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Penname: RarelyPureNeverSimple [Contact]
Real name: Alexandra
Status: Member
Member Since: October 12, 2008
Website:
Beta-reader:

i'm 16 turning 60


i have a bazzilion friends 


none of them are huge fans, well what do you call a huge fan???


can't wait 4 midnight sun!!!!!


i love a good read.


and the twilight series are great!!!


so is the host!


does anyone know when she is gonna bring out a sequel to that???


any way,


ILY TWILIGHT.


so yea.


[Report This]
 
 
Reviews by RarelyPureNeverSimple
 
Where's the Love? by Marcy Rated: PG starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 9]
Summary: Jasper Hale has been keeping a secret from his family. What happens when the truth comes out in the most accidental of ways?
Categories: Eclipse Characters: Jasper
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 2756
[Report This] Published: June 01, 2008 Updated: June 01, 2008


Reviewer: RarelyPureNeverSimple Signed
Date: June 28, 2009 Title: Chapter 1: Where's the Love?

aaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww..........

 
Summary:

Final Authors' Note

Roo: (stunned) So I just finished reading Breaking Dawn…

Marcy: (stunned) Erm…me too…

Roo: Wow. We thought that we had a hilarious joke going on.

Marcy: The worst plot idea imaginable.

Roo: “Pregnant vampire Bella joins the army.”

Marcy: Stephenie Meyer outdid us, crackfic wise.

Roo: She gave us “Pregnant human Bella gets a half-vamp mutant torn from her womb as Edward chews through her placenta before turning into a vampire anddefeating the army.”

Marcy: That makes our story look pretty tame and believable.

Roo: All that silliness that we came up with about Bella being a mind-shield and the Volturi being afraid of her…

Marcy: Who could have forseen that that was actually TRUE?? Unbelievable…

Roo: I was going to have Jake imprint on Jane, thinking that it would be funny and outrageous.

Marcy: Little did we know that Jake would imprint on the infant half-vamp mutant torn from Bella’s womb. Jake gets paired with Edward’s kid?? That takes "outrageous" to a whole new level.

Roo: And so the puppy fell in love with the baby sea monster.

Marcy: Stupid crackbook. Sick maschoistic readers.

Roo: Raises questions about what half-werewolf/shapeshifter, quarter-human, quarter-vampire people would be like. Ew.

Marcy: One of those aliens from “The Host” must have snatched Stephenie Meyer’s body. It’s the only explanation for how bizarre Breaking Dawn was.

Roo: The staff at “Twilighted” said that if someone had submitted Breaking Dawn as a fanfic that they would have put it in the “Alternative Universe” or “Crackfic” sections.

Marcy: Probably “Crackfic.”

Roo: So anyways…there’s not really a point in continuing this story any more now is there?

Marcy: Probably not. We’ve been outcracked.

Roo: So we’re jumping ship.

Marcy: Yep.

Roo: But fret not, faithful readers!! More crack will be coming your way!

Marcy: New realms of weirdness wait in our imagination! Now that NOTHING would surprise us, we know no limits!

Roo: Angela could be a witch!

Marcy: Ben could be the invisible man!

Roo: Mike Newton could be a merman!

Marcy: The Cullens could take Nessie trick-or-treating!

Roo: Hey! That sounds like a GREAT idea for a fic!

Marcy: It will be our next project!

Both: MWA HA HA HA HA!!


Categories: Crackfic Characters: Bella
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 6 Completed: No Word count: 16540
[Report This] Published: June 08, 2008 Updated: July 19, 2008


Reviewer: RarelyPureNeverSimple Signed
Date: June 28, 2009 Title: Chapter 4: Doggy Style

OMG

i love this so much!!

sure it MIGHT be total crap, but its about time there was a really good bella-jacob pairing!!

TEAM JACOB!!

:D

 
Reviewer: RarelyPureNeverSimple Signed
Date: June 28, 2009 Title: Chapter 6: The Best Part of the Plan

OMG.OMG.OMG.OMG.OMG

i can't wait for the next chapter!!!

