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Penname: gbasjw [ Contact]
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Member Since: October 26, 2009
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Summary:  Edward Cullen was a loner, an outcast. He clearly hated everybody, including himself. He was not a nice person. So, why was I so drawn to him? And why did I get the crazy feeling he felt the same way?
WARNING: This story will deal with the aftermath of child abuse and rape. If that bothers you too much, I strongly recommend that you don’t read.
Thanks to steffyxxface for the lovely banner!
Categories: AU-Human Characters: Bella, Edward
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 115 Completed: Yes
Word count: 365612
[Report This] Published: November 13, 2009 Updated: July 06, 2011
Reviewer: gbasjw Signed
Date: June 29, 2010
Title: Chapter 50: Chapter 50
I agree - they needed a little break from the trauma & angst. We all know that there's more lurking underneath all of these scenes but these light-hearted moments are needed nonetheless to move this couple forward. These little segments allow them to appreciate the joy & hopefullness that they bring to one another. Thank you for not leaving us with a deliberate cliffie going into the holiday. We all know the sex issue is coming but they need these little moments to build a positive foundation. I believe in these two...
Reviewer: gbasjw Signed
Date: July 11, 2010
Title: Chapter 52: Chapter 52
This was such a huge chapter for Edward. Once again you have handled the subject matter with such grace & dignity. It's really hard to fathom how a person can survive not only the physical damage but the ongoing mental trauma that results from abuse like this. It will be so hard for him to be separated from Bella now when she goes to Phx, knowing that she wanted him to go and that he is mentally unable to handle the travel. I'm not sure Bella is going to be able to help him with this as he will undoubtably feel like a failure - even though that isn't the case at all. Superb writing.
Reviewer: gbasjw Signed
Date: July 16, 2010
Title: Chapter 53: Chapter 53
Such a huge emotionally charged chapter. No need to nervous though. You did a wonderful job. For Edward to allow the discussion at all and then finally admit to Bella as well as himself that he loves her....just wow. So where does our boy go from here? Will he do what Bella suggests and take his life back? I think ultimately his bond with her will drive him to do it. The Phx trip will be hard for both of them but I think it's going drive their relationship forward.
Reviewer: gbasjw Signed
Date: July 22, 2010
Title: Chapter 54: Chapter 54
I really didn't expect this next chapter to be such a positive experience. I thought Edward might retreat after telling Bella that he loves her. But I was wrong :) E still has so far to go but seems more committed to moving towards "normal" than ever before. I know there's still a long road ahead but his sweet, loving soul makes me so hopeful.
Reviewer: gbasjw Signed
Date: July 30, 2010
Title: Chapter 56: Chapter 56
It's ok that there's no Edward this chapter. It honestly seems appropriate. There's a whole lot of growing up going on in this family right now....and it isn't always pretty. I'm loving Emmett a lot. I know he's going to be there for Edward from this point forward. I only hope that Edward will recognize that & let him in. I'm not convinced that it's Edward that's calling Bella right now but...I'd bet a helluva lot of money that she should head to the meadow....like NOW!
Reviewer: gbasjw Signed
Date: August 10, 2010
Title: Chapter 58: Chapter 58
Great chapter and thank you for not going the New Moon route. Love the undercurrent of tension & overwhelming emotion in this update. Edward has made huge steps forward. I do hope that Bella does get therapy for herself. She should not be having anxiety attacts at the mere thought of Edward leaving her. He has enough to deal with already without her scaring the crap out of him as well.
Reviewer: gbasjw Signed
Date: September 05, 2010
Title: Chapter 63: Chapter 63
Edward continues to amaze with his progress although I don't think he realizes just how far he has come in such a short period of time. He's actually able to have conversations with people now. Not that it isn't still a struggle for him but he isn't running away or becoming violent. Huge. To see him actually acting like a brother to Emmett...it's just so uplifting.
