Your donations help keep this site running,
thank you very much for the support!
Penname: romancaholic [Contact]
Real name: Carol Travers
Status: Member
Member Since: June 19, 2009
Website:
Beta-reader:

[Report This]
 
 
Reviews by romancaholic
 
Broken by jarielynn Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 444]
Summary:

 

Three people, two brothers and one girl. The Cullen brothers both love the same girl, Bella Swan. Emmett is her high school sweetheart, He has loved her since he was sixteen years old. Edward is the man who helps her with her college pre-law classes. Edward finds himself falling for his brother's girl. Guilt, shame, and desire build within him. Sometime's when he looks at her he swears he sees it in her too. 

Rec'd by:  http://www.facebook.com/#!/twilightfanfic

and   

http://twi-ficpromotions.blogspot.com/2010/07/broken.html?zx=9c28590a5509d689


Categories: AU-Human Characters: Bella, Edward, Emmett
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 33 Completed: No Word count: 83035
[Report This] Published: May 29, 2010 Updated: March 19, 2012


Reviewer: romancaholic Signed
Date: January 22, 2011 Title: Chapter 17: Chapter 16- Tired

Bella acting jealous and angry at Edward.  I'm surprised Edward didn't put it together the reason why she asked him about sleeping with Jessica.  She was upset the night of her birthday celebration as well.  He should have noticed when he mentioned he had another date with her on the weekend Bella's reaction.  Not happy about it at all.  Bella isn't understanding her emotions either.  She knows it is being jealous, but why.  Just thinking about Edward with Jessica made her livid.  Edward's confused because Bella's with his brother Emmett.  Edward still has deep feelings/attraction towards Bella. Will be interesting to see how they get together.  As well as the trip to New York with Emmett.  I can't give you a reason why reviews are lesser. I guess we are all waiting until Bella and Edward get together since we can see the strong emotions between them.  Will we know why Edward looked so tired and distraught?



Author's Response:

Edward did notice... he was looking for signs, but he doesn't believe what he sees... like he thinks all this is one sided. Maybe I can explain that better in the story. As for her birthday... well Edward was ignoring her for his own safety and sanity. I think everybody is waiting for Bella and Edward. But after 3 years with Emmett she can't just suddenly up and jump on someone else. That's not who she is. However we are getting into more Bella and Edward interaction and things wil be happening. Thank you for following me all this time. I really appreciate your reviews. :)  Oh-- Edward is emotionally drained and that is why he is tired. he mentioned being tired of all the things he was feeling. :)

 
Reviewer: romancaholic Signed
Date: February 05, 2011 Title: Chapter 18: Chapter 17- It Happened One Night

Strange place to meet someone you know the grocery store.  It was nice of Bella to ask Edward to dinner.  Too bad she couldn't cook anything.  Edward had to take care of her, the burnt food, the smoke, the smoke alarm to stop, and then cook something to eat.  Bella is beginning to notice the little things about Edward.  Even when they talked about blushing she admitted she blushed because he was older and very good looking.  She was deep down attracted to him.  The attraction is growing for Bella.  She's miserable when he isn't around.  Jealous knowing he is still dating Jessica.  Excited about Emmett taking her to New York, which he really isn't interested in at all.  The love of New York and its sites is Edward and Bella.  Emmett is doing it just to make Bella happy.  Edward is still very much hooked on Bella.  The more she learns about Edward the more things in common they share and teasing him about things they don't.  Should be an interesting evening now that Emmett is home after helping Mrs. Hale.

 
Reviewer: romancaholic Signed
Date: February 22, 2011 Title: Chapter 19: Chapter 18 - Closer and Farther Away

