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Penname: BellaS [Contact]
Real name: B
Status: Member
Member Since: April 30, 2009
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I was introduced to the world we all know and love by a former of student of mine a couple of months ago. How naive was I to believe that she was just a girl in love with her boyfriend Edward Cullen. Four books,  a movie, and countless fanfics later, I know exactly who Edward Cullen is. :)


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Reviews by BellaS
 
Summary:

The sun snatched Edward in Volterra, and Bella's journey without him is tough. The grief, endless nightmares, and utter shock of a lost love takes on a heavy toll. Not all is lost to true love; It's What He Would Have Wanted. Alternate New Moon. ExB READ!


Categories: New Moon Characters: Alec, Bella, Carlisle, Demetri, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Felix, Irina, Jacob, Jane, Jasper, Marcus, Rosalie, Tanya, Victoria
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 14 Completed: Yes Word count: 70383
[Report This] Published: October 27, 2008 Updated: February 22, 2009


Reviewer: BellaS Signed
Date: July 21, 2009 Title: Chapter 6: Heartbeat Lost

I was wondering why she would want to change. I mean, to live for an eternity without him would suck. But I understand her reasoning now---no dreams.

 
Reviewer: BellaS Signed
Date: July 21, 2009 Title: Chapter 8: A Blazing Fire

Oh no you did not just kill off Alice!

 
Reviewer: BellaS Signed
Date: July 21, 2009 Title: Chapter 9: Little Ashes

I'm glad she killed Victoria

 
Reviewer: BellaS Signed
Date: July 21, 2009 Title: Chapter 10: Revived Past

So instead of killing them, did the vampires just become human with their memories erased?

 
Reviewer: BellaS Signed
Date: July 21, 2009 Title: Chapter 11: Silence

Why did she sit there and take all their abuse for so long? Was it to make them feel better? I would have ran off with the first couple of words from Jasper.

 
Reviewer: BellaS Signed
Date: July 21, 2009 Title: Chapter 12: Fortuitous Home

I'm assuming that edward was kept alive. But why didn't Alice see it???

 
Reviewer: BellaS Signed
Date: July 21, 2009 Title: Chapter 13: Phoenix

So obviously the story must continue...did they turn into humans? That would make sense b/c Edward will finally turn 18. I think that the story will be told from epov. I have no idea whose death Bella witnessed.

 
Reviewer: BellaS Signed
Date: July 21, 2009 Title: Chapter 14: Epilogue

So she was Bella and everything was real. Then she was hit with thte fire and turned back into a human...but with new memories. Her dreams are a way for her old life to try to resurface. would the same be true for Alice/Alison?

 
Summary:

Edward Cullen made Bella Swan’s life a living hell from age ten to twelve. Finally fed up with the torment and teasing, she moved to Phoenix. Now she’s seventeen, beautiful, and has a new sense of confidence. When her mother sends her back to Forks for her senior year, she is determined to shake things up.

NC-17 for sexuality, underage drinking, and language. OOC, just to be safe. Some canon pairings, some absolutely the opposite.


Categories: AU-Human Characters: Alice, Angela, Bella, Carlisle, Charlie, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jacob, James, Jasper, Jessica, Laurent, Mike, Rosalie
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 20 Completed: No Word count: 55461
[Report This] Published: October 28, 2008 Updated: August 21, 2009


Reviewer: BellaS Signed
Date: May 28, 2009 Title: Chapter 13: Chapter 13: Ultimatums and Tears

I am so glad that Bella and James won't be hooking up. Bella needs to be with Jasper.

 
Reviewer: BellaS Signed
Date: May 28, 2009 Title: Chapter 19: Chapter 19: Crimson and Gifts

I hate Lauren. Please don't go back to her ever! and please get Bella with Edward...or with Jasper...I can't decide. Just make it good!

 
Summary:

Correct Banner

What if in the beginning Edward lied to everyone about being in love with Bella? What if originally it actually was all about Bella's scent? And what would happen then if accidentally, much against his will, Edward kind of sort of fell head over heels in love with this not-so-dull human girl?

This is an AU of the Twilight Saga using an entirely different plot as to how, why, and when Edward and Bella fell in love. It offers a different explanation for what was so special about Bella Swan, why Edward vigilantly enforced those physical boundaries, why there's tension between the Cullens and the wolves, and why Edward behaved the way he did not only with Bella but with his family. Expect romance, mystery, angst, and humor. Dark Edward.