 

 
Summary:

 

'I feel like a fricking fugitive.  And for what?  For writing a book?  For trying to make the world a better place?  I know that Gregorio thinks I might be in some kind of danger because of my association with the Cullens, and he wants me far from Viktor’s grip, but this whole thing strikes me as a bit overly dramatic.  Then again, what the hell do I know?'    -Elie 

 

This story visits the Cullens on occasion (to annoy Edward and entertain Alice) but takes off on its own across the world in a new adventure with new characters to fall in love with and a few others to hate. All pairings and events from the Twilight series remain intact, but we get to view them from a different perspective – the more acidic, more cynical perspective of Elie, a bad ass vamp from Romania. Explore the beginnings of the next great conflict after the “happily ever after” of Breaking Dawn.

 

Enjoy! And please let me know what you think!

 


Categories: Breaking Dawn, AU, Post-Breaking Dawn Characters: None
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 20 Completed: Yes Word count: 75458
[Report This] Published: July 08, 2008 Updated: October 17, 2008


Reviewer: RarelyPureNeverSimple Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star
Date: October 13, 2008 Title: Chapter 18: Trust Issues

HEY!!!
I LOVE THE STORY
YOU ARE A VERY TALENTED WRITER
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LAST CHAPTER?
YOU SHOULD TOTALLY FINISH IT
I CANT WAIT TO READ THE LAST OF IT
MAYBE YOU SHOULD LOOK AT WRITING YOUR OWN STORIES AND GETTING THEM PUBLISHED?
YOU HAVE SKILLS
ILY
RARELYPURENEVERSIMPLE

Author's Response: Thanks for the enthusiastic review!!!  Every word of it means so much to me.  Thanks for upping my starrage, too!  The last chapter (Chapter 20, to be titled 'Goodbye') will be up by the end of the week - stay tuned.  BTW, you are my very first ILY - YTK!

 
Broken by alice_laughed Rated: PG-13 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 131]
Summary:

Claire's mom took their family away shortly after finding out about Quil.  The implications of a broken imprint are far reaching and can impact you - body and soul.  The bond is deeper than anyone ever realized.


Categories: Post-Eclipse Characters: Quil
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 11 Completed: No Word count: 39574
[Report This] Published: July 30, 2008 Updated: September 28, 2009


Reviewer: RarelyPureNeverSimple Signed
Date: April 05, 2009 Title: Chapter 10: Chapter 10

zomg

put up as many chapters as soon as possible!!!

this is fantastic, i've always been a sucker for a werewolf.

(quil especially!)

incredible stuff, u r awsum.

 
Reviewer: RarelyPureNeverSimple Signed
Date: June 30, 2009 Title: Chapter 10: Chapter 10

AAAAWWWW!!!!

i absolutly love this story!!

here are three reasons

1. it is a great plot line, and it really gets into claires life.

2. no-one really pays attention to the other characters in the twilight books, they deserve a little creit.

3. i love Quil !!!

and this is really something worth reading and following.

love

RarelyPureNeverSimple

 
Purgatory by spaniard Rated: R starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 357]
Summary:

Seven original members of the Olympic Coven, and seven deadly sins. Coincidence? Edward has lived too long to believe in coincidences.

He reluctantly relays the deaths and subsequent turnings of each member of his family to his new bride. Each death represents a deadly sin.

An astounding amount of praise and thanks to MrsC for the beautiful banner!


Categories: Pre-Twilight, Twilight, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jasper, Renesmee, Rosalie
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 28 Completed: Yes Word count: 42807
[Report This] Published: August 12, 2008 Updated: June 03, 2009


Reviewer: RarelyPureNeverSimple Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star
Date: October 19, 2008 Title: Chapter 18: The Third Level

this is totally incredible!!!!!
WOW!!
i can't wait for the next pages!!
i loved esme's story.
you are such a good writer!

Author's Response: Thank you!  I'm having a bit of writer's block on the next ones.  Hopefully it will be gone soon and I can have Gluttony out by his coming weekend.

 
Queen of Hearts by rwe123 Rated: R starstarstarstar [Reviews - 3]
Summary:

Rosalie called her father for a ride home, and never met Royce and his friends in the streets. What her life might have been like if she stayed human.


Categories: AU-Human Characters: Emmett, Rosalie
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: No Word count: 946
[Report This] Published: August 20, 2008 Updated: August 27, 2008


Reviewer: RarelyPureNeverSimple Signed starstarstarstar
Date: November 17, 2008 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue

hmmmm

you should totally finish this.

get it up as soon as you can!!

 
A Week in Purgatory by KowBonez Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarhalf-star [Reviews - 75]
Summary:

a week in purgatory banner

Renesmee is a week from her half birthday, the day she will be fully mature and Jacob will be able to have her to himself for the rest of their lives. However, the two are having a hard time keeping their hands off each other while the day slowly draws nearer. With Edward and Bella breathing down his neck, Jake is split between wanting to give his love everything she wants and trying not be killed by her vampire parents.

