It occured to me about five minutes ago that I have been a member of this site for almost a year now, and I haven't updated my profile since I created my account...I'm. A. Total. Slacker.
And now that I'm typing this, I realize there really isn't much to say. So, in an effort to fill this void, I shall tell the awesome tale of how I became a Twilight Whore...
**Warnings -- My writing tends to read as if I were litreally talking to you. If by some reason you don't understand what I'm saying, know that '...' means I'm thinking or pausing for dramtic effect ... . If a sentence doesn't sound quite right...place emphasis on a word or two. It'll all make sense in the end. :)
It all began back in...sometime last year...around the fall I think...before October, when it all really went down. So, there I was with my roomie walking around the true root of all evil...aka Wal-Mart...and I decided to take a little look at the books and magazines. I walk past the teen books and find this retarded book called Twilight (calm thy self...it doesn't stay retarded for long, though you'll find I continue to make fun of it anyways...) and read the back of it.
I couldn't help the hysteric laugh that escaped my lips. I grabbed my roomie's arm and jerked him up like I had something really really really really important to tell him. I then recite the back of the first book to him as though I were Bella and he needed to know this information to live.
I then laughed in his face and said something along the lines of some dumb woman was marketing books to goth kids like they would take to this trash. I, not truly being a goth kid but always being accused of being one, take up for the goth population because of other people's ignorance to people who are dark and unnatural. We all go a little crazy sometimes, right?
But I digress. It soon became a...ritual of sorts (minus the sacrifical virgins, of course) that everytime we stumbled upon the books that we made fun of them. My roomie soon got to the point where he wouldn't go to that section of the books anymore so I would stop jerking him up like some kind of punk kid.
Then...October rolls around...if you followed along, you'll remember that this is when it all went down... So there we were in the middle of the mall and mosying around Hot Topic (my fav store eva, and if you don't like it, you're a communist. LOL! Not really...but seriously...you are.) I find myself in the middle isle and look up to see a shirt with the Isabella Marie Swan written on it with the back of the Twilight book printed on the side. My jaw drops and I grab my roomie yet again, shoving him in the direction of the shirt.
He. Laughs. At me. I mean...WTF?! He points at the shirt and tells me that a friend of ours and his wife read the book and actually liked it. They then proceeded to read the rest of the books and liked them as well. My jaw drops a little further because said friend and I usually see eye to eye when it comes to our likes and dislikes. The only thing I can think is to try it out.
After leaving the mall, we head next door to my second fav store eva, Books-A-Million...aka...Heaven... I discreetly purchase the book and tell myself that if it sucks, I'm killing my friend. After having some early Halloween fun, we make our way back home where we retire to our own rooms. I change for bed and cuddle up to my new shinny black book.
And that's when it happens...my addiction begins...I read the entire book that night and then buy the second and third book the next day. After getting those two read, I obviously have to buy the final book. In short, I get all four books read in five days. I lose ten pounds in the process...don't judge. I was obsessed. It was my own personal brand...no, I won't go there. Just know that I was hooked after the first chapter...and really? What happened in the first chapter? I can't really remember, my mind is too clouded with fanfiction. I still have trouble remembering when Harry and Draco hooked up in the HP books.
...what? They didn't...really? Hmmm... I couldn't sworn...screw it. Fanfiction is the devil and I'm its dirty little minion.
Again...I digress... So that's my story of becoming a Twilight Whore. I was stoked when the movie came out since it was on my birthday...and I'm excited with New Moon coming out on my b-day as well. Since I started so late in the game, I have the people from the movie as the faces in the book. I like finding out who people wanted to play the characters in the books. However, no matter what anyone says, Robbie P. will always be my Edward Cullen. Even if he was a wizard before hand...which just makes him that much cooler in my book. And lets be honest...my book is all that matters here, don't you think?
Again..with the getting off track...dammit! I don't remember when I started reading the fanfiction, but I remember that Frenemies and Midnight Desire were some of the first stories I got attached too. If you look at my favorites now, you'll find that I'm hooked or have been hooked to about 75 or so...and that's not including the ones I want to read or the one shots I've read. Dude...I read a lot. I bought a BlackBerry just for that purpose...reading on the go.
You must know that I'm Team Edward all the way. There's no if, ands, or buts about it. Though I do own a shirt that says, "And then Buffy staked Edward...THE END." I still love him to pieces. Jacob needs to be beat about the neck and shoulders. I was happy he was there for Ms. B when Edward got stupid and left. I needed the comforting as much as she did because I think I cried just as hard as if he would've left me. I felt like he left me...*cries violently*...*sniffles*...okay, I'm better now. But, he didn't have to go all almost-rapist on us when he manipulated Bella into kissing him. I have never been so angry with a fiction character. In. My. Life. I had to set the book down for a second...no lie.