Canon Pairings, No BxExJ, OOC.

This story is rated NC-17 because of occasional naughty language, violence (or implied violence) against humans, vampires, werewolves, animals, insects, minding-their-own-business-pajamas, entities, books, coffee tables, leather recliners, bridges, sword ferns, shrubs, rocks, and worst of all....trees. It is also rated NC-17 due to excessive snarkiness by Edward, references to underage drinking, practical jokes and/or enthusiastic tormenting of secondary characters particularly Mike Newton, Jacob Black, and Charles Swan. It also is rated NC-17 due to sexual content.

 Thanks to Mizra for the banners.


Categories: AU Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Charlie, Edward, Eleazar, Emmett, Esme, Irina, Jacob, Jasper, Kate, Lauren, Leah, Other Character, Rosalie, Sam, Seth, Tanya, Victoria
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 74 Completed: Yes Word count: 1085631
[Report This] Published: October 30, 2008 Updated: May 31, 2011


Reviewer: BellaS Signed
Date: July 15, 2009 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 1 - Tanya and the Bachelor Party Bet

this chapter was awesome. I'm so proud of Bella and her newfound self-confidence. Way to put Tanya in place...and Lauren too apparently.



Author's Response:

Hi there BellaS,

Oh my dear Sweet Baby Jesus. If you want to see Lauren put in her place you'll have to wait to waaaay down the road - I have had a few opportunities. But my dear. I have most evil plans for Lauren. I think you'll find them highly entertaining.

I liked the idea of Tanya not being the evil one, but still causing some conflict. I also liked the idea of someone telling Tanya 'No'. and meaning it. And for me what was important was to try to emphasize that Tanya isn't in love with Edward. Nor does she think she's in love with him. The great love of her life was Alexander the Great. No one has ever been able to compare and as far as Tanya is concerned will. In a strange sort of way, she's "settling" for Edward. Simply because he told her no and stood up to her. So I didn't want there to really be a love triangle. Hope that makes sense. :) Thanks so much for reviewing. Best, Books

 
Reviewer: BellaS Signed
Date: July 15, 2009 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 2: The Bachelor Party: Survival of the B!tchfest - Part One

Lauren is totally despicable. Once she's turned, will we still have to deal with her?



Author's Response:

Hi there BellaS,

I wanted to have some fun with Lauren. You'll get to learn more about what drives her later. This story starts out with seven chapters that are canon like and set up a conflict - and then you have the back story begin. Once the back story is over then we pick up and finishe the rest of the tale. So Lauren will most definitely be in there. Because I can't leave her out. Not after what I've done with her boyfriend. Cause that's too funny not to include, you know? And think about this. If you most outstanding qualities as a human are magnified - what would that make Lauren?

Thanks for reviewing, Books :)

 
Reviewer: BellaS Signed
Date: July 15, 2009 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 2: The Bachelor Party: Survival of the B!tchfest - Part Two

You were right about Tanya...as vain as she is, she was still a good sport in the end. I can't wait to read about the tutorials. Edward deserves it.



Author's Response:

Hi there BellaS,

Thanks for reviewing. I wanted to show a contrast here. Tanya and her sisters had sex with human men for centuries. But they gave that up - at at least went on a severe diet when they became vegetarians because they ahem snacked on a few too many of their lovers over the years. And had a few too many accidents. So they are trying to prepare Bella. But even Tanya thinks there is a high chance that Edward will kill Bella. She hopes not. But having killed her fair share of lovers she really wonders what would happen and decides that if Bella does survive this and get to use her skills on Edward, then Tanya has "won" in the end. She likes the idea of seduction by surrogate - in this case Bella. And some of the tutorials are coming up. Hope you enjoy them.

Best,

Books

 
Reviewer: BellaS Signed
Date: July 15, 2009 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 5: Indecent Exposure at the Thriftway on Aisle Three: Shameless Hussy Part One

This story is so ridiculously funny...and I'm loving every minute of it.