Bella and Edward has so much in common.  They have the same life plan, enjoy a lot of the same things, have fun, been starting to have coffee, dinner, movies, and socializing.  Since the afternoons/evenings at the library working on Bella's papers for Banner's class.  Also Edward has been walking Bella to class while carrying her books on Tuesdays.  They have been spending a lot of time together.  They both experience the electrical jolt between them whenever they touch.  Emmett and Bella are unintentional distancing apart from each other.  Their interests and goals in life are becoming further and further apart.  The only common ground Emmett and Bella have is their past in high school.  People change and ideals/goals change as they mature and decide which path in life they strive for themselves.  Their schedules are compatible with Emmett working long hours during the week and Saturday.  Bella's hours are long with classes, studying, spending time in the libraries.  Bella has been jealous of Edward dating Jessica.  Now she is having dreams about Edward.  Bella was starting to make love with Emmett, but remembering her dream and picturing it was Edward's green eyes not Emmett's blue.  Once she realized that she couldn't do it.  Bella's feeling guilty about mentally being attracted towards Edward, having fun with him.  Even Edward noticed the difference in her when they are alone vs. having Emmett join them. Then going to the Cullens' for Thanksgiving all sitting on the same side of the table with Bella in the middle.  The tension between all three of them was palpable.  Alice could sense it.  Knew that if Edward would continue to see Bella problems would occur.  Alice trying to defuse the tension takes Bella away to discuss her wedding plans.  Bella had fun being with Alice.  Seems Bella gets along very well with all the Cullens.  Emmett doesn't understand what is happening.  He has tried to bridge the gap between them. He's giving Bella time to get her thoughts together and hoping she will tell him what's bothering her.  It's a tough situation to love one brother when teenager and now fall in love with the other brother. Bella loves them both, but she's leaning towards Edward. Emmett and Bella don't even talk any more.  I feel for Emmett he has no idea of anything. 

 
Reviewer: romancaholic Signed
Date: May 01, 2011 Title: Chapter 22: Chapter 21 - Breaking Point

Bella is sending mixed messages changing her behavior overnight. Sitting across the table in the library.  Rushing away early when they would spend the entire evening in the library and then coffee talking. The following day Edward would walk her to her next class talking when she just walked away from him and then didn't show up to the library at all.  He went the following day and she never showed up.  His heart was broken.  He couldn't figure out why her behavior was so different.  What did he do? He had wanted her for so long.  He finally had at least a part of her.  He knew he had her friendship and maybe even more. He kept rethinking all of his actions and things he said to her.  Unsure about Emmett's injury not like Em at all.  Thursday was determined to get an answer.  Bella again tried to avoid him.  When she said she hated him.  She was blaming him for her feelings changing from Em to Edward.  She's actually hating herself.  Her feelings have been gradually changing towards Edward for a long time now.  She just didn't want to acknowledge it.  Now her guilt has her hating herself and laying the hate and blame on Edward as well.  When Edward kissed her and fondled her in public she responded.  She stopped him because of Em.  She still cares for Em and doesn't want to hurt him.  She's in the middle of them.  She cares for both brothers.  She loved Em, but they have grown and changed.  Her needs and wants have changed.  Also her feelings and love have changed she loves Edward now.  She really loves both but differently.  Her desires are towards Edward.  She knows it will tear the family apart no matter which way she goes.  Edward has known that all along, but he can't hold the love he feels for Bella inside any longer.  It's a fine line they are walking.  That's why Bella's going home for the holidays with the Swans to avoid the Cullens and tension.  She's going to have to make her choice sooner or later.  She can't keep these men in a state of limbo.  Both men know that she has changing feelings towards them.  She needs to come clean and own up to her true feelings and cut one loose and claim one.

 
Reviewer: romancaholic Signed
Date: July 09, 2011 Title: Chapter 23: Chapter 22 - Downward Spiral

In high school Bella and Emmett had a lot in common.  Went to the same school, similar friends, same grade, both revolved around sports, etc... First love for both of them.  Emmett hasn't changed still has same goals, same wants to a degree, just dropped out of school and now working full time.  He wants to settle down and eventually have a family.  Bella on the other hand, has changed drastically from the girl she was in high school.  Her world has opened up, she wants to travel, broaden her horizons, see museums, very career minded geared on further education -- attorney.  Bella is gearing herself to finish up bachelor's than being accepted into a law school to complete law degree/bar exam, etc... Still has a long way to go before she's ready to settle down.  She wants to expand her mind in all ways.  She's not completely content in what was the status quo in high school, she's not that Bella any more, she has new layers, new interests, new goals, new desires, new dreams, etc...  They are new avenues to explore and expand. Emmett doesn't want to change he's happy and content where he's at now.  She still loves and cares for him, but she isn't IN love with him.  All the time she has spent with Edward studying "law" common issue with career choice, common interest in music, activities, events, etc... A lot of the same interest in areas want to expand and explore into as well.  She didn't want to, but with all the time she has spent with him getting to know him she has fallen IN love with Edward.  Bella loves the Cullen family, Esme, Carlisle, and Alice.  She has no intention of wanting to break up the family by coming in between brothers.  But now she knows that Edward returns her feelings.  Bella is being "Torn Between Two Lovers."  An old song of the '80's.  "Loving them both is breaking all the rules." Edward knows about Emmett, but Emmett has no idea about Edward at all.  When he finds out it's going to really shatter him to the core.  It will break the family wide open.  Alice saw it when Edward first saw Bella at the family dinner when they were in high school.  She noticed it the last family dinner.  Alice has noticed how Edward looks at Bella and how Emmett looks at Bella.  She has also noticed how Bella has acted towards both brothers trying not to notice Edward and be semi attentive to Emmett which usually makes him awkward and quiet throughout the entire time.  Bella's a powder key ready to blow at any minute.  Now when she went home crying uncontrollably and Emmett noticed marks on her neck, swollen lips he jumps to conclusion Bella has been distancing herself from him for another guy so his angry just notched up again.  Wait until he learns it's Edward.



