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Penname: EliseShaw [Contact]
Real name: Elise Shaw
Status: Member
Member Since: June 01, 2009
Website:
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Reviews by EliseShaw
 
Summary:

Edward is a teenage boy who finds his life instantly changed when his family moves to Forks, WA.  He is intensely drawn to the mysterious girl in his biology class whose mind he discovers he can read.  It doesn’t take long for him to find the truth behind her dark and painful secret but it is already too late “ his life is forever altered by his intense physical and emotional connection to the beautiful girl.   

 Innocent Heart of Darkness Banner 

My excellent banner by the talented m81170

 

My incredible new banner by BeanFlikn247.  This is her first banner!  Isn't it great?


Categories: AU Characters: Bella, Edward
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 34 Completed: Yes Word count: 120460
[Report This] Published: September 22, 2009 Updated: December 23, 2010


Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: July 22, 2010 Title: Chapter 27: Chapter 27

I wanted to cry in this chapter. You did such a beautiful and believable job with Bella's history and her brief reunion with Charlie before his heart gave out. I thought the twist on Victoria and James was clever... there's so much mystery surrounding those two and their motivations that it's always fascinating to read what people come up with.



Author's Response:

I'm so glad that you liked how I spun Bella's - as well as James and Victoria's - histories.  I didn't deliberately attempt to make them so entirely disparate from the original, but the warped backstory seemed to just fit with this version of the tale.  I really do enjoy imagining Victoria in this way, and James as her bumbling pawn was just too delicious to resist.

Thank you so much for your review.  I always relish your thoughts.

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: August 02, 2010 Title: Chapter 28: Chapter 28

Yup, over 100 here today... whew! This chapter was a bit steamy as well... seeing Bella's desires was quite the turn on for dear Mr. Edward :-).



Author's Response:

Thanks Elise!  Here's wishing you a break in the hot weather!  Ugh - 100 degrees - that's hot!

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: August 13, 2010 Title: Chapter 29: Chapter 29

What a cliffhanger :-). Hmmm, I'm guessing it's the nomads, but admittedly I'm already influenced by the Saga :-). Clever way for Edward's family to first start getting suspicious that something is wrong. I can't wait to see what happens.



Author's Response:

Hi Elise!  Yes, I seem to be falling into the trap of springing the evil cliffhanger at the end of each chapter!  I hope it doesn't seem like a cheap way to encourage readers to stick with me!  As always, I so appreciate your support of this story! 

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: August 27, 2010 Title: Chapter 30: Chapter 30

Lovely chapter with so much action in it! I've always thought chapters get harder to write as the story gets further along, so I think you're doing marvelously!

I especially liked the moments where Edward went to his piano. Using it to express what he wasn't ready to think or feel or verbalize was very Edward in my mind.



Author's Response:

Thank you Elise!  I am getting a little worn out and stretched a little thin here at the end of the story.  I'm writing two stories at once, and I'm finding that I'm not quite as much as a superwoman as I thought.  I love challenges, but I'm beginning to regret the commitment.  And yet, I feel very dedicated to both stories and in ensuring that I maintain my energy and creativity as this story progresses to to its inevitable end. 

 

 
Summary:

Written for the Darkward Contest. Set in the early 1920’s. Edward
is a young vampire trying to find his purpose. In an attempt to find his way,
he joins Chicago's most notorious gang: The Chicago Outfit. Rated M for
Violence and Lemon's

The Chicago Outfit


Categories: Pre-Twilight Characters: Bella, Carlisle, Charlie, Edward, Esme
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 16213
[Report This] Published: September 25, 2009 Updated: October 15, 2009


Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: October 16, 2009 Title: Chapter 1: Rebirth

This was very well done!



Author's Response:

Thank you so much for your review!

 
Summary:

 

 

 

 

 

We all believe that Edward and Bella are meant to be together...but what if there’s more to that than meets the eye?

 

What if there are forces at work that they don’t understand? How will they cope with events that have no discernable meaning?

 

This story starts out two weeks before Bella and Edward’s wedding. But, right away, things go wrong. They struggle with mishap after mishap, all the while wondering if they’re destined to be at the center of conflict and angst.

