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Penname: EliseShaw [Contact]
Real name: Elise Shaw
Status: Member
Member Since: June 01, 2009
Website:
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Reviews by EliseShaw
 
Summary:

Edward is a teenage boy who finds his life instantly changed when his family moves to Forks, WA.  He is intensely drawn to the mysterious girl in his biology class whose mind he discovers he can read.  It doesn’t take long for him to find the truth behind her dark and painful secret but it is already too late “ his life is forever altered by his intense physical and emotional connection to the beautiful girl.   

 Innocent Heart of Darkness Banner 

My excellent banner by the talented m81170

 

My incredible new banner by BeanFlikn247.  This is her first banner!  Isn't it great?


Categories: AU Characters: Bella, Edward
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 34 Completed: Yes Word count: 120460
[Report This] Published: September 22, 2009 Updated: December 23, 2010


Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: December 29, 2009 Title: Chapter 11: Chapter 11

Absolutely loved it! I thought this was one of your very best chapters, and I've enjoyed all of them. The changing you showed is what I thought would be very typical for many, a vampire seeing someone they found attractive and deciding to change them out of lust. I'm interested to see how Bella got away from James eventually.



Author's Response:

Thank you so much!  I wrote and rewrote this chapter many times to try and get it just right.  Each time it kind of evolved and took on a life of its own.  Of course there will be more explanation in the next few chapters and also a bit more of James and his motivation.  As always, I appreciate your support!  Your reviews are more meaningful to me than you can imagine!

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: February 03, 2010 Title: Chapter 13: Chapter 13

What a cliffhanger! Yes, I absolutely must know what they are going to do in the bedroom! Beautiful imagery in this chapter. I particularly loved the line about the slug and the decaying leaf.



Author's Response:

Thank you so much Elise!  I am glad that you enjoyed this chapter.  I was trying to evoke a certain tone here, so that the scenery somewhat mirrored Edward's somber melancholy.  His life just isn't exciting or interesting for him anymore without Bella. 

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: February 21, 2010 Title: Chapter 14: Chapter 14

Wonderfully done! It was beautiful and conflicted and oh so sensual!



Author's Response:

I was going for sensual!  Thank you, Elise!

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: February 27, 2010 Title: Chapter 15: Chapter 15

Wow, interesting twist! I can't wait to hear more about her past. I also liked the twist that in this one, poor Bella can't blush :-).



Author's Response:

I kind of love that Bella in my story is so completely different from SM's Bella!  Not only can't she blush (like she does every few seconds in Twilight) but she is strong and graceful, where SM's Bella is klutzy and fragile.  It's amazing how she can be so different from the Bella we all fell in love with and still be so interesting and such a great character to write.  As always thank you for the thoughtful comments.  

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: March 13, 2010 Title: Chapter 16: Chapter 16

I loved this chapter, both Bella's revelations about her past and finally allowing Edward to comfort her, but also the closeness you describe between Edward and Esme. I know several guys who felt very close with their mothers even during those awkward years and I think it lends a sweetness to his character. Nicely done!



Author's Response:

Thank you Elise.  I really always liked the boys who were close to their mothers - they are the more sensitive types (which is how I see my Edward.)  And in my story, Edward is mostly influenced by Esme as she is also an accomplished musician.  We will see this relationship explored even more in the next chapter.  I'll be interested to know what you think of my portrayal of Esme. Thank you, as always, for your thoughtful reviews.

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: April 18, 2010 Title: Chapter 19: Chapter 19

Whew! Gotta catch my breath after that little dose of naked Jacob :-). Great job!



Author's Response:

Glad to oblige!  Thank you for the review Elise!

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: June 05, 2010 Title: Chapter 23: Chapter 23

Well I never would have guessed Jacob would save him :-)! Wonderful chapter and I can't wait for Bella's return!



Author's Response:

Thank you Elise! 

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: June 20, 2010 Title: Chapter 24: Chapter 24

Very nice job! The lemon was well done and I liked the fact that you included not only the specific details of what they were doing, but also the emotional effect on it for Edward afterwards... much more effective than one without the other!



Author's Response:

Thank you so much Elise!  I always appreciate your thoughtful reviews!  I am a fairly emotional person and I can't seem to write without pouring all my feelings into each scene.  I think some stories, though enjoyable, seem a little empty without this element.

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: June 24, 2010 Title: Chapter 25: Chapter 25

Interesting! I love all the shifts in this and find it fascinating to think that Edward's blood is so tempting because he had captured Bella's heart.



Author's Response:

Thank you Elise - I'm glad that I still have you interested!

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: July 10, 2010 Title: Chapter 26: Chapter 26

"As I stood on the front porch alone, my mind wove dark daydreams; the limbs of the trees were the devil’s arms, tantalizing me, tempting me with their mysterious touch and enslaving me in their sticky web."