Author's Response:

Your reviews are always so inciteful (?) and right on. I love reading them. I am glad you stuck around and waited all this time for an update. I would have been extremely sad to lose you as a reader.

thank you.

 

 

 
Reviewer: romancaholic Signed
Date: July 23, 2011 Title: Chapter 24: Chapter 23- The Truth

Everyone is hurting now.  Emmett, Edward, and Bella. Emmett's feelings of betrayal by Bella of cheating and lies. Edward feelings of longing since first day he met her.  He had tried to avoid her, but couldn't stay away. When he finally decided to make a play knowing she had feelings for him. Edward did make his move and Bella did eventually stop him and left to return to Emmett.  Thus rejecting Edward and hurting him even more.  Bella hurting with her feelings for Edward.  She has fallen in love with him.  She still cares for Emmett and when he's in pain she feels it twofold. She feels his pain and her guilt for causing his pain. She won't reveal the name of the other man she can't it would destroy the brothers. She's in the middle.  She really can't have one without the other brother hurting and causing a rift in the Cullen family.  Another guilt and pain Bella is carrying around on her shoulders.  She tried to reach Edward after she was kicked out of her apartment by Emmett, but he didn't answer his phone.  She called Angela for help.  Angela and Ben took her in for her to think and get out of the cold. Edward returned her call, but only could leave a message.  Bella called him later that evening.  Asked him to come over so they could talk.  Wonder what they will talk about.  Wonder what Edward's reaction will be.  I'm sure he'll be angry about Emmett throwing her out in the cold. Wonder what Emmett will be doing with Bella's things. How will Emmett deal when he realizes the other man in love with Bella is his brother Edward? It'll kill him.  Edward knows about Emmett of course, but Emmett has no idea about Edward.

 
Reviewer: romancaholic Signed
Date: November 03, 2011 Title: Chapter 28: Chapter 27- Betrayed

My heart does go out to Emmett. He's going to be hurt no matter what happens. Bella is heading towards another path which Emmett isn't following. Doesn't matter whether she's in love with someone else or not. They both want different things in life now. Their goals have changed, their dreams are not the same, and there is really no common ground or room to compromise. The fact that the man Bella fell in love with is Edward does hit Emmett with a double whammy. Bella's plan was to avoid both men. Have them both live their own lives without her in it. Bella would rather be miserable than to destroy the Cullen family dynamic. The reason Edward and Bella are together now is because Bella is hurting so much from Emmett's remarks of earlier. In a lot of ways it was Emmett who threw them together constantly. Edward tried very hard to avoid going after Emmett's girl. Living with a girl he had no deep feelings for, his feelings were for Bella from the moment he saw her at his parents. I still think it's awful that Alice is laying all the blame on Bella being the destroyer of the family. She's in the middle. Caring and loving both men only being in love with Edward. Will be interesting to see where Emmett's anger and hurt feelings will take him.

 
Reviewer: romancaholic Signed
Date: November 11, 2011 Title: Chapter 29: Chapter 28- The Bubble