Rated NC-17 for crude teenaged humor and language and eventual sexual gratification in later chapters.


Categories: Post-Breaking Dawn Characters: Jacob, Nessie
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 8 Completed: No Word count: 24942
[Report This] Published: August 23, 2008 Updated: February 01, 2009


Reviewer: RarelyPureNeverSimple Signed starstarstarstar
Date: October 21, 2008 Title: Chapter 3: It's Like a Third Arm

OMG!!

you so have to finish this story!!!

this is really good!

 
Summary: Love was a forbidden emotion for me. Ever since I disappointed Alice, I couldn't allow it. And victims never got away. A little girl ruined that- and I would kill her for it.
Categories: Pre-Twilight, AU Characters: Alice, Bella, Edward, Jasper
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: No Word count: 554
[Report This] Published: August 24, 2008 Updated: September 04, 2008


Reviewer: RarelyPureNeverSimple Signed starstarstarstar
Date: October 29, 2008 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue

WOW!

i'm liking this!!

you soo have to finish it!

please post the rest as soon as possible!

it is well written, has a certain charm, and totally rules!

 
Summary:

What will happen when new girl, Isabella Swan, comes to Forks High and sees the 'dahhottestguyeva' Edward Cullen? Will she compare her and him to the greatest novel ever, twilight? And what if she randomly gets into the volvo and crashes into James?

**This is completely stupid crackfic.**


Categories: Crackfic Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Edward, Emmett, Eric, James, Jasper, Jessica, Mike, Nessie
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 624
[Report This] Published: September 07, 2008 Updated: September 08, 2008


Reviewer: RarelyPureNeverSimple Signed
Date: June 27, 2009 Title: Chapter 1: Randomness

lol!!

wtf!!??

 
Summary:

What if Bella never jumped? So Edward didn't go to Italy. What happens if when Edward came back to "check-up" on Bella, like he told himself he would, he found her in what appeared to be a happy life?

What if he stayed, to watch over her as her life progressed? A protector, an angel?

What if she needed him, and he came?

What if?


Categories: New Moon Characters: Bella, Edward, Jacob
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 10 Completed: No Word count: 15240
[Report This] Published: September 09, 2008 Updated: October 13, 2008


Reviewer: RarelyPureNeverSimple Signed starstarstarstar
Date: November 16, 2008 Title: Chapter 10: Fuel to the fire

hey,

i just read the whole thing and it RULES!!!

i totally love it!!

PLEASE finish it really soon!!!!!

and if you promise to post more often then i'll read more often

lol

ily

RarelyPureNeversimple.

p.s

don't be offended that i've given you an 8, i NEVER ive full marks.

 
Summary:

Emmett and Jasper have a bet... Who can cause the most chaos within their family? Join them through the tears, blood, and unconsiousness- of course, all belong to Bella.


Categories: Crackfic Characters: Bella, Carlisle, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jacob, Jasper, Kristen Stewart, Mike, Robert Pattinson, Rosalie
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 6 Completed: No Word count: 5197
[Report This] Published: September 12, 2008 Updated: February 10, 2009


Reviewer: RarelyPureNeverSimple Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star
Date: October 22, 2008 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4

OMG!!!

LOL

ROFL

ILY

this whole thing rocks!!!

(but I'm not sure about carlisle)

Please keep writing this!!!

as soon as you can!!!!!!!!!

 
Reviewer: RarelyPureNeverSimple Signed
Date: February 13, 2009 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6

oooooooooohhhhh,

i'm keeping tabs on this one!!!!

i can't wait for the finish!!!

hurry with the writing please!

 
Nightfall by HP_Ravenclaw Rated: PG starstarstarstarhalf-star [Reviews - 91]
Summary:

 

Nightfall

 

Edward meet Harry Potter
Bella meet Hermione Granger
Aro meet Snape's daughter

Vampires meet Wizards

Harry Potter/ Twilight fan fic
 
Written in several parts

Severus Snape's daughter, Laiet, becomes leader of the Death Eaters and makes an alliance with the Volturi. Harry Potter, in the midst of his training, meets the Cullens and finds a unique alliance with the vampires.

