Reviewer: 23beatrice Signed
February 10, 2010
Chapter 14: Chapter 14
this story.... it's exquisite. your writing is a breath of fresh air, and your bella & edward are so subtly different from other stories where he's had a very questionable past. i can physically feel their loneliness, edward's struggle to survive & recover. my heart breaks for him, so utterly repentent, yet never able to erase his past. i am rooting for them both, but especially edward, so very very hard. ihope it will eventually get easier for him, and that his relationship with bella is something positive, something concrete....and not toxic to his overall recovery. i hope she's not just an addiction to him, a crutch... but something wonderful & inspiring & loving for him to grow into his future with. like i said, im rooting for these two in a big way.
this last chapter where they finally have sex... it was perfect. so utterly awkward, both of them thinking these wonderful things yet unable to articulate them to one another. edwards feistiness (doggystyle, edward? on your first time with her? he knows his way around the bedroom!) is so very EDWARD... and that they didnt both magically come at the same moment, its much more lifelike. i adore his thirst for her, his concern for her physical comfort afterwards, yet still takes her several times (creatively, too!). i like how they interweave some tough questions & convo in beween their sessions. so heartbreakingly awkward & real-life-like. i like that shes self-conscious of her body... & that you chose not to go into whether or not he has some giant cock... i like it that you actually mentioned the Wet Spot... that she didn't come until he used his hands.... their imperfection is what makes it so perfect.
i also love how you so subtley use the canon char's. i love your seth, your mike, your spin on jasper... that you have angela ben etc. as small but so effective players. im sure if you introduce C, E, R, & Em, that youll do it so appropriately.
i dont know if this story is going to have some major event or conflict or drama added in for them to overcome. i think his past & recovery & acceptance are enough for them to have to tackle.
thank you for sharing your talent & time with all of us. i detest reading on twi, so it says a lot that im over here for this. im so happy i am! i also rarely read WIP's & wait until completion... but your story was so heavily recced im thrilled i took my friends suggestion! your words are beautiful, i cant wait for more!
-Anne (anntastic23 on twitter)