Edward's too worried about trains crashing when he should be enjoying the ride.  Bella is enjoying the ride.  Both of them are hurting and are only happy when they are together.  Bella could handle the story of Edward's past and help him heal fully.  If Edward would open up fully the truth would set him free.  His mother was wrong.  Edward didn't kill his father and he didn't deserve the treatment from his mother.  Whatever he did to his mother was based on her treatment of him and his feeling of not being able to tolerate it any more.  Esme feeling horrible not seeing the terrible treatment towards Edward all those years ago.  It was hidden very well behind closed doors. Edward is in love with Bella.  Bella is in love with Edward.  Love with conquer all.  What's in the past is the past.  They both need to look towards their future together and where they can go from here.

Edward thinks by telling Bella about his past as a child it will scare her away.  It definitely shocked her.  Only because she hasn't heard the entire ordeal.  In fact if he gave her the all the facts he didn't fight his mother when she came after him with the knife.  He would have allowed it to happen probably. Who knows if his self preservation instincts wouldn't have kicked in at the end.  Alice tried to stop her mom, bring her back to reality.  All it did was turned their mother on Alice.  That was their mother's mistake.  Edward acted to save his sister.  Took the knife while their mother was stunned Edward fought back and he attacked to protect his sister.  With all the tortue, threats, beatings, grabbing him, shoving him, etc... he snapped once he started he couldn't stop.  All his pent up fear, frustration, anger, terror, etc... had to be released.  Killing your mother usually would be a horrible thing, but in this case with no one to help these poor small children from a mother who had lost her mind to grief.  There was really no other choice, it was either her or them.  Do you save the two young children or the mother?  Edward couldn't see Alice die, the only person he loved above all else.  As long as they were together nothing else mattered.  He really needs to come to grip with what happened.  He didn't kill his father and his mother was in self defense and to protect Alice.  If his letter had been stamped and reached Esme and Carlisle, maybe his mother could have been helped.  Things might have been different, but that's something no one will ever know.  A little boy having to live with those memories every day of his life would be hard and being brainwashed with the blame of your father's death constantly you have no self worth at all.

Loved the story about the trip to see Santa.  Especially little Makenna taking the picture of the dog her brother wanted more than anything else in the world. Not giving them to the mall Santa, but the janitor because he looked like the real one.  Who knows he just might have been the real one.  Look the puppy arrived on the doorstep looking exactly like the picture Masen drew.  Who else but Santa could find a puppy to match the picture.  Giving Bella and Edward the best gift of their children having the joy of childhood and the innocence to enjoy the holiday.  To see the excitement and enchantment of the magic of Christmas on the face of a child is the most beautiful part of the holiday season.  What a wonderful gift for both Edward and Bella too.

The journey of Esme and your mother was an emotional roller coaster for you and your family.  In reading the journey of faith that Edward undertook to realize that God does exist and that bad things happen to good people is any indictation of your own personal journey you experienced quite a tremendous road.  The ups and joys of Esme's successes and then learning of the cancers return and type knowing that no cure available.  Knowing the sands of time were running with no idea of how long or how much suffering she would encounter along the way. The losing of ones parents no matter how old or young the child may be is difficult and life changing.  As a person who has lost both parents I can understand those losses.  Unlike the experience of Edward watching his mother's slow decline/rise/decline etc.... my father has massive heart attack at 45 and died on the table during an angioplasy (sp) procedure at 59 with not enough good heart left to do any bipasses. Daddy had hard time sleeping was in hospital draining fluid from his lungs prior to procedure.  But being unable to say a final goodbye has weighed very heavily upon myself as I refused my 4 year from calling her grandfather prior to the procedure thus preventing her as well from saying her last words to him.   The guilt weighs doubly from that mistake.  In the case of my mother, we all just thought she had the flu.  She couldn't hold anything down, but soup.  I stopped at the store and purchased her more soup to help her.  Offered to stay with her and cook it.  She said she could microwave it and I needed to be home with my husband and 3 children.  I missed her last phone call while talking with a girlfriend late one night.  Only to attempt calling her the following day to a non-answered phone.  My husband and I with the children went to check on her and I found her dead in a chair in the living room watching the Disney channel.  Quite a shock, again no time to say goodbye or final parting words.  I know she knew I loved her.  She was included in every vacation we went on with the children.  Visits to my in-laws included.  I only wish I had the time Edward had additional with his mother knowing the end was coming. I have been told by friends who parents have had long enduring illnesses watching them slip by slowly and painfully that having them go quickly is better.  Quick you don't feel you have enough time.  Where as lengthly illness you have additional time to discuss and live through memories watching them waste away to nothing is hard as well.  The end no matter when it occurs is never enough time for the living which is what Edward learned.  The person leaving it is a joyous event since they are returning to our heavenly Father and their family and friends before them.  Experiencing along with Edward his journey brought back a lot of memories of my own parents and watching my grandparents after strokes waste away to nothing.  His pain was heartbreaking.  Bella having to live through it twice since she loved Esme as a mother too.  Finding the strength to continue after the loss of a loved one is never an easy thing to find.  Grief effects everyone differently too.  Edward just needed to find his faith.  He always had it, just everywhere he asked his "Why?" questions he was shot down by authority figures who were unable to answer them. The amount of tears I shed for your characters during the entire piece  was enough to float a boat.  My eyes were swollen shut the morning after I finished it based on them.  Thanks for sharing your heartfelt journey of discovery and the remarkable life of your mother.

