i love twilight and that's all there is to it

These are really funny and sarcastic sayings, but they tell the truth at the same time! PLEASE READ THEM!!!

What Kisses Mean: Forehead: You'll be mine forever Hand: I adore you Ear: I'm horny Cheek: You mean so much to me Shoulder: I want you Neck: I want you now Lips: I love you Holding Hands: We can learn to love each other Wink: Let's get it on Holding On Tight: I love you too much to let go Looking in the Eyes: I'm so in love with you Arm Around Waist: I'll show off my love for you Spank on the Ass: That's mine...bitch XD Laughing While Kissing: I am completely comfortable with you

STEREOTYPES ARE WRONG! I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists. I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun. I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed. I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat. I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy. I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy. I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS. I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape. I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch. I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell. I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell. I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat. I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world. I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people. I 'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible. I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay. I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash. I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy. I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants. I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem. I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store. I 'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage. I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.. I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut. I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs. I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth or emo. I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend. I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars. I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy. I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore. I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut. I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one". I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!! I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin. I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life. I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention. I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention. I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual. I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist. I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all. I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player. I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe. I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer. I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser. I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that’s how Russians roll. I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi. I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT. I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13 I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent. I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly... or crazy. I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid. I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat. I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly. I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7 I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals. I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up. I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork. I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty. I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser. I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control. I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister. I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore. I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive. I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border. I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat. I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot. I'm ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis. I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay. I'm PREP, so I MUST be rich. I don't like the SUN so I MUST be albino. I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party. I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo. I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy. I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone. I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too. I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't. I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social. I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy. I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch. My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills. I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch. I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs. I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser. I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE... So I MUST be a whore myself. I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I Must be homosexual. I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak. I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker. I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted. I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled. I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak. I am AMERICAN so I MUST be an obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant. I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent. I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend. I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers. I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare. I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth. I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE. I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid. I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE. (wtf?!) I'm ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER! I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth. I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future. I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue. I CHAT, so I MUST be having cyber sex. I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian. I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see. I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE. I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER. I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED. I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST. DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST. I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick. I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY. I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE. I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard. I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean. I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid. I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around. I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian. I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting. I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak. I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have no clue I am QUIET and POLITE, so I MUST be a pushover. I use GOOD GRAMMAR, so I MUST be a snob. I prefer FANTASY and SCI-FI, so I MUST be out of touch with reality. I love TO LEARN so I MUST be boring. I'm WHITE, so I MUST be a racist. I'm a GUY with LONG HAIR, so I MUST be a hippie/druggie. I'm good with COMPUTERS, so I MUST be a nerd/geek. I'm a GUY, so I MUST love sports. I'm NOT RELIGIOUS so I MUST be treated like crap until I pray to your god. I am a GIRL, so boys MUST be better than me at sports. I am a PUSHOVER, so I MUST have controlling friends I am a GIRL, so I MUST only be good at work I am not EMO, so I MUST be uncool. I am WHITE and I like to DANCE, so I MUST be lame I don't act DEPRESSED, so I MUST be weird. I am SKINNY, so I MUST be sensitive about my weight. I am a CHRISTIAN/CATHOLIC/ANGLICAN/PROTESTANT, so I MUST go to church every Sunday. I am a CHRISTIAN/CATHOLIC/ANGLICAN/PROTESTANT, so I MUST not do anything on Halloween. I am POOR, so I MUST not have good hygiene. I am a HOUSEWIFE, so I MUST have no self respect. I consider myself 'NORMAL', so I MUST be boring.

Your One and Only wish Do it one by one, don't look ahead!

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex. Kaci

2. Which is your favorite color out of Red, Black, Blue, Green, Yellow? blue

3. Your first initial? M

4. Your month of birth? January

5. Which color do you like more, Black or White? Black

6. Name a person of the same sex as yours. Katie

7. Your Favorite number? 13

8. Do you like California or Florida more? Florida 9.

Do you like the lake or Ocean more? Ocean

10. Write down a wish (A realistic one). ...(private)

 Are you done? If so scroll down (Don't cheat--) THE ANSWERS 1. You are completely in love with this person. 2. If you chose: Red: You are alert and your life is full of love. Black: You are conservative and Aggressive. Green: Your school is relaxed and you are laid back Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love Yellow: You are a very happy person and give advice to those who are down 3. If you're initial is: A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life. L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your life is soon to blossom. S-Z: You like to help others and your future life looks very good. 4. If you were born in: Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected. Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever. July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life changing experience for the better. Oct.-Dec.: Your love life be to great, but eventually you will find your soul mate. 5, If you chose... Black: Your life will take o a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change. White: You will have a friend who completely confines in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it. 6. This person is your best friend. 7. This is how many close friends you will have in a lifetime. 8. If you chose... California: You like adventure. Florida: You are a laid back person. 9. If you chose... Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love, and you are very reserved. Ocean: You are Spontaneous and like to please people. 10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday.

