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Penname: MotoBella [ Contact]
Real name: Brandy
Status: Member
Member Since: March 23, 2009
Website:
Beta-reader:
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Summary:  
While hunting one afternoon, Emmett, Jasper and Carlisle stumble upon what appears to be a corpse. When they learn it's a severely broken vampire, they take him home to do what they can to help. But of course, fate has plans for this man. Canon Couples. AU. DARK Themes.
Categories: AU Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jasper, Rosalie
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 32 Completed: Yes
Word count: 158872
[Report This] Published: February 26, 2009 Updated: October 31, 2011
Reviewer: MotoBella Signed
Date: March 23, 2009
Title: Chapter 1: The Hunt
Very interesting! I can't wait to see what comes next...
Reviewer: MotoBella Signed
Date: March 23, 2009
Title: Chapter 2: The Basement
W. O. W. This is incredible! This is so completely different than everything I've read and it's heartbreakingly wonderful.
Reviewer: MotoBella Signed
Date: March 23, 2009
Title: Chapter 3: The Face
Ahhh! Suspense and angst! Blended together beautifully. Great job!
Reviewer: MotoBella Signed
Date: March 23, 2009
Title: Chapter 4: The Exam
Wonderful! I'm absolutely hooked.
Reviewer: MotoBella Signed
Date: March 23, 2009
Title: Chapter 5: The Next Day
Oh my, and wow! Again. I feel like I say "wow" a lot in my reviews. That's my favorite word for this story. It's GREAT! Wow. I am so in love with this Bella.
Reviewer: MotoBella Signed
Date: March 23, 2009
Title: Chapter 7: The Venom
This story is all around, in every way, wonderful! The plot is kind of fascinating, and the concept of a broken vampire is so totally foreign that my curiosity is peaked to the highest level! Can't wait to get a few more pieces of the puzzle. Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing!
Reviewer: MotoBella Signed
Date: March 24, 2009
Title: Chapter 8: The Trial
Ok. This is greatness! I can tell you're worried about the science, and to that I turn right back to you for the answer :-)
"Science had never been my strong suit, so I couldn’t entirely understand the processes that were being explained"...but I trust that you know what you're doing!
I think a majority of the people reading this will totally agree. We don't really have to understand it, we just have faith that you know it works and why. Even if you could go into great chemistry induced detail, it would go right over my head!
And usually I’m not a huge fan of slow moving stuff, mostly because it seems to move even slower because you have to wait for updates, but I love, love this slower pace for this. I feel like the biggest problem in most of the fics I’ve read is that the relationship between E&B progresses way too fast and their dynamic is not developed. Here I can see and feel all of the intense and obscure emotions they will eventually feel towards each other. Because seriously, how could they not end up irrevocably in love after all this!?!?!
Author's Response: "I'm nothing if not thorough...." I get that no one gives two shits about the science (except a handful of science nerds who confess their undying love for my sciencey parts).. but I still have this irrational obsession with making the science as plausible as possible! :P Can't help it, it's my nature ;)
I'm glad you like the slow! Thank you for reviewing!
"Because seriously, how could they not end up irrevocably in love after all this!?!?!"
... and that... is so true. This whole buildup with NO TALKING WHATSOEVER from the vamp.. has gotta help the end result, right??? :)
Reviewer: MotoBella Signed
Date: March 30, 2009
Title: Chapter 9: The Antidote
Oooh, angsty! Very sharp transition, but I guess it's one of those things that would be a lot more clear if you didn't have to wait between chapters. I'm very intrigued by what's happening (and have lots of guesses so bad I won't share!).
On another note, I'm also loving all his new subtle ways of communicating. I do not write, at least not creatively, and I'm fascinated with your ability to develop a character who doesn't talk. Yet you are! Very fun stuff. Author's Response: Haha, yes.. if you could just click to the next chapter there would be none of this transition confusion.. but as it were, you guys have to deal with my lack of cohesive writing! :D
I'm glad you're still enjoying it -- You should take your theories to the board over on the AU forum! Good place for theories, that.
Thanks for reviewing!
- Michelle
Reviewer: MotoBella Signed
Date: April 03, 2009
Title: Chapter 10: The Bedroom
I still love it :-) So glad he's finally getting better. This whole concept of a broken Edward makes me uncomfortable! I seriously can not wait for their first conversation. When he opens his mouth to speak I'll probably have heart palpitations LOL!
And UGH, Rose. Isn't that just like her to get all attached to Bella's vampire. Ha! Author's Response: Yeah, it's sort of a rough situation, but I think all the angst will pay off in the end.. I hope.
I'm glad you're still enjoying it ! Thanks for your continued reviews :)
- Michelle
Reviewer: MotoBella Signed 
Date: April 09, 2009
Title: Chapter 11: The Sunset
Awww! A cooperative almost smiling vampire! I love it :-) I'm happy to see him coming around; you know all that helplessness was making me uncomfortable! And I like this still undefined thing you're doing with Rosalie. She has this intense loyalty that can obviously work for or against Bella. I guess we shall see. And I'm also very curious about Alice's unshared knowledge.
And, by the way, I just payed enough attention to see that you can rate a story! Author's Response: LOL, well im glad you saw the star thing! It took me a while to figure out that you can rate them, as well!