Finally a method of communicating more than yes/no/emotions through music only to have Alice pick up Bella for a seasonal ritual.  Alice as a wood nymph seems appropriate.  The ceremony was interesting to say the least, then to cleanse Bella's aura to it's brightest.  Only to have Edward revealed to Alice.  Not sure why Alice is angry about it though.  Unless she realized that it was Edward's spirit that night at the club with all the electrical fireworks.  If Bella wants Edward's ghost around her, then Alice shouldn't disagree.  Edward isn't going to do anything to hurt Bella at all with the exception of having her fall in love with a ghost and never have a full loving relationship between them.

Edward home -- crippled in his mind.  But home alive.  Bella and Edward are communicating well together since the ceremony. Bella confiding in Alice about Edward's spirit with her.  Alice afraid Bella getting too close to her cousin Anthony.  No Bella is in love with Edward. Edward blew up her computer.  Oh no -- has to contact Mike -- Edward no way.  Mr jealous won't let the man anywhere near her.  He's afraid to move to physical, but Bella is willing.  Interesting to see how convincing Bella can be to move the man.  He's pretty stubborn and set in his ways.  Looking forward to more interaction between Bella and Edward while they share Rose's diary and more about Edward's life upon return from the war.  Bella admitted she would have taken him when he came home.  She didn't think he was damaged/broken.

Anthony is not anything like Edward.  He may look like him minus the eye color, but his behavior towards Bella is not acceptable.  She's paying him to repair the house not to take orders from him to fit his schedule for purchasing parts.  The hardward store incident between Anthony and Mr Arty wonder what Anthony had done to make him forbidden to be in there.  Bella is leery of Anthony and his temper and abruptness bordering rudeness.  Reading the diary learning about Edward and Rosalie's life.  Where the pieces belong. Edward still trying to figure out why his soul is still earthbound.

The way Edward's family are acting by not talking about where Edward has gone is almost as if they are ashamed of him. Rose hasn't any idea.  She has a small idea he's enlisted, but rather he ran away to get married.  More romantic and safer option.  Emmett made the right move by telling her the truth.  She did almost faint, but he caught her and comforted her.  James made some snide comments about Rose and Emmett.  Bella has strong feelings towards Edward.  She knows he dies young.  That's why she is dragging the diary out so long.  Also why she has Anthony doing the repairs on the house to have Edward's look alike live in the flesh only the eyes are the wrong color.  She talks to Edward because she really wishes he was there with her.  He doesn't realize that.  He thinks the feelings are only one sided.  At the bar dancing with Anthony in Bella's mind she is dancing with Edward.  She wants it to be Edward.  Edward's getting stronger, more energy stored, emotions enraged through jealousy caused commotion.  Wonder if the energy he is gradually collecting will be enough to bring him back.

Glad that Jasper and Alice have realized that they are soul mates.  Wonder what Alice was upset she didn't see until it was too late.  Both Bella and Edward are soul mates.  It is sad that Bella found hers 90 years too late.  Sounds like Edward is becoming more powerful in the real world to make things occur.  Strange things happen when you're in love.  Bella's hangover the morning after  isn't too cool.  She realized she never had that period of time in her life where she was a party girl.  After leaving parents' house, college, before marriage lifetime.  She went from daddy to married life never was the carefree single going out for a night of drinking and dancing with friends. As Bella remembers things she that happened when she came home last night she realized that Jake didn't take away her ability to be a loving, sexy, desirable woman.  Jasper inadvertently admitted to making love to Alice.  He is concerned that he upset her and on the other not regretting.  He had to leave for work.  So he needs Bella to check on her later.  I liked that Bella threatened Jasper if she loses a friend because of his player ways.  He said he's not playing he thinks she is the one and only for him.  Edward liked Jasper for getting Bella out of club when he lost his temper the previous evening.  Also because they both don't like and trust his nephew around Bella.  Enjoys Bella talking to Edward. But when Jasper took credit for his flower on the front porch made Edward angry at Jasper, but he was able to control.  He's planning on new and other ways beside moving a spoon or book to make Bella aware he's there with her.  Can't wait for the new and improve methods.  Just love 1917 Edward the gentlemen, the soldier, the man in love.  Anthony is so vulgar, aggressive, crude, etc...

