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Reviewer: Midnight Ariel (Signed) · Date: December 23, 2011 02:02 AM · On: The Proposal
To me, it was sad that Garrett and Kate's furture wasn't gone into farther in the books. However, so near the end, SM had to be concerned with the pace and flow. I supposed taking the side path of G&K would have disrupted that.
Interesting twist with Maria.
Author's Response: Yeah, I agree with you on Garrett and Kate. They make a great couple and interesting characters. It was fun, building a backstory for Garrett. I also tried to focus on the playful banter Kate and Tanya would have at Garrrett's expense. As far as this chapter specifically - I thought I'd either make a hit or not a hit regarding Maria. The census is that everyone liked the idea and thought it was plausible.
Reviewer: Midnight Ariel (Signed) · Date: December 22, 2011 01:25 PM · On: The Battle!
I can see things giong that way but for me the different POVs can get repetitive. That however, is just is difference of opinion and no reflection on your writing skills. I will be reading the next chapter as soon as time allows.
Author's Response: To be honest - I always felt when writers went back and forth between Edward and Bella's POV during a story; recapturing the same time frame; it was too repetitive, but in defending my use of the different POVs, I wanted to capture as much as the action as possible; and the only overlapping was in a few instances. Thanks for your comments - and I know, I owe you my own elaboration on your magnificent tale. :-)
Reviewer: Midnight Ariel (Signed) · Date: December 22, 2011 07:55 AM · On: The Sacrifice
Looking forward to getting to the fight.
Author's Response: LOL... based on your review only being the third one for this chapter - I think everyone was saying; "hurry up with the battle!" :-)
Reviewer: Midnight Ariel (Signed) · Date: December 22, 2011 07:23 AM · On: The Strategy
The alternate POV are interesting but there is also a lot of original stuff here. However, it is just a different kind of fan fic.
Author's Response: I can see where too many POVs can be a bad thing AND I was always worried that I wouldn't be able to pull it off without all the POVs seeming the same. But the senses thus far was that I did succeed. :-)
Reviewer: Midnight Ariel (Signed) · Date: December 22, 2011 06:59 AM · On: The Romanians
Of course Maria has a motive. That is part of who she is. Nice chapter.
Author's Response: Yeah - Maria added an element of mystery to this whole process; didn't she? You must have also loved how Maria put Jasper on a pedestal. The three of them were lethal in that little test Maria sprang on them. :-)
Reviewer: Midnight Ariel (Signed) · Date: December 22, 2011 05:51 AM · On: The Decision
Don't be discouraged by the amount of reviews. It seems are low percentage of readers take the time to leave a review for each chapter they read. Sad but true.
Author's Response: Yeah - I can relate NOT sending out a review after reading every chapter. This happened to be the chapter where I felt things took off - especially given Alice's horrific vision - and Jasper's declaration. It felt it was cool that Kachiri witness this.
Reviewer: Midnight Ariel (Signed) · Date: December 22, 2011 04:52 AM · On: The Amazons
I like the hisotrical fiction you added. I have wanted to try that for a while but have not...yet. Yes, Jasper deserves the pedestal, but anyone who reads my stuff knows that.
Looking forward to the next chaper.
~MA
Author's Response: Yes; I most certainly know how you feel about Jasper. :-) I had fun with my research of Daniel Boone. And I, along with Emmett, had no idea Boone was a Colonel during that war. Boone did travel by foot across the wilderness (the US) when he was in his late seventies.
Reviewer: Midnight Ariel (Signed) · Date: December 22, 2011 04:34 AM · On: The Shield
I like reading the POV of others. Well done.
Author's Response: Thanks Midnight Ariel (MA.) So, you have stumbled upon my Breaking Dawn - The Battle. :-)
Reviewer: supervamp1234 (Signed) · Date: April 11, 2011 06:03 AM · On: The Epilogue
Oh. My. God. That was an amazing story.
Author's Response: Hey, Supes: Thanks for the note - safe to say you enjoyed it - I appreciate the superstars packed response!
Reviewer: ali208 (Signed) · Date: April 09, 2011 10:01 AM · On: The Epilogue
I loved your story. I am sorry that I haven't written a review before I was to enthrawled in reading it. I think that this was a much better way to end things. As SM did leave things kinda open ended. I enjoyed your writing style and creativity, I wish I could write as well as you. I wish SM could write as well as you. I hope you continue to write.
