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Penname: so absurd [Contact]
Real name: Teri
Status: Member
Member Since: June 23, 2009
Website:
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Reviews by so absurd
 
Summary: Feature

Dark Side of the Moon banner

Thanks Roo, for the amazing banner! 

And more keep coming in!  Thanks to m81170 for this lovely piece of art:

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Here's another amazing pic that fits in with Dark Side of the Moon perfectly -thank you to JohannaL for ID'ing the author:  http://smirks-works.livejournal.com/ check out her (I assume) other manips - she's a genius!

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Updated November, 2009

This story is now COMPLETE!

Dark Side of the Moon is my version of New Moon from Edward’s point of view.  Witness how Edward agonized over leaving Bella, hunted for Victoria, faced the Volturi, and came to realize that with Bella was where he was meant to be. 

This tormented story has been a part of my life for about a year and a half – and what a ride it’s been!  Meant to be canon and in character, I hope you enjoy angsty Edward and his suffering during New Moon.  As unhappy as Bella was during this time, Edward suffered so much more (I think).  So be sure and crack open a fresh box of tissues before reading!

 Thank you to everyone for all the reviews, especially to those of you who reviewed each and every chapter!  Your support and loyalty have been the driving force to me getting this project finished – and I hope it’s lived up to all of your expectations.

Love you all,

blondieakarobin

PS.  As one last thank you, I’ve posted a formatted, printable copy of Dark Side of the Moon at http://bit.ly/2vLHMi, as will also post as an electronic version suitable for viewing on a kindle or MobiReader.  I’m also posting a ‘Director’s Cut’ that includes citations of all of Bella’s quotes from Twilight, research notes, and even funny comments from my betas in this version in the same directory.

blondie

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Use of the dialog from the series is just for clarity - Stephenie Meyer owns all things twilight!  I'm making absolutely nothing from this work.


Categories: New Moon Characters: Bella, Edward
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 24 Completed: Yes Word count: 163080
[Report This] Published: May 09, 2008 Updated: February 27, 2010


Reviewer: so absurd Signed
Date: March 05, 2010 Title: Chapter 24: Outtake: Missing

I loved the line about Edward throwing Bella to the wolves!

 
Produttore by marve Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 712]
Summary:

Bella is convinced that Edward has fallen out of love with her.  His constant disappearances, his avoidance of her touch - there are so many signs that it's true.

But when she starts to notice some strange changes in Edward and Alice, Bella starts to suspect that something else is going on.


Categories: Post-Eclipse, AU Characters: Alice, Aro, Bella, Caius, Carlisle, Edward, Esme, Jane, Jasper, Marcus
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 19 Completed: No Word count: 21093
[Report This] Published: November 20, 2008 Updated: March 01, 2009


Reviewer: so absurd Signed
Date: August 24, 2009 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3

OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!!!!! You're nasty, but I like it!

 
Reviewer: so absurd Signed
Date: August 25, 2009 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4

Nobody's throwing potatoes at you, you're awesome! It took everthing I had to tear myself away from my laptop and make dinner between chapters 3 and 4!

 
Snowed In by eclipsedawn Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 5322]
Summary: Bella travels to Alaska to vacation in the cabin Alice loaned her. What happens when Bella finds out she is not the only person staying in the cabin?

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Categories: AU-Human Characters: Alice, Bella, Edward, Jacob, Jasper
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 29 Completed: Yes Word count: 88293
[Report This] Published: November 29, 2008 Updated: January 02, 2010


Reviewer: so absurd Signed
Date: September 04, 2009 Title: Chapter 28: Reunion

If it makes you feel any better I'm sick as well. Love being sick on Friday's tho! (Update day!) Kleenex, cup o' tea, laptop, fuzzy pink slippers. Could life get any better? Okay, what's on the mantel? Something from the cabin? Guess I'll just have to reread from the beginning. Not that I mind at all. Hope your feeling better soon.

 
The List by Laura Cullen Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 13656]
Summary:

Four weeks before her wedding to Edward, Bella is frustrated. She knows there's little-to-no chance of getting him to bend his rules and boundaries now, but there's no harm in fantasizing about what could happen later. So she begins compiling a list of things that she and Edward can do together once they're happily married. She's surprised to find she might be able to cross some things off earlier than she thought...