Reviewer: gbasjw Signed
Date: January 02, 2011
Title: Chapter 86: Chapter 86
I don't review as often as I should given that I really love this story. I am constantly astounded by your sensitivity & realism in tackling this subject matter. This chapter felt so appropriate for the start of a New Year. A new start for Edward....
Reviewer: gbasjw Signed
Date: January 16, 2011
Title: Chapter 89: Chapter 89
Yes we all knew "it had to happen" but Bella's timing sure is weird. She decides to tell him after spending an afternoon where he actually had the opportunity to take care of her for a change & then she hits him with this? Sorry but I'm scratching my head wondering why now? I get that she needed to tell him. But she couldn't wait & at least tell him when they were closer to a therapy session or during one? The poor guy has just barely gotten over the whole movie experience. I'll chalk it up to her being a 17 yr old kid but honestly it makes zero sense to me.
Reviewer: gbasjw Signed
Date: January 21, 2011
Title: Chapter 90: Chapter 90
Good follow-up chapter to the "Jake" discussion. I'm still not thrilled with Bella's timing but it ended up being OK anyway. Ok - in the sense that Edward did not go over the edge entirely & they were able to have a reasonable conversation afterwards. Bella is right - that was progress. Although, I'm afraid that the lack of sex in their own relationship is only going to put more pressure on Edward. I know Bella doesn't intend that but it's still there nonetheless. Why do I think that Emmett maybe able to help with this similar to how he did with his "dating tips"? Heavier topic to be sure but Emmett seems to have a way with his casual non-threatening approach.
Reviewer: gbasjw Signed
Date: May 09, 2011
Title: Chapter 106: Chapter 106
I am so so sorry to hear about your twins. I had no idea. I glad that writing has helped you. I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through. My condolences to you and your husband.
As for the update, I love it and I really like fierce Emmett. Edward needs to see that others are willing to defend & protect him. Emmett has obviously been very effected by what happened to his brother. I really love how you have developed their relationship. I like Alice too but there is something about two brothers supporting each other that is really powerful. Why do I think Emmett maybe the one to lose control when meeting Elizabeth? Not Edward. Edward almost seems numb to it but perhaps that's a mask that he's put on.
I'm holding my breathe for the ugly meeting. I hope Bella's fears go unrealized.
Take care of yourself.
Summary: Now Complete!
Bella’s blood was just too tempting to be ignored. In this version of Twilight, Edward takes Bella on a sadistic journey with his monstrous side. While Edward drags her around the world, barely keeping a step ahead of his frantic family, Bella battles the monster for possession of the gentler vampire inside her captor. EPOV.
Winner of the Faithful Shipper Awards for best Alternate Universe.
Winner of The Vampies, Twilight Vampfic Awards for Best Dark Vamp.
Winner of the Immortal Sin Awards for Best Darkward and Hottest Dark Vamp Fic!
Thank you Lace for the Banner!
“There was no other blood like this. Once she was gone, it would no longer be within my grasp. But if I stopped now, she would heal. Her body would make more. The blood would replenish. I could drink again. The promise of more – it was the only incentive that could have caused me to stop.”
Categories: Twilight, AU Characters: Bella, Edward
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 35 Completed: Yes
Word count: 249263
[Report This] Published: December 21, 2009 Updated: August 28, 2010
Reviewer: gbasjw Signed
Date: July 13, 2010
Title: Chapter 30: Regain and Resign
You truly are an evil woman. I am so happy about the return of our beloved Boobward but then the cliffie??? Jesus. Alice please save our boy from himself. Please?? Carlisle needs more time to find a cure....
This fic just...it kills me. One of the most original stories out there with the BEST AU Edward...and seriously one of the most fucked up B&E couples. These two just have to end up together in some warped HEA....
