, and if you decide a review of your story isn’t an appropriate place for my rant and want to remove it, I understand. And of course if you did enjoy that book, well, I guess I’m glad for you. I have to say there are VERY few authors from whom I would even venture to read a BD story.
I hated that the way SM thought a young girl could be a hero was to (1) get pregnant virtually the first time she had sex, and (2) choose to go through with the pregnancy even though she knew it was killing her. I absolutely agreed with Jacob’s line that if she was going to choose death by baby, what was the point of everything they all went through up to that time? Apparently SM believes that motherhood is the only force in the universe that really matters.
I could go on all day about things I disliked in that book, but most of all I hated that Edward virtually disappeared in BD. The entire pregnancy was literally torture for him - how could she do that to him? And the flaws in E&B’s relationship from the first three books were only exaggerated, not resolved. Once she’s a vampire, of course, they’re equals (as if that was their only problem), but SM wasn’t able to (or chose not to) develop a human character who had the strength and savvy to stand up to a controlling, repressed vampire – quite a feat for any 18 year old, I admit. SM wasn’t able (or chose not to) let Edward's character develop – it would have been so fascinating to explore how this long-frozen vampire might grow from the experience of his love for a human, but she didn’t go there. She could only let Edward change Bella by killing her. (I’m glad to say you have definitely explored Edward learning new ways of looking at himself, Bella, and their life together in MT.)
I hated that Bella hid behind Rosalie and the others, which I also thought was a really evil kind of payback for all the times Edward had made unilateral decisions. Gotcha – now I’m in control! As I recall the book, either Bella or Rosalie decided to never let Edward be alone with her during the pregnancy. Evil.
As you might guess, I wasn’t upset that Edward yelled at her and walked away in the movie – I wanted to yell at her too. She doesn’t get to destroy his heart and then demand that he feel a certain way about it.
In your story, though, you manage to bring back the E&B connection that SM blew to smithereens. As I’ve seen in MT, you are able to slowly, carefully, and believably pick through the remains of their shattered present. While staying consistent with SM’s narrative, you at least let us remember the bond that we had believed was unbreakable. It’s interesting to see this vignette from Bella’s POV, as of course was never done in the book. And you gave us a loving insight into Edward’s torment. His choice to act as a doctor and not a husband was so well described and so chilling. I probably won’t be able to read this story again, because these moments are too painful – just as I will never read BD again – but I appreciate that you showed some much-needed empathy for Edward. You are a master of capturing the intimate moment, when just a few words, a look, or a touch can change the course of a life.
I thank the goddess every day for fanfic that ended my favorite characters’ stories in ways that are so much more satisfying than the original author’s dreadful conclusion. Thank you for your contribution to fleshing out a seriously underdeveloped facet of BD.
Author's Response: Man, I can't even tell you how much I love your reviews. And remove your review?! Not an appropriate place for your rant?! You must be joking! I LOVE hearing other people's opinions, and I absolutely love chatting with people about likes/dislikes in the books. I don't have any friends in real life that are into Twilight, so chatting within the FanFic world is my escape.
There were A LOT of things in BD I hated. Overall, I wouldn't say I hated the book, but that's more because I love the Twilgiht world so much that I will take it however I can get it, ha ha. And now that you mention it, aside from when I have gone back to read certian sections like I did when I was writing this one-shot, I have only read BD all the way through once as well, while I've read through the other three books about 3 times at least, so that says a lot.
I loved the beginning of the book, before Bella found out she was pregnant and then everything was turned upside down. When she decided to keep the baby even though it was killing her, I didn't really know what to think of that decision because I have never been pregnant before, so I didn't feel as strongly as you on that point. However, later on in the book I didn't like how it seemed SM wrote Bella & Renesmee's bond at the expense of Edward & Bella's. I remember that bugged me a bit. And there was no Edward/Renesmee bonding!
I'm completely with you on this point: 'most of all I hated that Edward virtually disappeared in BD'. Exactly! I wasn't against Edward & Bella having a baby in the end, but I hated how she handled it. Having the baby slowly killing Bella was just too much. As you said, Edward and Bella already had issues to work through. They needed to grow more together. She wrote this situation that was just so horrible for Edward to bear, and I believe that was why she ended up losing her grip on him when writing. He already blamed himself for everything and then he had to watch while Bella slowly dies because of HIS baby. This was why I didn't like the scene in the moive. In my opinion he blamed himself too much to yell at Bella, especially when she was dying with not much time left to live. It just felt wrong and very out of character to me.