Author's Response: Thanks for the stars! Glad this tale made an impact - and I grinned at your compliments. :-) And yes, I've been working on a tale set in the Bella and Edward Show universe. Which of course means canon... and POST Breaking Dawn by a lot of years. It is dark... and still has a way to go before I start sending the chapters in for publication.
Reviewer: Pikapuff (Signed) · Date: March 24, 2011 09:36 AM · On: The Epilogue
Loved this story - what a wonderful take on a much more exciting, and complete ending. I love that there weren't any loose ends, and that everything was totally canon. Well done!
Author's Response: Thanks Pikapuff... glad you enjoyed it! I'm going to assume you didn't stumble upon this tale and that it was recommended - so, I'm glad you gave my tale a shot! :-)
Reviewer: CarrieW (Signed) · Date: March 22, 2011 12:32 PM · On: The Shield
An additional, as it was oversighted.
Author's Response: LOL... yeah, you must have been rolling your eyes at that. :-) Thanks for the stars - glad you enjoyed 99.9% of it!
Reviewer: CarrieW (Signed) · Date: March 22, 2011 12:31 PM · On: The Shield
I actually really liked the story, and it was an oversight on my part to leave no stars. I apologize for that. As for the tryst with Felix, I definitely would have enjoyed it.
You have to cater to the readers of course, and they would have wanted that part. So it wasn't bad, just my opinion.
Reviewer: CarrieW (Signed) · Date: March 21, 2011 09:32 PM · On: The Epilogue
"The leader appears to be a male but he defers to the redhead you asked me to observe. I'm not sure if this is important, but the redhead is a lesbian... and definitely has some sort of sway over the five other females. She actually makes use of them on a rotating basis." -- :(
This is basically only complaint about the whole thing. It was unnecessary, I guess -- to label it. You could have had the same impact without the labels, I think. I guess I am just disappointed with the predictability of that, when everything else was so spot-on.
Overall, I really enjoyed it. You probably could have broken the epi into several more chapters, and I realize how difficult it is to bring these things to a close. They sort of take on a life of their own.
All in all, completely impressive and a great alternate ending.
Author's Response: Well, it's too bad that part put a sour taste in your mouth - because it more than likely ruined the whole story for you. Your the first person that complained about that... other than my wife, so I'll basically respond to you the same way I responded to her. Oh well...
You probably would have preferred my original idea that was supposed to go here. I was going to have a wrestling match between Emmett and Felix. Really. :-)
The one thing I was surprised about was the fact that you read all ten chapters, and didn't leave a star rating in a single one. Then maybe that works to my benefit, given the lack of stars my Epilogue would have received. Like I said - oh well...
Thanks for reading and reviewing! :-)
Reviewer: CarrieW (Signed) · Date: March 21, 2011 12:35 PM · On: The Aftermath
I love love love the Charlie moment! I could never have one of those myself, and I am in awe and quite sure, this is exactly how I would have wanted it. :) Yay! For his happy ending.
Now, as for Renee. I cannot put her in, no matter how much I try? She just doesn't work for me at all. I completely boycotted her altogether in the first, and she is equally nonexistent in the second. heh.
But THANK YOU for the Charlie moment.
Author's Response: I was pleased with the way the Charlie segment came off... I can understand what you meant regarding Rene - but you can only blame SM for the way you feel about her. :-)
Reviewer: CarrieW (Signed) · Date: March 21, 2011 12:07 PM · On: The Proposal
Haha! Where was Jake when they were doing all thise joking? I really can't imagine him having been far, and I think he would definitely have something to say about Nessie taking a trip.
Author's Response: Jake was already heading back to the Reservation. :-)
Reviewer: CarrieW (Signed) · Date: March 21, 2011 11:39 AM · On: The Battle!