Every time I read one of your chapters I am reminded of what a gift you have with words. The poetry in this sentence is simply beautiful.

I think my favorite part of the chapter was Tanya's history with Anders. I appreciate the way that you gave her character depth and it was a lovely, but sad glimpse into her past.



Author's Response:

Your praise always means so much to me!  You are such a poetic writer yourself!  I think the admiration is mutual!  Thank you so much.

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: July 22, 2010 Title: Chapter 27: Chapter 27

I wanted to cry in this chapter. You did such a beautiful and believable job with Bella's history and her brief reunion with Charlie before his heart gave out. I thought the twist on Victoria and James was clever... there's so much mystery surrounding those two and their motivations that it's always fascinating to read what people come up with.



Author's Response:

I'm so glad that you liked how I spun Bella's - as well as James and Victoria's - histories.  I didn't deliberately attempt to make them so entirely disparate from the original, but the warped backstory seemed to just fit with this version of the tale.  I really do enjoy imagining Victoria in this way, and James as her bumbling pawn was just too delicious to resist.

Thank you so much for your review.  I always relish your thoughts.

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: August 02, 2010 Title: Chapter 28: Chapter 28

Yup, over 100 here today... whew! This chapter was a bit steamy as well... seeing Bella's desires was quite the turn on for dear Mr. Edward :-).



Author's Response:

Thanks Elise!  Here's wishing you a break in the hot weather!  Ugh - 100 degrees - that's hot!

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: August 13, 2010 Title: Chapter 29: Chapter 29

What a cliffhanger :-). Hmmm, I'm guessing it's the nomads, but admittedly I'm already influenced by the Saga :-). Clever way for Edward's family to first start getting suspicious that something is wrong. I can't wait to see what happens.



Author's Response:

Hi Elise!  Yes, I seem to be falling into the trap of springing the evil cliffhanger at the end of each chapter!  I hope it doesn't seem like a cheap way to encourage readers to stick with me!  As always, I so appreciate your support of this story! 

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: August 27, 2010 Title: Chapter 30: Chapter 30

Lovely chapter with so much action in it! I've always thought chapters get harder to write as the story gets further along, so I think you're doing marvelously!

I especially liked the moments where Edward went to his piano. Using it to express what he wasn't ready to think or feel or verbalize was very Edward in my mind.



Author's Response:

Thank you Elise!  I am getting a little worn out and stretched a little thin here at the end of the story.  I'm writing two stories at once, and I'm finding that I'm not quite as much as a superwoman as I thought.  I love challenges, but I'm beginning to regret the commitment.  And yet, I feel very dedicated to both stories and in ensuring that I maintain my energy and creativity as this story progresses to to its inevitable end. 

 

 
Summary:

Written for the Darkward Contest. Set in the early 1920’s. Edward
is a young vampire trying to find his purpose. In an attempt to find his way,
he joins Chicago's most notorious gang: The Chicago Outfit. Rated M for
Violence and Lemon's

The Chicago Outfit


Categories: Pre-Twilight Characters: Bella, Carlisle, Charlie, Edward, Esme
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 16213
[Report This] Published: September 25, 2009 Updated: October 15, 2009


Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: October 16, 2009 Title: Chapter 1: Rebirth

This was very well done!



Author's Response:

Thank you so much for your review!

 
Summary:

 

 

 

 

 

We all believe that Edward and Bella are meant to be together...but what if there’s more to that than meets the eye?

 

What if there are forces at work that they don’t understand? How will they cope with events that have no discernable meaning?

 

This story starts out two weeks before Bella and Edward’s wedding. But, right away, things go wrong. They struggle with mishap after mishap, all the while wondering if they’re destined to be at the center of conflict and angst.

 

All the major characters of Twilight appear. Canon couples. Lemons in various chapters. This is a more realistic view of Edward and Bella’s relationship before the wedding. He certainly wouldn’t carry her off to a desert island alone, having never even touched her. They would have experimented a bit.

 

Eventually all characters get their Happily Ever After. I just drag them through hell before we get there. No characters die before their time.

 

And I’ve adhered to canon up until the story starts—Post Eclipse. After that, it diverges from SM’s version. So...no Renesmee. No pregnancy.

 

I’ve poured my heart and soul into this story. It took me over a year to complete. I thought about it constantly. For that hard work and diligence to form, grammar and style, I’d like just one tiny thing from you, the reader.

 

I’d like a review. If you love it, if you hate it, if you’re just indifferent and will never look at it again, I’d like to hear that. It’s not a lot to ask. So...I’ll say thanks in advance for the wonderful reviews you’ll leave after you read each chapter!

 

Maria

twilight gypsy

 

  


Categories: Post-Eclipse Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Charlie, Edward, Embry, Emmett, Esme, Jacob, Jared, Jasper, Paul, Quil, Renee, Rosalie, Sam, Seth
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 45 Completed: Yes Word count: 178339
[Report This] Published: October 01, 2009 Updated: November 28, 2010


Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: September 13, 2010 Title: Chapter 29: Change in the Weather

Maria, I'm truly enjoying these chapters as Bella's change looms closer. You've done a wonderful job of weaving in the emotional side of things as Bella grows closer to all of them with the excitement of the novel medical condition!