The fact that SM had Edward change Bella only by killing her bothered me a lot as well. One of the most important developments of Edward's character should have been him finally making that choice to change her willingly.
And I REALLY hated how Bella hid behind Rosalie as well. That was one of the main things that distroyed that E&B connection. It's like Bella doesn't trust Edward enough to be alone with him?! That's just wrong. They should have sat down and discussed their fears with each other. The loss of the Edward & Bella connection was my main reason for writing this one-shot. And I also wanted to better explain Edward's behavoir.
Thank you so much for your kind words about my writing and this one-shot. You have given me some of the best compliments I can get, and it means more than I can say.
~Lisa
Reviewer: heidimmt (Anonymous) · Date: October 22, 2012 03:04 PM · On: Wherever you go
I don't know if heartbroken is the correct word but somehow it fits. Sometimes hurt is not necesarily bad, it's just the begining of a healing process. I agree with you that Edward would never act the way he did, he was just scared of losing her and having to carry on with an eternal reminder of why she wasn't with him anymore. As she said, afraid of allowing himself to love their baby after losing her *sighs* ;o( I easily understand why you felt compelled to set the record straight for them. The song was beautifully picked and I had it in loop while reading and bawling my eyes out, it really added to it. Now I can say that two of my favorite moments in BD have not come from the book: The honeymoon *nuf said abaout that* and this heart-to-heart between Edawrd and Bella. Thanks for a beautifully written story that achieved the level of emotional depth that BD and most of the whole series lacked (watch out SM...) I think your final words wrapped it up perfectly: Two miracles, her family, where else would she be if not with them?
Author's Response: Wow! I truly felt you really understood all I was trying to bring out with this, and that's the best kind of compliment for a writer. Thanks so much for that. I especially liked how you brought out the point of Edward being afraid of letting himself love the baby. One thing I didn't like so much in Breaking Dawn was that it didn't delve deep enough into the reasoning behind Edward's behavior.
And I'm glad to know you listened to the music that inspired the story.
Thanks so much again for your kind review. I'm so very flattered that it has become one of your favorite moments!
Reviewer: Anonymous (Anonymous) · Date: September 21, 2012 12:49 AM · On: Wherever you go
Thank you for this one-shot! I loved it!
I totally agree with you - that scene in the movie was just so wrong. I actually shuddered when he yelled at her. That was SO not Edward! And there are way to little Edward-Bella moments in Breaking Dawn. So many tragic scenes that could have been written and sadly were not.
I cried when I read this one. It was really, really sad, but then, I like sad scenes, especially when they are as well written as yours.
Do you think about writing another one? Because I really, really would like to read an EPOV of the birth scene. Not the gory details, but the emotional turmoil...
But then, I am also waiting for the next chapter of Mistaken Trust. I already adored this story, but when you rewrote the beginning, the impossible happend - it got even better.
I know how busy RL can be, believe me. I wish you the best, and hopefully, you will find some time to write.
JJ
Author's Response: So sorry I took so long to respond! And from the way you sign your review as 'JJ' I'm assuming you are the JourneyJohnny who leaves me such lovely reviews on Mistaken Trust? :) Thank you so, so, sooo much for your kind comment about MT. It means so much to me to hear that you have gone back and read the edited chapters and notice an improvement. I can't even tell you how much that means after spending months trying to edit them. As for the next chapter of MT, it is now complete, and I just submitted it to my validation beta yesturday (Nov 8), so it should be up any day now!!
Now, back to the review at hand. I'm so happy you enjoyed this one-shot, and I'm especially happy to know you agree with me about Edward yelling at Bella in the movie. I've had some people try to rationalize his reaction in the movie and I do see where they are coming from, but it still just doesn't fit Edward's personality. It feels completely wrong to me. Glad you agree!