Reviewer: gbasjw Signed
Date: March 22, 2010
Title: Chapter 15: Beg and Barter
Holy smokes! You had me on the edge of my seat with this chapter. I thought for sure Bella was going to reject Edward and I couldn't imagine how he would survive it. Does she have real feelings for him afterall? I think so. I don't think she is acting out of fear or obligation anymore.
Author's Response: She's not quite done with him. :) Thanks for reviewing!
Reviewer: gbasjw Signed
Date: April 03, 2010
Title: Chapter 17: Choose and Lose
Wow. I'm not sure even what to say. This chapter just took my breath away. Regardless of how fucked up it is, my heart goes out to Edward. But...I think that Bella will come back to him. If she's honest with herself, I don't think she can go back to "normal" after this and doubt that she really wants to. Your Edward is the most fucked up, needy vamp yet but he is a sweet soul underneath. Bella knows this. She also believes that he loves her. That will make the difference. I hope... Author's Response: Something about fucked up is sweet, isn't it? Or we're all just sick...that could be it, too. Glad you are enjoying it! Thanks for the review!
Reviewer: gbasjw Signed
Date: April 18, 2010
Title: Chapter 19: Allay and Alarm
Edward, Edward, Edward...you're not listening to her.
He's only hearing the worst. Yes - she pities him but she also said that she missed him. She was a wreck too while they were apart. She's been jumping thru hoops trying to get back to him. Doesn't sound to me like she's ready to end this. She seems pretty happy to be back with him. So....is a compromise in the future? Does Edward return to his family in Forks? I have to think so assuming that Carlisle will take him back. I hope so because these two are off the charts crazy & I love it. Can't wait for the next update. Author's Response: He jumps to conclusions just a bit, huh? :) Thanks for the review!
Reviewer: gbasjw Signed
Date: April 26, 2010
Title: Chapter 20: Cope and Hope
This chapter is just to die for. So much fun & angst. Could Edward be anymore needy? And apparently, Bella is 17 going on 40. Her maturity level is so far beyond his, Edward teaching himself about sex thru his memory of clinical studies is hysterical. I know good writing can't be rushed but 2 weeks waiting for the lemons is going to be sheer torture! Hopefully, Edward will be able to use the time to review past coursework...lol Author's Response: If he could be, I think even I would be scared. :) Thanks for reviewing!
Reviewer: gbasjw Signed
Date: June 10, 2010
Title: Chapter 25: Burn and Churn
I love Boobward. Underneath all the vamp crap, he is truly sweet. I don't believe Aro at all. He wants Edward's gift - end of story. That being said, what really is wrong with Edward? Is he returning to human form?
Reviewer: gbasjw Signed
Date: June 12, 2010
Title: Chapter 26: Manipulate and Capitulate
I didn't think their could be a more tortured/angsty couple than canon E&B but these two...wow! What a crappy situation. Hopefully, Bella can convince him to drink some of her blood simply to get him to a state where is lucid and can make somewhat logical decisions. He's just a wreck right now and pretty much useless to himself as well as everyone else. I still think there is another option for a cure & Aro is hiding it. How evil was it that Aro tried to manipulate Edward's emotions the minute Carlisle is out of the room? The dude is just bad news.
Keeping my fingers crossed that Bella can talk Edward down off the ledge in the next chapter. And....she needs to tell him that she's in love with him because she is.
Reviewer: gbasjw Signed
Date: June 19, 2010
Title: Chapter 27: Pause and Persuade
Are we going to get back to funny, neurotic, self-deprecating Edward anytime soon?
Reviewer: gbasjw Signed
Date: June 25, 2010
Title: Chapter 28: Found and Lost
I don't hate you but I'm glad you're not ending it here. Although, I will be pissed off if this doesn't end with a HEA. I say that not because I think all E&B stories should end HEA, but because this story has taken a rather uneven path that has caused your readers to love this Edward not to revile him. I guess if he had stayed super intense & harsh as he was in the beginning I would feel differently. Instead, he morphed into this nutty, needy, funny and eccentric but totally endearing Edward. The Edward that Bella, as well as your readers, fell in love with. Your A/N said you originally intended for it to be tragic. Tragic for Edward, Bella or both?