Author's Response:

Thanks so much! I so look forward to your reviews!

Maria

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: November 22, 2009 Title: Chapter 4: Help!

The imagery in this chapter was excellent. I truly enjoyed the way you took Bella to the brink of sanity and back. Many times authors can't pull that off very well, but I thought your take on it felt very authentic.

Hmmm, Edward and the menstrual blood. I mean, to ME as a human that sounds somewhat distasteful, but Edward is a vampire. HE would really have to find that sexy and delicious if you're staying with traditional vampire canon. I have certainly written Carlisle and Esme doing things that others have considered distasteful and it wouldn't stop me from reading the chapter. I always appreciate when authors make the hard choice that others may not like in order to tell an honest story. Really, rape is the only thing that I just can't read.

Hmmm, I have so many favorite fics, but I guess I would choose "All Those Left Behind" by Luckynumbers. Hers is outstanding and deserves many more reviews than it currently has.



Author's Response:

Thank you so much for reading and for your great review! I appreciate your frank comments. I have gotten positive feedback about the blood chapter so I think I'll go with it. My Beta won't like it, though!

I just read a fic called 'Open to Interpretation' about RP taking up with his older interpereter. They travel to Italy and the scenery is fantastic. I will read your recommendation when I can find one spare minute.

Do you have any ideas about what to call the blood chapter? What were your fav lines from the chapter?

Thanks!

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: March 11, 2010 Title: Chapter 19: Do You Want to Know a Secret

I love this... it's so much more vampire-y than others!

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: March 11, 2010 Title: Chapter 18: Pink Cadillac

I love the way you end chapters with a bang!

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: March 11, 2010 Title: Chapter 17: The Return of the Grievous Angel

I love the building suspense as Bella slowly begins to transform. You're doing a great job of showing us tiny details... the pain in her leg increasing and her tastes changing where she notices the preservatives and chemicals in the water. Brilliant!



Author's Response:

This great review means alot coming from you! I really appreciate it~

Maria

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: November 29, 2009 Title: Chapter 5: Run For Your Life

Great chapter! I think what's most intriguing for me in your story right now, is the question of whether or not Edward's actions in drinking from the dying human were excusable. On the one hand, there was no way he could be saved, so Edward certainly didn't take a life. In that respect it's even less questionable than what he did during his rebellious years. On the other, will it make his control any weaker now that he's drank? Isn't that the argument with Jasper? I love that conflict in this.

This is super, I always love a story that makes me think!



Author's Response:

Thank you so much for continuing to read and review! I love you! Well, Bella of course doesn't care about the act, she is only concerned with how Edward feels about it. But Edward is trying to tell himself he doesn't feel guilty, but the repercussions of this act follow him. Will he be able to get through the honeymoon with Bella, far from home, without biting her? Will he ever be able to have sex with her where his face is close to her neck? And does he even try? Hmmm.

Thanks Again!

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: August 10, 2010 Title: Chapter 28: Dreadful Wind and Rain

That was an unexpected twist!



Author's Response:

Thanks for your review! I always love to see your name in the review field!

Maria

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: August 10, 2010 Title: Chapter 27: It's a Hard Life

I bow to your talent in writing this night between the two of them! Just the right amount of detail to convey both feeling and sensuality.



Author's Response:

Thanks so much! I always remember your intimate scenes between C & E. Just the right amount of skin, if you know what I mean. It's difficult to find just the right balance between sex and sensuality!

Maria

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: January 10, 2010 Title: Chapter 11: When You're Alone

Outstanding! I love seeing a Bella who has a spine for once! I also thought it was hilarious when the old lady wouldn't give up Bella's location and Alice was like, "No, not kill her, look for her..."

Tee hee!



Author's Response:

Now this was the controversial chapter! The Edward lovers were out in force, pissed as hell. HOW DARE YOU HAVE BELLA THREATEN HIM WHEN IT WAS ALL HER FAULT. Then, the feminists had their say. GO BELLA IT IS ABOUT TIME SHE STOOD UP FOR HERSELF. And I fear almost everyone missed the point I was trying to make, which was how ironic it was for Bella to say she understood him at last, and then blames him for being what he is.

They make up next chapter. in that small motel room...

Thank you so much for reading! Is No Longer Alone your first fic? your first attempt? You write so beautifully.

Maria

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: January 10, 2010 Title: Chapter 10: The Danger Zone

Excellent, I love the suspense and especially the ending!



Author's Response:

Thank you so much for continuing to read and review! I found out how to get reviews. Just write a controversial chapter, like the next one. I appreciate your kind comments!

Maria

 




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