Story contains mature themes and is not intended for younger readers.

Thanks to Mandi, aka m81170, for the great banner!


Categories: Post-Eclipse Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Charlie, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jasper, Rosalie
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 28 Completed: Yes Word count: 187877
[Report This] Published: December 28, 2008 Updated: March 19, 2010


Reviewer: so absurd Signed
Date: August 20, 2009 Title: Chapter 25: Chapter 25: The Book and the Change

Well that was a forehead slapping moment! Of course Jasper would have been able to "feel" Bella during the change and be able to help her as well. Why didn't SM think of that. Love your story, can't wait for more!!!

 
Reviewer: so absurd Signed
Date: August 28, 2009 Title: Chapter 26: Chapter 26: Alive and Awake

Happy Birthday Girl!! I'm giving you a virtual hug and a box of chocolates, All your favorite kinds so you'll always know just what your going to get! I've enjoyed this story so much, thank-you. Hope you have your own Stephanie dream someday soon. Waiting for the epilogue. (Does it really have to end?)

 
Reviewer: so absurd Signed
Date: September 04, 2009 Title: Chapter 27: Epiclogue: A Million Tomorrows

I'm so sad this has come to an end.  This is my favorite story of all, you are amazing, a very talented writer. I have to say the cabin wrecking was my favorite part. looking forward to a sequel. Best Wishes!

 
Summary: Feature


He's a young but jaded keyboard player writing lyrics for his band, Breaking Dawn, and she's a naive and frustrated poet looking to break out of her shell; their words collide on-line.
What happens when they meet in high school, unaware of their literary connection?

OOC, canon at heart.
Banner by FatApolloLove


Categories: AU-Human Characters: None
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 37 Completed: Yes Word count: 146168
[Report This] Published: February 22, 2009 Updated: August 27, 2009


Reviewer: so absurd Signed
Date: November 30, 2009 Title: Chapter 5: Visuals

Crisp! Love this story by the way.

 
Reviewer: so absurd Signed
Date: December 02, 2009 Title: Chapter 37: Epilogue in Review

Go for it! This was truly an amazing story. I'm just sorry it had to end.

 
Moonshadow by diamondheart Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarhalf-star [Reviews - 642]
Summary:

What if Edward kept his promise and Bella never heard from the Cullens again?  Jacob was more than willing to console her, but would she have the sense to let him?

"You know what your problem is, Bells? You're in love - with the wrong thing. You think you're hung up on a guy who left you, but you're not. You're hung up on the idea of yourself as the heartbroken heroine."

Alternate ending to New Moon...just a nice love story, with monsters. Rated for certain chapters, at a sultry 108 degrees!

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Many thanks to Sassenach Wench for the stylish story banner!

~*~A finalist in The Indie TwiFic Awards Winter 2010: Best New Moon Complete & AU that knocks you off your feet! Thanks for all the love and support! ~*~

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Be sure to read the follow up fics '93 Million Miles' and 'Jacob's Ladder' posted here on Twilighted!

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Categories: New Moon, Eclipse, AU Characters: Bella
Challenges:
Series: The Bella and Jacob Chronicles, The Moonshadow Continuum
Chapters: 20 Completed: Yes Word count: 76998
[Report This] Published: February 22, 2009 Updated: September 10, 2009


Reviewer: so absurd Signed
Date: September 02, 2009 Title: Chapter 19: Easy as Breathing

That was very sweet! Hey I just had an epiphany! This chapter just made me think that Bella came to Forks and found her fork in the road. Jacob led one way and Edward the other. I haven't read anything about this but I'm sure it's out there somewhere and I'm just a little slow on the uptake! I hope Edward is okay and just coming back to give them his blessings. Waiting patiently for the epilogue...



Author's Response:

Hmmm...that sounds like a one-shot in the making...! Your patience will be rewarded soon... <><3

 
Reviewer: so absurd Signed
Date: September 10, 2009 Title: Chapter 20: Epilogue

Aw, I love happy endings. Thoroughly enjoyed your story, thank-you.