Author's Response:

Hi there BellaS!,

Thanks so much for reviewing, I'm glad you are enjoying it. I want to give you a heads up that it's going to shift in mood and tone when we hit the back story. It'll move to EPOV and it'll be a bit um dark for the first chapter of his backstory. Then it'll get funny again. So it starts out as a comedy, and then switches into a mystery with comedy as well. Best, Books

 
Reviewer: BellaS Signed
Date: July 18, 2009 Title: Chapter 34: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Three: Family Trees and First Dates

Hey Books,

I just wanted to let you know that I am very much enjoying your story. The contrast between the later chapters compared to the first seven just shows the depth you have as a writer. Although I miss the light-heartedness of the earlier chapters, it has made me appreciate the later chapters more. I am dying in anticipation to find out how the story will get resolved (and I'm glad Charlie got the rude awakening he deserves). As bleak and hopeless as the story seems to get, it makes me feel better knowing that all is not lost (otherwise the first seven chapters couldn't truly exist).

I loved the bathroom scene with Charlie and Edward (and what Jasper did). I thought it was cute how Edward kept referring to Bella as his human (and now hos bottle cap). Obviously he will get better talking to her (they are getting married!).

Keep up the good work and thanks for the recap before and after each chapter.



Author's Response:

Hey BellaS!

Thanks! I'm delighted that this part is hitting home. You are right that the story is dark, and I'm got some light times built in to relieve that. The thing to remember about the first seven chapters is that they might come across as light-hearted, but all of this stuff is percolating in Edward (and Bella's) mind. And all of the back story is driving their behavior - why they aren't communicating, for example. So I used a cheery tone in that section while describing some not so cheery effects.

The thing that you should keep in mind in regards to how Edward refers to Bella is that at first he calls her "my human" because he's never had anyone linked with his name before in a relational sense. To Edward that's like they've announced he's dating. It's a sad/hopeful kind of feeling. This guy who hates himself decides at that moment that they are indeed having a relationship. The problem with that is that, well, they aren't. In order for a relationship to exist both parties have to be aware of each other, have mutual influence, and agree upon the form of the relationship. And Edward referring to her as a "human" also underscores that the vampires look down their noses at humans and talk about them as "other" - which only serves linguistically and literally to further separate them from each other. So in a weird way he's depersonalizing her AND claiming her by calling her "my human" or "my singer". When he moves to "dear little one" and "my little bottle cap" he's treating her as more of an individual. When he calls her "my girlfriend" or "my future bride" to me that conveys that he's totally putting the cart before the horse. He's decided that's what they are going to be - he just hasn't figured out what to do to get there since he's so shy. In his mind if he thinks of her as his girlfriend, that makes it true, right? They get along just fine when she's asleep. When you see him call her in his mind my Bella, then you'll know he's a goner.

I have this yardstick I use when thinking up funny stuff. I call it the "that's just sooo wrong" meter. Getting Edward to masturbate for moral purposes? Definitely wrong. Getting Edward caught naked by Charlie who is also kinda sorta naked with Bella asleep on a bed in the next room? Definitely wrong again. Having the whole family participate in tormenting Charlie who's attracted to both Esme and he thinks Edward. Hits high on the wrong meter. So I thought that considering Jasper had a rough time of it lately, the guy needed some way to strike back and Genevieve and protect the family. Charlie is in such a blissed out state as he leaves he is not worried about his daughter at all.

Speaking of Charlie, I've been trying to portray him as a good man, who is emotionally distant from his daughter to the point where he has no idea how bad things are. Since he is shy and Bella is shy, that compounds the matter. He's gotten the wake up call of his life. And it will make him try harder, but he's not going to turn into the perfect parent. He's emotionally neglected his daugher for 17 years. He can't undo that. He can try harder.

I'm glad to know that the recaps are helping. I had a reader on ff.net ask for them. So I've been hoping they help and not drive people crazy. :) Thanks so much for your review and your support of the story. It really does help me as a writer know whether or not what I'm trying to convey with my words is resonating with the readers. And it totally makes my day.

Best,

 

Books

 
Reviewer: BellaS Signed
Date: July 19, 2009 Title: Chapter 34: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Three: Family Trees and First Dates

Thanks for taking the time to respond to my review. It just gave me more insight into your story...and make me appreciate you more. (:

Carlisle's power is pretty cool. It's also really funny that Genevieve and family can't make contact with Bella again. I really can't wait for the showdown!



