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Penname: Jane Audrino [Contact]
Real name: Jane
Status: Member
Member Since: January 07, 2009
Website:
Beta-reader: No

I'm a transplanted new yorker.  I've lived in the sunshine state for many years.  I've built a life here and no matter how much I miss jones beach, the robert moses causeway and the LIE, I'll never move back.


I'm an avid scrapbooker. I love to read, but due to responsibilities, I go through phases.  I'll read 10 books back to back over a short time period, then nothing for a few weeks. Some of my favorite authors are Elizabeth George, Nevada Barr, Sue Grafton, Patricia Cornwell, David Balducci, Anne Rice, Nora Roberts, and Janet Chapman.  My all time favorite book is The Power of One by Bryce Courtenay.  I reread it at least once a year.  I also dig the Alex Cross mystery/thrillers.


[Report This]
 
 
Reviews by Jane Audrino
 
Sunrise by mauvedreams Rated: PG-13 starstarstarstarhalf-star [Reviews - 49]
Summary:

Amelia has always lived her life alone. Her family is dysfunctional and her friends are avoiding her. It's hardly a life at all. So when a mysterious shadow is cast over her skylight one night, she decides to investigate to see if it could possibly lead her to a new direction. She never could have imagined what came next...

A mysterious family who she suspects to be killers enter her world and soon her entire existance is turned upside down. Who are the Cullens and what are they hiding? And why can Edward see right through her?

An AU story exploring what could have happened if Bella chose Jacob...

don't ask


Categories: Post-Eclipse, AU Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jacob, Jasper, Other Character, Rosalie
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 9 Completed: Yes Word count: 20176
[Report This] Published: October 08, 2008 Updated: March 13, 2009


Reviewer: Jane Audrino Signed
Date: February 08, 2009 Title: Chapter 1: Nightmare

Hi!  I'm enjoying this story.  I am not a Bella/Jacob fan, but I'm an Edward fan, so I like the premise of a story about Edward.  I'm also a big fan of the underdog, and I like the idea of a new character paired with Edward.  It's refreshing.  Especially a character that is a bit of a loner and outcast.  Edward is so different, I can see him falling for someone that is also different from every other teenage girl out there. 

I also like how you had Edward leave her the note.  I've been reading so much AH fanfiction, that I forgot that Vampire Edward can read minds.  I like that he was sensitive enough to do that for Amelia. 

Thanks for sharing your talent with us, I'm looking forward to the next chapter!

Jane 

 
Reviewer: Jane Audrino Signed
Date: February 08, 2009 Title: Chapter 2: Library

Hi again!  I'm really enjoying the heroine's conversations with Edward.  It's funny how he is responding to her thoughts, and she doesn't realize it yet.  She's spunky!  I can see her paired with Edward. 

I'm hoping for some deeper elaboration into why Amelia is so hardened, maybe a little backstory about why she's in London, and why she is so withdrawn from the group she was previously friends with.  This might deepen the reader's connection to her. 

Thanks again for sharing your writing talent with us.  I'm enjoying your fun and different take on our favorite vampires!

Jane 

 
Reviewer: Jane Audrino Signed
Date: February 08, 2009 Title: Chapter 3: New

Love it!!  You made Edward and Bella's breakup very believable.  I like how they went halfway around the world to start a new life.  Alice's dreams are great forshadowing. I'm excited to see how you develop the relationship.

Thanks for sharing your talent with us!

Jane 

 
Reviewer: Jane Audrino Signed
Date: February 08, 2009 Title: Chapter 8: Announcement

Well, that certainly took an unexpected turn from the last time I reviewed!  Your writing is very creative and original!   I can see you worked really hard to add in more descriptive, figurative language in the last few chapters.  You have some similies and metaphors that are beautiful.  Like this one:

"It was a bright, sweet scent. It smelled like sunshine on leaves and a child’s innocence. But there was an edge I detected. An almost too sweet edge, an edge of danger and warning."

I've read the reviews, and I see how old you are.  I'm really impressed.  I'm amazed at the quality and maturity of your writing.  I've taught writing  to adults who don't even have a fraction of your ability. 

I'm going to keep an eye out for you, I bet you develop into a magnificent author. 

  



Author's Response:

Why thank you!! That's definitely one of my main goals in life; to become an author. I'm glad you noticed the use of more descriptions!! As you said, I tried REALLY hard for that. I also tried really hard to slow down the pace so I hope that was better :)

Thank you so much for your comments and compliments, they are MUCH appreciated. I'm currently writing the epilogue and after that I already have an idea for my next fanfic, given this one was SO much fun.

So read the epilogue when it's up and hopefully my next venture into fanfiction after this, please :P

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

Love mauvedreams xx

 
Visitation by radiofreeamy Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 552]
Summary:

AU/Human-  What if Edward reacted violently while saving Bella that night in Port Angeles?  Can Bella and Edward still find love while Edward is incarcerated?