>


Categories: Crossover Characters: Alice, Aro, Bella, Caius, Carlisle, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jacob, Jasper, Nessie, Other Character, Renesmee, Rosalie
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 14 Completed: No Word count: 30372
[Report This] Published: September 18, 2008 Updated: June 22, 2010


Reviewer: RarelyPureNeverSimple Signed
Date: November 16, 2008 Title: Chapter 2: Memories

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm,

i really like it.

have you done this sort of thing B4??

you should really finish this.

i can't wait for the next chapter!!!

 
Summary:

The Cullens have always worried about Edward and when he would find that "special someone". So when Alice has a vision of him finding the special girl, the family packs up immediately and moves to Europe, the "kids" enrolling in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

There, awaits Kassandra, a vampire of Carlisle's age. Smart, funny, passionate and dedicated, she has spent most, if not ALL, of her existance devoted to finding a cure....


Categories: Crossover Characters: Alice, Carlisle, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jasper, Other Character, Rosalie
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 3 Completed: No Word count: 8558
[Report This] Published: September 22, 2008 Updated: September 30, 2008


Reviewer: RarelyPureNeverSimple Signed starstarstarhalf-star
Date: October 21, 2008 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

great start!

really well written, soz but thats all i've got for now.

 
Reviewer: RarelyPureNeverSimple Signed starstarstarhalf-star
Date: October 21, 2008 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2

this is pretty cool!!

i like it so far

 
Reviewer: RarelyPureNeverSimple Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star
Date: October 21, 2008 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3

hey this is great!!

really good twist with the whole forgetting stuff.

possibly have sirius try to jog her memory,

have rosalie forget who emmett is, alice forgets who jasper is, esme forgets who carlilse is, edward forgets who kassandra is.

lol

plaese keep writing!!!!

i love you story!

P.S don't take the rating personally, i never give ANYONE a 10

 
Sunrise by mauvedreams Rated: PG-13 starstarstarstarhalf-star [Reviews - 49]
Summary:

Amelia has always lived her life alone. Her family is dysfunctional and her friends are avoiding her. It's hardly a life at all. So when a mysterious shadow is cast over her skylight one night, she decides to investigate to see if it could possibly lead her to a new direction. She never could have imagined what came next...

A mysterious family who she suspects to be killers enter her world and soon her entire existance is turned upside down. Who are the Cullens and what are they hiding? And why can Edward see right through her?

An AU story exploring what could have happened if Bella chose Jacob...

don't ask


Categories: Post-Eclipse, AU Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jacob, Jasper, Other Character, Rosalie
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 9 Completed: Yes Word count: 20176
[Report This] Published: October 08, 2008 Updated: March 13, 2009


Reviewer: RarelyPureNeverSimple Signed starstarstarstar
Date: October 27, 2008 Title: Chapter 1: Nightmare

i have to say that i love this!!!

what happens next???

you soooooooooo have to finish this!!

i can't wait to see what happens!!!!

ily!!

lol



Author's Response:

Muahahaha what happens next is for me to know and for you to find out! Thank you for being my first reviewer though and I will be updating.

 
The New Day by mottmom Rated: R starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 81]
Summary:

Nessie and Jake are married.  The Volturi are getting restless from laying low for the last seven years after their embarrassment in the meadow. Dawn broke when Nessie was born and Bella was changed, what is in store for the new day?

 

 


Categories: Post-Breaking Dawn Characters: Alice, Aro, Bella, Billy, Brady, Caius, Carlisle, Charlie, Claire, Demetri, Edward, Embry, Emily, Emmett, Esme, Felix, Garrett, Jacob, Jane, Jared, Jasper, Kate, Renesmee, Seth, Siobhan, Zafrina
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 9 Completed: No Word count: 26773
[Report This] Published: October 11, 2008 Updated: February 07, 2009


Reviewer: RarelyPureNeverSimple Signed starstarstarhalf-star
Date: October 26, 2008 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2 - isle esme

wow

it great!

OMG, whats gonna happen next? please finish this!!!