10 Things In Golf That Sound Dirty: 1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. 6. Lift your head and spread your legs. 7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. 8. Just turn your back and drop it. 9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls. 10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

This is this cat. This is is cat. This is how cat. This is to cat. This is keep cat. This is a cat. This is dumbass cat. This is busy cat. This is for cat. This is forty cat. This is seconds cat. Now go back and read the third word in each sentence from the top. Pass it on.

Only 592 people can read this, including me!! If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all: Can You? I Cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs rpsoet it. Strange..isn't it=)

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs. REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong. REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn … we fucked up … but that shit was fun!” FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. REAL FRIENDS: Won't tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when you're not down anymore. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Try to half-ass comfort you when you feel down. REAL FRIENDS: Grab you by the shoulders, shake you, and say "Bitch, snap out of it!" FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back. REAL FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Always keep your stuff they borrowed in perfect condition. REAL FRIENDS: Lose your shit and tell you, "My bad ... here's a tissue." FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink because they think it's polite. REAL FRIENDS: Raise an eyebrow and say "Bitch, I'll eat what I want" and are the reason you never have food. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Know a few things about you. REAL FRIENDS: Can write a very embarrassing book about you, with direct quotes from you. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door. REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!” FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Ask you what you number is. REAL FRIENDS: Remind you what you number is when you forget. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Are for awhile. REAL FRIENDS: Are for life. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Have to be reminded not to tell. REAL FRIENDS: Would willingly go skinny-dipping in a tank of acid before they even consider telling. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough. REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say “Bitch, drink the rest of that, you know we don’t waste.” FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will offer to pay when you have a drink. REAL FRIENDS: Will laugh and say "Pay my ass! You'll pay for mine, bitch!" FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Don't let friends drive drunk. REAL FRIENDS: Don't let friends drive drunk alone. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will apologize when you forget lunch money and say that they don't have any left. REAL FRIENDS: Will say "Sucks for you" and finally cave after a few hours and then say "You owe me for this, you fatass." FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will smile and say "Don't worry about me" when they forget their lunch money, even if you didn't offer to pay. REAL FRIENDS: Will say "Bitch, I'm a fatass and I'm starving, now buy me some damn food." FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will automatically tell you you're beautiful when you ask if something makes you look fat. REAL FRIENDS: Will say "Well no shit, sherlock." FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Would tell you not to get a face-lift because you already look perfect. REAL FRIENDS: Would say "Face-lift? I don't think a fork-lift would help." FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Tell you your zits aren't noticeable. REAL FRIENDS: Say "Damn, girl! That thing is HUGE!!" FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Laugh with you. REAL FRIENDS: Laugh at you. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Laugh at all your jokes. REAL FRIENDS: Tell you your jokes suck. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Congratulate you when you get good grades. REAL FRIENDS: Say "Jeez, you nerd. If you were in stupid classes like me, we'd see each other more." FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Encourage you not to skip school. REAL FRIENDS: Photoshop one of their old doctor's notes and use it to spring you from school. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you. REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out! FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world. REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what's wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better! FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours. REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will glare at the guy who dumps you and say "Forget him. You're too good for him." REAL FRIENDS: Kick the guy's ass and threaten to castrate him with a spork if he comes within five miles of you. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Crush on your older brother whom you absolutely despise. REAL FRIENDS: Hate you older brother as much as you do and give him the nick-name "Faggot". FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will ignore this. REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it.

98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who haven't, copy & paste this in your profile.

 God created man before woman because every masterpiece needs a rough draft. MENtal pain, MENtal anxiety, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... all our problems start with men!

I only know how to do things three ways: the right way, the wrong way, and my way... which is the wrong way only faster.

To catch me you got to be fast, to find me you got to be smart, but to be me? Damn you must be kidding...

When you are feeling alone like no one cares, read this cuz its absolutely true : Every night, someone thinks about you before they go to sleep. At least fifteen people in this world love you. The only reason someone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you. There are at least two people in this world that would die for you. You mean the world to someone. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look. Always remember the compliments you've received. Forget the rude remarks. So if you are a loving person, send this to everyone on your list including the person who sent it too you Thank You for being my friend.