 

Rated NC-17 for violence and eventual lemony goodness.


Categories: AU-Human Characters: Bella, Edward
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 16 Completed: No Word count: 57400
[Report This] Published: January 20, 2009 Updated: February 05, 2010


Reviewer: Jane Audrino Signed
Date: June 11, 2009 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue

Oh, boy, love it! Love it!!!  I love how you made such a vivid pic of them in the courtroom.  Edwards finely combed hair, ending up a birds nest by his mannerisms. 

Great how you call it the Meyer Juvie... 

Thanks for sharing your writing!

Moving on to chap 2...

Jane....I'm actually kay18jay on LJ... we 'chatted' in the gazebo a bit today.  Thanks for the link!



Author's Response:

Thank you!  I'm so glad to have a new reader.  LOL at Edward's hair.  It has a mind of its own.  I try not to pimp my own fic out on the net, but I'm glad I did, cause it brought you here!  Thanks so much for reading and for reviewing and I hope you continue to enjoy the story.  :)

 
Reviewer: Jane Audrino Signed
Date: June 11, 2009 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 1 - Orientation (V)

I love how you are developing your Edward.  I hate it when authors give it all away up front.  you are giving it to us bit by bit!  Like unpeeling an onion! 

The little glimpses of Edward, like how enraged he got at the thought of thinking about his father, I can see that he'd be capable of murdering those men. 

I'm glad that Officer Cullen is turning out to be a decent fellow.  One of the things I love the most about fanfiction is the endless manifestations of the characters. 

and ooo, the thought of Bella visiting...little does he know!

Thanks so much for writing, and sharing!  I'm enjoying this!

Jane,

aka, kay18jay



Author's Response:

Thanks for the review!  I wanted to develop Edward slowly.  He has a very dark past, and I want to bring it up bit by bit.  We will eventually learn all about Edward's father, but not for several more chapters.  He was bad news, for sure.  Officer Cullen rocks!!!  He's a super nice guy and you will also learn more about him in the future. 

Bella is gonna visit Edward regardless of how difficult that may be!  And he will be majorly surprised!

 

Thanks for reading and reviewing!  :)

 
Reviewer: Jane Audrino Signed
Date: July 03, 2009 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 8 - Get a Room

oh, how I love fluff!!!  This was perfect fluff!  Their first kiss was so sweet, yet hot too! 

If I didn't already know it, Bella's inspection of Edward would have told me you were a mother.  That is just the kind of thing a mom does when her boy tells her he was in a fight.  But of course, Bella's inspection was much sexier than any mom's would be!  After a few months of prison food, and workouts with makeshift weights, Edward's abs probably looked really hot. 

I love how Bella told him she loved him.  just say it !!! you go girl! 

Thanks for writing!

Jane/kay18jay



Author's Response:

I'm glad you liked the fluff.  We were in serious need of some happy times after the last chapter.  I was starting to get a little depressed over poor Edward's existance.

I am a mom, and Bella certainly channeled a mama moment as she inspected his body for injuries.  But she was enjoying the feel of his skin much more than a mother would. lol.

You are the bomb for always reviewing.  You always manage to put a smile on my face.  Thanks!

Amy

 
Reviewer: Jane Audrino Signed
Date: June 15, 2009 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 2: Setbacks (v)

Poor Bella,

It's sort of a cockblock, isn't it?  Cockblocked by the DOC.  How appropriate, LOL!  I like Bella's view, the take on their relationship in bio.  It's too bad she wasn't ready to reveal her crush to him.  and I like how your story parallels what actually happens in Twilight before Port Angeles. 

Classic teenage girl behavior, convincing them to take Charlie out, I love it!  I love how she calls them suckers!  She's going to be relying on them fishing a lot!

Thanks for writing, and sharing your writing!

Jane, aka, kay18jay!



Author's Response:

LMAO at cockblocking by the DOC.  Damn prison officials!  Bella's a little more ballsy in this fic than in canon.  She wants Edward and she will do whatever it takes to get him.  I would too, if I were her. lol.

Thanks for reading, hon.  Your reviews put a smile on my face!

 
Reviewer: Jane Audrino Signed
Date: June 15, 2009 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 3 - Friends

Oh, great stuff, great stuff!!  I knew you were a wide awake fan!!  My husband thinks I'm nuts anyway, so he was not surprised when I started talking to the computer at the unicorn sticker. 

Speaking of my hubby, he watches a lot of the Nat Geo show Lock up, and so far, your fic is parallelling what i see happening to new inmates just about anywhere. 

I love Jasper, he's my second favorite.  I think he is often written the best in fics because we have so little to go on in canon, that he is the closest to an original character.  and deep southern accents are so sexy!

The letter was so sweet.  I can totally picture Edward clutching it to his chest while he sleeps!

Thanks for writing, and sharing!