Author's Response:

Hi there BellaS,

I will always answer any question that I can, plot permitting. I'm glad you liked what I'm doing with Carlisle. I thought the idea of him having the power of compassion kind of well, not all that helpful in the books. And I also didn't see him using it when he handed out his car keys to blood dependent vampires in BD. So I wanted to come up with a different explanation. I also really did like the idea of everyone mentally dismissing him - older immortals included as being harmless - especially Edward. And I kind of was irritated how in NM Edward seemed to take control of his family. CC Carlisle is not perfect. He and Esme have treated Edward with kid gloves for decades and have without realizing it, infantized him and allowed him to keep suffering. So to me he's certainly not a perfect guy, father, or leader. But I wanted to give him a chance to show Edward and the others why he's the head of the coven without having to write him barking out medical orders. I wanted to humanize him. 

I haven't decided if I'm writing it into the story or not but as part of his characterization I had to come up with a reason why the Volturi would even bother to let him hang around in the first place considering they were powerful and all. To me a vampire had to wait hundreds of years in some cases for an audience with them. And Carlisle got taken in right away without waiting a day. To me they did so because they realized he had a very strong power, but they never figured out what it was. So they thought when he left he was on a mission to find his power. And Carlisle didn't really have a sense of how his power worked until he left and realized the fact he was still in one piece was probably a miracle. And I liked the idea of cutting off Access to Bella to Genevieve and her family. It made the spiteful side of me smile.  Thanks so much for your review. :) Books

 
Reviewer: BellaS Signed
Date: July 20, 2009 Title: Chapter 35: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Four - What Could Possibly Go Wrong With a Miscreant Immortal Having an Un-chaperoned First Date?

I can't believe you gave us such a crazy cliffie. I have a couple of questions for you to clear up.

1) How did they get there? Were they just waiting there? How did they know where to find E/B?

2) Has Liam been training Bella to take down Violet Gorgon and her crew?

3) Did Alice have a vision of them at all?

Plesae update soon!!!

PS The picture of the O'Shea farm looked beautiful...but not as beautiful as Edward's hot buns (haha, I liked how you slipped that comment in there)



Author's Response:

Hi there BellaS,

You know that since Edward and Bella are in one piece in the first seven chapters that there's only so much I can do with a cliffe, right? And I rarely give away future plot lines. I will, however ask YOU some questions to give you something to ponder and give you a little info as well.

1) You're asking a very good question. I ask back - how do you know they were waiting for E/B or looking for them?

2)No. Liam most definitely has not been training Bella to be the new buffy. He knows about the red-eyed people because he has the dreams and he knows that she has them, but in his mind he's basically been trying to give her balance skills with a bit of survival 101 thrown in. I should probably have put in an AN on that. Liam was giving her physical therapy without letting her know she would get physical therapy because he and his sister and his brother-in-law had been threatened by Renee that she would take Bella and they'd never see her again if they told Bella about her brain injury. So basically they kept their word but tried to drop subtle hints here and there to see if Bella would figure them out. Since Bella did not want to even consider the possibility - she never caught the hints that they gave her. And she's been beating herself up over it ever since. She's also seriously pissed at her parents for lying to her and forcing her great uncle and grandparents to keep silent. She hasn't spoken to her mother since she got out of the hospital. Edward sent her mother flowers for her mother's birthday in Bella's name. Bella did not.

3) in terms of Alice what I've been trying to show is that her powers have not been reliable. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. And when Edward is involved and using his wolf powers they are particularly on the fritz. If Alice had known that they'd be facing that, Alice would have most definitely given Edward a heads up. She knows how protective he is of Bella - I have been giving Rosalie more story time at present and need to "show" more of a friendship with Alice - but Alice feels very strongly towards Bella and is very protective of her as well. She would never have sent Bella in there blind.

And like the Zeus joke, I suspect that if I ever had a picture of Edward's hot buns and posted it, viewers would be burned to ashes just like what happened to lusty wenches who really "saw" Zeus in his original form. I love wisteria. It's absolutely gorgeous so I liked the idea of them walking under a canopied path that was covered in wisteria. The scent of wisteria is just - well SM might get all giddy about freesias - I get even more so about wisteria. We have a lot of it in my neighborhood and it makes walking around in the early spring amazing in the weeks that it blooms. It also is a plant that you can leave alone and not worry about and it'll take care of itself which is another reason I picked it.

Am already working on next chapter. Swear. I've posted a teaser on the thread as well. stop by some time. :) Thanks so much for your review and your support of the story. I do promise that your questions will get answered - maybe not all at once but they all will be addressed. :) Books

 
Reviewer: BellaS Signed
Date: July 25, 2009 Title: Chapter 36: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Five: Technically I Did Not Sleep With Her on the First Date

omgomgomg.Thanks for the shout-out in the A/N. That was totally cool. I knew reading those things would eventually pay off. Okay, now downn to business.

