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Penname: saritat [ Contact]
Real name: Sari
Status: Member
Member Since: January 11, 2009
Website:
Beta-reader:
Im 30-years old and have written a bit in the Harry Potter fandom before Twilight. I have three WIP AU-human stories for Twilight going on, "Dating Lessons", "La Femme Bella" and "The Dom next door".
In case anyone is interested in any of my writing in the Harry Potter universe (and couple of short original stories), there's some stuff at my insane journal, http://saritat.insanejournal.com/
Other than that I am boring. I have no life, but maybe I prefer it.
[ Report This]
Summary: And you thought libraries were just for studying...Bella, resident cool girl librarian, meets a dazzling law student, Edward while working at the university library. Will she help him find what he needs, what he wants?
Categories: AU-Human Characters: None
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 18 Completed: No
Word count: 75947
[Report This] Published: September 08, 2008 Updated: October 06, 2008
Reviewer: saritat Signed
Date: January 15, 2009
Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 2
Oh, that Edward! The Secretary is an awesome movie but first date material it is not... I think I would die in such a situation!
I'm liking your story so far, and will keep on reading :))
Summary: Edward is a lonely homesteading cowboy in northern Nevada, Bella is a mail order bride full of secrets. What happens when Edward discovers her lies? Can he forgive her? Can she measure up?
Categories: AU-Human Characters: Alice, Angela, Bella, Ben, Carlisle, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jacob, Jasper, Jessica, Lauren, Mike, Tanya, Tyler
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 27 Completed: Yes
Word count: 85364
[Report This] Published: November 01, 2008 Updated: December 09, 2008
Reviewer: saritat Signed
Date: January 29, 2009
Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
You just about killed me with your "good bull named Emmett, excellent stud material". I'm very intrigued by the idea of the story and can't wait to see where it's heading to next :)) Author's Response: Glad you like the start of it. The animals were fun to write! Thanks for the review!
Summary: Bella leaves her home in Arizona to attend Northwestern University in IL, far from anything she is used to. What happens when her extremely attractive TA seems to despise her for no reason? Will sparks or fists fly?
Categories: AU-Human Characters: Bella, Edward
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 11 Completed: No
Word count: 52520
[Report This] Published: November 03, 2008 Updated: April 27, 2009
Reviewer: saritat Signed
Date: January 12, 2009
Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Hmmm..what indeed is going on? Something Alice knows? You have me curious :))
Summary: Alice brings Bella home for Thanksgiving break to forget about her ex. After some drunken clubbing with the fam, Edward and Bella have a one night stand. Hilarity and drama ensue. AU, AH. Rated NC-17 for language and sexual themes.
Categories: AU-Human Characters: Angela, Bella, Ben, Carlisle, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jacob, Jasper, Mike, Other Character, Rosalie, Tanya
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 16 Completed: No
Word count: 47715
[Report This] Published: November 04, 2008 Updated: July 17, 2009
Reviewer: saritat Signed  
Date: January 11, 2009
Title: Chapter 3: Confrontations
Love this story so far, loved the line “He all but pissed on you when we were walking out of the apartment", it's very...descriptive of the situation. And I love all the glares and jealous rages.
Good job!
Reviewer: saritat Signed
Date: January 14, 2009
Title: Chapter 10: Where Have You Been, Luv? (S)
This is my favourite story in this fandom so far - it has just the qualities I most like in my fanfic (even though I like different kinds of stories), mainly a male character who is not only jealous but keeps acting like an arrogant and perhaps mean ass for the longest time until he (hopefully) sees the light. And I also love stories that begin with UST, or from a situation where one has been pining for the other one and gone unnoticed. I'm a hopeless romantic, yea.
I'm eager to see what's going to happen next!! Author's Response: Thank you so much! I love mean, arrogant guys (maybe that's why I'm so unlucky in my own relationships!). I'm a hopeless romantic, as well. Thank you very much!!!!!!!!!!! You've made my day.