 

All the major characters of Twilight appear. Canon couples. Lemons in various chapters. This is a more realistic view of Edward and Bella’s relationship before the wedding. He certainly wouldn’t carry her off to a desert island alone, having never even touched her. They would have experimented a bit.

 

Eventually all characters get their Happily Ever After. I just drag them through hell before we get there. No characters die before their time.

 

And I’ve adhered to canon up until the story starts—Post Eclipse. After that, it diverges from SM’s version. So...no Renesmee. No pregnancy.

 

I’ve poured my heart and soul into this story. It took me over a year to complete. I thought about it constantly. For that hard work and diligence to form, grammar and style, I’d like just one tiny thing from you, the reader.

 

I’d like a review. If you love it, if you hate it, if you’re just indifferent and will never look at it again, I’d like to hear that. It’s not a lot to ask. So...I’ll say thanks in advance for the wonderful reviews you’ll leave after you read each chapter!

 

Maria

twilight gypsy

 

  


Categories: Post-Eclipse Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Charlie, Edward, Embry, Emmett, Esme, Jacob, Jared, Jasper, Paul, Quil, Renee, Rosalie, Sam, Seth
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 45 Completed: Yes Word count: 178339
[Report This] Published: October 01, 2009 Updated: November 28, 2010


Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: September 13, 2010 Title: Chapter 29: Change in the Weather

Maria, I'm truly enjoying these chapters as Bella's change looms closer. You've done a wonderful job of weaving in the emotional side of things as Bella grows closer to all of them with the excitement of the novel medical condition!



Author's Response:

Thanks so much! I so look forward to your reviews!

Maria

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: November 22, 2009 Title: Chapter 4: Help!

The imagery in this chapter was excellent. I truly enjoyed the way you took Bella to the brink of sanity and back. Many times authors can't pull that off very well, but I thought your take on it felt very authentic.

Hmmm, Edward and the menstrual blood. I mean, to ME as a human that sounds somewhat distasteful, but Edward is a vampire. HE would really have to find that sexy and delicious if you're staying with traditional vampire canon. I have certainly written Carlisle and Esme doing things that others have considered distasteful and it wouldn't stop me from reading the chapter. I always appreciate when authors make the hard choice that others may not like in order to tell an honest story. Really, rape is the only thing that I just can't read.

Hmmm, I have so many favorite fics, but I guess I would choose "All Those Left Behind" by Luckynumbers. Hers is outstanding and deserves many more reviews than it currently has.



Author's Response:

Thank you so much for reading and for your great review! I appreciate your frank comments. I have gotten positive feedback about the blood chapter so I think I'll go with it. My Beta won't like it, though!

I just read a fic called 'Open to Interpretation' about RP taking up with his older interpereter. They travel to Italy and the scenery is fantastic. I will read your recommendation when I can find one spare minute.

Do you have any ideas about what to call the blood chapter? What were your fav lines from the chapter?

Thanks!

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: March 11, 2010 Title: Chapter 19: Do You Want to Know a Secret

I love this... it's so much more vampire-y than others!

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: March 11, 2010 Title: Chapter 18: Pink Cadillac

I love the way you end chapters with a bang!

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: March 11, 2010 Title: Chapter 17: The Return of the Grievous Angel

I love the building suspense as Bella slowly begins to transform. You're doing a great job of showing us tiny details... the pain in her leg increasing and her tastes changing where she notices the preservatives and chemicals in the water. Brilliant!



Author's Response:

This great review means alot coming from you! I really appreciate it~

Maria

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: November 29, 2009 Title: Chapter 5: Run For Your Life

Great chapter! I think what's most intriguing for me in your story right now, is the question of whether or not Edward's actions in drinking from the dying human were excusable. On the one hand, there was no way he could be saved, so Edward certainly didn't take a life. In that respect it's even less questionable than what he did during his rebellious years. On the other, will it make his control any weaker now that he's drank? Isn't that the argument with Jasper? I love that conflict in this.