One question I always had though...which bothers me and I never found the answer too...what happens if Alice never saw Bella jump and Jacob and Bella hooked up and got married and junk, and then had babies...would he imprint on his own daughter? How does that work...?
Other than being a Twilight Whore, I am a proud owner of a kick ass dog named Violet. She is indeed my child. She's a mix breed of Pitt Bull and some type of Curr. She's an emo, which is cute at times, but most of the time she worries me with her intelligence. I sometimes wonder if she plots against me in her spare time but is too depressed to actually carry out her plans. She loves me...I think...most of the time. I think she just likes my bed.
My roomie is my brother. Adopted brother. He's my best friend that I deem a brother because apparently people can't comprehend a guy and girl living together without something happening or have happened behind closed doors. So its easier to introduce him as my brother than to beat down the round of questions of why we haven't done the hanky panky or skeptical looks trying to see if we're lying about it. LOL! Small minded people make me giggle sometimes...
Lets see, other than that, I work for a factory a few towns over and I'm going to be starting college in the spring. I'm going for a computer major and an english minor. Where that will put me when I'm done is more than likely just further in debt and my name on a pretty sheet of paper. LOL!
You'll find that I like to make fun of the books regardless of my addiction to them. I always make fun of my friends who trip by calling them Bella or if they're acting all emo-ish by calling them Edward. I love the characters to death and will make fun of them until I'm blue in the face, but I will cut a bitch that puts them down out of malice. So be warned...I have crazy knife skills from my time in 'Nam...
I also make fun of those Robbie P. fangirls. I actually find that I'm not alone in this, which is fun. My roomie tells me I'm the one fangirl choosen, kind of like Buffy, only instead of sexing up the vampires, I'm actually just saving a dude that plays a vampire from the horde of fangirls that are out for his blood...or penis. I'm not sure which they want more. He tells me that its kind of like Highlander, in which I have to cut off their heads to gain their powers...he's a little strange too...we work well together. :)
We have this on going joke about this crazed fangirl who tries to be a goth chick and kidnap our fav Brit under the misguided thinking of her actually kidnapping our fav vamp. We use the weird chick from the Ghostrider movie, the one that gets interviewed and talks about his flaming head. hehe...I said head... *clears throat* Sorry...um, but yeah. She like paints his face up and junk and tries to make him drink animal blood. She hits him with things when he talks in his British accent and stuff. LMAO! We nearly died laughing as we came up with the scenario. I think it started when Robbie P. went missing for that month. I told my roomie that he'd been kindnapped and it escalted from there. *sighs* Good times...good times...
Anywhozzle-wozzle, that's a little about lil ole me. If you want to say 'hi' or 'what's up?' or tell me how imprinting on your own daughter would really work...then by all means drop me a line or whatever you kids call it these days. I'm always open to talking to people about Twilight and junk.
btw...I'm also known as Kriskahn over at fanfiction.net. :D
I can't believe I did this...but...I made a Twitter. So you guys can follow me on there. I'll try and keep you all up to date as to what is going on with the story and the outtakes and stuff dealing with the story. Feel free to leave comments and junk. I love hearing from you guys! Here's the link...
I made a Formspring... and so did Edward and Bella. :D You can go ask us anything you want to know. Have fun! :)
Here's mine: http://www.formspring.me/Jocaskahn
And here's their's: http://www.formspring.me/EandBCullen
To everyone that wants the outtake with Edward and his breakdown/drunken days/alcohol abuse/really bad time in his life... this is for you.
I've got two reasons for you as to WHY I'm NOT doing it.
One: The emotional turmoil that our dear sweet Edward went through isn't something I could write. What he experienced at the end of The Virgin Swan... would be amplified by like... a million and mixed with alcohol. That wouldn't be pretty. He would be mean and hateful and then try and make it up to her with sex and that's just something I don't think I could write very well. You might ask youself why I don't give it a chance and let you be the judge of my writing skill...
That brings us to reason number two.
Two: I honestly just don't want to go there with them. The story was meant to focus on the love and happiness between Bella and Edward. Not the bad times. I think there was enough drama in the first one and will be enough drama in the second one to really wet your appetites. I find that there are plenty of stories out there that are chock full of drama and angst. You can either chose to read them instead of my story or you can read them along side it. I'll leave that up to you, the magnificent reader.
I apologize for disappointing you and you can send me some nasty emails, but I promise you'll get some nasty responses back. I hope this answers all your questions. :)
The Writer's Coffee Shop: It's a place for all fandoms to come together. They set up a library where you can read stories like "The Perfect Wife" and "The Training School Saga"
For the main site: http://thewriterscoffeeshop.com/news.php
For the library: http://twcslibrary.com/
For the Twitter: @Jocaskahn