Bella and Edward were in such a state of bliss for an entire day.  Nothing could make it go wrong.  Finally succumbing to the love they share for each other, until it is destroyed by someone at the door.  Who would have thought Esme would arrive at the apartment to talk with Edward.  Bella upon seeing Esme brought back the guilt she had felt about breaking up with Emmett because she had deep feeling for Edward as well as caring feelings for Emmett.  She didn't want to hurt either Edward or Emmett or cause problems in the Cullen family.  After the fight with Emmett, she was upset and when Edward called her she gave into her feelings.  Now her guilt is double-fold since she has given into her feelings.  Especially since Esme now knows.  Of course, Bella doesn't know that the entire Cullen clan already knew about the breakup and the reason.  Esme knew from the first family dinner.  I was proud of Edward for standing up for his feelings about Bella to his mother.  He has just as much rights to his loving feelings about Bella as Emmett does.  He can't help it if he fell for her instantly.  He tried to stay away and forget her.  It just didn't happen.  His feelings got stronger when she came back into his life.  They have more common interests and goals in life.  Emmett and Bella had more differences than common now then in high school.  Growing more apart daily.  More arguing, Emmett quitting school, getting permanent job as mechanic, working long hours, not understanding her grades, etc...  Bella running again from Edward. Both will have their hearts bleeding everywhere. Bella will be wallowing in her guilt again about ruining the family bond in the Cullen household.  Edward will just miss Bella.  Trying to build his relationship with Emmett will be hard for Edward.  Emmett will blame Edward for stealing Bella when it really wasn't that way at all.  Emmett brought Edward into the loop to help Bella with her grades as well as out with the two of them.  Edward did attempt to stay away to respect Emmett and his girlfriend's relationship.  Edward better expect a few head punches along the way from Emmett in the near future.

 
Metro Mornings by ebc2010 Rated: PG-13 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 89]
Summary:


Banner courtesy of the lovely kjxn


Bella Swan works in Washington DC as the deputy communications director for Carlisle Cullen, senator from Washington State. Bella is assigned to a special project, which apparently involves Carlisle’s arrogant son, Edward. In working with Edward, Bella learns to see through appearances in a world where nothing is as it seems and trust a virtual stranger with her life.


Categories: AU-Human Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Charlie, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jacob, James, Jessica, Rosalie
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 10 Completed: No Word count: 20940
[Report This] Published: June 03, 2010 Updated: June 25, 2011


Reviewer: romancaholic Signed
Date: November 24, 2010 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 7

Sounds like Bella and Edward's reaction at the meeting with Victoria has made an enemy of her.  Not happy to lose Edward from her unit while he is protecting Bella who doesn't mean anything to Victoria.  Just someone politically in trouble for snooping into things she shouldn't be into.  Not a good impression, but both Edward and Bella found her attitude and lack of authority since Edward's assignment was authorized above her head without her prior knowledge.  She's been added to the chain as a after thought.  Now neither knows what the rest of their day is going to be like.  looking forward to the next chapters.

 
Reviewer: romancaholic Signed
Date: September 06, 2010 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6

New story plotline.  Enjoying it immensely.  Bella living with Alice, Rose, and Jessica.  With Emmett visiting and staying with Rose frequently.  Only to learn that Emmett is a close friend to Edward.  Definitely small world between them.  Edward's brother is Jasper and he lost a sister to possibly sex trafficking.  Bella lives with an Alice.  Strange.  Alice living with Bella confused.  If standard canon applies Alice will fall for Jasper.  But if that happens she can't be Jasper or Edward's sister since the connection between the two of them would never succeed.  Causing pain in a regularly normal happily ever after.  Bella working for Carlisle who was her doctor.  Seeing her many injuries over the years.  The bond with Bella and the Cullen family is strongly established.  Edward not following what his father expected in the line of profession causing a rift between their relationship.  Guess this is why Bella doesn't know what Edward looks like or even not knowing him at all.  I can understand the questions about Edward all of a sudden living with Bella.  Her roommates would be curious and question Bella all the time about where she was hiding him all this time.  Why after all the years they had been together they never heard about him.  So Bella staying at Edward's was the logical solution since she refused to have a safe house.  But if she wanted her roommates to believe she was on vacation for awhile living above Emmett isn't the way to keep up that farce.  Emmett is sure to see Bella around the place.  Whatever Emmett knows you know Rose will soon know also.  Also Bella is dependable, a planner, not a spur of the moment type of individual so when she will mention to her roommates a surprise vacation at the last minute.  Questions will be asked Bella will be floundering for answers.  Plus she never did call her roommates to let them know she wouldn't be home either.  So when she does talk with them, which I'm surprised that none of them called Bella during the evening, their suspicions will already be raised at her strange and unusual behavior.  Looking forward to additional chapters to see where the story will lead. About the alternate ending would like to have it available to read.  But I'm truly hoping for a very happily ever after ending.