This is super, I always love a story that makes me think!



Author's Response:

Thank you so much for continuing to read and review! I love you! Well, Bella of course doesn't care about the act, she is only concerned with how Edward feels about it. But Edward is trying to tell himself he doesn't feel guilty, but the repercussions of this act follow him. Will he be able to get through the honeymoon with Bella, far from home, without biting her? Will he ever be able to have sex with her where his face is close to her neck? And does he even try? Hmmm.

Thanks Again!

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: August 10, 2010 Title: Chapter 28: Dreadful Wind and Rain

That was an unexpected twist!



Author's Response:

Thanks for your review! I always love to see your name in the review field!

Maria

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: August 10, 2010 Title: Chapter 27: It's a Hard Life

I bow to your talent in writing this night between the two of them! Just the right amount of detail to convey both feeling and sensuality.



Author's Response:

Thanks so much! I always remember your intimate scenes between C & E. Just the right amount of skin, if you know what I mean. It's difficult to find just the right balance between sex and sensuality!

Maria

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: January 10, 2010 Title: Chapter 11: When You're Alone

Outstanding! I love seeing a Bella who has a spine for once! I also thought it was hilarious when the old lady wouldn't give up Bella's location and Alice was like, "No, not kill her, look for her..."

Tee hee!



Author's Response:

Now this was the controversial chapter! The Edward lovers were out in force, pissed as hell. HOW DARE YOU HAVE BELLA THREATEN HIM WHEN IT WAS ALL HER FAULT. Then, the feminists had their say. GO BELLA IT IS ABOUT TIME SHE STOOD UP FOR HERSELF. And I fear almost everyone missed the point I was trying to make, which was how ironic it was for Bella to say she understood him at last, and then blames him for being what he is.

They make up next chapter. in that small motel room...

Thank you so much for reading! Is No Longer Alone your first fic? your first attempt? You write so beautifully.

Maria

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: January 10, 2010 Title: Chapter 10: The Danger Zone

Excellent, I love the suspense and especially the ending!



Author's Response:

Thank you so much for continuing to read and review! I found out how to get reviews. Just write a controversial chapter, like the next one. I appreciate your kind comments!

Maria

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: November 01, 2009 Title: Chapter 1: A Hard Day's Night

Wow, great job! I can't believe this is your first story, it's superb!

I liked how funny you were. The image of Edward in the forest deciding that he didn't want to hear Emmett's play by play of his lovemaking skills was freaking hilarious!



Author's Response:

Thank you so much for reading and for that great review! I dreamed that sequence with Emmett, and in my dream it was just that - hilarious. Them upstairs doing it, or trying to, Emmett downstairs replaying it for the whole family. Doesn't make much sense, as they could all hear it as well, but Emmett's take on it was great. I am glad that you found it funny. Ch 3 uploaded last night, maybe it will be validated soon. Did you know that you can highlight portions of text, copy and paste in the review section? That's what I always do. THANKS AGAIN!

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: November 01, 2009 Title: Chapter 2: Human Touch

Such a good job at characterizing Edward's conflict in all of this. He wants her but he wants to do the right thing. His instincts beg him to take what is being offered but he's so scared to lose control. You handle the sexual tension beautifully!

I love this! Adding it to my alerts!



Author's Response:

Thank you SO MUCH for reading and for your kind review. I wanted a story that was a little bit different, not just the same old thing! CH 3 uploaded last night, maybe validated soon! THANK YOU!

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed
Date: November 01, 2009 Title: Chapter 3: With a Little Help From My Friends

Wow that was really dark, but it was well done. I was terrified at the beginning of the chapter that Edward was going to force himself upon her, but it seems like (correct me if I'm wrong), that was the vampire side of him talking, not the "Edward" we know and love. You did a nice job of writing his self-loathing afterwards.



Author's Response:

I am stunned again. I have been answering reviews telling readers that ch 3 was uploaded last night, and here it is on the site! My Beta is so fast!

yes, you are correct. The human blood just makes him crazy, aggressive. and when she offers her blood, he just loses it. But he is a vampire, no? He tried to tell her, numerous times, that he was dangerous. Now she knows. Thank you so much for reading and for your thoughtful review! This is my first effort!