I do plan to write more completely canon one-shots like this one, and I actually have two in my head that I want to write at some point. One of them is an New Moon E/B moment and the other is a Edward/Renesmee/Bella moment from Edward's point of view (there wasn't enough on Edward as a daddy in BD!). I just haven't written them yet because I'm trying to focus on finished MT. EPOV of the birth scene? Wow, now that would be really, REALLY tough to write. I'm not sure I could do that one, but I will keep it in mind.
Anyway, thanks so much for your review!
~Lisa
Reviewer: Felicity (Anonymous) · Date: September 17, 2012 06:40 AM · On: Wherever you go
Aw, I thought this was really lovely! In keeping with the style of the book and true to the characters. I got a bit choked up! Lovely. Well done. I think you should write more.
Reviewer: faiza (Anonymous) · Date: August 29, 2012 07:19 AM · On: Wherever you go
it was awesome!!!
thank u so very much.. i'm touched....
really, thanks for this great piece :)
Reviewer: Naomi Cullen Badcock (Anonymous) · Date: August 03, 2012 07:50 AM · On: Wherever you go
That was amazing , it should really be in the book, i hate having Jacob moments, i love Bella And Edward, they are perfect :)
I subscribed to your channel and your backup i love your videos :) x
Reviewer: Rynnka (Anonymous) · Date: August 03, 2012 01:30 AM · On: Wherever you go
Thank you, it would be perfect in BD. I did miss something like this.
Reviewer: gingerhat (Signed) · Date: July 14, 2012 01:48 PM · On: Wherever you go
Lovely. Just lovely. You made me tear up. *sniff* Like you, part of me thought Edward would never yell at her or let Rosalie keep him away from her like was sort of implied in the movie. Nor would Bella have stood for that, I think. Now, admittedly, a little part of me could understand his very natural frustration, despair, helplessness, and, yes, even some anger that would be expressed that way. And perhaps the stress and tension had reached such an unbearable level that rather than attempt to bottle up all that yet again, he needed to leave for a moment to 'regroup' and gain some control. As much as we like to think differently, he's not perfect. No matter, I thought you captured something very poignant with this and I am delighted to add it to my favorites.
Thanks so much,
Ginger
Reviewer: Robsten0123 (Signed) · Date: June 29, 2012 04:11 AM · On: Wherever you go
I love it! But I must admit you made me cry like a little baby :)
Author's Response: Thank you for admitting because that's the best compliment for me, knowing you were touched by it :) I cried when I wrote it too. But hopefully you can feel better knowing it all ends happy :) Thanks so much for reading, reviewing, and your lovely rating!
Reviewer: Bella3268 (Signed) · Date: June 19, 2012 02:10 PM · On: Wherever you go
That was absolutely . . . lovely for lack of a better word. If I didn't know the ending of this one-shot I would most certaintly ask for more.
~Bella~
Author's Response: Aw, thank you for such a wonderful compliment.
Reviewer: Twilight131 (Signed) · Date: May 09, 2012 01:34 PM · On: Wherever you go
Completely agree with you on Edward in Breaking Dawn (the movie) - SO out of character. I could really get on a roll complaining about all the ways the movies just ruined Edward, but I'll spare you :-) This was hard to read - very sad. It made me remember how tense I felt reading Breaking Dawn. There was no Edard and Bella love to temper the awfulness. I wish this had been in the book! Great Story!
On a side note, have you heard the song "Be Still" by The Fray? The minute I heard it, I thought of Mistaken Trust. Seeing the song lyrics in this story reminded me that I've been meaning to mention that to you. I could definitely see it being incorporated in a chapter or in an awesome Lisa254 you tube video :-)
Author's Response: Gosh, I'm so sorry. I could've sworn I'd already replied to this review, but I just noticed now that I didn't! I think I answered you in my head, lol. Because I really wanted to thank you for the song inspiration. The song truly touched me a lot. You are right, it really fits with my story, and I have listened to it many times now. I've been going through quite a lot of stress right now and it helped keep my inspiration with writing the next chapter of MT. I still have a lot of work to do on the new chapter, but I'm doing my best to get it out as soon as possible.
And thanks for reading and reviewing this little one-shot. I think we have the same views. I have a lot of complaints with the movies, lol.
Reviewer: sarasue (Signed) · Date: May 02, 2012 12:35 PM · On: Wherever you go
well im bawling ;[ sooo good tho and hey im canadian too frm alberta you go girl!