Author's Response:

Thank you! My aim was to satisfy! <><3

 
Summary: Feature

OOC Banner

 

Bella is devastated by the loss of her mother and is forced to go live with Charlie, her Mom's best friend, when there is no one else to take her in. She gives up on living, too lost in her own anger to let anyone close to her. Enter Edward, the handsome teenage vampire, and the beginning of a complicated love-hate relationship. Neither can deny the connection between them, but can their love survive the fear that rules her and the secret he hides from her? AU and OOC, Rated NC-17 for language and sexual content.


Categories: Twilight, AU Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Charlie, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jacob, Jasper, Jessica, Mike, Rosalie
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 47 Completed: Yes Word count: 292396
[Report This] Published: February 24, 2009 Updated: December 25, 2009


Reviewer: so absurd Signed
Date: September 23, 2009 Title: Chapter 45: Beginnings

This is such a beautiful story. I can't wait for the next chapter!



Author's Response:

Thank you. That's such a nice thing to say. I hope the next chapter doesn't disappoint! Thanks for the review!

 
Wide Awake by AngstGoddess003 Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 189]
Summary:

Edward and Bella have dark pasts that leave them severely emotionally scarred, with nightmares that force them to stay awake. They meet and begin to form a bond during the night hours. AH, Highly OOC, Rated M for dark themes. No rape, no cutting. BxE. Banner by UnicornByEdward <3

Wide Awake - Banner made by Unicornbyedward


Categories: AU-Human Characters: Bella, Edward
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 4 Completed: No Word count: 18689
[Report This] Published: February 27, 2009 Updated: March 16, 2009


Reviewer: so absurd Signed
Date: August 23, 2009 Title: Chapter 4: Peanut Butter Panaceas

This is very good. I can't wait for more.

 
Summary:

Bella takes a vacation to Hilton Head Island in South Carolina to meet Alice's new boyfriend, Jasper. Rosalie and Emmett come along, too, just in case Bella didn't feel like enough of a fifth wheel. With Jasper's roommate out of town, Bella has his nice big bed all to herself. Until Edward comes home in the middle of the night...

Beautiful banner by the awesome achelle131


Categories: AU-Human Characters: Alice, Bella, Edward, Emmett, Jacob, Jasper, Rosalie
Challenges:
Series: Always Human , SMUT - Best of the Best - Edward and Bella
Chapters: 36 Completed: Yes Word count: 163211
[Report This] Published: March 02, 2009 Updated: December 21, 2011


Reviewer: so absurd Signed
Date: October 03, 2009 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4 A Deity at the Beach (V)

i'm lovin' this story! Never heard of sun poisoning before tho. Can't wait to read on.

 
Summary:

      

A chance encounter leads to an odd attraction that develops into an addiction.

 There are so many things about this woman that fascinate me.  She's beautiful.  Classically beautiful at that.  Intelligent.  Articulate.  Witty.  She's everything any man could ever dream of or want.  Except I don't even know her name.

Warnings:  Lemons.  Lots of lemons.  Actually, more like Mike's Hard Lemonade.  Mild D/s.

 

 


Categories: Other Characters: Robert Pattinson
Challenges:
Series: The Anonymous Series
Chapters: 10 Completed: No Word count: 44658
[Report This] Published: March 19, 2009 Updated: June 10, 2010


Reviewer: so absurd Signed
Date: September 03, 2009 Title: Chapter 4: The Longest Day

This is my first review for this story. Sorry about that. Am I too embarrassed to say that I like it? Maybe. Please update soon!



Author's Response:

Hey, first, second, third - whatever.  I really appreciate you leaving your thoughts though.  Honestly I think a lot of people are a little embarrassed to say they enjoy this one, lol - both because its RFP and the BDSM stuff.  But that doesn't bother me.  I know people are enjoying it (I can see how many "reads" it gets and I know it's not just the same people reading it 600 hundred times a piece, lol).  I'm glad you like it so far - and if you don't feel comfortable leaving any other reviews, that's cool.  Just keep reading and enjoying it - that's why I do this :)

 
Reviewer: so absurd Signed
Date: September 10, 2009 Title: Chapter 5: Tea and Sympathy

Wow!  Great chapter. Mmm Rob in Cannes, can't wait.....



