Your off to a good start. Keep it up, I know I'll be waiting to read more!
You might consider a brief sequence that could demonstrate the views and expectations that Rosalie was raised with like a flash back or remembered events where it was made clear what Rosalies part was in her family. Explain what her thoughts were and what her emotions compelled her to do.
Did Rosalie love her parents or was she eager to be away from their manipulative natures, did she feel like marrying Royce would give her power over them or was she just desperate for her parents approval? Was She happy, or settling, did she feel like she could do better. Did she feel unfufilled like she was meant for more? We know she wanted to be a mother it was her greatest desire but what about other common desires like crushes-lust-sex-education-ideals-career the things her mother didnt allow. She did end up with Emmet afterall! We know she is a gifted mechanic and has a natural gift for tearing things apart and mending them again.
Clearly in life as well as immortality she was a type A personality and all that that entails.
Keep in mind that in her time what was considered a reasonable expectation by todays standards like love in marriage, equality or dominace in a relationship was defined by sex-class-politics-location-and family backround so a woman had to keep the future always at the forefront of her choice.
Only the poor could marry for love everyone else had an agenda.
And what about Royce? His character is alot like the fiance from Titanic, everyone knows he's a useless whelp but money buys privledge and nobody questions the rich, but there MUST have been gossip, he was hardly lowkey. Was Rosalie really okay with the party boy or did she think marriage would settle him down, or did she think she could manipulate the power she would gain and her freedom was just the cost of that gain.
Basically,
Was She young and naive desperate for her parents love and approval, sheltered from reality by parents who only wanted to use her to their gain.
Or was she so jaded by her upbringing that she agreed with her parents, I deserve him because Im Rosalie Hale. I deserve the best.
Or was this her chance to rebel, A life lived as nothing more than eye candy expected to elevate her family through marriage is enough to anger any girl and Rosalie was intelligent. By the '30's women were much more empowered in making a match for themselves but they had to be careful because divorce would cause scandal and by marrying this man she would finally hold more power than her parents, she would be in charge of her life not them, they would look to her for gain in social standing that she could give or deny.
Anywho I hope this longass rant has helped!
Keep up the good work.
-M
Author's Response: Haha your longass rant did indeed help. I'll be following your suggestions in upcoming chapters for sure!