Summary: 
2009 Nominee, Best AU AH, Most Romantic Moment, Indie TwiFic Awards
2009 Nominee, Character You Wish Was Real (Jasper), The Faithful Shipper Awards
A small-town music store... Several music-obsessed slackers with a penchant for sexual misadventures, disastrous love lives and a little too much alcohol... Customers with horrible taste in CDs... Thousands in missing cash deposits... and Carlisle's not even supposed to be here today!
Disc Jockeys is the story of Velvet Records, one of the few remaining independent music stores in Washington State. From shoplifters to has-been singers, from franchise threats to the complicated love lives of the inhabitants within, the employees of Velvet handle it all, under the watchful gaze of Carlisle, their long-suffering manager.
This AU, AH is a spoof of Empire Records blended with healthy cynicism of the Clerks vein. If you haven't seen Empire Records, have no fear; this fic assumes you haven't the faintest idea what "Damn The Man - Save The Empire!" means (but SEE IT because it's an awesome flick).
This fic is rated NC-17 for underage drinking, drug use, sexy naughty times, dark issues including sexual assault and abuse and language. Slightly OOC for some players, canon pairings apply (eventually).
SPIN THE VELVET RECORD STORE PLAYLIST HERE
Categories: AU-Human Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jacob, James, Jasper, Rosalie
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 27 Completed: Yes
Word count: 117000
[Report This] Published: November 10, 2008 Updated: June 05, 2009
Reviewer: saritat Signed
Date: January 17, 2009
Title: Chapter 1: The Time To Hesitate Is Through
As cheesy and cliche as it is, I love The Empire Records and I've seen it a dozen times (or more). It will be interesting to see where you're going to take this :)) Author's Response: Welcome aboard! Hopefully you enjoy my fun little exercise in crack-spoof madness!
Summary: Bella Swan is just living her life-- at home with her brother Jacob, and her parents Charlie and Renee, at school with her friends Mike and Jessica, in her bedroom with...well. She doesn't like to talk about that.
But Dr. Carlisle Cullen knows-- even if he can't explain why--he knows nothing is the way it should be.
Categories: AU Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Charlie, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jacob, James, Jasper, Jessica, Mike, Renee, Rosalie, Victoria
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 10 Completed: No
Word count: 29809
[Report This] Published: December 27, 2008 Updated: April 16, 2009
Reviewer: saritat Signed
Date: January 18, 2009
Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2
Very interesting story so far! Kilstead makes me see red, and so does James. I can't wait to read what happens next.
Summary: 
Four weeks before her wedding to Edward, Bella is frustrated. She knows there's little-to-no chance of getting him to bend his rules and boundaries now, but there's no harm in fantasizing about what could happen later. So she begins compiling a list of things that she and Edward can do together once they're happily married. She's surprised to find she might be able to cross some things off earlier than she thought...
Story contains mature themes and is not intended for younger readers.
Thanks to Mandi, aka m81170, for the great banner!
Categories: Post-Eclipse Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Charlie, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jasper, Rosalie
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 28 Completed: Yes
Word count: 187877
[Report This] Published: December 28, 2008 Updated: March 18, 2010
Reviewer: saritat Signed
Date: February 04, 2009
Title: Chapter 10: Chapter 10: Control
Now that was just bleeding hot!! Sorry for such a boring and simple review but it really was. Made me want to jump someone's bones :D Author's Response: Ooh, "bleeding hot" is quite a visual. I like it!
Summary: Bella Swan moves cross country to take a teaching job, trying to escape the man who broke her heart. Edward Cullen is the school's music teacher with secrets of his own. Bella and Edward find themselves thrown together trying to work through their issues and unexpected feelings for each other.
Categories: AU-Human Characters: None
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 40 Completed: Yes
Word count: 272412
[Report This] Published: January 01, 2009 Updated: June 26, 2009
Reviewer: saritat Signed
Date: February 18, 2009
Title: Chapter 17: Chapter 16
Seems like Jacob’s in a bit of a denial (maybe Isabella is too good for Forks and ending up pregnant accidentally but really…is that the reason to sabotage her lovelife Before she even has one? HAH!) At least we finally heard some of his side – I certainly have been interested of his POV all along! An enthusiastic yay at that! Also interesting to find out the story behind Tanya. I very much hope Jacob would follow Bella to her new hometown for a visit but seems like he won’t, at least if she doesn’t make an appearance at Christmas.