 
From The Ashes by RowanMoon Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 149]
Summary:

Lady with brown hair and long dress, head thrown back. Surrounded by fire

 

 

~Sequel to supernatural AU Broken Doll.~  

MUST READ BROKEN DOLL IN ORDER FOR SEQUEL'S MYTHOLOGY  TO BE UNDERSTOOD

 

Bella rises from the ashes of battle against The Volturi in The Great War as the Three that become One; Powerful witch of the Striga line, a blood descendant of Taha Aki the great Pricolici Shifter, and now, newborn vampire with Edward's venom coursing through her veins.

As our heroine celebrates her family's victory and her marriage to her imprinted mate, an unexpected guest shows up at the wedding who is bent on revenge and making Bella suffer in the worst way imaginable.  

Join Bella as she races against time across continents to save a loved one and fulfill a destiny that she was never prepared for. 

 

 

 

 


Categories: AU Characters: None
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 23 Completed: Yes Word count: 90330
[Report This] Published: June 08, 2010 Updated: September 03, 2014


Reviewer: romancaholic Signed
Date: May 21, 2012 Title: Chapter 12: Chapter 12

Since the change, Bella is about her Edward.  Can't really blame her I think I would be of the same mine too.  He's incredibly delicious to be alone.



Author's Response:

Hey Carol!  Bella is all about Edward - but pretty soon I will have some action thrown their way so it is best that they enjoy the down time while they have it!  Thanks for reviewing and reading!

xo

RowanMoon

 

 
Reviewer: romancaholic Signed
Date: February 12, 2012 Title: Chapter 10: Chapter 10

Definitely getting interesting.  Only two of them left.  Eleazar sold from Sulpicia.  Getting it to Amun.  All to help the Golden Eyed Queen, Bella.  Now Amun has transferred into Ra.  Interesting development.   Lots of strong power will be flying around soon among the three of them.  Going to get very interesting.  Will Eleazar be sent to Bella to make her aware of RA and Sulpicia (The Forsaken) with warning and more information on how to overcome the evilness power.



Author's Response:

Thanks Carol!  I'm turning up the heat and action and quite excited to be doing so.  I've been writing a few hours every morning in an effort to finish this story before spring.  

Eleazar - when I first drafted the story, I wasn't going to feature him very much.  In fact, I'm still on the fence as to how much play he is going to get in the story, but I have a feeling he may just convince me of his usefulness. As a footnote, I also wasn't going to feature Ra beyond chapter 5!  He had other plans, obviously! 

With my renewed fervor in putting the story together I have completely scrapped my original plans, to take it in a completely different and very exciting direction. I have done my homework in egyptian lore and have figured out a way to bastardize it just enough to make it fit with Broken Doll and the twiverse.  LOL!  

I hope you enjoy the rest Carol.  Your reviews, as always are a highlight of my post-posting bliss.  ;)

Mistress Moon

 

 
Reviewer: romancaholic Signed
Date: August 04, 2011 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 8

Edward and Bella finally have their first day together with the family at Denali.  Assigned the eagle nest room.  Edward cannot wait any longer to be with Bella.  The man is beyond control with his lust.  Doesn't take much to have Bella join him.  Spending romantic time with him in the romantic fantasy 4 poster bed.  I didn't like Irina's reaction to Jake and Leah. I thought it was rude.  Especially since Bella has parts of them, vampires, and witch within her.  So it's like she is insulting Bella as well.

 
Reviewer: romancaholic Signed
Date: January 17, 2012 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 9

Pays to be single for a century with nothing to do at night but read everything that you can get your hands on. As a vampire whatever you read stays with you forever.  So when Bella tells Edward what happened with the boat on the river.  Edward remembers studying his ancient history myths/legends and together with the clues given by the mythical god on the boat and the legends were able to piece together at least who and how the creature was created and defeated. Stripped into two entities, one good goddess, the other evil.  The forsaken the evil portion that will be the force she will need to destroy.  Not so easy in her mind.  Edward convinced her she's got back up whenever she needs them.  Cullen family, the wolves, all the vampires freed from the Volturi reign, magic of the witches within herself, all supernatural of the time.  Pretty amazing.  I think Bella and Edward will be giving Emmett and Rosalie some competition in the constantly needing to be together department.  Seems to be all both Edward and Bella are thinking about even as they plan on dressing after a night full of lovemaking to go hunting.  Bella teasing him and promising favors while hunting with her husband.  Oh boy more fun for the two of them.