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: December 13, 2009 Title: Chapter 6: Tell Me Why

Excellent job with this chapter! Sorry it's taken me a few days to review... I've been so busy at work and I always try to wait until I really have a chance to do so thoroughly.

This was excellent, all the details and the conversation with the rest of the family. I love the way you inserted some of Edward's dry wit into the humorous moments and the circumventing of Alice's visions was nicely played out.



Author's Response:

Thank you so much for continuing to read and review! I really appreciate it. I have ch 7 ready to upload. I'm writing and I can't shut up!

Did you like the bit with Emmett? I think he is so funny.

Thanks Again!

Maria

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: December 21, 2009 Title: Chapter 7: Brilliant Disguise

My favorite part was when Edward described his rebellious years, I thought you did an especially fine job with that :-).

Love your story!

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: January 04, 2010 Title: Chapter 8: Fantasy

Ai yi yi! At first I was going to say my favorite part was when they got way too much Italian food (very funny!) but Edward taking care of himself took the cake for sure!



Author's Response:

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! Somebody actually reviewed and said it reminded them of somehting similar that had happened to them...people will say the darndest things! I was so trying not to imagine her boyfriend (or somebody elses) at her bedroom window...

It's not my fav. chapter, though. I like Revelation in EMajor much better. But that's me. Your fav. line or lines? You know I am going to ask, right!?

Thanks

Maria

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: January 10, 2010 Title: Chapter 9: Misery

Damn, that was the sexiest chapter yet! I LOVED that you took a little side step into Emmett and Rosalie :-), and Edward's sarcastic thoughts were quite a treat!



Author's Response:

Thank you so much for reading, Elise! I am enjoying your story so much! I love the awkwardness between Esme and Carlisle, and Edward going slowly crazy...

I appreciate your kind comments. Emmett and Rose, what can I say...

Maria

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: January 18, 2010 Title: Chapter 12: Bring on the Wonder

I absolutely loved the use of the cat and bird outside of Bella's window. What an effective way to get across the point Edward has been shouting all along, that he truly is a killer and that Bella is signing up for a lifetime, or an eternity, rather, of being one too.

The lemons were, of course, incredibly juicy, and I love Edward's attitude when talking about "his gypsy" or bemoaning the fact that Alice picks out all his clothes, down to the boxers. Very Edward.

I have no idea what you've done with him blacking out, but I can't wait to find out. Excellent work!

 



Author's Response:

Thank you so much, Elise! High praise from another author. I had a reviewer earlier, she said she and I read the same fics, as she was in love with your story as well!

I wanted her to see a larger animal in the hunt, but I couldn;t get her to that place in this chapter. Bird and cat seemed kind of tame to me until I thought how I would feel if I saw it outside my window. Kind of primal.

Those lemons are hard to squeeze! I have trouble with them. I can imagine them just fine, thank you very much, but when it comes time to write them...difficult to make them not trite or loaded with cliches.

Thanks again, love your comments.

Maria

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: January 28, 2010 Title: Chapter 13: Inevitable

Aww, I had picked the kissing at the beginning of the chapter as my favorite part, but then Edward left the money for the lady at the motel and my heart just melted. So touching, sweet and perfectly Edward!

 
Reviewer: EliseShaw Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: February 28, 2010 Title: Chapter 14: Behind the Wall of Sleep

Ack! I have just realized that you have written like 5 chapters since I last reviewed... deepest apologies... I thought my alerts would tell me when there was a new chapter, but clearly they have failed and I will need to check back manually. BUT of course it means lots of fun reading for this morning!

This is wonderfully written. I love how you make the sex between them both steamy and loving at once. You really have a gift for finding just the right balance.



Author's Response:

Thanks! I thought we had broken up but I just didn't know about it! *SMILES*

I appreciate your reviews! I like that chapter. It was an easy on to write. Ch 19 uploads today! But it took 6 long days to get the last one validated. Never took my Beta that long before!

M

 




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