Why is the algae considered a food source? Was it a food source for those guarding it? If Emmett ate enough of it, would he be able to leave his human body behind too? Is that how the lost covens remained hidden all those years (by leaving their bodies)

I think that it was really cool Edward got to see Carlisle's first meeting with Grandmother Grace. It showed how much Carlisle really needed a family to call his own and the fact that he really was extremely lonely. I'm also glad Edward witnessed the whole scene between Elizabeth and Carlisle. Maybe now he will be able to overcome all his issues about being a vampire...especially knowing that his mother knew what Carlisle was and still asked for Edward to be changed.

You made a really funny comment about Edward being a premature power user.

I liked how you portrayed Rosalie as someone with more substance than many of the other fanfics. It's cool to see that she is this hard-core science geek that likes to cinduct research (that isn't as...private...as Edward's) hehe.

Random questions: Will Paula be having problems with the pack about her leadership? Will Emmett or Jasper get a sidekick too? I seems like they really want one.



Author's Response:

Hi there Bella S!

I wanted to thank everyone who has been so supportive of me (that include you my dear) because I've had people tell me that I'd never keep readers intersted in a story this long. It means the world to me that I still have readers. And that they like what I'm doing. So of course I did a shout out. Readers like you are why I keep posting the chapters.

Do you remember a chapter or so ago when Carlisle talked about meeting the woman from the lost coven who was so desperately ill and that she refused blood? She was living off of another food source. I had to come up with a device that showed just how different the lost covens (some of them) were from the rest of the immortal world. If you are a vampire and you are hiding, by watching the food supply that's how they'd catch you. And make no mistake the Volturi are scouring the earth irritated like no one's business that they haven't found the lost covens. They know they are out there. So to me, coming up with a different way to feed - plant life - odd plant life at that - one that you'd kill over - that was interesting. And if you have a technology or way of making your scent disappear so that you can't be detected by smell? Even better. One of the mysteries in this story is how the lost covens hid. And I'm only now starting to delve into that part (although we will definitely learn how).

I wanted to show how Edward is learning how to empathize over the courses of this story. He never turned angry at Carlisle for changing him because he knew from the beginning that his mother had asked. But to me it really makes him have to think when he sees why she asked. And I also had his reaction about how she had misplaced her faith in him because of sentimentality - I wanted that to be ironic. He's saying she was wrong to believe in him because humans fool themselves with emotions - while fooling himself with emotions. I also wanted to draw a parallel between Edward and Carlisle. Carlisle left the Volturi because his conscience could no longer take watching or even hearing feedings going on. And his attitudes although the leaders liked him a lot - the rank and file snickered at him. So he's a pariah in his world - loved by the powerful - yet mocked by others. And one of the most basic human needs if you read Abraham Maslow is the need for love and belongingness. So I wanted to show Carlisle coming in from the cold and being welcomed by his family.

I don't know if you remember but if you go back to the unfortunate venom incident, Alice made a crack about Edward being a premature ejaculator, and I've been making little references to that ever since. He's been bugged by it.

I think that Rosalie was completely wasted in the books. Alice, too. I wanted to portray them as having brains. I wanted to show Rosalie with her techincal knowledge as being a brainiac who used it well. I liked the idea of her coming up with ways for the family to blend in like the battary packs in the clothes, etc.

Paula is most definitely going to have problems - she's got two problems so far. First, she's not able to access her shaman powers and second she can't link minds with anyone. Each of them alone is a problem. Both of them together is a big problem. But Paula also is a smooth talker. Confident. She needs time to learn from Edward how to unlock the memories. Time that they don't have at present. I wanted to throw that in to show pack politics.

I have no plans for Emmett or Jasper to get a sidekick. I could always change my mind, though. I liked Jasper having envy over Grace. :)

Thanks for your review. It was amazing!

Best,

Books

 
Reviewer: BellaS Signed
Date: July 31, 2009 Title: Chapter 37: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Six: Just So Wrong on So Many Levels

I'm glad that they were finally able to do something to Billy. He is one disgusting old dude. What could he have possibly done with all that sperm? Like anyone in the right mind would want it!