Reviewer: saritat Signed
Date: March 20, 2009
Title: Chapter 24: Chapter 23
I KNEW it would Jacob. although I suppose that's what supposed to happen at this point of the story :)) Edward has been acting like such a jerk (and stupid!) that he/us the readers and Bella deserve some Jacob- involved semi-action/friction for it!Jacob better be seeing her clearly now!! And Finland, that's where the tours gonna start? :D Of all the random places... Good job! Author's Response: I know my stuff: I picked countries that actually have jazz festivals in February. Finland is one of them. :)
Reviewer: saritat Signed
Date: March 27, 2009
Title: Chapter 25: Chapter 24
This is my two cents, but you really (shouldn't/) don't need such a huge disclaimer for writing a Jacob Black chapter. He is integral to the story (in my perception) and has been from the start. It would be a bit disturbing if the fans of Bella/Edward would be so into them as a couple that we would start a witch hunt just from the stumbling blocks on their way in your very fine story. Without friction, misunderstandings, jealousy and/or troubles there wouldn't be much to write or read about. Besides, I like Jacob's appearance, it indeed gives the story structure and friction that I already mentioned. Good job! Now that I got all that off my chest, the reason I noted the Finland bit in the last chapter was because that's where I'm from and where I live. There's an annual Big Band Festival in Finland too, but that's in July :))
Summary:  
Bella begins working for the elusive and distant Edward Cullen who she discovers is hiding behind an elaborate charade to maintain his secret lifestyle. Bella is determined to find out the mysteries of Edward Cullen but with what results? AU. Mystery/Humor/Angst
Categories: AU Characters: Bella, Edward
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 31 Completed: No
Word count: 173201
[Report This] Published: February 22, 2009 Updated: December 27, 2009
Reviewer: saritat Signed
Date: June 04, 2009
Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
This sounds very promising! :) I loved the line "I liked it but, well, it made me kind of hungry." Kind of hungry, huh?
Reviewer: saritat Signed
Date: June 04, 2009
Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4
Just lovely posessive/jealous Edward, even though he thought of a dog and his dinner...posessive/jealous Edward makes my knees weak..and other stuff.
Reviewer: saritat Signed
Date: June 04, 2009
Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 8
The Stalker Edward makes an appearance! Delicious :D
Reviewer: saritat Signed
Date: June 06, 2009
Title: Chapter 10: Chapter 10
Haha! I loved Edward demanding Bella to say he is gay, "out loud". "Totally gay." I guess this will make things easier for awhile...until it will make them even harder.
Summary: 
A Final Nominee @ 
Edward Masen was changed in the early nineteenth century (1817) by Carlisle Cullen in England. Later on, he separated himself from the Cullens and moved to Washington, USA.
Bella Swan’s parents die in an accident, and she has to move to the small, village-like homestead township of Forks Prairie with her uncle, Charles Swan. Fate brings her to Edward’s doorstep, and the dreaded monster rears its ugly head. Will she survive the monster?
THIS STORY IS ON A HIATUS TILL JULY 2010.
NOTE- This story is getting updated over at FF.net as well. You can visit there if want to - http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4900151/1/
Categories: AU Characters: Bella, Edward
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 21 Completed: No
Word count: 119711
[Report This] Published: March 06, 2009 Updated: March 28, 2010
Reviewer: saritat Signed
Date: December 06, 2009
Title: Chapter 17: Chapter 17
I loved how you worked the feathers in. I just loved that part in Breaking Dawn, where everything had to be so understated and..."clean". Good work :)
Summary:
Playboy Edward Cullen owns the most notorious and prestigious strip joint in the whole of New York: Violet. When Edward's left one girl short, he begins his search for the next dancer. Who he meets on his search is not only the best dancer he has ever come across, but also a contender for his heart. Can someone finally tame this bad boy?