Kay/Jane



Author's Response:

Hey!  I'm glad you liked the Wide Awake reference.  That fic is amazing and I'm dying for her to finish it.  Edward could give me a unicorn anytime!  In fact, he will be hand delivering unicorns to Bella eventually in this fic!

Jasper rocks.  He's my comic relief in this fic.  He will be an important character throughout.  I love deep southern accents.  I married me a cute country boy who called me "his gal" when we were dating.  *swoons*

Glad you are still reading and I'm loving your reviews!  See ya on the gazebo.

xoxo,

amy

 

 
Reviewer: Jane Audrino Signed
Date: June 15, 2009 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 5: Love at First Touch

oh, I love lOve LOVE Fluff!  so I think I'm stopping here for tonight!

This was soo sweet.  I love shy juvieward!  I love how unsure and tentative about Bella he is. Actually they both are!  For such a different premise, you are doing an awesome job with the realism, but still incorporating all the crucial, canon elements. 

Great writing! Thanks for sharing!

Jane/kay18jay



Author's Response:

I am a sucker for the fluff.  There will be more of that as the fic goes on.  I try to keep the angst/fluff level pretty even.  Thank you for your compliments.  I'm glad you think I'm keeping it real.  You are so sweet.

 
Reviewer: Jane Audrino Signed
Date: July 03, 2009 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 6: Girl Talk

Hey!  Great chapter!  I love how Edward wrote the notes for Bella.  and I'm amazed at her self control!  I would have opened them all up as soon as I got them. 

I think my favorite line of this chapter is "...a girl will take what she can get when her man is in prison."  I love how he grabbed her hand and sprinkled it with kisses. his mouth lingering... Did she look in his eyes, and see the desire? I'm getting goosebumps for the third time reading that part.

I'm not even going to say anything about the cliffy- I'd be mad as hell if I didn't have the next chapter to go to right now! ;P

Thanks for writing!

Jane



Author's Response:

Jane,

Honey, you are so good for my ego.  I would have opened all those letters too!  I'm an instant gratification kind of girl!  Bella will take whatever she can get.  But I imagine she's gonna try to push the limits eventually.  Wouldn't you?  She didn't see the desire yet.  But she will....  Flattered that you had goosebumps.  YOu are giving me goosebumps with your rocking reviews!

 

xoxo,

amy

 

 
Reviewer: Jane Audrino Signed
Date: July 03, 2009 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 7: Violation

Oh, wow!  this is a heavy chapter.  thanks for the kleenex warning.  I got mine ready.  it was a good thing I did.  Edward's protection of Demetri mirrors what he did for Bella.  Luckily he didnt' have to kill James to save him....yet?  I was hoping that your sweet Edward wouldn't have had to endure such atrocities while in the foster system, but it certainly explains why he would be so protective of the younger kids.  I'm with Edward, why are there so many monsters in the world? 

anyway, I could get on my soap box about that for hours... but I want to read more. 

I do love your Emmett.  He's a pretty great guy. and I love that Bella goes there.  She's his lawyer...great cover. 

Thanks for writing!

Jane



Author's Response:

Jane,

Yeah, this was a pretty heavy chapter.  Poor Edward.  I'm glad you had your kleenex ready.  Edward did a much better job controling his rage in this instance.  If he had killed James, he would likely be locked up for much longer, so kudos to him for staying in control.

Emmett is wonderful.  We will learn more about him later.

Thanks for being such a loyal reader and reviewer.  *hugs*

 

Amy

 

 
Reviewer: Jane Audrino Signed
Date: July 03, 2009 Title: Chapter 10: Chapter 9 - Farewells and Complications (vjgm)

Yikes!  I was wondering when and how Charlie was going to find out!  I wonder if Jasper turns out to be the leak? 

I'm glad Edward is getting help!  Prison is probably going to be the best thing that happened to him, besides Bella of course.

Thanks for writing!  Great Chapter!  I need to figure out how to get notifications on this website!

Jane/Kay



Author's Response:

Jane!

Thanks for another review, bb.  We will learn how Charlie finds out in the next chapter.  I can say it wasn't Jasper.  He's on his best behavior in his attempts to get Alice to notice him.

And you are right about this situation turning out to be a good thing for Edward.  He's getting therapy, a free college education.  He can still move beyond this and accomplish his dreams.  You know I want him to be happy. lol.

Next chapter is coming soon!  Thanks for always reviewing!  You put a smile on my face!

:)Amy

 
Reviewer: Jane Audrino Signed
Date: December 28, 2009 Title: Chapter 15: Chapter 14: Home for the Holidays (vjgm)

Hey Amy, this is awesome!  I almost want to kill you for ending it where you did! 

I really enjoy the pace you are taking us at.  Slow and detailed at just the right parts.  I like the little bits of insight into how Bella is dealing with not having what the rest of her peer couples get to enjoy.  I also think it's very well done how you are weaving in all of the key characters, in 'non-traditional roles' , so to speak. 

Loving it!  thanks for writing, and sharing! Hope your holidays are merry!

Jane





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