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Reviews For Betrayed
Reviewer: ShadowPast (Signed) · Date: March 26, 2011 10:43 AM · On: Chapter 1

I try hard to be objective because I write, too, and I know how much criticism can hurt.  But -- as much as I like your style of writing, I don't like your treatment of Jacob's character.  I honestly can't see him slapping Bella.  Please continue writing.  I will simply find other stories to read.

Reviewer: lifeisharder (Signed) · Date: August 29, 2010 11:48 AM · On: Chapter 1

I'm very curious about the Edward's reaction, it's actually not that obvious what's he going to do, I think. I would even expect him to be so furious and angry to just kill him immediately. but seriously, I don't know. I'm looking forward the next chapter!

Reviewer: ignorence_is_bliss (Signed) · Date: August 07, 2010 03:07 AM · On: Chapter 1

I like this story so far and I can't wait for more hopefully Edward sweeps in to save the day

 

Reviewer: bella32 (Signed) · Date: July 30, 2010 11:46 AM · On: Chapter 1

I'm dying to read more of this story; very interesting! Please update soon! :)

Reviewer: robert cullen (Signed) · Date: May 21, 2010 01:00 PM · On: Chapter 1

Where the hell is Edward??? Shouldn't- Oh yeah, in the book he said he wouldn't listen, shit!

Reviewer: IssaBissa (Signed) · Date: May 20, 2010 09:09 AM · On: Chapter 1

Hmmmm...........An interesting star to your story! Keep up the good work! I have to say that I am deffinatly intruged.

Reviewer: Saydonee (Signed) · Date: May 01, 2010 03:13 PM · On: Chapter 1

No offense to SM but I never liked the way she wrote that scene. I always hated Jake's childish and arrogant emotional manipulation of Bella to get that kiss. Bella is not nearly that naive and stupid when we meet her in Twilight, so I really love that you have her calling him on it! Then to top it all Bella realizes that she was in love with Jacob too, just not as much as Edward, wtf? In my opinion it was all him making her feel guilty and maybe any residual confusion or grief she had about leaving all of her human family behind. You don’t fall even a little bit in love with someone else when you are so depressed and grieving for the loss of your soul mate, that you become an adrenaline junkie just so you can better imagine his voice in your head. Bella was using a friend, who wanted more than she could give, as a distraction. Then that friend, out of hatred for his enemy, used his unrequited love and decided that he needed to take up the torch of saving Bella. I can’t wait to see where you take this.



Author's Response:

Thank you so much for the review. I appreciate you taking the time! As for Jacob, well I agree.

Reviewer: Majesta Moniet (Signed) · Date: May 01, 2010 07:39 AM · On: Chapter 1

Hey there.

I clicked on your story because from the summary I assumed it was a Jacob/Bella story.  Clearly, it's not.

But I thought I'd drop you a line to suggest that you add some things to your summary: "E/B" and "OOC" because your portrayal of Jacob isn't canon.

As someone who enjoys Jacob's character, I was deeply offended by what I read, and adding those things might keep away other readers who would feel the same way.



Author's Response:

I'm sorry I offended you, and I just put that it's canon couples in the summary. Thank you for reading!

Reviewer: squarepancake (Signed) · Date: May 01, 2010 07:19 AM · On: Chapter 1

I would hope that Sam would issue an alpha command for him to stop as soon as Jake phased. Because yeah, talk about betraying the basic tenets of their tribe.

Author's Response:

Sam definately will have something to say about Jacobs behavior in the next chapter. Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: Little-lamb (Signed) · Date: May 01, 2010 07:08 AM · On: Chapter 1

Great start. I've never read a story where Jacob is so vicious. Is Edward going to come to the rescue?



Author's Response:

Edward will make his appearance in the next chapter. Let's just say that he is NOT happy. Thank you for reading and taking the time to review!

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