Emmett takes his time to walk us through Emmett's Guide to Sex as originally seen in Shotgun Charlie.  He will break down all the important chapters and give us some valuable pointers.

You may want to read Shotgun Charlie to fully appreciate how this story came to be!

Step right up ladies and gentleman - girls, and boys!

Step inside the place where anything can happen, no subject is void.

Come greet with the ringmasters of this glorious feed,

Where nothing makes sense, but you still have to read.

We aim to offend with no subject untouched;

We exploit the taboos, the unmentionables and such.

There is nothing mature in this series of sin;

Those with weak stomachs should not read what’s herein.

So before you enter the circus where idiocy is born,

This is NC-17, consider yourselves warned….

Upon Bella and Edward's first meeting, not a single cliche will be spared.

"Entwined on the hard asphalt of the school parking lot in Forks, Washington, our hero and heroine manage to look extremely cozy and incredibly inappropriate at the same time."

A crackfic of Bella and Edward's first meeting, were they human and incredibly, incredibly annoying.

If people like the crack and respond favourably... they may just receive more.

The following crackfic is the result of watching too much Hellsing and Austin Powers.  I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. 

Carlisle is worried about Edward's impending wedding night and comes up with an unorthodox solution in order to help Edward.

I WARN YOU THIS IS OUT THERE.  MAY NOT BE A STORY FOR EVERYONE SO PLEASE BE WARNED.

Also, this story will be complete in 3 chapters...4 at the most.

I own no things Twilight but do donate to read all things Twilight!  Please help out too!

What if everything goes wrong when Bella is changed? A  two-chapter parody, co-written with a friend of mine. Enjoy!

Truth or Dare Cullen style is seriously extreme, and Edward, Emmett and Jasper fall victims to a vicious dare given by none other than Alice. this was a challenge my friend gave me The one-shot has everything from play to tutus, an will keep you laughing! So read to follow one of Emmett's most embarrassing dare, Alice's most vicious game, and the Cullen boys' possible debut in the on-stage Ballet industry!!!

Emmett loses a bet and ends up on the wrong side of a Santa Suit.

Marve's Edward meets Wish_girl's Bella in high school. Hilarity and hijinks ensue.

The Cullen Bunch 

Here's the story of a long dead lady,

Who was bringing up three very lonely girls.

All of them had eyes of gold, like their mother,

None of them have curls 

Here's the story, of a man named Cullen,

Trying to manage three boys on his own

They were four men, living all together,

So tired of being alone 

Then one day the lady met this fellow

And she knew that he wouldn’t be her lunch

So this group somehow became a family

That's the way we all became the Cullen Bunch.

The Cullen Bunch, The Cullen Bunch. 

That's the way we became the Cullen Bunch.

First installment of the More of that Ladders Crap series.

The night Edward decided to go lie in the road with a bottle of JD

Now, I love every single one of the Twilight characters, especially angsty, overprotective Edward, but let's face it - sometimes they can go overboard. This is a parody of the characters' personalities.

The Cullen boys go hunting. Jasper can't stop quoting the Princess Bride, Emmett can't stop quoting Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and Edward, rather put out, responds with Shakespeare. Hilarity ensues! Cowritten with the awesomely funny Roo and the Edward-centric blondie!

Amazingly in canon - believe it or not!