I'm guessing you are getting enough heart-felt pleas to come to some sort of conclusion where E&B stay together. Doesn't mean that it has to be hearts & flowers perfect but...really - please don't go another 5-10 chapters to have them irrevocably separated. Please? This is a special story. Ending with them being reunited will not change that.
Reviewer: gbasjw Signed
Date: July 22, 2010
Title: Chapter 31: Mope and Hope
I'm sucking in my breathe...could it be? A HEA for our favorite couple...our very needy, yet unbelievably sweet vamp boy? Please???
Reviewer: gbasjw Signed
Date: August 02, 2010
Title: Chapter 32: Try and Fail
Poor Boobward. Could this vamp boy have any more issues? Really? And was he really so dense that he couldn't anticipate that Bella would want to be changed? Although, to be fair, he has had an awful lot to deal with so that probably wasn't at the forefront of his mind.
I hope that these two ultimately get to be together for a very long time. They have been through so much to be denied that.
Reviewer: gbasjw Signed
Date: August 28, 2010
Title: Chapter 35: Epilogue: Love and Live
I am sobbing like a dope. Such perfectly beautiful ending. Thank you for giving them a HEA.
Summary: Edward Cullen is an anomaly as far as Bella Swan is concerned, defying all her preconceived notions about the whorishness of hockey players. Through incessant stalking and persistence, can Edward wears down Bella's resistence and teaches her to embrace her inner hockey hooker? A ridiculous love story.
Categories: AU-Human Characters: Edward
Challenges: Series: Always Human
Chapters: 2 Completed: Yes
Word count: 14519
[Report This] Published: January 27, 2010 Updated: August 19, 2010
Reviewer: gbasjw Signed
Date: April 11, 2010
Title: The Misapprehension of Bella Swan Regarding the Inferior Intellect of Hockey Whores
Oh yeah - I said I wasn't going to let myself get sucked into another new (to me) FF but I kept hearing about this one. You won. This is f'ing awesome. So funny & sexy! I'm hooked & can't wait for the next update.
Summary: 
The absolute last thing in Bella Swan's mind is uprooting her life, mid-semester of her senior year of High School, let alone move to Forks, the rainy, dreary town her homely father resides in. Yet the move brings her a sort of peace and optimism; things were definitely changing, and falling into a simple, easy routine. Enter the mysterious stranger Edward Cullen, who sweeps her off of her feet, exciting in her feelings of passion, hatred, and more importantly, passionate hate.
Will life ever be simple again?
AU / AH OOC
Based extremely loosely on Taylor Swift's "Love Story".
RATED NC-17 FOR LANGUAGE, ADULT THEMES AND CONTENT, AND LATER LEMONS!!!
amazingly, beautiful & fantastical banner by Ms. Ambrosia
Categories: AU-Human Characters: Alice, Angela, Bella, Ben, Carlisle, Charlie, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jacob, Jasper, Jessica, Mike, Renee, Rosalie
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 9 Completed: No
Word count: 54448
[Report This] Published: February 03, 2010 Updated: January 09, 2011
Reviewer: gbasjw Signed
Date: October 29, 2010
Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 7: Adam, Eve and All That Shit
Hey girl! Glad to see you back writing bb. I know you had a rough summer. I had to re-read a bit but it wasn't that hard to get back into the story :) I still love it.
I'm thinking Edward isn't probably going to have to hard a time getting Bella since she is clearly just as attracted to him as he is to her. He'll have a harder time battling with himself & then...Charlie when he finds out. Bella seems to have her own issues too so it will interesting to see how they come into play. This chapter had some pretty heavy thinking for a 17 year old boy. What's the deal with Jasper? How'd he get so wise? He's like the teenage Dr. Phil !
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