I'm glad they got the battle that SM left out. I feel one coming of my own, but I just don't know how I will get through it without any of the good-guys dying. :( I do wish there would have been a little more detail in regards to Jane, and I had sort of hoped she would get to fight Bella -- but I understand why she couldn't. She isn't exactly a 'fighter"
As for loosing readers -- you really shouldn't worry over that. A lot of readers look at the first chapter, and if they don't see any signs of a lemon, they don't bother reading it. Sad truth. It's into chapter 2, and the readers you pull into it, that you will find your dedicated crowd. :)
Author's Response: Hmmm... No way I could justify a Bella - Jane fight. She had to be taken out before the get go... and only Jasper could do this. To be honest, I was praying for an Emmett - Felix fight. Unfortunately, I couldn't get swing it. Keep that in mind when I respond to your comments regarding my epilogue. :-)
Reviewer: CarrieW (Signed) · Date: March 21, 2011 11:17 AM · On: The Sacrifice
Ah -- are you actually giving us the battle we missed???!!
Author's Response: Yes, it most certainly looks that way, doesn't it? :-)
Reviewer: CarrieW (Signed) · Date: March 21, 2011 11:03 AM · On: The Strategy
eeeee. I'm a little scared to see how you play Edward. I always get a little concerned where he is involved. It's so different seeing things this way -- entirely plausible.
Author's Response: Yeah, I'll admit, I'm not into doing Edward's POV either... and that was why I took the easy way out and used him more as a plot device than anything else. Jasper needed to contact Edward in chapter 6 and there was nothing really difficult regarding Edward's POV in chapter 8. Glad you are still enjoyin it to this point...
Reviewer: CarrieW (Signed) · Date: March 20, 2011 12:13 PM · On: The Romanians
Love this side of Jasper, and I am excited to see what happens next. It's interesting to think about the possibilities that were happening behind Edward and Bella's back. I guess when I was reading SM's books, I was so enamored with them that I forgot about the others. This is actually great. :)
Author's Response: So happy you are enjoying it! Thank you for reviewing! Jasper is awesome and it would be just like Alice and him to work something like this behind Edward's (practically everyone's back!) I bet Maria's presense came as a surprise, huh? :-)
Reviewer: CarrieW (Signed) · Date: March 20, 2011 11:53 AM · On: The Decision
I'm curious to see what Alice will see that will change her mind in bringing Nahuel. I'm also pretty sure I am in for a late night, because I want to read more. heh.
Author's Response: Remember, Alice couldn't see Nahuel... and she only speculated as to Aro using Nahuel's sisters:
"Nahuel's sisters!" Alice suddenly cried out. "I couldn't see Nahuel in the vision, but he must have mentioned his sisters during his testimony and I bet they used them as shields against my vision."
"Very perceptive, Alice… it makes sense that Aro would have gained this knowledge when he read Edward. We need to inform Nahuel and Huilen that their witness is no longer required, and it will be wise for Nahuel to continue shielding until this is over."
The knowledge I'm referring to is Edward's knowledge of Alice not being able to see Renesmee because she being a hybrid. The decision not to bring Nahuel was Jasper's decision. First, he was concerned about his and Hulien's safety, and two, he knew having Nahuel travel with them would risk them not seeing a change in plans... or something happening back at the Cullen compound.
Reviewer: CarrieW (Signed) · Date: March 20, 2011 11:34 AM · On: The Amazons
I love Jasper for different reasons, but I really like how you have captures this side of them. You are quite handy with the dialogue as well. Looking forward to more :)
Author's Response: Thanks! Given how incredible I feel your writing is, a compliment from you goes a long way. I always felt SM under-utilized Jasper's character during BD. I made it a mission to rectify that in my story. :-)
Reviewer: CarrieW (Signed) · Date: March 20, 2011 11:11 AM · On: The Shield
I was a little concerned at your choice of POV, but I am actually really interested to see how this is going to play out. Ahh, happy Kate. I am a bit of a sucker for romance :)
Author's Response: Selecting POVs can be frightening. Garrett and especially Jasper, were easy... but I struggled over whether I would select Tanya or Kate. I guess Tanya's previous obsession with Edward pushed me towards Kate, despite the fact that Kate and Garrett fall in love during BD. Hope you are too disappointed with how they play out. :-)
Reviewer: willyjoe (Signed) · Date: December 02, 2010 04:55 PM · On: The Epilogue
I absolutely loved this story! You are a very talented writer and I am very much looking forward to reading other stories you have written.
Author's Response: Glad you found it enjoyable to the end! :-) Thanks for the compliements!
Reviewer: willyjoe (Signed) · Date: December 02, 2010 04:22 PM · On: The Aftermath
Such a great story. Thank you for sharing it!
Author's Response: :-)
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