Author's Response: Well, hello there, my fellow Canuck!! He he. I'm from Ontario! Thank you so much for reading and dropping me a line! So glad you enjoyed it, even if it made you shed a few tears! Knowing you were touched by it is the best kind of compliment, so thank you!!!
Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: May 01, 2012 01:43 AM · On: Wherever you go
Very touching. And very in-character too. I say you nailed both of them just right. And, as you said, thanks to Stephenie Edward didn't have to "make it through". Personally, I avoid AUs showing the other way around like the plague. :-P
Thumbs up for you, Lisa. ^_^
Author's Response: Aww, thank you very much! That means a lot. Yeah, I never like stories without a happy ending either!
Thanks for reading and reviewing!!!!
Reviewer: leeseeq (Signed) · Date: April 30, 2012 03:35 PM · On: Wherever you go
I agree that in the Movie Edward was OOC, and it bugged. I guess if you look at it another way it's probably more true to life how it would happen between real couples. I know if my husband was dying for what I thought was an irrational, preventable and completely unnecessary reason we'd probably have some heated words. You put that kind of stress on people and there's gonna be an argument. But that's the whole point, even if that's what REAL couples would do, it isn't what Edward would do and isn't that part of the reason we love him so much? That he's somehow above those pesky human traits our real life mates have? :)
Author's Response: It's true. That's why we love him so much. But also I kind of feel that if there was going to be an argument like as in real couples they should've had it happen much earlier. To be honest I don't even think that many people would have yelled at someone they loved when they were in Bella's condition at that point. If the timepoints in the movie match with the book, the time that he yelled at her was when she was much too frail to be able to survive even if she had agreed to have them remove the baby. It was just before they realized she could drink blood to make her stronger and she was at her worst. It was right about the time that Jacob observed that she looked like she had only hours left to live. If someone you loved looked like they only had hours left, would you spend it shouting at them? He yells and then just walks out and leaves her?! Of course, I guess the thing is from the movie you don't really get the detail about how weak she really is, and it seems maybe they made her stronger, so I guess maybe that's it. But even still, as we said, it's completely out of Edward's character, and I feel he blamed himself much too much to yell at Bella. Anyhow, I shall shut up now, lol. Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts!!
Reviewer: Syndi-Dowell (Signed) · Date: April 26, 2012 07:07 PM · On: Wherever you go
Lovely. :)
Author's Response: Thank you!!!
Reviewer: cherylstweedy (Signed) · Date: April 26, 2012 12:19 PM · On: Wherever you go
Wow, brought tears to my eyes. I really loved this.
Author's Response: Aww, thank you. Knowing you were touched by it is the best kind of compliment!
Reviewer: Chnctgislnd07 (Signed) · Date: April 25, 2012 11:17 PM · On: Wherever you go
Good a little sad but good and sooo Bella :)
Author's Response: Thanks!
Reviewer: murmureetoile (Signed) · Date: April 25, 2012 05:56 AM · On: Wherever you go
Great one-shot!! And I totally agree with you! Where was Edward in Breaking Dawn (the book)? I didn't recognize him in the few scenes he had... It was a real disappointment for me. He had almost no interaction with his daughter! No bonding-scene with the child he hated so much... Rosalie whisked her away, and after Bella's change, it was Jacob!
So, personnaly, my ideal version of BD was "Blood Lines", beautifully written by Windchimes!
Anyway, thank you for writing this much needed scene!
Author's Response: Thank you! So glad you agree. Yeah, I was very disappointed as well, especially with the fact that there was no bonding at all between Edward and his daughter! That was most definitely the biggest let-down.
Thanks for the rec! I've read some of her work before - she's fabulous!
You are very welcome! Thank you for reading! I'm so glad you liked it!
Reviewer: Sheeijan (Signed) · Date: April 24, 2012 11:34 PM · On: Wherever you go
Yeah I was just stunned in the theater when he started yelling at Bella. I kept waiting and waiting for him to, you know, turn back into Edward and not the EdwardClone that had taken over. It was jarring and weird to me, that scene.
I like the idea of Bella being more fatalistic and realizing she wasn't going to make it. In the book never seemed to face that possibility too realistically. Liked this!