Wonder how much dye beer it would take to knock her out now and what would take her out completely current day?  Got to be something really big to knock out something that nasty and evil.



Author's Response:

Carol!  Thank you so much for yet another fantastic review.  

I'm thinking it would take a lotta liquor to knock out The Eye Of Ra - current day?  Hopefully Bella!  :)  Right now I am 6 pages in for Chapter 10 with a few more to go.  It's coming along really nicely.  It centers around Eleazar!

Until next time!

xo

Kari

 

 
Reviewer: romancaholic Signed
Date: March 09, 2012 Title: Chapter 11: Chapter 11

Amun Ra continues telling Eleazar the story of his daughters and what happens between them. Very interesting story of how Sulpicia joins with the Volturi brothers with the captured Djinn (Benji.) While Hathor cried and swam to the island all alone.  Only to find that Sulpicia had arrived to confront her father Amun Ra in an effort to regain the stolen Djinn. Amun Ra gave the bottle back to Eleazar and sent him on his way to Isabella.  More information for Bella to absorb and deal with getting ready to defeat the evil one, Sulpicia.  Also interesting origin of vampires, that they were established not as demons, but as mercy for the evil one's destructive nature.  Might make Edward feel differently about his vampiric roots and understand that Carlisle and his way of life has honored the mercy granted by Hathor on the original vampires.



Author's Response:

Hey Carol!  Thanks so much for the review of the chapter.  I'm really glad you enjoyed the backstories I developed for the creation of the vampires and how it ties in with the legend of the Eye of Ra.  Next chapter we finally get back to Edward and Bella!  Blessings to you dear heart.

 

 
Reviewer: romancaholic Signed
Date: October 12, 2010 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3

I truly felt for Santiago having to face Sulpicia with with information her army was totally destroyed.  She appears to be an evil witch like Wicked Witch of the East & West from Wizard of Oz where Glinda the witch from the North was a good witch.  Bella is currently in the process of becoming the Golden Eyed Queen.  3 mythical beings in one. (Witch, Shape Shifters, Vampire).  Vegetarian Vampire.  The information that Eleazar was the one who changed Bella's ancestor and that Alec provided Bella the Scriptures.  Sulpicia speaking an ancient forgotten language built up the fire and stepped into it and disappeared.  Like being transported from her chambers to wherever she wanted to be.  Hopefully the couple within the iceberg has been cracked and Bella has completed her transformation.  Also that she is learning how to be a vegetarian vampire.  Sounds like Bella in her new identity is vulnerable until she locates the Source and how to use it.  In order for her to be able to protect herself and her family.  Too bad Sulpicia can't just let well enough alone.  She has the power to create another Guard of power to control vampires.  Her biggest mistake will be attempting to take over the Cullen Clan again.  Maybe they don't realize her existence or the type of mythical creature she is, but Bella is a fast learner when it comes to her powers.  She has great teacher spirits.  She'll be trained upon finding the Source and understanding the power of being Golden Eyed Queen.  Looking forward to further chapters developing Bella's powers and the evil tormentor creature's plan for dominance over the vampires.



Author's Response:

Thanks Carol!  I'm pleased to see you are getting all I'm laying down for the storyline and such.  Thanks for reading and reviewing so thoroughly!

 

 
Reviewer: romancaholic Signed
Date: November 24, 2010 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5

Don't you hate cryptic messages.  Giving Isabella only limited information.  Making her think on her own as things occur.  It's going to be tough to protect her family from her powers.  At least he gave her something to help when she's around Alice.  So whoever or whatever was on the boat is to blame for the Forsaken.  The evil half of his monster now it falls to Bella to keep it from the Source (Creation).  With little or no information.  What a douche bag?  Giving little to nothing of guidance to proceed.  At least her time has completed of her transformation and he sent her back.  She'll awaken with Mr Gorgeous Edward next to her.  Looking forward to it.



Author's Response:

Bella did get the shaft as far as information goes, but that was more than I expected to give her actually, because I didn't want to reveal too much of plotline itself so the god had to feign "I'm not supposed to interfere or tell you this but..."

I did leave sneaky little clues that give an idea on WHO the god is  - for instance the name of the yacht she was on.  But that is all I'm gonna give ya!!