I think this rosalie is pretty true to canon, at least I hope she is. So we'll see how that plays out!
Thanks for reviewing
-- Michelle
Reviewer: MotoBella Signed
Date: April 16, 2009
Title: Chapter 12: The Bath
Aaaah! Srsly? He begs her not to leave and she does anyway! Your Bella is a much stronger girl that SM's. I probably would have melted to the floor!
And I loved the bath. That was just awesome. Loved the nod, great foreshadowing (I've been writing Lit essays all week!) and the great build up. read Bell's thoughts here too.
I'm curious about the mind reading now. It's clear that he does have this canon trait, but it also seems like he can't hear Bella. I would imagine that after all our vampire has been through that this would make him trust her less, not more. Very interesting!
Reviewer: MotoBella Signed
Date: April 21, 2009
Title: Chapter 13: The Balcony
So you should totally change your pen name to something about cliff hangers LOL! You did it again :-)
I am still loving this so much and I can't tell you how excited I am that he's really Edward. It's like deep down you know it's him but you can't know because no one has told you! Affirmation is a beautiful thing. And so is a topless, talking Edward hugging Bella on a balcony! Author's Response: So, I was thinking about this.. because as hard as I try to wrap things up, they just naturally want to go to a cliffhanger.
And I've decided that that's partially the draw of the story. Like, we don't often read MYSTERIES in twilight fic, and this story is just that.. so, since so few answers are out there, every chapter is looked at as a cliffhanger..
Does this make sense?
I know though, there are a lot of cliffhangers, but I can't think of a way to end not on a cliffhanger. I thought the last few weren't, but a lot of people thought they were! Bah.
I'll try not to cliffhanger end next time, but.. it seems like it always ends up that way :P
Thanks for reviewing bb, love seeing what you have to say!
- Michelle
Reviewer: MotoBella Signed
Date: April 28, 2009
Title: Chapter 14: The Weekend
I have to review because I love this story, but I must admit, I'm not a fan of the extra clothes :-) But, knowing what we do about Alice, I'm sure he's still super dreamy, even with a shirt on!
Bella waking up in a healing Edward's arms, now that is a pretty picture! I love that they are getting all kinds of intimate. Three kisses in one chapter! And I love that he trusts her. I am thinking that he can't read her thoughts but I'm a little confused because my initial opinion would be that he would be less likely to trust her because of it, but what do I know? Only the wonderful things you tell me!
And I think you did an excellent job of answering the ever present question of how Bella knows about the Cullens and you gave some great background info on Edward AND you didn't leave us hanging! As always, awesome job!
By the way, my most favorite line, "I couldn’t help but smile at the image of Edward lying behind me, wrapping his arms around me."
Oh I would smile too! Author's Response: LoL, clothes are an unfortunate necessity, eh? x) A shirt and sweatpants on Edward Masen.. I like the mental image, certainly :)
Haha, the mind reading thing will come in eventually.. but so far everything's shown that he can't read her mind.
Yes, I finally outright answered TWO questions! WHAT THE HALE IS UP WITH THAT! :P
Thanks so much for reviewing hon!
Reviewer: MotoBella Signed
Date: May 27, 2009
Title: Chapter 16: The Dance
Aaaahhh Michelle!!! Evidently there is something majorly wrong with me and computers as I just had to have my third hard drive replaced and not 3 days later send the flipping thing back to Dell for a new mother board (and I don't even know what that is!!!) I've been doing school work at the library like a 12 year old and suffering major B&E withdrawals! But the bright side is that I get to come back to like 4 new chapters! I really intended to review each of them but my impatience got the best of me, as usual! So I'll compromise and do the last two.
I heart this story! Mystery is not something you see very much of in Twilight FanFic and I'm not a mystery kind of girl usually because I just can't seem to make myself care who dunnit...but with this I really, really, really want to know!!! And I totally had a "NUH-UH!" moment when he said it was humans. That was absolutely a total surprise!
And I'm so happy with all their relationship growth and the baby steps have really brought them a long, long way. So exciting. And dancing, so cute! I mean seriously. Author's Response: Oh no! Tha't shorrible, hopefully everything worked out!
I'm so glad you've gotten a chance to catch up hon, thanks so much for reviewing!
Reviewer: MotoBella Signed
Date: May 27, 2009
Title: Chapter 17: The Party
Oh what a happy birthday! A semi-social Edward :-) And I just want to sing, like a kindergartner, "Bella loves Edward!" And I love this story! And looking back over my last two reviews, I obviously have a thing for exclamation points too!!!
Reviewer: MotoBella Signed
Date: June 08, 2009
Title: Chapter 18: The Jump
Another great chapter! I always love the unique relationship between Edward and Alice and I'm so glad we get some of it here!
Reviewer: MotoBella Signed
Date: July 05, 2009
Title: Chapter 20: The Reunion
This chapter was great! The little squeal was the PERFECT ending! I love how much progress he's made, and how far they've come. Total awesomeness :-)
Reviewer: MotoBella Signed
Date: July 05, 2009
Title: Chapter 20: The Reunion
This chapter was great! The little squeal was the PERFECT ending! I love how much progress he's made, and how far they've come. Total awesomeness :-)
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