There were some really funny parts in this story...some sweet ones too. My favorite sweet moment was when all the Cullens were trying to help edward out with what to say or do to make Bella feel better. I know that happens often, but I love it anyways. It was so funny when Emmett accidentally said "what" when he couldn't hear Bella talk (about the shirt).

How is it that the newborns that showed up at the school a century older than Carlisle? Why did they choose the school. They are running a very high chance of exposing themselves.



Author's Response:

Hi Bella S!

Thanks so much for reviewing! I wrote that scene weeks ago with Paula and was waiting for the right place to put it in the story. And you're right Billy is just gross. Since Jacob is not his genetically and he's never really accepted him as his son, and he considers his daughters to be useless - Billy is obsessed with passing on his genes. A little too obsessed.

I'm glad the combination of emotions worked for you in this chapter. I  never know how it will come across so posted it and crossed my fingers. :) I have written Edward as a profoundly shy man. He will always need help communicating, because he does not have much practice at it and he gets so self-conscious when talking. So his family is not used to having to help him out because he rarely spoke before. This is just as new to them as it is for him. I was also trying to use those scenes to show either how insightful he is, or how dense. Maybe both. :) And I just love Emmett. He's so much fun to write.

Just because they take the name "newborn" does not mean they are. They are older vampires than Carlisle that have bounced around the planet surviving on a wing and a prayer. They are both stupid - and stupidly lucky. That's why they aren't a pile of ashes. And you are most definitely right, they are running a huge chance of exposure. You'll learn more about them in the next chapter. Swear. And more Edward and Bella time coming up, too.

Thanks so much for reviewing. You made my night.

Best,

Books :)

 
Reviewer: BellaS Signed
Date: November 27, 2009 Title: Chapter 47: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Thirty-Six - Ok, So I'm Only Inhuman

I really liked this chapter. I am curious as to why he decided to go to the Volturi for help first. Was it because the other immortals attacking his family was just too large and he wouldn't be able to defeat them. As for Bella, it really is her, correct? It was funny how he kept sniffing her.

I loved his entrance into Volterra. Stupid Boris! The whole Marcus scene makes sense.

Update soon! I hope you get this published. I would really like a hard copy. :)



Author's Response:

Hi there BellaS!

Thanks so much! The thing to remember about Edward is that when in doubt, he falls back on what he learned from Carlisle. And Carlisle has always said the Volturi were the most powerful vampires and Edward knows that Carlisle was influential enough that he was called the "fourth brother". So to him even though he's lost his mind, it makes perfect sense that he's going to go to the Volturi to raise help for his family. He would also be following the laws by reporting rebellion, so he has the moral high ground in his mind. And yes, that really is Bella. :)

I liked the idea of making the Volturi live off in their own little world that did not consist of a tiny Italian hamlet. And to me, the Volturi are so picky about the company that they keep that it would make sense that they are heavily guarded - So Boris would be normative in their world. It also underscored the audacity of Carlisle in that he was the only immortal in their history who literally just walked right through the front door (using his powers) and was accepted by the brothers. Edward is the second, and he made a considerably larger entrance than did Carlisle and kind of eclipsed Carlisle's legedary coup.

And working on the next section. Don't have a posting date because I want to get it right. This is the complicated part of the story where I'm trying to tie stuff together. :) Thanks, as ever, for your support. :)

Best,

Books

 
Reviewer: BellaS Signed
Date: November 27, 2009 Title: Chapter 47: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Thirty-Six - Ok, So I'm Only Inhuman

One more thing, I forgot to mention how clever I found it that you integrated the whole her hearing voices thing into the story. As I was reading New Moon, I always wondered if Edward found some way to communicate with her when she did something stupid. Although that isn't exactly the case here, I like the fact that Edward can finally see what is occurring with Bella. Hopefully he will get there in time. I loved the fact that he was scared of drowning (that's all I have read so far).



Author's Response:

Hi there BellaS!

Thanks so much for your kind words. :) I was deeply disturbed by the plot line resolution of Bella's mental state in NM. I thought for a book geared towards a young audience that writing someone as clinically depressed, suicidal, with auditory hallucinations who refused to get any type of mental health help - and then was magically "cured" and "whole and complete" the second her ex-boyfriend walked back into the page.....that really bugged me. Since Bella and Edward have been idealized in marketing as the perfect couple it sends the message to young readers that when a girl gets dumped - acting like Bella did is the model to follow, and that all your problems go away if you get back together. So I was determined in CC that I had to address that plot hole. Sorry about the rant. :)

Best,

Books

 

 
Reviewer: BellaS Signed
Date: November 27, 2009 Title: Chapter 47: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Thirty-Six - Ok, So I'm Only Inhuman

Oh yeah, I forgot to comment on his suicide attempt. Although it was probably a good idea in theory, what was he thinking swimming itno the trench? How did he believe that Carlise's attempt were not as desperate as his were?