ExB Rated for drugs, language and sex from the very start.
Categories: AU-Human Characters: Alice, Angela, Bella, Carlisle, Edward, Emmett, Jacob, James, Jasper, Jessica, Leah, Rosalie, Victoria
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 19 Completed: No
Word count: 69545
[Report This] Published: July 06, 2009 Updated: May 03, 2010
Reviewer: saritat Signed
Date: July 19, 2009
Title: Chapter 1: Assward
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A very interesting start. I’m sure I’m not the only one here who has always been a bit curious about the real male point of view and felt sorry that 99,5% of fanficcers are female. I personally try to think of people as people before their gender, but it is always a (rare) pleasure to read something from a male point of view that was actually written by a man.
Author's Response: Thank you. I hope you like it as it is written from a male's POV, I hope it gives you a better insight of how males think and behave! Hope you carry on with the fic.
Summary: 
Bella is a plus-sized woman who loves her life. When she meets a man who has never been with a big girl before, she is reminded of the difficulties of a past relationship that left her broken. Can she overcome her insecurities and make him fall in love?
Categories: AU-Human Characters: Bella, Edward
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 13 Completed: No
Word count: 34941
[Report This] Published: July 13, 2009 Updated: August 18, 2010
Reviewer: saritat Signed
Date: September 04, 2009
Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 3 - Beneath the surface
I really like your story so far! I also think it's the first (and sadly, only) one I've read where Isabella is plus sized (or even close to it). That should be written more often. I'm eagerly waiting for the next chapter :) Author's Response: Thank you very much. I felt like I had to represent myself and every other plus-size person who deserves to be loved no matter what their size. :o)
Summary: What's real and what's fiction?
Bella wants a kid with her boss, feels her biological clock ticking and would have jumped him by now if it wasn't for the fact he's a major playboy. Her boss, Edward, secretly desires Bella and, to look cooler, he pretends to be a playboy by fakin' relationships with a harem of eight women.
Where are the lies and the truth?
Alice is very one-man oriented; she has eyes only for Jasper. But Jasper is in a commited gay relationship with Emmett and has repeatedly told her that he sees her as the little sister. Ruthless shark of the business world but dork in real life, Alice has given up. Running into Rosalie and Bella, she develops cofidence and gets a sexy makeover. Watch out world!
What is make-believe and what is reality?
Jasper is a womanizer who only agreed to pretend to be Emmett's boyfriend to get stalker Alice off his back. That of course, is true, until he sees Alice bend over in those tight little pants...
Telling a lie only makes the truth even harder to discern...
Emmett wants Rosalie. Nice and simple. But she isn't a one-man-kind-of-girl. So to get close to her, he pretends to be gay. But the thing is, he pretends too well. For a year and a half, he and Rosalie have gotten closer, but now Emmett and Jasper's parents think they are almost on their way to having a commitment ceremony.
What the hell is up with the screwy here?
Finally, the guys all think that Bella and Alice are lesbian lovers. Don't ask.
If you want a world of f***ing hilarious mind games, come right in and read ahead. But seriously, beware of the laugh-out-loud mind f***ery.
Summary written by the fab tellytubby101
Thank you to RoseArcadia for the fab banner!
Categories: AU, AU-Human Characters: Alice, Bella, Edward, Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 14 Completed: No
Word count: 43844
[Report This] Published: July 16, 2009 Updated: March 25, 2010
Reviewer: saritat Signed
Date: October 26, 2009
Title: Chapter 10: Chapter 10: Femmett
I like this story, and to my somewhat surprise the besy part in it for me is definetely the slooooooow romance between Alice and Jasper. Never big on reading any fics with them as the main pair, I really liked the premise there.
Summary: Edward Cullen is a corporate tycoon, in charge of all aspects of his life. Unfortunately, the one obstacle to his latest project doesn't know that yet...but she'll learn it soon enough. AU and OOC.