 
Summary: Rose and Edward make a bet. Will the school playboy be able to turn Bella into a vixen and get James to ask her out to prom? Will Edward make a good teacher and teach Bella everything she needs to know? Oh yes, there will be lemons! All human, OOC and Cannon pairing. Rated for Very, very mature audiences. You have been warned!
Categories: AU-Human Characters: None
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 3 Completed: No Word count: 6069
[Report This] Published: October 14, 2008 Updated: October 23, 2008


Reviewer: RarelyPureNeverSimple Signed starstarstarhalf-star
Date: October 24, 2008 Title: Chapter 3: Edward

huh, interesting, but you need to pick up the story a bit?

the date with victoria, have it go totally wrong, bella happens to work at the restaraunt or something, and she says stuff, he starts to like her, he trys to get her to F*** him, she slaps him and the next day there are posters about his personal life all over the school.

he gets angry, she gets angry, the yell and totally go nuts for each other, but james is trying to get her on his list.

lol

pretty good so far!! just try to get the story to move along. 



Author's Response: Thanks for enjoying! I'll definitely try to post a bit faster so you guys can read!

 
Summary:

Alice was so focused on Bella when she came back to Forks that she didn't see Edward's decision to go to Italy. In fact, she didn't see anything until it was too late.

BPOV


Categories: New Moon, AU Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Charlie, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jasper, Rosalie
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 4 Completed: Yes Word count: 6024
[Report This] Published: October 16, 2008 Updated: October 29, 2008


Reviewer: RarelyPureNeverSimple Signed starstarstarstar
Date: November 18, 2008 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4

totally sad and totally awsome!!

i loved it.

 
Summary:

What if Edward had arrived too late in New Moon? What if Bella had said yes to Jacob before Edward came back? What if Edward had accepted her decision... and left. Left for Britain where he saves a dying Draco Malfoy by turning him into a vampire, and by doing so gets magical powers and attends Hogwarts where he finds a certain Hermione Granger...?

 

Hey, it could happen. 


Categories: New Moon, AU, Crossover Characters: Alec, Athenodora, Caius, Edward, Eric, Irina, Nessie, Seth
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: No Word count: 1259
[Report This] Published: October 19, 2008 Updated: October 23, 2008


Reviewer: RarelyPureNeverSimple Signed
Date: November 16, 2008 Title: Chapter 1: Prolouge and Chapter One -

yep, i want the rest of this.

GIMME GIMME GIMME!!!!!!

please hurry!!

 
Reviewer: RarelyPureNeverSimple Signed starstarstarstar
Date: November 25, 2008 Title: Chapter 1: Prolouge and Chapter One -

hi!!

i love this!!!

what happens next!!??

please put another chapter on!!

 
Secrets and Lies by KVMH girl Rated: PG-13 starstarstarstarhalf-star [Reviews - 24]
Summary:

Krystal, Bella's half sister, comes to live with her in Forks. Of course, Krystal came to Forks at a bad time. Bella finally has gained the love of Edward Cullen, and Krystal seems to be a bit of a distraction. But Bella soon finds she and Krystal have a lot in common. And of course it would be invetiable that Krystal would get sucked into the secret world that her half-sister was living in.


Categories: Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn, AU Characters: Bella, Charlie, Edward, Jacob, Other Character, Renee, Renesmee
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 4 Completed: No Word count: 5687
[Report This] Published: November 19, 2008 Updated: March 20, 2009


Reviewer: RarelyPureNeverSimple Signed
Date: June 16, 2009 Title: Chapter 4: An Awkward Conversation

looks like you've put down a pretty good intro here.

now you need to pick up the action like a pair of fictional scissors and run with it.

and, like running with those fictional sicssors, someone will get hurt.

but, thats OK because you have a fictional first aid kit, packed with fictional band-aids to fix up the fictional injuries that have been caused.

but, unfortunatly, that fictional wound, might get infected! so you will need some fictional antiseptic to be sure that the EVIL fictional infection can be kept at bay.

loving you stuff! keep at it, and i can't wait to see the rest!

P.S. if you couldn't work out what the hell i was talking about, i meant that you've set the ground work, so now you need a problem, a temporary solution, then another problem, a sacrifice, then the happy ending (for some people anyway!)

ily

RarelyPureNeverSimple



Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing. I got what you were saying, no worries. However, I am still new at this whole thing. I'm only 14 but i will definately be putting action in it. I'm still brainstorming and what not, but i'm about to write Krystal's first day of high school, that should be interesting. And no worries, this book covers Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn. There's plenty of time for action. And i think you'll like what Krystal does when she meets James. I've already written the ending so now i just need events that lead up to that. Anyway, I love your review and I'll try to get ch. 5 posted soon. I'm kind of busy because I do have other stories that i'm working on. My original ones, but i'll try to work on this story soon! Thanks so much! -KVMH girl

 




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