Also, the fact that he had to eat skunks and dine at the butcher shops was hilarious. Thanks for the visual.

 



Author's Response:

Hi there BellaS!

Thanks so much for the questions - and spoiling me so! Edward was not thinking rationally when he swam into the trench. had he been thinking rationally he would have realized that in order to die he would have to burn, and he can't quite do that underwater. Also, I wanted to tap into the idea that he was so desperate to be a mortal that when he became suicidal he thought about taking his life in a mortal sense, not an immortal one. And he thought in his mind that Carlisle hadn't really tried because that's the arrogant part of Edward coming out in his desperation to convince himself that he's right.

Edward Cullen skunk stalker. Too much fun writing that part, I must confess. :)

Best,

Books

 
Reviewer: BellaS Signed
Date: November 27, 2009 Title: Chapter 46: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Thirty-Five - Fine. I Really, Truly, Sincerely, From the Bottom of My Ossified Heart, Love Bella Swan. Happy?

Thanks for the info on making the screen white, the only problem was that I couldn't leave a review. Am I missing something?

As for this chapter, was it weird that I loved it? It was raw and full of emotion. I thought the dog was adorable as a puppy, but my goodness is it going to get huge. I thought it would be funny if he wanted to eat the dog, but it was definitely not the case.

I thought that edward breaking up with Bella in front of everyone at school was horrible, but it did the trick. I was so proud of her for not crying and breaking down in front of everyone.

It was kind of weird that he thought all the images he was seeing was fake. Why was it so hard for him to believe it? Was it because he truly believed what he did was right?

I loved it when Jericho went to go tell on him to his real parents.

As hasrd as this chapter was to write, it needed to happen. he finally got his epiphany and hopefully is on his way back to Bella.

I am concerned that no one is picking up their phone. Something big must be happening.

Thanks for the clarification on what was happening with his power when Phoenix was around. It actually made a lot of sense. As for Victoria, I can't wait to see what happens. She kind of seems untouchable now.



Author's Response:

Hi BellaS!

Thanks so much for the review! I had no idea about the not being able to review problem. Yikes. Sorry. :) The first time I tried to change the screen I freaked out because it took forever for my story to actually load - so I can see why people might just want to read it over at fanfiction.net. I like the Twilighted format because I can directly paste in the links and pictures with each chapter.

I don't think it's strange to like angst. I know I do, although in doses. I can't read a lot of it at once. I have a friend who has a Tibetan Mastiff, hence I wrote the dog into the story. They are about the size of small horses. :) And I thought given the nature of the breed, it was the perfect dog for CC Bella. It's a guardian but it also is very independent and does not cling. Edward has made jokes about Jasper eating domesticated animals - so I did not want to make him want to eat the dog. Kill him? Of course. But Edward has standards. Sometimes.

I have read so many breakup scenes - many of them well written. I wanted to make mine different. I wanted to have him leave her for completely different reasons and have him say the absolute truth as he saw it - without that whole, "I'm doing this because it's what's best for you," business. Edward's drive all along has been protecting his family and proving his worthiness of belonging to them. Even IF he had realized that he truly loved Bella, it would not have changed that he would still have left her in my mind to go and protect his family. Edward rationalizes that because he is not mated to her, if he dies, the family suffers less, than it would if Jasper died (which would take out Mary Alice at the same time). And he thinks since he's lived on the fringes of the family so long, they won't miss him as much as they'd miss the others. So to him leaving makes perfect sense. And I didn't want her groveling and begging him to stay. She's quiet. When she's upset she clams up. So the little she did say was epic tongue-lashing on her part.