It's not like Edward hasn't been giving her a lot of clues for quite a while now.  It took having him disengage her truck to prevent her from going to town for dinner with the boys.  That didn't work, Mike stopped to pick her up.  The walk along the beach and the green glass glowing for her.  Put all the pieces together for her.  I loved Edward making Mike trip all the time.  Mike doesn't have a clue that the driftwood was placed in front of him to trip him so he wouldn't touch Bella.  Edward's not going to let anyone near her.  Since Bella is already beyond infatuated with Edward's picture and based on Rosalie's diary falling hard for him, now she knows he is in the house.  Wonder what her first question will be to have him prove he's there with her.  I can't wait for the other chapters either.  Been looking forward to the revelation portion for quite some time now. One of my stories on Twilighted.  Must be seeing Edward in uniform.  Just plain sexy.

Very much enjoyed the first two chapters. I liked your version of Arthur's Knights.  I have always loved the Medieval time of history. Just the thought of Edward in armor is heart stopping.  He'll be glorious.  Not that Jacob wasn't fine in his.  Enjoyed the joust and it was extremely kind of him to let Jasper win.  Twist of having Rosalie and Jacob being siblings with Rosalie interested in Jasper.  Alice interested in Jacob and sort of Jasper.  The Alice and Edward friendship related as sister/brother closeness.  Her new vision will cause a lot of activity in court.  With Jacob rivaling Edward for the hand of Isabella. Along with all the other ladies in waiting being jealous of any attention from Edward towards any woman, Isabella will be the woman envied by all the others.  Looking forward to the next chapter when Edward arrived back in Camelot.

Things are going very well for Bella and Edward.  Both are wanting the relationship to go further both emotionally and physically especially Bella.  Edward doesn't want to go too fast to mess things up with Bella. Finally tell each other how they feel for each other now.  Teaching Charlie to pee like a man.  Pretty funny.  something I never worried about either.  Definitely a man's job.  When Luke was describing that box filled with pictures of Cammy and guys with dates I had a feeling that she was the one Edward picked up when he first came to town.  When he first learned about being a father.  Bella shouldn't be upset it was before they got together.  When he was trying to grasp the concept and get his head around the idea of being a father. Charlie is a smart kid, picks up on things quickly especially ideas.  If the rumor starts getting around about his mom and dad it will be bad.  Edward wants the whole package of Bella, Charlie, all of them together. Looking forward to the next chapter.  The fortune teller voice of doom is coming in spades.

Bella was attracted to Edward, but knew what a jerk is was with woman.  She stayed away from him except that party.  She was innocent and just going to lay down after getting drunk.  Wound up in the wrong bed.  Edward was wasted and angry to find someone in his bed.  He secretly was attracted to her all this time.  He took her roughly and torn her painfully.  Bella never told Edward she was a virgin and he never asked either.  Both wanted the other even drunk.  Bella got pregnant from their encounter.  She decided not to tell any of the Cullens and keep the information and little Charlie all to herself.  Her dad and Jake knew because of the likeness.  Alice returned to Forks and took one look at the toddler and knew the baby was Edward's.  She told her mom and dad to return home.  The entire famiy except Edward was told. I'm surprised Emmett didn't punch him on first site.  The family was amazed at the likeness in appearance and actions of Charlie.  So much like Edward. Can't wait until Edward knows that Bella had a baby and he looks just like Edward.  He'll flip.  It was his mistake not to cover before he took Bella.  The family trying to act normal but the awkward circumstances have made it hard to do.  Edward is hearing all the whispering and "the looks" among his family and can't figure out what it is all about.  Only to see Bella who blows him off angrily then he figures Bella has told Alice about how rouogh and ungentlemenly is was with their encounter and now the family knows about it.  He'll croak when he learns he has a son and that Bella has a sort of boyfriend acting as father.  Jake acts more as part of the family than the Cullens had before.  Now Charlie calls Alice aunt alice and Esme and Carlise as Gramma and Papa Cullen.  So cute.  I love little Charlie.  He's adorable.  Good kid.  My son was 10 1 and 22 1/2"  He also stood at 9 months and was running at 9 1/2 months.  A true handful so I can sympathize with Charlie and Bella chasing after him.