Author's Response:

Thanks for the review!  The pics of him from the photo call are some of my favorite.  Although it's organized chaos and he's on display like a piece of meat, he looked comfortable (maybe because the situation was somewhat controlled?).  Anyway.  I'll do what I can to do Rob in Cannes.  *snicker*

 
Summary:

Bella has been with Jacob for four years and everyone thinks they have the perfect relationship. Their friends and family expect an engagement any day, but Bella is having second thoughts. A story about old love, new love, and friendship.

Canon pairings. Slightly OOC. Rated for later chapters.

FINALIST IN THE INDIE TWIFIC AWARDS! CATEGORY: BEST AU HUMAN-COMPLETE.

banner no sleep

 


Categories: AU-Human Characters: Alice, Bella, Edward, Emmett, Jacob, Jasper, Rosalie
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 22 Completed: Yes Word count: 76222
[Report This] Published: March 22, 2009 Updated: June 05, 2009


Reviewer: so absurd Signed
Date: January 25, 2010 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4

I would like to know where Edward was sitting at the diner? Possible right behind them and heard every word? I hope so!

 
Reviewer: so absurd Signed
Date: January 25, 2010 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5

Well at least Bella is not the bad guy in this break-up now.

 
Summary: Feature

 

*Takes place during New Moon in an alternate universe.

On March 16, 2006,  the World changed, and everything and anything that the Cullens ever cared about was lost. They had to find their own way in this New World. Edward never wished to exist in a world where Bella didn't.  Unfortunately, his family desperately needed him, so he'd stay to help them.   And by doing so, he hoped to redeem himself for his failure to save the one creature he couldn't protect. 

With rumours in the South of humans feeding off the living and stealing people from their beds, the Cullens have a responsibility to protect the ones they can from those monsters in the night.  This was Edward's last chance to fight for his soul and his salvation.  He would finally be ready to face Judgement day and be deemed worthy enough to be with Bella once again.  Or would something or someone change the path he was destined to go down?  Faith, hope and love are powerful things, and Edward is about to find out just how powerful they are.

 

Yes... this is the story that is set during a post-apocalyptic nuclear war. Just try the Prologue to get a feel for it before passing judgment. You might be surprised. Warning: There is violence and disturbing images the further the story goes along.


Categories: New Moon, AU Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jasper, Rosalie
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 39 Completed: Yes Word count: 315697
[Report This] Published: March 24, 2009 Updated: March 25, 2012


Reviewer: so absurd Signed
Date: September 02, 2009 Title: Chapter 8: Fools Rush in Where Angels Fear to Tread

She's still alive.

 
Reviewer: so absurd Signed
Date: September 02, 2009 Title: Chapter 10: To Err is Human, To Forgive Divine

She can't be dead. Sob Sob.

 
Reviewer: so absurd Signed
Date: September 07, 2009 Title: Chapter 18: Faith Keeps the Man Who Keeps his Faith

Never apologize for a long chapter! Can't wait for more. I'm really enjoying your story.

 
Summary:

 

Edward left Bella, forcing his family to stay away from her. Six years onwards, the Cullens are a mess without Bella and Emmett decides to get away from his angry, angst ridden family and let loose. What he finds in the meanest biker bar in Seatle will send shockwaves through his entire family.

 

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All canon couples!


Categories: New Moon Characters: None
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 38 Completed: Yes Word count: 112765
[Report This] Published: April 07, 2009 Updated: December 05, 2009


Reviewer: so absurd Signed
Date: August 12, 2009 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 7:Welcome Home Bella, oops I mean Izzy!

Keep it coming!

 
Reviewer: so absurd Signed
Date: August 12, 2009 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

wow. wasn't expecting that.

 
Reviewer: so absurd Signed
Date: August 12, 2009 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2: Reckless Abandonment

You should have named this Twilight Zone!!!!

 
Reviewer: so absurd Signed
Date: August 12, 2009 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3: Scariest Place EVER!

can't wait to find out what made her chose that direction.

 




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All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the intellectual property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.