It was hard for Edward to believe that what he was seeing was true for several reasons. First, his powers had expanded to close to 80 miles in radius - so there was no way he could rationally explain that his powers had expanded to cover the distance from Texas to Forks - the vision didn't have the feel of his usual ability to watch. Second, he'd never had a vision in "real-time" - they'd always been of the past. Third, Mary Alice had left him that drawing of what Bella would look like if he left her and he could not emotionally process that the wraith he saw was indeed Bella. Fourth, he had left her guarded to the teeth by the Fake Canadians (they have over 4k troops, surely that's enough to protect one measly mortal), as well as the wolf pack and Paula AND his family because they were only supposed to be in Alaska for a few days before returning to Forks. He can't accept that she would be left vulnerable. Also, I tried to show how gradually he's losing his mind over the course of the chapter - due to starvation in part. Hope all that made sense.

I loved the idea of Jericho playing on one of his deepest fears. So I am glad that part resonated with you. In regards to the scene with Phoenix, I wanted to show how Edward still does not understand how his powers work. In vampire terms he's only had them for a blink in time. And I wanted to show that despite that whole mind reading it doesn't mean that he accurately perceives what is going on around him. He can be wrong, big time. So he completely misunderstood his behavior with Phoenix and because he's so hard on himself, decided that meant he failed.

Edward is torn on Victoria. The greatest suffering he can put her through is to simply let her live and know that Jasper is happy with Mary Alice.

It seriously sucked writing that chapter, so I'm delighted that you enjoyed it. :)

Best,

Books

 
Reviewer: BellaS Signed
Date: August 26, 2009 Title: Chapter 38: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Seven - Oh the Depravity! The newborns and Tyler Crowley Must Die! Not Necessarily in That Order

I really don't know how the newborns are going to remain celibate for 2 centuries. I know time is different to them, but two centuries?

the whole orgy scene was too much. I laughed at the damage control Tanya had to stoop to.

It was funny too when Jasper had to finally feed the words to Edward. I was wondering why no one was really telling Edward what was bothering Bella. I know they hinted at it, but Edward was probably not receptive to their help. I mean, come on, he's Edward Cullen and has magical powers.

Can't wait to see how their date went..and what happened to Lauren.

Oh yeah, ew ew ew. I cannot believe that Billy was trying to get Bella pregnant with his own kid. It was funny when you had them point out that they only needed one sperm to do the job and that there was no need for the many vials he had in storage.



Author's Response:

Hi there BellaS!

Thanks so much for the review! I have no idea how the newborns will remain celibate either. something to keep in mind is that they have never had to exercise discipline. Hopefully being under Tanya, Kate, and Irina's wing will teach them all something.

I'm glad you liked the scene in the locker room. I had so much fun with Tanya there. And Edward being forced to watch for moral purposes, of course. Poor man is scarred for life.

The reason why no one told Edward was because when they DID try to tell him to go after her, he didn't listen to them. So they thought that since they had babied him and treated him like a 17 year old for the  past decades, that maybe it was time they treated him like an adult and let him learn the hard way. They tried to give him nudges in the right direction - conversation with Emmett later on and the one with Hezekiah. Ultimately they stepped in because he was falling apart in public and given his powers they couldn't take the chance that he'd lose control. But Edward still does not know what he did wrong. And he most definitely will learn. Edward's problem is that he's an awkward combination of pride/arrogance/cluelessnes/and ineptness. And when you combine that with him being painfully shy - the results are not pretty.

I think you will find the date entertaining. And Lauren is currently getting the snot beat out of her in juvie.

Billy was most definitely planning on getting Bella pregnant. And he planned on having at least two before he knocked her off. Jacob too.  I liked the idea of Tanya and the sisters driving around with him in tow, and all of them observing the newborns. I thought it amusing that Billy, drugged to the gills would be criticizing the newborns. And I had a lot of fun writing the scene with them chiding him.

Thanks so much for your support of the story. You made my day.

Best,

Books

 
Reviewer: BellaS Signed
Date: September 06, 2009 Title: Chapter 39: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Eight: You Shook Me All Night Long

I'm so happy that Edward is referring to Bella as his girfriend. We are getting so close to them being together now.

I can't believe that Edward was able to pull that prank on Jasper and Emmett...it was hilarious that the guys almost fell for it.

The end was probably the best when Edward gave Bella his smile from the future. It was just too sweet!



Author's Response:

Hi there BellaS!

Thanks so much for the review! I had loads of fun with the prank, particularly the fact that it was so audacious that Emmett never suspected that he was being played. Jasper, too. Give Edward a script, get Bella out of the room, make him inspired and the boy can act his butt off. He's more comfortable pretending to be someone other than himself.

Future Edward is beaming at you.

Best,

Books

 




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