Categories: AU-Human Characters: Bella, Edward
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 6 Completed: No
Word count: 18965
[Report This] Published: October 31, 2009 Updated: January 02, 2010
Reviewer: saritat Signed
Date: November 06, 2009
Title: Chapter 1: The Meeting
What a perfectly lovely and delicious plot. I liked the first chapter so much that I stalked the story into FFnet where there are a couple of more chapters. Keep up the good work!!
Reviewer: saritat Signed
Date: November 06, 2009
Title: Chapter 2: The Lie
Ahh, as much as I appreciate male dominance (when consensual) and even arrogance to an extent, I just want to club him over the head right now...but very good work!! :)
Summary: Now Complete!
Bella’s blood was just too tempting to be ignored. In this version of Twilight, Edward takes Bella on a sadistic journey with his monstrous side. While Edward drags her around the world, barely keeping a step ahead of his frantic family, Bella battles the monster for possession of the gentler vampire inside her captor. EPOV.
Winner of the Faithful Shipper Awards for best Alternate Universe.
Winner of The Vampies, Twilight Vampfic Awards for Best Dark Vamp.
Winner of the Immortal Sin Awards for Best Darkward and Hottest Dark Vamp Fic!
Thank you Lace for the Banner!
“There was no other blood like this. Once she was gone, it would no longer be within my grasp. But if I stopped now, she would heal. Her body would make more. The blood would replenish. I could drink again. The promise of more – it was the only incentive that could have caused me to stop.”
Categories: Twilight, AU Characters: Bella, Edward
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 35 Completed: Yes
Word count: 249263
[Report This] Published: December 21, 2009 Updated: August 28, 2010
Reviewer: saritat Signed
Date: December 30, 2009
Title: Chapter 1: Bite and Run
An excellent idea and a very good start at it! I'm awfully sorry for Charlie, although I guess he plays little to no role in the story to be.
Summary: Bella Swan was always awkward and never quite knew where she fit in, but she always had a best friend in Alice Brandon. Edward Cullen was hopeless since the first grade, branded a geek and bullied every day of his life. It's years later and Bella has just returned to Forks after graduating college. She's desperate for a job and grabs the first thing she can find working at Forks Pharmacy with none other than Edward Cullen. Follow their budding friendship as it evolves into something more, where Edward and Bella discover a little something about themselves as well as each other. In the end, can Bella find where she belongs, and can Edward find someone who accepts him for who he really is?
Thanks to monamour for the banner!
Categories: AU-Human Characters: Bella, Edward
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 18 Completed: No
Word count: 126299
[Report This] Published: January 30, 2010 Updated: August 26, 2011
Reviewer: saritat Signed
Date: May 31, 2010
Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3
Geeky pharmacist Edward is delightful and delicious. I can just see that adam's apple bobbing and all...I hope you (or fashion fascist Alice) wont change his looks too much though... Anyway, a very good job so far :)
Summary: Long time platonic friends Edward and Bella look to solve their cash-flow problems by making an adult movie together. They have always been comfortable with each other, but will they be able to keep it friendly when the cameras roll?
Sometimes love sneaks up and gangbangs you from behind.
Zack and Miri Crossover. Expect crude language, crass behavior, crack-ish humor, and smut. If that's not your thing, f*** off and go read some angsty s***.
Thanks to ms_ambrosia for the wonderful banner!
Categories: AU-Human, Crossover, Crackfic Characters: Bella, Edward
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 16 Completed: Yes
Word count: 68541
[Report This] Published: March 13, 2010 Updated: July 06, 2011
Reviewer: saritat Signed
Date: May 24, 2010
Title: Chapter 1: Booty & The Beast
I just love Zack and Miri and I'm excited about this fic. It's just like something I might combine, if I didn't have enough plot bunnies and cross overs to make do with. I will definitely keep reading and reviewing.
Summary: Bella's back hurts, can her new roommate Edward, the chiropractor help her? Will they behave?
Or are they naughty to the bone?
Categories: AU-Human Characters: Bella, Edward
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 13 Completed: Yes
Word count: 37531
[Report This] Published: March 30, 2010 Updated: September 02, 2011
Reviewer: saritat Signed
Date: May 02, 2010
Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4
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