Thanks for the review Carol.

xo

Mistress Moon

 

 
Reviewer: romancaholic Signed
Date: November 12, 2010 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4

Edward's view of the transformation of Bella while encased in ice.  Their mental essence existing on the in between plane while Bella's body burned within the ice.  The soaring through the in between hearing each others thoughts between Edward and Bella.   Alice in pain while close to them while Bella is being transformed.  Alice's vision of Edward dying.  something is coming Jasper wanted to stop her vision but she needed to continue until she figured out how Edward had gotten ill.  Alice passed out from her visions.  Bella decided to contact the higher beings for answers to these riddled visions.  Edward doesn't want her to do this.  Concerned about the amount of power she is invoking.  While he's watching her suddenly she vanished.  Is this suppose to represent being called up to mount olympus or equivalent for Bella to have a private one on one conversation with the powers that be.  That's why the connection between them severed when Bella disappeared.



Author's Response:

You are definitely on to something Carol.  The conversation that Bella has with the "Powers that Be" is a one on one and private.  Thank you so much for the review!

 

 
Reviewer: romancaholic Signed
Date: January 08, 2011 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6

Edward's feelings of Bella being taken from him in their ice casket.  Worrying if she will return.  Wondering how she would be changed.  When she did return, Alice had no more pain.  Bella was a beauty. With golden eyes and a marvelous tattoo on her back resembling wings in colors to represent flames.  Tattoo sounds lovely.  Will it enable her to be the Phoenix again and reborn.  Edward's love and devotion for Bella.  Upon having her returned to him.  Thank goodness Esme was thinking and brought out a robe for Bella to put on to avoid being on display.  Looking forward to the next chapter with Bella's POV of her return and reunited with her family the Cullens and the love of her life Edward.



Author's Response:

I'm looking forward to the next chapter too...having it finished that is!  LOL!   Thank you so much Carol for the summation of the chapter and the review!  

Kindest regards,

Mistress Moon

 
Reviewer: romancaholic Signed
Date: August 11, 2010 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Great coming from Xandru's POV.  Learning how to remain true to his Striga roots and his means to fulfill his ancestors legacy.  How to disguise his loyalty to the old ways and to train the new Queen once discovered.  Eleazar revealed all the information prior to change, during change, and also after his complete change to vampire.  He was taught skills to hide among the evil of the Volturi Guard.  Actually excitement and anticipation of his descendent's arrival to avenge his mother, cousins, and the coven of the Striga.  He withheld information from Bella regarding the reaction of Aro's wife upon the Guard's destruction. Something that will definitely be useful once she's changed into the Golden Eyed Queen.  Her transformation occurring upon completion of the destructive flames to the entire Guard including his ancestors of Ioane and Xandru (Jane and Alec.)  Hoping Eleazar will also be there to help her along with the combination of all three of her powers now that she will be Moroi, Pricolici, and Striga.  Also informing her of the Cullen coven and La Push wolves next threat so they all will be prepared for their next battle to succeed and have her remain the Queen of Striga. Looking forward for the next element to overwhelm Bella and her loved ones.



Author's Response:

Wow!  What a detailed review!  Thank you so much Carol! 

When I started this piece in Xandru's POV it was going to be an outtake for Broken Doll....then the sequel emerged, Bella awoke and began talking to me again.  Eleazar was also a new voice for me.  You will see him again in chapter 4.  I'm hoping to tie up chapters2&3 in the next couple of weeks....I've actually been writing them both at the same time while frantically henscratching notes for future chapters.  LOL!  My writing process is a tad sporadic and very messy,

Kindeest Regards,

RowanMoon

 
Reviewer: romancaholic Signed
Date: September 21, 2010 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2

Transition encased in ice.  Bella and Edward drifting from the In Between Plane and the Earthly Plane.  Instead of fire, it's electrically shocking and icy numbness.  the Cullens have brought their ice fortress to a vehicle heading to Denali.  No one even Bella is not sure what she will become once the transformation to vampire has been completed.  She will be all three the witch, shiftshaper, and vampire.  A power above every other power in the supernatural realm.  Bella was concerned about both of her families and how they fared after the battle.  Leah at least relayed the information that all the wolves made it through the battle.  All their wounds has since healed.  Edward was able to reach her within the fire to start Bella's change.  Bella encased them in ice pretty cool (ha ha).  At least being able to mental move from her body and be with Edward.  What better way to be together on both planes and deal with the change through loving and passion too.  Looking forward to the following chapters.  Thoroughly enjoyed The Broken Doll.  Looking forward to the sequel and new adventures.



Author's Response:

Thanks Carol for the detailed review!  I really appreciate you wanting to continue with where I left off with Broken Doll, and that you take the time to leave me a review, truly makes me feel validated.