Author's Response: Me too! So nice to know some else felt the same. They really lost Edward's character completely there.
Yes! This was one of the things that bothered me in the books. Though she did admit to Jacob that she knew there was a chance she wouldn't make it, she never really seemed to face that possibility. After what happened in New Moon, she KNEW what Edward was like and that he would go kill himself if she died, yet she did noting to try and convince him to live on if she didn't make it. This bugged me. So I tried to incorporate this little scene (just before she drank the blood to improve her condition) where she finally faces the reality that she would most likely die and tries to get through to Edward and convince him to go on without her.
So glad you enjoyed it. Thanks so much for reviewing and sharing your thoughts!
Reviewer: Looby Luscious (Signed) · Date: April 24, 2012 05:13 PM · On: Wherever you go
I loved it - and you are right about the film. Mind you, I think they got the whole relationship wrong in Eclipse too. I wonder if any of them can imagine an all encompassing love like Bella and Edward, or whether they bowed to the "make it realistic" clan.
Either way, smashing little one shot!
Author's Response: So happy you enjoyed it! And I'm very glad you agree with me about the movie. And you're right--I have complaints about the way things were done in Eclipse as well. I think you've nailed it exactly! In the movies it seems they tried to adjust things from the books in a way to make it more realistic, but in affect they lost some of the essence of the love story.
Anyway, thanks so much for reading and sharing your thoughts!
Reviewer: Snowball Sniper (Signed) · Date: April 24, 2012 03:43 PM · On: Wherever you go
That was heartbreakingly beautiful. You're right; Edward was a bit too harsh in the movie... But it was because he never wanted to hurt Bella and I think he was more harsh towards himself than he was to Bella. But that's my opinion.
Do another out take. Love the way you wrote this.
Author's Response: Aw, thank you for your kind words! I'm so happy you enjoyed it! Yes, from the books we definitely see how hard Edward was on himself, but for me this was exactly what the problem was in the movie. I felt that that wasn't put across very well in the movie. In the books he was the burning man and withering away with pain and guilt as he watched Bella die, but in the movie he just mainly seemed angry to me, and his outburst at Bella particularly bothered me. There were some parts of the movie I felt were done well, like the scene where Edward hears the baby's thoughts, but overall I felt there wasn't enough angst on Edward's part. Anyway, thanks so much for sharing your thoughts!
It's a wonderful compliment to know you want to see more like this from me! I will probably do more outtakes in the future, whenever the inspiration points me in that direction. My main focus right now, though, is finishing my longer story "Mistaken Trust"
Reviewer: k1942 (Signed) · Date: April 24, 2012 12:59 PM · On: Wherever you go
It's just what should have happened, that's all . I had faith that Bella would get through to Edward and make him realize that he must go on, for their child and for himself. As you said, good thing we know it turns out okay, otherwise, I might have to shed a tear!
Author's Response: Aww, thank you for such a wonderful compliment! Love how you bring up Bella getting through to Edward and convincing him he must go on. This was one of the main things that bugged me a lot about the books. Bella KNEW what Edward was like and that if she died he would kill himself, and even Jacob reminded her of it, yet she did nothing to try and get through to Edward. I know she was always trying to think that she would make it, but she still did know that there was a chance she wouldn't -she admitted that to Jacob. And what did she do about it? NOTHING. But then, with JPOV we didn't get to really see ANY communication between Edward and Bella during her pregnancy, so hence the inspiration for this one-shot.
Reviewer: twifansp (Signed) · Date: April 24, 2012 02:56 AM · On: Wherever you go
Love this story!!! I totally agree with your POV. Stephanie should have had more moments like this between E&B in the book. She really missed a wonderful opportunity. Never understood why we were stuck with wolf boy's POV. Don't want to start on "screenwriter" Rosenberg. Doubt ever read the books or truly understands why we all fell in love with the series. I think she missed the mark on Edward through out most of the movies. He would have never yelled at Bella like that and left her alone.
Author's Response: So glad you enjoyed it! And so happy to hear you agree with me. You're right - Rosenberg never really seemed to truly get the 'it' that Twilight has.
Thanks so much for reading and sharing your thoughts!!
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