I hope the readership picks up...I'm sure they are just waiting for me to get a few chapters ahead before they jump on board...so I profoundly appreciate you jumping right in and taking the ride with me as a write it.

Many twists and turns to come.  Chapter 3 is being edited this week and submitted for validation, so it should be posted in the next few weeks!

Thanks again!

 

 
Reviewer: romancaholic Signed
Date: May 01, 2011 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 7

Now that Bella has returned it's just learning about her new vampiric appearance and powers.  Seeing auras, being able to pull powers from mother earth.  Her eyes being different from the Cullens more like the werewolves.  Everyone noticing her new firebird tatoo on her back.  Everyone's going hunting to determine if Bella will hunt animals or will need to live off of Edward's venom.  Or if that s come kinky lover's thing.

 
Summary:

M(I)BF


When Bella returned to Forks it wasn't only because her mother wanted to travel, but because her father was dying. She took care of him while she finished highschool, and fell madly in love with Edward Cullen. After her graduation, she was shortly married and returned home with child after her honeymoon, only to have one last night with her father. Bella was left with all her father had owned, including the deed to a boarding house in the town their family originated from, Eyphah, and decides to reopen it. Five years later the renovations are done, repairs made, and Bella's family has moved in. Little did she know, however, that the house held a dark past that wasn't quiet ready to let go, and neither are the past residents.


What happens when one of the unfriendly roommates bond with their young daughter?


 


In Hebrew, the name Eyphah means "darkness" or "gloomy"


Categories: Post-Breaking Dawn, AU Characters: Bella, Edward, Emmett, Jacob, Other Character, Renesmee
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 18 Completed: No Word count: 25122
[Report This] Published: June 21, 2010 Updated: January 07, 2013


Reviewer: romancaholic Signed
Date: January 07, 2013 Title: Chapter 18: Trouble

If Bella didn't give her the necklace, then how? Why would sh lie about it? Is she beng possessed? Having weekend time with her isn't going to help. Either need to leave the place or exorcise all the spirits.



Author's Response:

Dear little Renesmee is exhibiting the signs of a troulbed child thanks to the company she's been keeping :) so, she stole it. All will be explained shortly. And no, it's not going to help...

 
Summary:

 

SIML Banner

Bella's bad luck has landed her in Chicago for a business trip, with no luggage and no hotel room. Her co-worker, Edward, steps in to help! Her luck is about to change. AH. Canon pairings.


Categories: AU-Human Characters: Bella, Edward
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 17 Completed: No Word count: 70922
[Report This] Published: June 22, 2010 Updated: December 06, 2011


Reviewer: romancaholic Signed
Date: January 10, 2011 Title: Chapter 10: Chapter 10

Delightful dancing together.  Romantic and very sensual creating the mood for later.  Bella rubbing him in the car was too much.  Edward so over worked he ran a stop sign.  Just lucky they didn't have a car accident.  Edward had his own plans for the end of the evening with Bella.  He definitely pleased her throughout the entire day.  I bet they both slept well that night.  Spending their last day alone before rejoining the work force.  Glad they expressed their true feelings for each other.  Both falling in love at first sight with the coffee spilling over them both. How long will it be before everyone in the office knows about them being together?

 



Author's Response: Work will come, as will difficulties but we have to trust that our Edward and Bella will be okay ;)

 
Reviewer: romancaholic Signed
Date: September 04, 2011 Title: Chapter 15: Chapter 15

It's too bad that Bella didn't realize that she was making the wrong decision earlier.  Then she wouldn't have had to go through all the pain of parting.  Even if the pregnant woman has to say good-bye to her husband while he is fighting for his country, she does know he is hers and if things go right he will return to her and pending baby.  They already belong to each other.  The permanent commitment has been made to each other.  Where Bella has refused to make that commitment to Edward.  The woman at the airport has moved with her husband as she can. By Bella taking out her suitcase to find the last post-it note and airline ticket it must mean she planned on started to pack to reach him.  Now she has a ticket to Chicago.  She has no excuse not to pack and get her fanny on a plane and be with Edward so they both could be happy.



Author's Response: You are way to perceptive for your own good :P Working on the next chapter! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

 




Share/Save/Bookmark


© 2008, 2009 Twilighted Enterprises, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Unauthorized duplication is a violation of applicable laws.
Privacy Policy | Terms of Service

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the intellectual property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.